Flexible Thinking for a Modern Life: Chapter 20
Added 2020-08-12 15:36:10 +0000 UTCSummary: A commission series for Alfalfa. Iris Fleurs, the stretchy daughter of a slime mother and a human father, tries to live her best life and feel comfortable in her own skin. Teenage rebellion ensues.
CHAPTER 20
The situation was deteriorating quickly in the apartment. Smoke filled the air, and it was getting thicker with every passing second. Iris didn't want to stay here a second longer than she had to. She felt like she was getting a little hot under the collar.
"Eustace, c'mon, trust me on this!" Iris leaned against the railing. "You'll be fine! And your cats are waiting for you! ...Or Beth's cats!"
"You see how high the jump is!?" Eustace flailed his arms. "I'd break my neck!"
"We'll catch you, really! The fire department's not here yet, it's the only way!" Iris nodded, her fingers drumming against the rail. "I know it's scary, but you're a grown man! Don't be an idiot!"
Eustace blinked, his eyes lowering. Apparently, getting lectured by a high schooler was all-new territory. His eyes looked behind him.
"...But what about all my stuff-"
"Leave that to the insurance companies!" Iris hollered. "Are you with me or not!? I really don't need a man's life on my conscience, you know??"
"Ah... aaahh..." Eustace's eyes darted all over the place. He anxiously bit his lip.
"...I guess I got no other choice..." Eustace reluctantly nodded, shimming to the handrail.
"Good! Great! Alright, just wait there, I'll be ten seconds. Fifteen tops!" Iris reassured him. "You're gonna be fine!"
Iris' torso zipped away in an instant; she could feel the wind against her backside as she retracted her elongated body back to some semblance of normalcy. She stumbled slightly as her body restored its normal proportions...
"Oop!" Debbie was in just the right spot to catch Iris' fall. "Is he gonna jump...?"
"Ah, thanks for catching me," Iris turned to Debbie with a smile. "Yeah, I convinced him. Did you find some guys to help out?"
Debbie nodded, gesturing over to the side. "These guys were doing some road work a few blocks over." The men in question were all garbed in heavy, padded clothing, as well as reflective vests. One of them removed their hard hat, staring at the smoke from the building with visible concern. Another work looked at Iris' getup, rather quizzically at that.
"Alright! They look tough! Good work!" Iris patted Debbie's shoulder. "This won't take too-"
"You sure this isn't gonna hurt you? At all??" Debbie frowned, still a little skeptical about this entire plan.
"It'll be fine! Really!" Iris patted Debbie's shoulder, a bit more urgently this time. "Seriously, you should be worried about the guy up there!"
Debbie's eyes drew upwards. "I-I guess... okay! Okay, what should we do?"
"Hey, guys! Over here, huddle up!" Iris hollered. The workers hustled over, standing at attention.
"Okay, each one, take one of my limbs and pick me up. On the count of three, pull, okay? I'll say when to stop." Iris turned to each of them. "Any questions?"
"A-Ah... wh-what if I lose my grip? I don't... I'm not sure if I'm-"
"You'll be fine! We've gotten this far!" Iris reassured her. "Just hold on as tight as you can! I don't care if you got clammy hands or whatever..."
"Hey, girl," One of the workers piped up. "How does a kid like you get, I'unno, stretchy like that?"
"Th-that's not really relevant to what we're doing right now!" Iris stammered. "Okay, we're good? We're good!"
Iris flopped on her backside, sprawling her limbs out in all directions. The three workers, plus Debbie, descended upon Iris, each of them taking one of Iris's limb. Debbie hid her blush from Iris' sight as she took Iris' right hand...
"Okay! One, two, three!"
In unison, they pulled Iris in all directions. Iris winced as the tugging sensation surged through her entire body. She focused, letting her body unfurl in a particular way. Like dough in the hands of a chef, her body stretched out in all directions, flattening further and further as she went. The subtle curves of her body completely flattened out as her limbs were pulled in all directions; her body from the neck down looked like an enormous, flat, suspended pancake.
In a few moments, Iris' body had completely changed to something resembling a suspended trampoline. Her wafer-thin body waved gently in the wind. Iris winced slightly, feeling her nerves stretched to their furthest extremities.
"Is she gonna hold out!?" One of the construction workers hollered.
"I'm all tensed up! It'll work!" Iris replied, focusing intently. "Take me over!"
It took some coordination on everyone's part, but Debbie and the workers would successfully carry Iris over to a point just underneath the railing of the balcony. Iris elongated her neck, her head bobbing unsteadily. She glanced up to the railing, her eyes meeting Eustace's.
