New HDG Story - A Mile In Her Vines Ch 1 & 2

Hey folks! Here's something new. It's quite a bit silly and, frankly, does not pay much reverence or respect to HDG canon so pls don't think too hard about this one. CW wise we have things being mostly lighthearted but chapter 5 is going to have some non con, manipulation and deception. 

If you'd prefer to read this on google docs you can check it out here:

normal text 

big text 

Chapter 1

“You’re delusional if you think this will ever work, you stars-damned weeds!” Unfortunately, no amount of shouting seemed to dissuade either plant. Restrained as she was, Piper could do little more than watch as the shorter of the two weeds—dressed in an oversized white lab coat and ridiculous goggles—continued to fervently tap away at some towering console, lips twisted into a grin of manic glee. The weed finished typing, and, seeming satisfied, rubbed its vines together, spun around in its affini-sized spinny chair, and leapt to its feet.

“That’s where you’re wrong, little terran,” it said, darting forward, and pausing once its face hovered mere inches from Piper’s. “With my newest invention perfected, your submission to your new Mistress is inevitable!” It tensed, then sprung backward into its rolling chair, using the momentum to cross the distance of the lab to a large lever embedded in the wall. “Eryngium!” the weed shouted. “Ensure that both you, and your pet to be are properly secured within… the device.”

At that, the other plant—the one currently holding Piper in place—stood, and carried Piper kicking and screaming across the room to a terran sized chair, behind which lay a massive array of beeping panels, tesla coils, and flashing lights. She was set down, and then secured in place by a pair of large, strong, but soft straps. Eryngium then took a moment to fuss over her, brushing Piper's hair out of her eyes and straightening out her uniform. As she did so, Piper locked eyes with the plant, glaring. “I’ll never be your pet, the will of Terra is unbreakable.”

A soft, musical laugh rumbled from the plant. “Oh, little darling. You’re so silly. You’ll see. Once we’re both securely in place, and Bramble activates its machine, my will shall be beamed directly into your mind, breaking you in seconds. But it’s okay, I promise to take very good care of you once we fix that pesky little feralism problem of yours.” With that, she lowered a comically large dome-shaped helmet over Piper’s head, and sat beside her, hooking some sort of electrode up somewhere deep within her vines. Piper crossed her arms beneath her chest. “This is ridiculous, your machine looks like something out of an old vid from like, centuries ago. There’s no way that machine will do anything besides make you look like a complete ass.”

From across the room, Bramble grinned. “We’ll see,” it teased; it then began to cackle with unrestrained, diabolical jubilation as it flipped the switch. There was a spark. The lights flickered. Behind her, Piper heard whirring. Everything went dark.

Piper felt weird; weird like the weeds had taken an eggbeater to her whole everything, then stretched her out like dough, and molded her back together. Nothing hurt, exactly; everything just felt weird and far away and close together and tangled up and pushed together and—someone was talking. “—Okay come on, what’s science without a little risk? Sometimes along the way there are little hiccups. It’s not a big deal. If anything we should consider this a new opportunity for learning and discovery!” That plant, the weird scientist with the crazy hair—Bramble, it was Bramble. At least, she thought it was Bramble; it sounded a bit different, more resonant?

“You call this a little hiccup?” Another voice asked. This one was also familiar. But it wasn’t Eryngium—that other fucking weed. Still, Piper was definitely, completely certain she’d heard it before, just, also, something about it wasn’t quite right. Nothing was quite right. Piper opened her eyes. Except, it didn’t really feel like opening her eyes. At the end of the day, she achieved the same effect. Groaning, she sat up. Apparently she wasn’t tied down anymore. Moving felt weird, though, like all the muscles she was used to using had been jumbled around, but also everything still felt really instinctual? Weird. Was the room always this small?

Hearing Piper stir, Bramble whirled around. “Dirt, she’s awake.” It took a step back, looking her up and down. “Erm, hey there… little terran? It turns out there was a bit of a mistake in the process. But don’t worry, we’ll get things all sorted out soon. It should only be a few days at most.”

