Transitions
Added 2018-12-05 07:05:30 +0000 UTC
First and foremost, I just want to say thanks to all of you for following my journey into the month of December. Your support is unspeakably tremendous.
Secondly, I apologize for my absence, and further, I apologize for my overall lack of eloquence in my defense. However, I do promise to bolster rewards for my patrons once this transition reaches a natural completion.
Two days ago, we began hospice care for my grandfather, as he took a very considerable decline this week. After 84 (and a half!) years of exhibiting incredible physical tenacity and spiritual determination, his body is actively dying, and his spirit has been doing quite a bit of traveling during "dream states." At times, he seems very sedate, and at peace. Other times, he seems very confused and anxious. His nurses are keeping him well medicated so that he experiences as little pain and anxiety as possible. My hope is that he makes amends with this life during that unconscious work, and can make a comfortable transition.
Every time he drifts off, he seems to go farther and farther from this reality, but he has not forgotten who I am. Most importantly, he always makes sure to end every exchange with reassuring expressions such as, "You're the best in the world; I love you more than anybody in the whole world, don't ever let anybody tell you any different." As heart aching as it is, I feel so fulfilled to know that, despite my short comings, I have done my very best for my very favorite person.
This continues to be one of the most (if not the single most) difficult experiences of my adult life. My grandfather has been the single most constant, steadfast, and unwavering paternal force of unconditional love in my life; And as grateful as I am to reciprocate that love during the most crucial and beautiful phase of his life, I am, at the same time, experiencing a devastating loss.
I will be maintaining my Patreon feed as often as possible, but please bear with me, as I will not be the most communicative in the coming weeks. I am loving, nurturing, grieving, and letting go.
Happiest of holidays to you all, and thank you again for the support.
