An EVA Christmas Story (Patreon Exclusive)

An EVA Christmas Story
By FC Punk

“Keep putting those decorations up Shinji, this is going to be the best Christmas ever!” Misato cheered while staggering around, a beer in her hand. It seemed like around this time Misato got even drunker than usual. A drunk Misato  Shinji was used to, but the alcoholism had been kicked up a notch as December rolled in. Misato’s slight beer belly was now a certified gut as it jiggled under a t-shirt that was a size too small, bouncing away. Misato leaned on the wall, her fleshy hip pressed into it and her once tight ass shook loosy in her jean shorts..

“I don’t know why we have to celebrate this, last month we celebrated Thanksgiving. And we only did that for a day, we’ve been doing this for weeks!” Shinji complained, putting the bulbs onto the plastic tree,

“Stop complaining! First of all we did that to honor my American heritage, you dunkoff” Asuka barked while also dressing the fake tree, “And second off, this is an important holdover from Pre-Second Impact, it’s about doing nice things for others, so dress up this tree!”

“But I don’t understand, I’ve been nice all year long.”

“And that’s why on Christmas Eve,” Misato paused to take long swigs of her beer. After she was done she belched and crunched the can, throwing it aside.

“Hey, don't just throw them!” Shinji tried desperately to pick up the can, taking it to the can collection before returning to the tree. “You see Shinji, that's why you’re awesome you clean up after me! Anyways, on Christmas Eve Santa Claus will come by and drop presents under this tree for you since you’ve been good all year!”

“Santa Claus?”

“Mein Gott, you are ignorant Shinji. You’ve been way, way too sheltered, it’s no wonder you and the doll get along so well! Santa Claus! Big fat guy that comes down the chimney and brings us presents?”

“A big fat guy? Presents? That's ridiculous! The only fat thing here is your gut Asuka!” Shinji effeminately whined, poking Asuka’s bulging stomach that was pushing out her yellow sundress. Asuka grew red, yelling “You JERK! You’re one to talk, tubby tits! Look at how big those things are! I think they’re almost as big as my boobs, fat boy!” Asuka went and jiggled the set of moobs that were resting on Shinji’s chest.

“Hey! Stop that!” Shinji whined, his belly jiggling under his blue shirt which hugged his tubby figure.

“Dicke Titten!  Dicke Titten!”

“H-Hey stop that Asuka!” Shinji whined while his substantial moobs sloshed under Asuka’s chubby hands.

“ENOUGH! ENOUGH!” Misato drunkenly slurred, causing the eighteen year olds to stop what they were doing.

“Shame on you two,” Misato slurred while cracking open another beer at 9:49 in the morning, “Fighting on Christmas Eve, that's no way to behave. I understand there’s a generation gap between us, and you might not understand the rituals and traditions, but this is important to ME so just play along! Eat your cake Shinji! This is a time to be merry!”

Shinji looked down at the cake slice and sighed, lifting it up and forking a bite into his mouth. “You too Asuka!” Asuka didn’t have to be told twice, “This is fun! For 30 days we just let ourselves go!”

“That's another thing, why would getting fat be any good? Look at us!” Shinji complained, “It’s going to take a long time to lose this.”

“Duh! That's what New Years is all about, we’ll gorge, gorge, gorge and then start our diets on New Year's Day! That's how it goes, right Misato?”

“Pretty much, it’s really fun you gotta admit. It’s called being jolly Shinji so don’t be a Grinch!”

“What’s a Grinch?”

“Oh you’re just so cute!” Misato drunkenly slurred and groped Shinji’s flabby gut, squeezing his soft flesh Shinji effeminately yipped in shock, “M-Misato!”

“Embrace your belly full of jelly Shinji!” Misato giggled, her breath reeking of booze, and gave Shinji’s gut a good shake which sent himself jiggling up to his moobs.

“Besides, it looks good on ya! I kinda like it, it’s you.”

Asuka laughed, “So stop complaining and get back to this tree! We have to get dinner going, we have guests! We have Ritsuko and Maya and the doll coming over!”

Misato giggled before stumbling off to the couch where she fell back on it, drinking more. “It’s like I said, if you want to eat cake for breakfast and drink lots and lots of beer this is the time of year to do it!”

Shinji sighed and continued to deck the tree.

====

The doorbell rang and Shinji to went answer it, revealing Ritsuko, Maya, and Rei.

“Come in everyone,” Shinji smiled and led Ritsuko to the main room where she rolled her eyes at the sight before her of Misato stumbling over and glomping herself onto Ritsuko. “Thanks so much for coming Ritsipoo!” Misato baby talked Ritsuko while hugging onto her.

“Really ramping up the insanity this year I see,” Ritsuko tried to ignore the beer breath and directed Misato to sit down, saying, “It was really nice of you to put together this casual Christmas event Shinji.”

Shinji put pies and cakes and christmas cookies and lots of sweet treats on the table, “It was Misato’s idea, she wanted to have the best Christmas ever. So she told us to let go this month, I’ve been making so many more cakes and pies and baked goods that I guess we made pigs of ourselves.”

