UPDATE: Whats been going on
Added 2025-06-20 19:22:09 +0000 UTCHey everyone,
Sorry for the silence over the past few months. I've been updating my Discord with everything that's been going on, but I recently realized that not everyone checks Discord — so I wanted to post an update here as well.
It all started just before April, when I began experiencing severe stomach pain. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but it quickly worsened. I saw my doctor about two weeks later, and they initially thought it was constipation, so I was given laxatives and other treatments. Unfortunately, nothing worked, and my condition deteriorated. The pain became unbearable, and after two weeks, I went to the ER.
They ran a CT scan and suspected Crohn’s disease, but I had to wait a month for a colonoscopy to confirm it. Not long after that ER visit, I reached a point where I could barely eat or drink — everything I tried to consume just came right back up. After a few weeks of that, I went back to the ER.
This time, the CT scan showed that things had gotten much worse. What they originally thought was Crohn’s disease turned out to be colon cancer. I was admitted immediately and underwent emergency surgery, during which they removed my colon. Thankfully, they’re confident they got all of the cancer.
However, complications followed. When they reconnected what remained of my colon to my intestines, the connection didn’t hold, and I began leaking internally. Three days later, I was rushed into another surgery, this time for sepsis — and I nearly didn’t make it. They weren’t able to reconnect everything again, so I now have an ileostomy bag. This means my waste is redirected to an opening in my abdomen, where it exits into a bag.
Because of this, my body can no longer properly absorb nutrients from food. I’ve become severely malnourished and have lost most of my muscle mass. On top of that, I developed an infection in the surgical area, which required the doctors to open half of the staples along my abdomen (the incision runs from my chest down to my pelvis). The wound is being kept open so it can be cleaned, packed, and treated daily with antibiotics. A nurse now visits my home every day to care for it.
I spent over two weeks in the hospital and was only just discharged recently. I’m still in a lot of pain and dealing with a long recovery ahead. The ileostomy bag is expected to stay for at least 3–6 months — and there’s a chance it may be permanent.
That said, I’m finally home and, despite everything, looking forward to getting back to work on my mods as soon as I’m physically able. I truly appreciate everyone who’s been patiently waiting for updates. A huge thank-you as well to those of you who stayed subscribed or donated during my absence — your support has meant more than I can say and has helped me immensely during this difficult time.
Thank you again. I hope to be back to creating and updating soon. ❤️
Comments
While looking for and grabbing some mods, I happened to see this comment, and it absolutely shook me to my core. [Edit: this got long, sorry, but I've been feeling bad about my story, and thought I'd let it out with some tears here.] Last year, was very sad and rough for me - I lost my partner of 13 years named Verna, to metastatic colon cancer. She regularly had stomach pains and issues before we met and throughout the time of our relationship, but for the most part they were short-lived. Then one day in late October of 2023, I was working in my home studio and I heard her wincing in a lot of pain. She pleaded, "Hunny, take me to the hospital tomorrow okay? I feel like something's really wrong down in my gut here". I responded, "Do you want to go tonight? To Emergency? It sounds like something serious, and I don't mind taking you..." (The closest hospital was a half-hour drive from where we lived.) But she later mentioned that the pain was subsiding, and she should be okay, and we could just go in the morning. Earlier I had planned a trip to Dauphin the following day, a town another half-hour drive past Ste Rose, where the closest hospital was, as a large parcel shipment of studio tools and cables had arrived at the Dauphin post office, and I had to re-stock our near-empty fridge and cupboards with food for the family. The next morning about 9 a.m. I was all ready to go, so I checked on Verna to see of she was as well, but instead she was just lying in bed watching her usual daytime shows, grinning. "Hunny, aren't you gonna get ready? I'd like to leave soon", I asked. "No ... honestly, I'm feeling back to normal today", Verna responded to me. "You can go without me. I feel almost perfectly OK now." I sat on the bed, quite concerned. "We should get that checked out", I pleaded with her. "You were in a TON of pain last night, I should have taken you then. Seriously, pack what you need and let's go get this looked at. It could be something very serious, even if you're feeling fine right now." You can see where this is going - ultimately, I had to make the trip without her. And then it hit me for the first time as I left our driveway - a VERY bad feeling about something, as I drove our SUV. I'll never be able to fully articulate it - only that it made me feel suddenly alienated, everything around me seemed more and more unfamiliar, and I felt more like a stranger in a strange land, as if I was driving on a road and going through the parkland feeling like 'I've never been here before'. I didn't like it one bit, and the closer I got to Dauphin, the more overwhelming the feeling became. I remember sitting in our car after I parked in front of the local post office, for a good five minutes until it subsided. Just as I got out of the car, the thought hit me like a ton of bricks: "I should have forced her in to the car. I really should have made her go to the hospital." If only. The next few months passed without many incidents of pain in her stomach, but all that came to a halt on the night of March 4th of last year. She had fainted upon returning from the bathroom and subsequently soiled the floor accidentally, all while I was mixing a studio project loudly. I feel horrible that Verna had to call me on my phone to get my attention, and my work ended suddenly that night, turning my complete care over to her and trying to ease her pain. Again, she opted out of a late night trip to Emergency in Ste. Rose. Finally, she was self-admitted on March 6th. The medical teams in Ste. Rose however, couldn't find anything certain given the equipment the hospital had, so she was shipped over to Dauphin, where some alarming discoveries were soon made. She kept telling me, and everyone else, she'd be coming home once they got to the bottom of it. But the bottom of it was, she was dying. She'd BEEN dying, for months, and no one knew or suspected - not even her, until April the 3rd, when her chief surgeon informed her of her terminal illness. Even after that, she still ... told NOBODY of her true circumstance. I came to the hospital more frequently because her promise of being able to come home soon, seemed more and more elusive each passing day, with the deadly growth of of wayward cells spreading to her uterus, kidneys and abdomen, as the cancerous mass slowly sucked the life out of her. The one day I returned to see her harboring a plastic fluid bag attached to her insides, that was the day I discovered what an ileostomy was. Things were gaining terrifying speed, in the opposite direction of 'getting better'. Verna passed away on May the 8th of last year just after midnight. I learned of her terminal illness just nine days before she died, and those nine days as I stayed overnight, every night at her bed side, were absolutely the most sad nine days I have ever lived. Given the fact that she was full-blood Oji-Cree, I was pretty much forced to leave the house I'd lived with her in, on her reservation for six years, very rapidly, within the following three weeks. The ONLY peace I could find for the rest of the year (and much of this one), is the knowledge that my late girlfriend, my soul mate and love of my life, had found hers. And of course, I very much wish YOU that peace as well, and hope you find that road to recovery. You really are a good fighter; I know the pain you've felt, and I dearly hope it is gone. But ... it is cancer, and it's evil, and it's sneaky, and will attack you again when you least expect it if you're not 110% checking your system and reporting what you should to doctors every single day. I hope you take care of yourself to the fullest and survive this, and thank you for letting me get these words out. Hopefully, at the end of the day, they can serve to remind you, that you are absolutely not alone in this. Be strong, friend... PH
p1anomanpaul
2025-08-11 10:15:15 +0000 UTChope you get well soon.
doujin
2025-06-21 13:30:39 +0000 UTC
