Comm: Sue Everything Gets Even

Summary: Sue realizes that her heroism hobby is being taken advantage of by wealthy businesses, so she decides to teach them a lesson by showing them just how bad she'd be if she weren't such a good person. Commed by notcones

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The Ganymede Company was a well-known car manufacturer—one could say it was the most infamous one of all. The bombastic CEO, Moray Knievel,  couldn't help himself from making audacious comments scooped up by every news organization. His audacious pro-union-busting remarks and his reciprocation against strike action at more and more Ganymede dealerships, had painted a bright red target on his company's back. 

With corporate PR publicly condemning the actions of "rioters" destroying new electric vehicles on dealerships, security was beefed up in turn at HQ, and guards were on high alert for any would-be activists looking to cause a scene. 

BZZT! One guard glanced at the monitor to see who was buzzing at the front gate. There was a woman there, in a hoodie and shorts...

"Can I help you?" The guard pushed a button and talked into the mic. 

"Helloooo! I have a delivery for Mr. Knievel, can you get the gate?" 

The guard frowned. "We aren't expecting any more deliveries tonight. Identify yourself." 

"It's Sue! From the news! I'm kinda famous!" Sue replied cheerfully. 

The guard tensed up. He raised his hand from the mic to turn to his supervisor. "That Sue Everything? Do we let her in? She's a superhero..."

"...I don't like this." The supervisor scowled, adjusting his shades. "Just turn her away. She shouldn't cause problems."

"Mr. Knievel isn't seeing any visitors today," The guard spoke into the mic. "Please leave the premises." 

"Y'sure? It's reeeeeeeeally important." Sue sighed. "Dang. I'm not really good at taking no for an answer." 

CRASH!!!

The mic and video feeds cut out as a cacophony of noise could be heard. The guards leapt out of their seats and turned to the window. The bow of a white superyacht had been launched into the gate, its paint chipped and scratched and its hull practically shredded from impact with the pavement. 

Sue paced along, jauntily whistling as she approached the aft of the ship. With seemingly no effort at all, she extended her arm, her hand stretching in all directions to grasp the ship with one oversized hand.

"I wanted to deliver this superyacht over to you guys!" Sue cheered, spinning the ship on her finger like it was a basketball. "Brand new too, with a price tag of, I dunno, hundreds of millions of dollars, I don't know! But hey, gotta tighten your belt to afford the necessities, I guess!~"

She tossed the boat far into the air, before slapping her cheeks together, molding her face meticulously. She fashioned a gnarled muzzle with sleek fangs, flaring nostrils, glistening green scales, and a deadly glint in her eyes... her head resembled a fierce dragon. 

FWOOOOOSH! The security gawked in horror as she breathed a plume of fire at the boat. The fireball enveloped the ship; the earth shook with another massive explosion that caused the ground to rumble from the concussive blast. Chunks of the ship's hull scattered in all directions, the shockwave of sound sharing glass and windows as an explosive fireball surged towards the sky. 

Where Sue was standing, she witnessed a particularly large chunk of the ship throttling towards her. She did see it coming a mile away, and she could've moved, but she stood her ground, tapping her finger on her lip.

"...Oopsy-"

CRUNCH! Sue was crushed under a chunk, globlets of her shapeshifting biomass splattering out from underneath. The guards watched in horror as the disparate chunks of goo moved on their own, tendrils of slime curling and reforming into not one, not two, but some dozen copies of Sue herself. 

"GET BACK! GET BACK!!" The cracking vocal chords of the guards betrayed their terror at the shapeshifting menace. Sue simply smiled and approached them, even as they drew their protective weapons. One Sue broke off to apprehend the security guards who were watching the camera feed...

BZZZT! She stopped in place as the end of a taser found its way to her breast. She moaned pleasurably, reaching down to pluck the device free.

"Thanks for the pick-me-up!" Sue beamed. "Now, c'mon, let's get you guys away from this trainwreck waiting to happen!~"

The Sue copy lashed her arms out to ropey lengths, binding the guards up and carrying them away, while the others entered the main building through various points, be it through the main entrance, or crawling up the sides of the buildings to upper floors. 

