Flexible Thinking for a Modern Life: Chapter 2

Summary: A commission series for Alfalfa. Iris Fleurs, the stretchy daughter of a slime mother and a human father, tries to live her best life and feel comfortable in her own skin. Teenage rebellion ensues.

[Story Listing]

[First Chapter] 

CHAPTER 2

"...and in 1782, we can follow the burgeoning complications that arose from early corporation practices. The shift in production from farms and homes to factories made it difficult for farms, particularly the wives at home, to keep up, leading to the Cheese Revolts of 1785..."

It was history class, and Iris was already ready to throw in the towel. Most of the other teachers understood how the first day at school worked. It'd be social, everyone would introduce themselves, they'd get a sheet of paper with all the important dates. 

But not Mr. Roberts. He decided it would be better to go hard on the lesson plan on Day One. It made a decent crash course for anyone interested in the subject...

"...Ohhhhh my gooooodddd..."

...Iris definitely was not. It took every ounce of discipline she had to keep herself from nodding off for a nap. She propped her head up with her arm, just to keep her eyes on the blackboard. 

It wasn't working. The constant barrage of new information was reducing her brain to mush. 

...She realized something. She was slumping over more and more, but her arm hadn't moved. She silently glanced down to her desk. Her right arm, currently propping up her head, was flattening and deformed. Her elbow was spread out like a puddle in all directions. Her forearm up was still gripping the side of her head, but she silently stared as her head was slowly dipping, lower and lower.

"...rgh."

She grunted, adjusting her posture as she stood up straight. She tried to lower her right arm, but her palm remained affixed to her cheek, adhering to it in some way. With a scowl, she jerked a little harder, her hand peeling off. She didn't even have to look to realize that her malaise had left a palm-sized imprint on her right cheek. She sighed quietly to herself, her left hand rising to flatten the imprint out.

She hid away her arms into her lap, working with her left hand to mould her right arm back into shape. Part of her malleable body had deformed, and she had to work it like putty back into a roughly noodle-seque shape. A little bit of mental willpower would sort out the rest.

"...?"

...At least it would, until one of her fingers brushed along something strange. Some object foreign to her body. Long, narrow, a small nub protruded from her elbow. She frowned, looking down.

At a glance, it looked like someone had stabbed her arm with a pencil! But there was no blood to be seen. She didn't feel any pain. Just the mildest bit of discomfort, feeling something that didn't below. 

Of course, she realized. It got stuck again.

With a groan, she reached to pull it out. Without any fuss, it simply slide out, leaving a small, narrow hole in its place. She massaged her arm, making sure to take care of that small mishap; she didn't want any questions about any holes in her arms.

...While she had a pencil in hand, she might as well start taking notes. She glanced up to the blackboard, an eyebrow perking up in slight confusion. What was this about a cheese shortage now? Artificial scarcity?? 

...Maybe she zonked out longer than she expected, the teacher jumped ahead thirty years. She was put back together again, at least. Maybe she could cop notes from one of her friends?

She glanced towards the back of the class for Sarah. She was usually diligent about balancing her grades and her athletic life. Today, it looks like she'd given up long ago with trying to keep up with the lecture. She simply had an audio recording device on her desk.

Iris wondered about that. The teacher was going at a blistering pace. Probably too fast for the human hand.

"Pssst. Iris! You're owling again!"

"...Huh?"

Iris blinked. Miguel had whispered to her from the next desk over, helpfully reminding her that she had turned her head a solid 180 degrees. Actually, a little more than that.

"Crap." Iris turned her head to Miguel. "Thanks for reminding me, is that bet-"

"Turn the other way, dingus!"

Oops, now it was around 270 degrees. A little more,and it would've been a full rotation. Iris hadn't figured out the limit of that particular With a quiet yelp, Iris whipped her head back in shape, catching the frantic spinning head with her hand. Her eyes glanced around to see if anyone saw that.

...Looks like nobody saw. Sarah glanced up for a second, before returning to her shorthand note-taking. Iris rubbed the back of her neck as she turned back to Miguel.

"Now I really owe you... Mom'd kill me if I gave myself away so easy." Iris sighed.

"Guess so. Though, really, if you think about it, I just went and... saved your neck?"