“A few days?” The other voice piped up, sounding shrill and panicky in ways that stirred something in Piper. Come to think of it, though, she couldn’t see that other plant anywhere, or anyone else.

“What the hell are you talking about, weed?” A thousand thousand unfamiliar muscles seemed to tense, contort and contract as she spoke. It came naturally all the same. Definitely weird though. “What’s going on?”

Wincing, Bramble, glanced between Piper and something behind it. “Uhhh, maybe take a look at yourself?” it offered.

“Look at myself? What are you—the fuck?” Green, so much green, also other colors. There were vines and flowers and leaves and—Piper bolted to her feet, frantically trying to claw off the weird growths. But it wasn’t coming off, all she found was more plant. Panicking, she stumbled forward, looking frantically around the room. That’s when Piper saw herself. Except that wasn’t her, because she was standing in front of Bramble. But also Piper was looking right at herself, and the herself she was looking at was hiding behind Bramble and looking back up at her with wide eyes and red cheeks. Then it hit her. “Holy fuckin shit you… you—”

“Yeah,” Bramble said. “So uhmm. The good news is I know what went wrong.” It looked down, scratching the top of it’s head with a vine. And wow, it was weird being taller than an affini. “So what was supposed to happen was after hooking you up to the new mind control device I invented, the device would establish a link between your mind, and Eryn’s, then use that link to beam the force of Eryn’s willpower into your mind, which would overpower you and make you submit to her. Instead, what happened is… well…. Basically instead of doing that what I did was I accidentally hooked you up to a different machine entirely. Specifically uhh… that wasn’t my mind control device that was my body swap device. Which is really embarrassing. I really need to stop labeling every single one of my inventions “New Untitled Bramble Project. Anyway it’s broken now so you two are gonna be stuck like this until I fix it which will probably take a few days.”

“Why do you even have a body swap machine, how did you even make one?” cried Eryngium in Piper’s body.

Bramble shrugged. “Anything is possible through the power of kinky TF shenanigans.”

For her part, Piper wasn’t really listening. Instead, the gears in her mind—was mind still the right word? Did plants have minds? Was she actually a plant or did her brain get like put inside a plant or—

“Best not to think too hard about the mechanics of this… uhh… not so little one.” Bramble chided .

Right, anyway, Piper’s thoughts were spinning with possibilities. She could use this to escape, probably, and then, then she’d… she’d… be stuck in a xeno body with nowhere to go besides somewhere else in weed territory or back to the rebellion which would best case scenario run in fear from her. Fuck. Piper sighed, and slumped in defeat. “Okay so, I’m stuck like this for a few days, what am I supposed to do until then?”

“Well…” Bramble began. “Subduing a resistant affini is… Complicated. So how about this? You behave yourself and I’ll let you wait out the time in the comfort of your own hab unit, then swap you back and bing bang boom, we try again with square one, huh? My actual mind control device oughtta be around here somewhere.” It bent over, and began sorting through what appeared to be a pile of scrap in the corner, randomly tossing small components and gadgets over its shoulder as it went.

“Is that a joke?” Piper bellowed, standing to… well probably not her full height because she was pretty sure that wasn’t how the plants worked, but definitely standing taller than she had been before. “If you think I’m going to sit pretty and wait for you to turn me into a fucking pet you’ve got another thing coming. There’s no stars damn way I’m gonna let her—” as Piper cast her furious gaze toward her real body, now occupied by Eryngium, she froze. A strange feeling began overtaking her.

Because there she was, right? This terran girl, looking all tiny and fragile and scared and embarrassed, staring up at Piper with big, watery eyes and hiding behind Bramble’s leg. And she was just… cute? Like, really fucking adorable. She was so small and looked so soft and huggable and Piper just wanted to scoop the girl up in her arms—vines?—and hug her and protect her and—shit, was this how all affini saw terrans? “Um, shit,” Piper took a cautious step forward, Eryngium flinched. “Wait wait no,” Piper blurted. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry please don’t be scared I didn’t mean to scare you I—I don’t want to hurt anyone okay? I’m not a bad person. I’m just—I’m just some random terran girl I don’t care about all that human supremacy and capitalism crap I just didn’t wanna be an alien’s pet okay?” Piper knelt, and showed her hand-vine things palm up in a show of harmlessness.