"Okay! We're ready!" Iris hollered. "You can do this!" Iris lowkey hoped that Eustace would get down from there sooner instead of later—stretching her body like this really exposed herself to the chill of the wind. She had to have been stretched out to a diameter of at least ten feet wide!
Eustace glanced over the balcony, gritting his teeth. He visibly swallowed, clambering carefully over the ledge, one leg after the other.
"...Uhp!"
He tumbled down feet first, rather unsteadily at that! And the way he was going, he risked landing face first!
"Uwah! Go, go!" Iris blurted, her body wobbling as he urged her teammates forward. They all clambered to catch his landing.
Iris winced, tensing up her entire body...
Fwump!
Eustace's heavy body hit Iris' body, just a touch from the dead center of her stretched out body. Her body held steady, bouncing him up slightly, before sagging to catch him. Iris' eyes shot wide open, and she could feel her body slowly creep to the ground out of exhaustion.
"Ah-" Debbie yelped as Iris's narrow, ropey limb slipped from her grasp, sprawling to the ground in a heap. The other workers glanced at each other in uncertainty—they followed her lead, and lowered Iris, now resembling an obtuse hammock, down to the ground, along with the man she was cradling.
It was a curious sight: Iris was spread out like a blanket on the pavement, and she was pressed down by a somewhat overweight man.
"...Did... did I make it??" Eustace whispered, raising his head.
"I guess it worked out after all..." Iris flopped in affirmation, also raising her head in turn. "Hey, could you, uhhh... get off? You're squishing me, here..."
"Oh! Sorry, sorry, I'm..." Eustace blushed, realizing his hands were sprawled all over the girl. "Please tell me I didn't touch any-"
"Your guess is as good as mine, buddy." Iris grimaced. All she felt was pressure. Eustace acquiesced, trying to roll right off. Two of the workers helped the man to his feet.
"Hey, you okay, man? Didn't breathe in too much smoke or anything, right?" One of the workers asked Eustace.
"I think so... w-where are my cats? Eustace looked around frantically, trying to find them. He gasped, finding them huddled up underneath a streetlight, and hurried over to comfort them.
Iris groaned, peeling herself from the pavement. Her body slowly reformed its usual proportions. She rubbed the back of her neck, wincing.
"Hoo... that took a lot of concentration." Iris muttered. "Gotta work out some of the kinks a bit-"
"Iris! That was amazing!!" Debbie hurried to Iris' side, nearly bowling her semi-flat form over.
"H-hey, easy, I'm still pulling myself back together!" Iris chuckled, leaning back and allowing Debbie to prop her up. "Thanks, Debbie. You were a big help too..."
"Really? I..." Debbie thought about it for a moment, her eyes drifting to the side. "...I guess I did! I'm just glad no one got hurt..."
"Yeah, seriously. Glad there was no one else inside the apartment. One fat guy was enough for me." Iris sighed, scratching the back of her head. The sensation of her body inflating back into its proper shape felt rather nice...
...Her head perked up, picking up a faint whining sound in the distance. It was getting louder...
"Sirens. Shit." Iris stumbled to her feet. "We should go."
"Eh? B-But that's just the fire department, right?" Debbie extended her hand to Iris. "I'm sure they'd wanna talk to us and-"
"They can't be fine with masked vigilantes running about!" Iris explained curtly. "And you still got that delivery to make, right?"
"I, I guess, I..." Debbie trailed off, glancing to the alley. "...Okay, I left it by the alley. Hopefully nobody got into it..."
Debbie's expression went a little pale at the thought of losing everything she worked so hard on, and hurried along to check. Iris was right behind her, eager to change into some more discreet clothing.
"Sheesh..." Iris muttered under her breath. "This is the one time I'm itchin' to put on the school drags again." Shaking her head at the irony of it all, Iris followed Debbie into the relative security the alleyway offered.
---
"Hookay! Now it's time to act casual~"
After getting their affairs sorted, Iris and Debbie were already down a few blocks away from the scene of the accident.
"You sure you aren't playing it too cool, there?" Debbie looked over at how Iris was puffing out her chest. "You're doing a jaunty little stroll there..."
"Eh, it's not like anyone's gonna say anything." Iris leaned back, putting her hands behind her head. "Everyone's just minding their own business anyway. Most folks don't even want to go and make eye-contact, anyway."