One of the Sues approached the reception desk, only to find that it was seemingly unmanned. She whistled, glancing around as her heels squeaked with each step. 

"Hellooooo!~" She hollered, tapping a bell on the reception desk. "Anyone here?" 

She trained her ears, picking up on some sobbing underneath the table. She picked up the entire desk with one hand, finding a secretary cowering underneath with running makeup and wet eyes.

"...AH!!" The secretary yelped, trying to scootch away. But with her other hand, Sue gently tugged at her miniskirt to hold her in place.

"Heyyy! I'm not gonna hurt you, sweety!" Sue smiled. "Can you tell me where Moray Knievel is? That's all I wanna know."

"TOP FLOOR! PRESIDENT'S SUITE!" The woman sobbed, collapsing to her knees. "-hic- PLEASE DON'T KILL ME-E-EEEE!!" 

"Thank you! That narrows things down a lot! Such a big building..." Sue tossed the desk aside with a deafening clatter, before reaching for the woman. She bridal carried her to the door, the woman screaming bloody murder, kicking and screaming until she was released near the front door.

"Okay, go get to safety!" Sue brandished a twenty dollar bill. "And take this! Go get a nice stuff drink!"

She stuffed the dollar bill in the woman's pocket and ushered her out. The woman struggled to get running on her heels, but hurried away awkwardly. The Sue hivemind, learning of their target's location, began to converge onto the upper levels. 

POW POW POW POW!

Sue blinked as her skin stretched, small pellets burrowing into her backside. She prodded her back, feeling for several small steel balls embedded in her backside.

She grunted as she forced her skin to expand, popping the pellets out. Her torso twisted past 180 degrees to stare down her aggressor, a security guard armed with a pistol, loaded with non-lethal ammo. 

"Oh well, you tried! And you failed." Sue began to pace over, her heels squeaking with each step. "Let's get you out of here before you make any more mistakes tonight..."

"FREEZE! FREEZE!!" The guard continued to unload his clip at Sue, her smile unwavering as her breasts yielded to each strike, He even got some headshots in, but they only managed to warp her face to a more plasticine quality. 

---

At the highest floor, there was a mad scramble to escape. The security detail assigned to Mr. Knievel was trying (and failing) to fend off an army of Sues. A pair was being held to a board room, eagerly shrinking to dodge the swing of the blunt side of their firearms, while Knievel was making his way to the helipad. An escape helicopter was waiting for him.

"I'M HERE!" Knievel barked, stumbling to climb into his seat and do up his seatbelt. "WHY ARE WE STILL HERE!? GET IN THE SKIES!!"

"And the security detail still in the building?" The pilot glanced over.

"THEY DID THEIR JOBS! TAKE OFF!" He snarled, hair frayed and messy. His entire body trembled with a cold sweat that betrayed his aggressive words. Moments later, the helicopter would begin to rise from the building...

"HEEEEEY! MISTER KNIEEEEEVEEEEEEEEL!~"

Sue's voice range through the sky. Knievel glanced over the side as multiple Sues began to fuse together below, their combined mass surging into a titanic mass. She grew rapidly to a giantess scale, quickly outscaling the size of the building. She smiled at the approaching helicopver, her face broad enough to take up the whole view.

"G-GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Knievel barked. The helicopter swerved out of the way and accelerated forward, attempting to get away.

Sue wasn't done with them yet. She leaned forward against the roof of the building, the topmost spire pressing into her cleavage. She reached with one of her arms, stretching it to a ropey length, and caught one of the landing skids between her finger and her thumb, holding it in the air. 

"GOOOOOOTCHUUUUUUUUU!~~" Sue cackled, drawing the helicopter closer to her. She lowered her other hand to the deadly spinning blades, pinching to force the helicopter to stop spinning, as if she was holding a little aluminum cast toy.

"WH-WH-WHAT DO YOU WANT, SUE!?" Knievel stammered, his bravado failing him.

