10p
Added 2021-10-16 13:28:53 +0000 UTCBig thanks to Euphemural for Spanish translation!
Big thanks to Laviner for Chinese translation!
Comments
Thank you for feedback!
Qundium
2021-11-05 16:41:48 +0000 UTCI'd recommend "You cannot have" instead of "Can not have". English is weird so we almost never write "can not" as two words, and the "You" before it is needed to indicate subject.
Menthe
2021-10-18 00:19:41 +0000 UTCThis being said, if you insist on adding the "Fuck" word, maybe just "THE FUCK?!" is enough
Riodile
2021-10-17 07:24:16 +0000 UTCIf I can comment on something, try to not use the word "Fuck" too often. It makes the comic less intense than it should, and it felt like you're trying too hard to make the comic sounds "adult." Also, with how sudden Cocoshark goes for Orca, I think he should have less sentence to say. Maybe he should just say "WHAT THE?!" and "How did you-" with the 'How did you' part being written as if his dialogue were interrupted by Cocoshark. I don't know what to say for the "A piece of coconut" part since it appears you're using it as a pun for "Piece of cake." And that last dialogue can go like "Don't worry, Mr. Orca. I'll take a good care of this body!"
Riodile
2021-10-17 07:23:14 +0000 UTCThank you for feedback!
Qundium
2021-10-16 23:22:29 +0000 UTCYeaaaa, the comeback I was waiting for 😁
Russell Benton
2021-10-16 18:29:40 +0000 UTCFor the second speech bubble, depending on what the orca is denying there are two better ways of writing that. If he can't believe this is happening to him and the focus is on himself being attacked then it could be "You cannot do this... to me..." but if his focus on how the container was supposed to hold coco in, then try "You cannot have.. how did..." (The ... are important for conveying he's having trouble speaking and are good lead-on to panel 3 where he's just making an incoherent guuuh noise)
Menthe
2021-10-16 16:21:00 +0000 UTCOhhh how the tables have turned
Jonathan Grabo
2021-10-16 16:00:37 +0000 UTCIs it meant to say coconut? Since the normal phrase is cake
1337Cabbage
2021-10-16 15:53:36 +0000 UTCThank you for feedback!
Qundium
2021-10-16 15:36:24 +0000 UTCThe last phrase should read "Mr. Orca, I'll take good care of this body!" If that helps :)
bludrgn
2021-10-16 14:36:30 +0000 UTCLooks fantastic!
bludrgn
2021-10-16 14:36:09 +0000 UTCIt's one of my favourite plot twist!
NEKOplus
2021-10-16 13:30:04 +0000 UTC