"Hm... I mean, that's true." Debbie tilted her head thoughtfully, her mouth flattening. "Still... I'm not sure why you couldn't stay around. I'm sure the authorities would've been awfully grateful..."
"Weeeell, superheroes aren't really in it for the glory or anything. ...Usually." Iris scratched her nose. "I mean, I wouldn't mind appearing on, I dunno, a talk show or something. That'd be sick, but... gotta keep up appearances, you know?"
Iris smiled earnestly towards Debbie. Debbie tilted her head.
"Mm? That doesn't sound like the Iris I know." Debbie's eyebrow perked up. "The Iris I know is a huge showoff~"
"Whaaat?? Debbie, you wound me!" Iris gasped, exaggerating her tone. "I'm perfectly modest!"
"Right, 'perfectly'." Debbie smirked. "That's why you do all those crazy stretches at school, and brag about being good enough for the cheer squad. Of course."
"I am!" Iris laughed. "I'm too good for those preppies, that's all!" Iris brushed it off with a shrug. "Besides, mom would kill me if she saw me getting into that. She'd call it dangerous or something..."
Iris scoffed, glancing to the side of the road. Debbie blinked, looking over Iris with a blank expression.
"Then... she's probably not gonna be happy about your alter ego, huh?" Debbie questioned, a tinge of concern underlying her tone.
"Couldn't be me. I'm in detention, remember?" Iris replied sarcastically, putting her hands in her pockets. "And I'm grounded, so getting into more trouble would be the worst..."
"Eh?? Did... did something happen?" Debbie wondered aloud... but then she shook her head. "S-Sorry, I don't mean to pry, if it's too personal, I-"
"Don't worry about it." Iris shrugged. "They're just being ridiculous. Mom's got crazy house rules about stretching and shapeshifting in the house. She's a total hypocrite about it too. Whenever Black Friday rolls around, she just tosses out her whole rulebook anyway..."
Iris glowered, a dirty look crossing her face. Debbie grimaced, as silence hung over the two of them. It seemed Debbie was choosing her words carefully.
"Ah, I... I didn't realize..." Debbie was at least somewhat aware of Iris' parents. It was hard not to know about the town anomaly.
"You remember the whole track meet we had? Mom wouldn't even let me attend the medal ceremony! You saw that, right?" Iris threw her arms up, totally exasperated. "And she thinks I'm just acting out! It's ridiculous..."
"Mm..." Debbie trailed off. She tilted her head pensively. "Well... families don't always get along a hundred percent. I know my family gets into some... colourful arguments." Debbie tilted her head forward.
"Really?" Iris blinked. "Huh. Wouldn't have guessed. You don't let them walk over you, right?"
"N-Not exactly, I... I try to pick my battles." Debbie rubbed her head. "Things get stressful when business gets a little slow. I try to be patient and... try to figure out where they're coming from."
Debbie fidgeted slightly, before returning an empathetic look to Iris.
"If I think they're being unreasonable, I try to make it known. And we sit together and sort it out. But there's usually a good reason they're acting that way... if I'm patient with them, they're patient with me."
"Mm. I'm glad you guys get along so well." Iris folded her arms. "All we ever do lately is fight. It's ridiculous, like... I don't think I did anything wrong, but they keep making me out to be a bad guy. It sucks..."
"Did you ever ask your mom about her rules? I... I'd assume someone like her would try to... own her differences, or something." Debbie speculated.
"Beats me. She always gets defensive over it, and plays the authority card." Iris rolled her eyes.
"Hm... maybe you can ask her tonight?" Debbie suggested. "I'm sure if you guys just talked it out, you could settle on... on some kind of compromise."
"Gee, that'd be swell. If only Mom asked me about how I felt." Iris sighed. "Why do I have to be the bigger person, all the time? It's not fair..."
"It isn't, but... sometimes it's better to lead by example, you know?" Debbie smiled. "What goes around, comes around~"
"...Sheesh. I wish I could be as optimistic as you." Iris rubbed the back of her head. "I guess you have a point, but..."
"Oh! We're almost there!"
Debbie interrupted, hurrying along with the trolley. Iris paused, looking ahead to see where they were going.
She stopped in her tracks. Just a few blocks over, and past a pedestrian crossing, were the iron gates to Horatio Watson High School. Her high school.
The highschool that her father was presumably lurking about, looking to take her straight home. Iris grimaced, and had to think of something fast.
"Soooo... the school orders stuff from your bakery? This is a surprise...!" Iris tried to play it cool. It was somewhat unconvincing...