It seemed to work, Eryngium relaxed a bit, and nodded. “O-okay. Fine I believe you or whatever,” she stammered. Then she started blushing extra hard, and looking away, which was also just so stars-damned cute. Piper could hardly breathe—actually, wait, did she breathe at all? Probably, Bramble said she shouldn’t worry about the details though, so she didn’t.

This urge was building inside Piper, and she knew she shouldn’t indulge but—fuck it. “Would it, um… would it be okay if I gave you a hug?” Piper asked, kneeling and holding her vines out in a wide, welcoming gesture.

Grumbling to herself, Eryngium looked at the floor, fiddling with her uniform—which really was quite drab, she would look even cuter in something more fashionable—and chewing her lip. With a sigh of defeat, she nodded. “I suppose it would be best for you if you got to have some positive experiences with affini… even if right now I’m not very affini looking. And your wellbeing is still my responsibility, so it’s important that I provide you emotional support in these uncertain times.” Eryngium peeled herself out from behind Bramble, and stumbled on unsteady legs across the room, then wrapped Piper’s arms around her own body but with Piper in it. And it was really nice. Piper wrapped her vines around Eryngium, and sighed contentedly. How had she gone this long without realizing just how soft and huggable she was? Eryngium closed her eyes, and visibly relaxed against her which was just the most precious thing Piper had ever seen; she could get used to this.

“Ahem,” Brambled called. “Sorry to interrupt the moment, but I kinda need my laboratory to myself if you want me to fix this. So I tell you what, terran. Plenty of terrans, most terrans, even, are eligible for citizenship as independent citizens of the Affini Compact. I give you my word that if you keep out of trouble until this mess is resolved, then we will grant you full amnesty for your feralist past, making you no longer eligible for compulsory domestication on those grounds. Deal?”

In truth, Piper had no way to be certain she could trust this plant, but at the end of the day, what choice did she have? “Sounds like the best deal I’m gonna get.”

“Great!” Bramble brightened, and whirled around, grabbing a tablet and thrusting it toward Piper. “Since the original plan was to have you become Eryn’s floret, we didn’t exactly prepare additional housing. Which means—”

“You’re joking,” Eryn protested.

“I most certainly am not… little one.” It flashed the shit eatingest grin to ever shit eat.

“Which means what?” Piper asked, glazing between Bramble, and Eryngium—who was still half pressed against Piper’s chest. .

“I’ll get to that if you’ll let me finish. Which means you two get to be roommates!” It threw its vines out in a display of flamboyant excitement.

“Dirt,” Eryngium muttered. “Dirt roots and leaves. Fine. Somebody needs to make sure my pet doesn’t get up to any trouble, and somebody needs to keep an eye on my body, so it might as well be me. I already committed to being responsible for her, after all.”

“Whatever you say, cutie~” Bramble chirped, vines literally twitching with smug glee. Eryn groaned.

Chapter 2

Head in her hands, Eryn breathed an exasperated sigh, and answered the latest of Piper’s admittedly endless string of questions. “For the last time Piper: the Affini Compact is a post-scarcity society. You can just get whatever you want for free when you want it. Excess luxury for all is kind of our whole thing.”

Piper scratched her chin, and nodded sagely. “So what you’re saying is… I don’t have to pay rent? And nobody is going to force me to do work?”

Frustration flared in Eryn’s—or, really, Piper’s—big, expressive eyes for a moment, then faded. She shook her head. “No, you don’t. Poor dear. Honestly, what kind of nonsense did those rebels and capitalists fill your head with? Nobody in the Compact means you any harm whatsoever.” Her tone had softened considerably, leaving a sympathetic, and slightly chiding smile. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to settle in, get used to all this.” Eryn made a sweeping gesture over Piper’s small, soft body; her annoyance was once again plain as day.

