Sleight of Hand
Added 2019-08-30 05:17:59 +0000 UTCYou're the best kept secret I've ever known
Coming undone at the lies you have sewn
You just wanted somebody to bleed for you
For everybody you thought to be deceiving you
Trustless to that bleeder
Who needed you
Torn open the vessel, now you're all
alone
Cause you've broken something you no
Longer own.
Paranoia has corrupted your soul straight through
Studying me to find integrity in you
With your knife at my neck, you beg me not to die
I can see you're lost somewhere in between your eyes
And they're no genuine shade of blue,
Forbidding me do just what they're waiting for me to.
Oh, what have I done, my love, my friend?
I never should have invited you in
The arms I once trusted are strangling me
As you watch from outside, starving and empty
And all those poisoned words you said,
Putrid and festering inside of my head
Though I've bid you goodbye, this pain will not end
This love is a wound we cannot mend.
-mmd 2010
I found this scrap of a song I wrote almost a decade ago in the midst of ending an abusive relationship. Often when I find poetry from years ago, I cringe at how naive, overly sentimental, or just plain bad the writing is. But sometimes, as with this work, my younger self surprises me. In any case, I'm always glad I saved it. It's healing to reprocess past experiences and see how far I have come in life. It's even fun to see how drastically different my handwriting is in just a few years.
As I find more, I will polish and share with you here.