Ritsuko nodded, “It’s to be expected. The food these days are inherently high calorie dense, in order to better feed a starving world population in the post Second Impact world.” Maya added, “It truly is a wonder of science how we could all bounce back like that, senpai.”

At that moment Asuka came waddling in, announcing her arrival with her gut entering the room first. “Here I am!” Asuka waved her arms up in the air, the drooping excess fat on her arms wobbling. Her yellow dress continued to hug Asuka’s fat gut and her legs were bloated and round. She was also sporting a double chin. Ritsuko smirked, “Of course, too much of the food made now will result in extreme weight gain if you’re overindulgent. Rations and the like keep any obesity crisis in check, Luckily for us we happen to be above the law.”

“Snicker all you want Ritsuko,” Asuka sat down at the table and her thighs and butt spread out under her, “This is just another example of my superiority, I’m the best even at getting fat!”

“You are certainly proving that much,” Ritsuko snarked, with Maya asking concerningly “Will you be able to lose all that weight?” Asuka laughed and cockily brushed her red hair with her hand nonchalently, “I’ll be the one with the most weight loss.” Ritsuko watched Asuka reach for more cake while she said that and commented “Youth does help a lot. With that metabolism you’ll probably be back to normal by March at the earliest.”

Rei watched in silence as Asuka squirted whipped cream on her cake. Asuka noticed this and snapped “What are you looking at!”

“You’re being a pig,”

“Shut your mouth! I’m keeping with tradition, you bitch!” Asuka angerly barked which made Ritsuko raise an eyebrow.

“Tradition?”

Asuka nodded, explaining “Misato says it’s tradition to let yourself go and gain a lot of weight for Christmas.”

“Does she now? I don’t remember gluttony being part of the Christmas tradition, Misato.”

Misato was uneasy even as she sat, putting the tip of her beer to her mouth she drank and said, “It can be a tradition!”

Shinji shook his head, “I still don’t understand this holiday. Whats the true meanng of Christmas?”

“The birth of a God,”

Everyone looked at Rei while Ritsuko sipped her glass of wine and said “The true meaning of Christmas is a philisophical question, Christmas means different things to different people. In my opinion the true meaning of Christmas is whatever meaning you give it. Do you understand Shinji?”

Shinji shook his head, “I don’t think I’m ever going to understand Christmas.”

===========

That night Shinji tossed and turned in bed. Everyone overindulged that night and Asuka had made a serious dent in the food. There were no leftovers, they were in Asuka’s bloated gut as she slept on the couch.

Shinji suddenly heard a noise and he groaned. It was way too late in the early morning for this. He got up and wondered through the dark apartment before he saw Misato still stumbling around, this time with two presents in her hand.

“M-Misato?” Shinji asked, rubbing his eys.

Misato turned and giggled. “Oh! Hehehe, you’re so naughty catching Santa.” Misato staggered over, unbalanced. She had been drinking so much she often went crashed and then woke up, only to drink again, as was the case now.

“Don’t tell anyone, okay Shinji?” Misato slurred, putting the presents under the tree.

“I won’t Misato, just please lay down.”

Misato giggled and pulled Shinji in, hugging him, “Mmm Shinji you’re so good.”

“M-Misato I-!” Shinji groaned as Misato drunkenly started to assault his face with kisses. Shinji groaned and tried to bear Misato’s awful boozy breath, before his lips were covered by Misato’s. “Mmmmph!”

Misato broke the kiss and gigggled, “I told you there’d be something good for being a good boy.” With one fell swoop Misato pulled Shinji’s shorts down and Shinji gasped, his penis becoming hard on instinct. Misato grasped his length and put her mouth over it.

“H-hah!” Shinji moaned and panted, looking up at the ceiling as Misato had his way with him. “Ah! Oh!” Shinji moaned in pleasure, Misato’s mouth felt so warm and wet and before he knew it he had ejaculated into it,

“Mmm!” Misato licked her lips upon swallowing. “That was pretty fun. I love fat boys like you…” Misato lowered her head and laid face first on the floor, falling back into a drunken coma. Shinji looked down at his still hard cock and quickly pulled his shorts back up and retreated to his room, hoping to repress this incident for a long time to come.

The next morning Asuka saw the sleeping woman and poked her with her toe.

“Is she dead?”

“Don’t touch her. Just let her sleep.” Shinji groaned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and feeling ashamed of what happened last night.

“Well, looks like Misato got us gifts,” Asuka checked the tree, “What does it say…from Santa? How old does Misato think we are?”

“It’s just her thing, just be glad this is over now. Anyways, I got you this.”

Shinji handed Asuka a box that Asuka opened to find pairs of socks.

“Oh wow, so thoughtful. Socks. Thats so you, a nice dull present,” Asuka rolled her eyes as she gave Shinji his.

Shinji was shocked at how light it was. He unwrapped it and opened it to find it was empty.

“Asuka, there’s nothing in here!”

“Of course there’s nothing! Like I was ever going to get YOU a gift!”

Shinji groaned in annoyance and looked down at Misato.

Passed out on the floor Misato had a smile, knowing she had the best Christmas ever.

The End