"JUST WANNA TALK!" Her voice was booming, even if her mood was eerily chipper. "THE PILOT CAN GO HOME THOUGH. GOODBYE PILOT!~"

The pilot screamed in terror as she plucked him out of the craft... and gingerly placed him on the roof of the building, near the fire exit. She plucked Knievel out next, before crunching the helicopter in her hand. 

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I-I'M RICH! I HAVE A LOT OF POWERFUL FRIENDS!" Knievel struggled to get free. "LET ME GO!!"

"EH! IF YOU INSIST!~" She let him go, causing the man to fall over fifty feet in the air. He screamed in terror all the way down... at least until Sue caught him again in her soft palm. Panting with terror, she raised him up to her face, her eyes narrowing.

"ARE WE GOING TO CHOOSE OUR WORDS A BIT MORE CAREFULLY NOW!?" She smirked, her booming voice cloying and taunting.

"FINE, FINE! I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT!" Knievel pleaded. "JUST DON'T KILL ME!" 

"VEEEERY GOOOOOD!~" Sue beamed. "NOW, ABOUT THOSE UNION TALKS YOU'VE BEEN GHOSTING..."

---

"...Thankfully, despite the destruction at the building, no employees were harmed or killed in the attack. In the wake of Sue Everything's attack on the Ganymede Company's headquarters, CEO Moray Knievel has agreed to sit down with the head of the international workers union representing interests for factories and dealerships across the country. He has announced his intention to sign off on all their requests, including an expansion on benefits, four day work weeks, and pay raises across the board..." 

That same evening, the evening news covered the explosive attack on the Ganymede Company. At home, Sue hugged Josh as they watched TV on the sofa... actually, every part of her body was wrapped around him. Josh seemed to have his head poking out of her coiled up limbs, like he was trapped in a ball of yarn. 

As the concessions were listed off, Sue quickly retracted and slid off of him, excitedly bouncing on her tushy. 

"Haha, there it is!" Sue pointed at the screen. prodding the CRT with a big finger not unlike a sport's WE'RE NUMBER ONE glove; the TV was listing off a variety of other concessions made. "The holiday bonuses are uncancelled! Isn't that great!?"

"...Y-yeah, uh, it's great..." Josh rubbed his neck. "But... was that whole stunt at Ganymede HQ necessary, Sue? People could've died..."

"Aw, I'm more careful than that." Sue chuckled. "I made sure everyone got out okay. Besides, it had to be done. That asshole was treating you like dirt, and you struggle to make ends meet as it is..."

Sue folded her arms and slouched against the couch. She tugged her arms back and forth as she knotted them together, as if working with a stress-relief toy; her arms squeaked with every deliberate, emphatic movement. 

"It's just... guys like him really grind my gears." She pouted. "I try to do good for the city, and all these corporations just want me to use my face and my heroics to advertise their crummy brands. They think just because I'm like taffy that I'm soft, that I can just be walked all over..."

She groaned, extending her neck over her armrest on the sofa. Her head hit the floor upside down as loops of her neck pooled into a pile on her lap. Her fingers, forming a peace sign, strolled along her squishy neck.

...She extended her neck a little further, her head rearing up like a snake as she turned to Josh. 

"You... don't see me any differently, do you?" She frowned. "I was just trying to help..."

"Yeah, you were... you did!" Josh turned to Sue with a smile. "And not just me. You helped a whole lot of people!" 

"...Mm, mostly. I think I might've traumatized a couple of the employees..." She shrugged. 

"Wh-what I mean to say is... y-yeah, you can get, uh... pretty scary, when you're really mad like that." Josh rubbed his neck. "But I... I always know you're trying to help in any way you can. And you can... you can do anything."

"...Sometimes I really gotta throw my weight around to get anyone to listen to me..." Sue sighed. "Thanks for understanding. I... I wasn't sure if going ahead with this was the right call..."

Her eyes turned ahead to the panic-stricken CEO giving a presentation. He was utterly unkempt, trembling, hair wild. She puffed her cheeks in a pout, each of them blowing up like bubblegum balloons. 

"...But you gotta scare some people straight, I guess."