On the other side of Eryn’s living room sat a couch, an affini sized couch; Eryn fixed her gaze upon it, staring the piece of furniture down with the sort of intensity and determination typically reserved for a lifelong rival or insurmountable obstacle. Taking a deep breath, the be-humaned affini clenched her jaw, then crossed the room in a series of long, powerful strides—long and powerful for a Terran, anyway. She neared her target, and, with a quick burst of speed, flung herself toward the cushions. To her credit, Eryn managed to get most of the upper half of Piper’s body onto the couch. Flailing her little legs helplessly, Eryn tried, and failed to haul herself the rest of the way up. In the end, her arms gave out, and she tumbled down to the padded floor, landing on her rear. She slumped forward, then turned around to lean her back and neck against the footrest.

For her part, Piper was struggling to suppress a squeal. Watching the clumsy, uncertain affini-turned-terran try, and fail to scramble up the oversized couch had to have been the most adorable thing she’d seen since stars knew how long ago. Unfortunately, the feeling didn’t last. Once Eryn settled against the couch, her face fell, drooping into dejection, uncertainty and shame. Piper extended her vines, and took an uncertain step forward. “Hey, hey,” she soothed. “It’s okay. Do you, um, do you want help?”

Scowling, Eryn, looked to the floor, then back up at Piper, fidgeted in place a bit, then threw her arms up in defeat. “Fine, fine. Do it. Help me up.”

One thing was for certain, Piper didn’t need to be asked twice. She calmly crossed the room in a few strides, knelt down, scooped Eryn up in her vines, gave her a quick, comforting squeeze for good measure—Piper couldn’t resist—and set Eryn down atop the couch. Satisfied, Piper glanced about the hab, realized she didn’t really have the slightest idea what to do with herself, and sank into the cushion next to Eryn, leaving a relaxed, but not cold amount of distance between them. An uncomfortable hush fell over the pair as they sat idly with little to do but stare ahead at a gigantic, but blank TV screen. Eryn was clearly on edge, continuously fidgeting and breathing quiet little groans.

After a few minutes of silence, Eryn’s frustration seemed to come to its head. She released one last low groan and pounded a little fist against the cushion. “Ugh, stars, this is ridiculous. It was all supposed to be so damn simple and Bramble just had to—never mind. Hab? Turn the TV on, something from my ‘to-watch’ library.”

Suddenly, a cheerful voice rang out from somewhere above them. “I’m sorry, cutie! You don’t have permission to control that device! You’ll have to ask your owner!!”

This time, Eryn’s groan became a barely-contained guttural scream. “Listen to me right now, hab! I am not a floret! I am Eryngium Soetis, Second Bloom; this is my hab unit, and I am your administrator! Remove all floret based restrictions… please and thank you.”

There was a pause, then the voice picked back up. “I’m sorry, cutie! You don’t have permission to edit user profiles or access restrictions! You’ll have to ask your owner!! But thank you for asking so politely like a good girl!!!”

Eryngium’s fire sputtered, then faded as she deflated, and drew her legs inward. Poor thing. “Hey,” Piper murmured. “It’s okay. Let me see if I can do it.” She cleared her throat. “Uhhh… Hab? Please turn the TV to something in my ‘to-watch’ library, and also please give my uhm… pet? full access to your features.”

The hab spoke again, still cheerful, but lacking an obvious helping of condescension. “Sure thing; I’ll get that taken care of right away!” At that, the screen flickered to life, displaying some random plant show. One which, truthfully, Eryn did not seem particularly interested in at all.

“Thanks,” Eryn murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. Nevertheless, Piper swelled at her appreciation.

“Of course uhh… Eryn. It really was no trouble.” Piper gave a warm smile, and scooted just a little closer.

Huffing, Eryn shook her head. “No that’s not it. I mean, you do know the reason the hab didn’t work for me is because I set it to not work for… well… the person in this body, right? Typically that would mean you. And yeah I totally would have given you some permissions once we figured things out but all this demeaning stuff,” she gestured around the room. “The oversized couch with no easy means of terran access, the condescending hab that only works for affini, and honestly, a few more things too, all of that was set up to make you helpless and dependent on me. And you would have liked it, because I would have made you like it.”

