some thoughts, or maybe about my future

It's going to be quite long and serious, so this article uses a translator to correct it. It's been a while since I've been an artist, especially as a furry artist.

and i want to say my future goal is that I will no longer accept nsfw commissions from the public, but only on patreon, and later on, things will get better I will only do what I want to do. will be more sfws and still life, small standard ladies than big ladies.

More like everybody type and gender, and having fun myself. so it won’t be full of big ladies anymore sadly. I will explain why I am bring up to this conclusion for you.

 Everyone who supports me could be for the same reason, or maybe different reasons. Whatever the reason will be, I'm always grateful. And I'm doing my best for those expectations. It's a shame that health issues have prevented me from working as quickly and as much as I used to, but I still think it's better not to overdo it when you think about the future.

And I always feel an infinite sense of gratitude for those of you who understand me. But, to be a little more honest, I think maybe the majority of you guys are supporting to see more of the nsfw paintings of mine which totally make sense though because I worked as nsfw artist pretty long time. But I have to tell you this. It's a really long, long-overdue issue.

After a long period of drawing that someone asked me to do, not what I wanted to do, I started to lost interests in drawing nsfw. as you all know, the majority of paintings with nsfws are related to sex and taboo, and I actually don't really enjoy that much about them.

I know that these desires are important because they're a big part of humans, but I needed balance more than that. I just wanted to draw those kinds of emotions, simple times, everyday lives, and natural nsfws. I've been getting myself hooked on life and living as an adult, and I've started to feel like I'm just printing kinks that others ask me to draw.

also i originally started art because I felt myself alive in the process of having fun, with the character, of their behavior, , communicate, interact with them ,of being alive. While I like big lady, I actually like the standard or smaller female characters most (not including minors, of course.) But when I was keep drawing bunch of painting big ladies, I wanted to draw things that I wanted to draw at some point, but I found myself already surrounded by so much work.

In a way, I think it's my mistake, and the more I had to adjust the different kinds of paintings that I liked, the more I didn't understand this whole situation earlier and push through too much.

even add into it unfortunately, about three years ago, I was put under police scrutiny for my nsfw arts because I was penalized for staying in my country. after that in fact, been in constant financial distress ever since. The debts resulting from my ex-boyfriend, and other debts the end reasonable but still scammed me totally have made it so difficult for me.

 I don't know how much, I have continued to receive help from countless people. Nevertheless, it makes me feel really stressful that I still have two or three more years to pay back The biggest problem is where my heart disease has gotten worse.

it is also true that commissions are often pushed back. I have to work slowly because I'm sick, but I have no choice but to make money from work because I have to live. i'm keep saying " I'm not giving up, I'll keep trying" but I don't know how long I'll be able to last either.

 I hesitated to write a lot. I'm not sure how you'll react, and I'm still afraid, but I thought it was right to at least bring up the situation, what kind of thoughts I'm in, and what direction I'm trying to go in, so I wrote this. Thank you for reading this long. I wish you all happiness, good health, and blessings.

+thanks megalordsalmon adjust english paragraphs for me