Miguel had the biggest, shit-eating-est grin on his face as he uttered that. Iris was not at all impressed. 

Thump.

Miguel winced, trying to stifle a yelp of pain. Iris had stomped on his foot from five feet away, quietly extending her leg to close the gap.

"C'mooon, Eye, that was funny..." Miguel groaned.

"You deserved that." Iris scoffed. She turned back to her notes, hoping to find a place to start with her note-taking. 

"...Still, thanks. For... looking out for me." Iris muttered.

"Anytime." Miguel replied. "...Can I get your notes after class?"

"I just started." Iris admitted sheepishly.

"...Oof. We're screwed." Miguel could only laugh at their predicament. 

---

All things considered, the first day of school was rather uneventful for Iris. She barely had any homework to take care of, as a matter of fact! Escaping the shackles of the public school system, at least temporarily, was a great relief to Iris.

She was making a stop in front of her locker. She figured she'd find Sarah and Miguel outside the front gates, and they could all get together and-

"Hey Iris."

"AH!"

A normal person would've been so shocked that they end up jumping three feet in the air. Iris was... not terribly different in attitude, at least; she simply grew three feet tall, and then shrank down just as quickly. A distinctive boing accompanied her panicked reaction. 

Slamming her locker, she pivoted to find Sarah behind her. Waaay too close for comfort. 

"...O-oh, shit, Sarah, you scared me... don't sneak up on me like that." Iris put a hand over her chest, taking in a breath.

"Oh. I didn't mean to scare you." Sarah uttered nonchalantly. "Maybe I should use a formal greeting. 'Hello Iris'?"

"That's not it, just... y-you're a little close, can you back up a bit?" Iris gestured accordingly with her hand.

"Oooooh, sorry." Sarah took a single, exaggerated step back. "I just thought you were used to it by now."

"I was. Then summer break happened, so... just gimme a few months at it." Iris rubbed the back of her neck. "What'd you get up to?"

"I signed up for a bunch of sports teams. Field hockey, ice hockey, air hockey, hardcore shuffleboard." Sarah rattled them off with robotic precision.

"...Is the last one a real club??" Iris' mouth flattened. She didn't want to believe it, but Sarah wasn't one to joke around.

"Yeah. Surprised me too. You see Miguel recently?" Sarah tilted her head, her red eyes boring into Iris. 

"Not since history class..." Iris poked her fingers together.

"Mm. He's a tricky ricky. Gotta keep an eye on him." Sarah looked around. 

"Aww, you know he's just having fun. It's not like he'd do anything bad, like steal something-"

Iris could hardly finish her thought before a hand flashed in front of her face. Iris staggered back into her locker; Sarah seemed unphased.

"GOT YOUR NOOOOSE!~"

Miguel was in and out in a flash, spinning around to face the two of them. He had a cheeky grin that spread across his entire face, giggling like an absolute ninny.

"Miguel! You shouldn't ambush someone like... that? ...Huh?"

Iris blinked. Something was off. Why did she suddenly sound so... nasally??

Sarah's eyes darted from Miguel's clenched fist, and then back to Sarah's face.

"...snrkt."

Sarah snorted, clearly amused. Miguel's eyes lit right up - it was difficult to get any kind of reaction out of Sarah!

Iris's eyebrows furrowed, a hand raising to feel her face. She felt around cautiously, but confirmed the fact relatively quickly:

Miguel had, quite literally, gotten her nose. What remained was a flat stretch of real-estate - she couldn't feel the bridge of her nose, the tip of her nose... any part of the nose, really!

...She did feel Miguel's hand, though. In the back of her mind, that kind of weirded her out, but moreover, she was pissed.

"Miguel! Gimme that!" Iris whined, reaching for Miguel's hand. 

"Ah ah ah!~" Miguel taunted her, keeping it just out of reach. Well, apparently just out of reach. Iris briefly flirted with the idea of letting loose on the lad, tying him up in a flurry of limbs, but she didn't want to bring that kind of attention to herself.

But she was considering it, between Miguel's cackling. And also, for some reason, Iris could smell his palms. They smelled... nice. Like, pine tree soap. 

"Oof"!

Sarah chopped Miguel in the back, causing him to lose his grip on Iris' disembodied nose. With quick reflexes, Iris caught it in both of her hands.