"Yeah! I dunno, they said a bunch of their ingredients went missing from the kitchen." Debbie explained. "This is gonna be big for us if it works out longterm~" Debbie cooed enthusiastically; she didn't even notice how shifty Iris was acting.
"That's great! Really!" Iris grinned. "I guess you can take it from here? I got... stuff to do. Miguel wanted to try this new arcade game..."
"Oh, I'll be quick!" Debbie reassured her. "Then I can join you guys, if you like. I'm pretty good at arcade games, I think!"
"Ohhhhhh, it's only a two-player game. I don't wanna leave you out of it..." Iris prodded her fingers. "Thaaaat's awkward..."
"It's okay, we can take turns. Winner stays in rules, that's okay with me~" Debbie replied breezily.
"Ummm... it's a Miguel issue, he gets nervous around... girls..." Iris' lies were getting less and less convincing.
"Eh? That doesn't make sense." Debbie was quick on the uptake. "Isn't he hanging out with you and Sarah all the time...?"
"Uh... umm..." Iris looked both ways. She glanced at her wrist, as if to check the time on a non-existent watch, and gasped. "Oh my goodness I'm running late okay talk to you later BYE!!"
Without much recourse, Iris broke off into a mad dash. Debbie paused, watching Iris kick up dust from behind.
"...Huh??" Debbie blinked. Her eyes lowered to the trolley, and groaned.
"Oh well... I got a job to do." She trudged along, dragging the trolley with her.
---
Iris slipped into a nearby alley, stopping to catch her breath. She peered around the corner, checking to see if Debbie didn't follow her.
"Phew... sorry Debbie," Iris slumped back against a brick wall. "Can't let Dad spot me and drag me home. I'm not ready to go home, not yet."
Iris folded her arms, glowering silently. "Stupid jerks. I don't need them anyway. I don't need their approval to do what I want."
Iris reaffirmed her feelings to herself, even as Debbie's advice echoed in her head. In her introspection, Iris had no one to talk to but herself. Her eyes locked onto a trash can across the alley. She sighed, left to her own devices.
She wondered if Debbie had a point. Maybe Iris could stand to be more patient about this kind of thing. She never really understood why her mother was so insistent. She just called it out as what it was: unreasonable, smothering, and borderline abusive.
Iris hugged herself. If only she could get her mother to see things her way...
Klatter klatter...
"...Huh?" Iris blinked. Did the lid of that trash can just move?" Iris wondered. She squinted, focusing her attention.
It clattered again, and then rose slightly. A sullen pairs of eyes looked back at her, pale skin obscured by a veil of darkness. Iris' mouth flattened.
"Double Double??" Iris leaned forward, making sure her eyes were tricking her. "What are you doing here?"
"Quiet. They'll hear you." Double Double shushed her, his eyes glancing from left to right.
"'They'? What's going on? ...Hey, you weren't spying on me, were you?" Iris' eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Do not be so presumptuous, the world does not turn around your singular whim." Double Double retorted. "Toil and Trouble chanced upon a concoction most foul, and their intent is to have me be party to their indulgences."
"What..." Iris rubbed her face. "I really have no idea what you goblins get up to while I'm gone, honestly. And you keep speaking in riddles."
"Maybe the smoke from the fire clouds your mind?" Double Double wondered.
"Eh? You saw that? ...Of course you saw that, you got 'eyes everywhere'." Iris gestured with extremely sarcastic finger quotes.
...A thought crossed her mind, and she placed her hands squarely on her hips. "You guys didn't have anything to do with that fire, right?"
"Please. I'm a denizen of the shadows. Violent explosions are hardly part of my toolset." Double Double scoffed. "And the gluttonous duo... arson is well above their paygrade."
"..." Iris stared, trying to figure him out. It didn't last long, and she sighed with exasperation. "Alright. I'll believe you, this time."
"By the way," Double Double piped in. "The Mistress Kamika respectfully requests your presence. She has a new assignment for you."
"...'Respectfully'?" Iris' eyebrow perked up.
"...Approximately paraphrased." Double Double coughed.
"Mm." Iris gave it some thought. She appreciated Kamika allowing her to let loose in her warehouse, but she wondered if it'd be good to stick around.
...Of course, it wasn't like Iris had anything better to do. Anything to stay as far away from home as possible, for as long as possible. And Kamika was obtuse, sure, but she respected Iris' autonomy and independence. She was kind of like a cool aunt.
It didn't take much thought for Iris to make her decision.
"Alright. I'll head right over."