Admittedly, Piper hadn’t really thought about it that way. But at the same time, it was hard to be mad at someone so vulnerable and—truth be told—adorably pathetic looking. “Well, if you were going to make sure I enjoyed it, what’s stopping you from just—I dunno—treating this as a vacation, and enjoying the opportunity to not have to worry about anything?”

“That’s not how it works,” Eryn insisted, rolling her eyes. “I’m an affini. You’re a terran. Terrans, or at least terrans like you, are happiest when you’re getting doted on and cared for and loved. Whereas most affini, myself included, are happiest when we’re doing the doting, and the caring, and the loving. Making others happy is what makes us happy. And yes, not all Terrans are happiest as pets either but the point is, I’m not meant to be a pet. You, however, are.” With that, she folded her arms under her chest, and fell silent, the matter apparently settled.

“Well, that sounds like soft bioessentialism to me but also I can see how cultural, historical, and other environmental factors would contribute to both sides of that equation and these sorts of questions aren’t really something I’m able to tackle so I won’t. And if anyone were ever to, hypothetically, write down the story of what's happened to us, neither the hypothetical writer, nor any hypothetical readers would be well served to think too hard about that either," Piper replied, completely settling all matters and implications related to difficult moral and philosophical questions.

Eryn fell quiet, scrunching her cute little face up in thought, before shaking her head, and grumbling. “I’m sorry. I just—I had this whole night planned out for you. After Bramble got you to submit I was gonna take you home, settle down with you on the couch and hold you close in my vines so you’d feel nice and safe and comfortable. And I did my background research, you know? Just before I left for Bramble’s lab I cooked one of your favorite foods, and I prepared a whole collection of media you like for us to choose from. I even went to the nursery the other day to graft on the best possible strains of xenodrugs for your body and needs. And now I’m just—I’m stuck like this.”

Piper listened to the girl with perplexed interest as she explained her plans. Something just wasn’t adding up. “So wait—if you really did do all that, go through all that effort then well… I guess I just don’t get it? Like, what’s the catch?”

Perplexed, Eryn cocked her head, staring up at Piper with a slightly lost, very adorable expression.“The catch? What do you mean?”

“The catch, y’know? You claim you went through all this effort to make a nice impression on me, but then you turned around and tried to mind control me into being your property? There’s gotta be some downside. When comes the part where you force me to do some gross or menial task, or where you torment me for your sick amusement? If you just wanted a mindless, permanent blissed out slave you could have that, no need to do all that nice stuff.”

Judging by the look she received, Eryn clearly thought Piper was a complete fool. “Stars, you still don’t get it. There is no catch. There is no secret back room where the bad stuff happens. This is it. I, like most affini, want a companion whom I could love and treasure and dote upon. You were the one I was supposed to get. Nothing else to it. I just wanted to make you happy.”

Huh. “Huh.” Truthfully, Piper wasn’t sure if she believed that. But she hadn’t exactly seen much to suggest otherwise. For all her bluster, Eryn was clearly a sweetheart. “Well, if you went to all that effort, why don’t we take advantage?”

“What do you mean?” Eryn asked.

“Well,” Piper began. “You’re gonna need to eat something, right? Last time I checked, humans need that. And I dunno much about how the science works there, but I imagine if it’s something that I would really like then it’ll taste good to you in my body too.” She shrugged, then continued, her tone softer, more soothing. “And you’re clearly really wound up, so maybe if we both took some time to relax that would be nice?”

Blushing, Eryn stared at the floor, and pouted. “It’s not that simple,” she mumbled.

Sensing the conflict in Eryn’s tone, Piper pressed her. “Why not? I’m sure you of all people know that human bodies need proper care.”