"Gotcha! Thanks a bunch, Sarah!" Iris opened her locker, hunching over to look in the mirror.

"No biggie." Sarah nodded.

"Et tu, Sarah!?" Miguel spun around to her, a shocked expression on his face. "I thought you were in on the joke!"

"I was. It got old." Sarah shrugged, putting her hands in her coat pockets. 

"True genius is never appreciated in its time..." Miguel shook his head sadly.

"It's juvenile, is what it is..." Iris muttered, carefully shaping her nose back into the cute little shape it had always been. With another mental nod, it did the rest. 

"...Isshu!" Iris covered her nose for a sneeze, before looking over to face her friends. 

"Heyyy! Great nose job! Who's your plastic surgeon?" Miguel beamed with a cheeky grin. 

"Oh, you needed work done? Lemme help!" Iris responded with a positive, go-getting attitude...

Doink.

"Owww!" 

...Before flicking Miguel right on the tip of his nose. Sarah watched the entire exchange with a nonplussed expression.

"You deserved that." She commented, nodding with approval.

"Yeaaaah..." Miguel sighed. 

Iris put her hands on her hips, frowning disapprovingly. "What were you thinking!? If someone saw me like... like that!?"

"I don't think anyone did. Everyone's way eager to get out of school." Sarah commented with a cursory glance. She was met with an annoyed glare from Iris. It was maybe her best attempt at being intimidating, between the grit teeth, the look of icy death, and the subtle way she grew an extra half a foot in height.

...Sarah simply responded with a shrug. And that was enough for Iris, who sighed in response.

"Oh, hey, while you guys are all here, I saw this poster." Sarah reached into her backpack. She unfurled it and presented it like it was a royal proclamation. 

"...Race for a Cure?" Iris tilted her head. The poster prominently featured the racetrack near the back of the school.

"Yeah. For cancer research. They got a bunch of things going on for track and field." Sarah explained. "There's a relay race too, and I wanna go for it. You guys want in?"

Iris and Miguel glanced at each other. It was a good cause, but... they knew what Sarah was like during training. And the both of them had their doubts. 

"I dunno, Sarah, I... don't really do athletics well. Cuz of my... condition." Iris lowered her head. 

"Really? Hm. Guess that makes sense.." Sarah replied, unphased.

"Y-yeah. B-but I could get my family to sponsor your team! You're reeeeeally good, Sarah, I bet you'd clean right up!"

"Well, maybe. I don't skip leg day." Sarah nodded, turning to Miguel. "How 'bout you, buddy?"

"Well, uh... it's like this. The only track I wanna be anywhere near is a laugh track! Eh? Ehh??"

Miguel desperately hoped for any kind of adulation from his peers. Hoping to met with cheers.

Instead, someone tossed a cupcake at his face from down the hall. It splattered all over his face.

"OH COME ON, THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR! ...Wait, wait a sec... oh, this frosting is spot on...!"

"It's a good thing I came prepared. I figured you idiots would be congregating together."

A familiar, haughty voice announced its presence across the hallway, and the crowds parted, allowing her to approach the trio. She had half a baker's dozen of custom-made cupcakes at the ready. 

"...Sherry Windermayer." Iris scowled. 

And, as usual, Sherry had a small army attached to her hip. Miguel was the only one who seemed intimidated by the raw show of affluence.

"Iris Fleurs! And her flying circus! How quaint!~" Sherry cackled. "I wanted to congratulate you on surviving your first day at my school!~"

"Sweet! Thanks for the cupcakes!" Miguel praised Sherry, raising his up on high. He had a thin layer of frosting all over his cheeks.

"...Holy shit. Wipe your face, you disgusting roach." Sherry scoffed. For that moment, her cool demeanour was derailed quite thoroughly. She recovered quickly, turning her attention back to Iris. 

"Sooooo! A little birdie told me that your little posse's interested in the relay!~" Sherry leaned over, into Iris' face.

"I don't know how you got wind of that." Iris stood her ground.

"Honey, I hear about everything that goes on in these halls. I'm like an eagle, flying above everything..."

"Or a bat hanging from the ceiling." Iris muttered.

"Bats do have really good hearing." Sarah chimed in.

