Fate Touched 24
Added 2024-07-25 15:15:57 +0000 UTCI am not British, nor do I own either property.
Comments
So, so good as always... Also, thanks for sorting all of the Fate arcs together, it will probably make me read them all again later this summer.
Jeremy Boyet
2024-07-29 12:59:56 +0000 UTCAs always this is just fucking awesome and I can't wait to see what happens next!! I eagerly await your next excellent chapter
Ranma_Leopard
2024-07-28 05:01:39 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. One of my favorite stories by far. I will say while I understand getting down to the business of moving the plot along is good don't completely forgo the small moments of affection between Tariel and Hary. It is their story and I for one enjoy the small romantic moments sprinkled into a tale set in Middle Earth. It's a refreshing change of pace and makes this alternative retelling stand out all the more.
GarrukeWilde
2024-07-26 10:05:11 +0000 UTCI believe there is at least one case of Underbelly instead of Thunderbelly. And I did not understand what you meant with quantifying in this sentence: "trade agreements with the Stiffbeards, quantifying those in a way that Thorin hadn’t yet". This should maybe be "sent yet" instead of "True, this might be the largest caravan Erebor’s yet sent in..." At some points you say the wersterlings created the Wainriders at others the Easterlings. Also considering you saud no beta looked over the text yet, you could reduce the "yets" in the story, by maybe switching a few of them to "but" or other synonyms, though I personally like the word yet. I enjoyed the story a lot, and liked the short descriptions to describe the timeskip and the relevant happenings not in a bulk, but always connected to the current part of the story.
Sarlisark
2024-07-26 06:30:27 +0000 UTC