“It’s not that,” Eryn grumbled, pulling her legs up into her chest. “It’s just, y’know, I’m—I’m freaked out, okay? And you—listen I don’t hold it against you or anything—but you’re a feralist. I don’t exactly feel great knowing a captured rebel who I was about to forcibly domesticate is running around in my body and could just abandon me here like this. Plus, getting stuck in a terran body is a nightmare. Affini bodies have been perfected through millennia of bioengineering. And now, all of a sudden I’m in this tiny, fleshy body that’s a product of the whims and whiles of evolution. I’m weak and helpless. I can’t even get up onto my own sofa, or work my own hab AI without help anymore. I’ve literally lost access to entire senses. The whole rotting world looks huge all of a sudden, and my own kind see me as some adorable pet.” As she spoke, Eryn’s voice—or, Piper’s voice, really—grew increasingly distressed.

It took an incredible amount of self-restraint for Piper to not simply scoop Eryn up into a viney hug. Instead, she opted for something a bit more diplomatic. “Okay, well is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”

Eryn shook her head. “Probably not, no,” she began, only to trail off, and go quiet for a few moments. She grimaced, then muttered something under her breath, before putting her head back against the sofa, and huffing. “Excess amounts of distress can be very unhealthy for Terran bodies. And as your—as the affini who was selected to be your caretaker—I’m responsible for ensuring the health of both you, and your body.” She seemed to be lecturing herself more than anything. With a defeated sigh, Eryn nodded. “Yes, Piper. There is something you can do to make me feel better… As much as I hate to admit it.”

Genuine relief flooded through Piper as she felt vines she hadn’t realized she’d tensed begin to loosen. “How’s that?”

Eryn muttered something to herself, then scooted closer. Perching on her knees, she placed a hand on one of Piper’s vines, tracing it to a small yellow flower. “This one,” she said, pushing at the base until a tiny needle poked through. Satisfied, she moved on to another vine. “This one, and, for good measure, this one too. Inject me with all three, and I’ll be fine for the evening.”

Suddenly, Piper felt nervous, what, exactly, was Eryn asking for? “What will they do?”

Cheeks reddening further, Eryn tensed, then answered. “The first one is a type of Class-A xenodrug. It will make contact feel very soothing, and calming. The second one is a Class-C xenodrug. That will boost your body’s—my current body’s—bonding response in such a way that will make me trust you, and feel safe. The last one is a Class-G xenodrug. Think of it like your terran HRT, but far more advanced. That won’t really help right now, but since your long term wellbeing is my concern, we may as well.” By the end, she was trembling, barely speaking above a trembling, hoarse whisper. Then, without warning, she gave one last hurried addendum in a strained shout. “But I’m only letting you do this because as an affini, your wellbeing is my responsibility, and it would be unhealthy for your body to be under constant stress until Bramble fixes its machine.”

Try as she might, Piper couldn’t fight off a smirk. “Of course, Eryn. I understand. Are you ready?” She paused for a response. Eryn nodded, and, in one deft motion, Piper stung her with all three needles. The effect was almost immediate; Eryn winced, shivered, then stared up at Piper, with a mix of fear, uncertainty and anger. It didn’t last. Piper watched in fascination and adoration as slowly, Eryn’s expression grew dazed, dopey. Her scowl relaxed into a distant smile as all the tension in her body evaporated, and she began to look upon Piper full of longing, and awe.

"Wow, um…” she slurred. “I think maybe you gave me a bigger dose than I should’a had. But tha’s okay. No negative side effects, just… really strong. Do you uh—do you think maybe I could have a hug?”

The almighty herself could have descended from the stars and offered Piper the whole universe on the condition that she say no, and Piper still wouldn’t have been able to resist those pleading eyes. “Of course, Eryn,” she cooed, wrapping the little—affini? Terran?—in her vines. Without warning, Eryn slumped forward, and curled up against Piper’s chest, sighing in contentment as a peaceful smile crossed her face. Piper couldn’t help herself, operating on pure instinct, she began to stroke and pet Eryn all over, watching in delight as Eryn responded in kind by nuzzling and leaning into her more with each stroke.

The rest of their night passed in a blur of affection and doting. Piper helped Eryn with dinner, then carried her to the couch so they could watch whatever was on TV. Eryn happily settled into Piper’s lap, and hardly breathed so much as a single grumble of protest while Piper spent the remainder of the night just doing what came naturally: fussing and doting on the little sophont in her lap. It didn’t take long for the precious little one to fall right asleep.