Wage Slave Rebellion

Wage Slave Rebellion
By FC Punk

Oh God, she's coming back in. Mark is on his break too. Damn it, I don't want to deal with fatty. Look at her, you can just tell she's a bitch.

She drives a minivan and she's usually here with her three kids ordering all this garbage. She's also rude and doesn't tip, nor does she even use token niceties like, you know, please and thank you.

That haircut. That stupid haircut. Short in the back, long in the front like a retarded mullet. It makes her face look so fat with her double chin and flabby cheeks.

That's another thing too, she is a complete fatty. Her huge thighs and fat ass fill her crapris and her fat  legs are sticking out of them. Her stomach is pushing out her front and I have no idea if she's fat or just really pregnant. But when I see those tan flabby bingo wings she calls arms wobble with every movement she makes I'm reminded that this tubby is tubby for a reason.

I don't even know her name. Could be Karen for all I know.

I put on a smile, trying my best to waver the coming storm.

"Oh hey, you're back! Is there anything we can do?"

"I want to speak to the manager, now!"

Of fucking course. God, she is such a rude bitch.

"Sorry she's out right now, is there anything I can do?"

Whoa, what the hell? Did she just slam her palm on the counter? I was trying my best to help and she's throwing a temper tantrum.

"You didn't put whipped cream in my coffee! I am a regular customer and I order the same thing every time, you should know better. I want a new coffee with whipped cream and I want it now."

Whipped cream?

That's what this is all about?

"Like you need it, tubby."

Oh no.

It just slipped out, I didn't mean to say that out loud. Or maybe I did. In any case she looks shocked, horrified by what I just let slip.

Well, I'm fucked. Might as well just quit now before I'm officially fired.

"What did you just say!"

"You heard me."

"How dare you!"

"How dare I? How dare you! You're always coming here and treating us like shit! So Andrew or Mark forgot your precious whipped cream, so what! Human error is a thing, there's no need to be a complete cunt. Besides,"

I hop over the counter, landing next to her. She is completely speechless.

"It's not like you need the stuff. Seriously, you get whipped cream on every order? No wonder you're fat as a cow."

She scowled at me, not saying a word, perhaps out of sheer shock. She was so mad she could barely contain it. I peered at my former co-workers from behind the counter, I can tell they were approving of this by how they were looking. I continued my verbal assault.

"Seriously you're a complete porkster. Do you just go drive thru hopping? It's the only way you could be such a fatty."

I was enjoying myself now. I'd been pushed around by stupid rude customers for so long I was going to vent.

"You do know you waddle, right? You've gotta notice, it's disgusting see you shuffle from side to side because of those cream cheese thighs. It's what comes from ordering bagels every morning, you are what you eat."

I continue my tirade

"You think you're better than everyone else, but really you're just fatter than everyone else. You should be ashamed of yourself, living so large while others have little or nothing."

I took off my apron, "Someone else can get your coffee for you, I quit."

I tossed the apron behind the counter and walk out the door.

That felt good. She needed to be fat shamed and taken down a peg. So I'm out of one job, that's not too bad, at least I still have one other one.

Easy come, easy go I guess.