Sherry blinked. "...Out of all the inane, stupid things..." Sherry shook her head, collecting herself. She sneered at Iris once more. 

"Well. I for one think it would be a fantastic idea! It's for a good cause... and, oh, wouldn't it be an absolute delight to see Iris running track!~"

"...If you were interested in that sort of thing, you could just ask her out-"

"SHUT UP MIGUEL." Both Iris and Sherry shot him down in a flash. He was rather surprised.

"...It's okay for girls to love girls..." He muttered to himself. Sarah was sure to give him a pat on the back.

"...What do you mean by that, Sherry?" Iris inquired with a tilt of her head. 

"Ohhhh, I've seen you in gym class. You've positively disgusting!~" Sherry smirked. "Sweatier than the most portulant mouth breathers in the school. It's like watching an oversized gym sock get to work."

Iris frowned. Sherry wasn't entirely wrong about her hygiene problem, but... it wasn't quite that simple. 

"Oh, what a sight for school pride for our entire student body! I'm sure you and your friends would delight in entertaining our friends and faculty! The circus can come to perform for all ages!" She leered over Miguel. "Isn't that right, Perrera? It's your time to shine, like the rodeo clown you always meant to be!~"

"...I mean, it's a career choice, but... it's a bit too physical for my taste." Miguel muttered to himself.

"...Oh, and we can't forget Thibault. The transfer student who couldn't make the cut at her old school! Think you can come down and expect a free ride? Ohhh, I hope you enjoy a loooooong career, coming up short every single time."

"You don't even play hockey." Sarah stated matter-of-factually.

"...Actually, I'm warming up to this idea." Iris stepped between Sarah and Sherry.

"...Oh? Does little miss sweat stain have something to say?? You have my attention!~" Sherry leaned forward.

"Yeah. Yeah we'll enter the relay race. And when we do, you're gonna be sorry you went and kicked the bee's nest." Iris stood proud, speaking with authority.

"...We are?" Miguel queried, the colour draining from his face. 

"Hell yeah. I'm in." Sarah nodded with a smile.

"...You guys serious?" Sherry blinked. Iris looked like she could kill a man with that look, and Sarah wasn't far off. Miguel would probably be dead, but hey, at least the girls came out to play.

Sherry surveyed the bunch of them. "...Ohoho. This is rich. Alright, alright, I can gel with this false sense of bravado thing here." She sneered, patting Iris' head. "I'll enjoy crushing you under my heel in front of eeeeeeveryone."

"Don't. Touch me." Iris growled. It was enough for Sherry to back off, like she had angered a small dog. 

"Besides, the race is for charity. We're raising money for a good cause." Sarah explained.

"Yeah! We're gonna win, like, a million marks! And then we'll donate it to the sick kids!" Miguel desperately wanted to say literally the first thing that came to mind.

"...That is not at all how it works Perrera, but okay, cool. It's a date." Sherry flourished her hair, turning her back towards the trio. "Peace out, losers!"

Iris watched Sherry and her annoying posse of cronies saunter off, laughing all the way. She visibly relaxed when the three of them were alone again. 

"...Well. That's a thing that's happening now." Iris sighed, rubbing her arm.

"Hey, guys, I have a feeling... you think she might have a crush on me?" Miguel asked, an innocent, crushingly optimistic look in his eyes.

"Very doubtful." Sarah muttered. "Still though, glad we're doing this. Let's do our best."

"That's not enough." Iris scowled. "We have to destroy them."

"Works for me. You do any running over the summer?" Sarah asked. 

"...Nnnnnnnope." Iris stirred.

"...Mm. You do know Sherry's a track star, right?"

"Painfully aware." Iris groaned. 

"...Well then." Sarah blinked. "I guess we got our work cut out for us."

The way Sarah was looking them over, she was already considering exactly what kind of regimen Iris and Miguel needed. They exchanged nervous looks.

"...sigh..." Iris and Miguel sighed in unison. 

"Noooo, don't do that." Sarah pointed her finger. "Stamina running is all about oxygen management. We'll work on breathing exercises, but don't waste air."

Yup, kind of like that. They groaned instead.

"Ughhhhhh..."

"There we go. Much better. See, we're making progress~"

Sarah had a good feeling about this! She was probably the only one of them that did, but hey, good vibes.

[Next Chapter]