COMPASS OF TRUE LOVE - CHAPTER 18

Chapter 18: Why do I get my own chapter? Are you stupid? So annoying…

-Liana-

I woke up in my little bed, in my little room, all the way at the top of the palace. Isolated from the rest of the world, except for Rosie of course. At least I had my best friend with me all the time. Dad gave her to me for my sixth birthday. I’d wanted a pet dragon and dad said he tried his best to get one, but they’ve become super rare. Instead, he gave me Rosie. Apparently, she was created by a dragon and dad had to make a super special deal so I could have her.

Of course, I’m a little older now, so I know that was just some story he told me to cheer me up. That didn’t change anything about how I felt, though. Rosie was everything to me. I spent most of my day cooped up in here and without her I’d probably have lost my marbles a long time ago.

Besides her I only get to see dad once a day for dinner and master Viruviel visited me for magic lessons twice a week. Of course there were also the maids, but they were scared of me. They always did their work as quickly as they could and ran away again. I couldn’t blame them though. I was a monster. If I wasn’t heir to the throne I’d have been abandoned long ago, I was sure. Dad still tried to love me, at least. It was obvious he was scared as well though. Aside from that the only day I was ever let out of my room was my birthday. That’s when there were countless events for me to attend. Noble hands to shake, banquets to sit around at, random boys I never met to dance with so their parents can coo over us. Regular princess stuff, like in the stories. Only to put the little monster back in her cage the day after.

Before you go and say: ‘No you’re not a monster! You’re just a little girl!’ You should know why I am so terrible. You see, learning magic is something anyone can do. It’s a long and dour process; I spent a lot of time with master Viruviel doing just that and today I’m supposed to join the Academy of Applied Magics to do even more of that. But the vast majority of my magic wasn’t taught. I was born with it.

My cousins always made sure to remind me on my birthday that I didn’t even wait a day to take my first life. Half-Elf births are always risky, because elves and humans are different species. Elves came from the fey and humans came from the dwarves. It’s like putting together a cat and a dog.

When my mother died giving birth to me, that was the excuse my family gave to the rest of the realm. I don’t know how my cousins found out, but some day they told me what really happened. When I was born, I came out with a surge of magic and murdered both my mother and the midwife in an inferno so hot, the room had scorch marks to this day.

I was locked up in the top floor of the palace from that day on. My magic had been too much out of control, too tied to my emotions. When I was sad, I was clouded in darkness, when I was stressed, I splintered the wood around me and when I was angry… I engulfed the room in flame.

I accidentally hurt the maids attending me on a regular basis. Cuts, burns and broken bones, the whole palate. By the time I had some semblance of control over my chaos, the entire palace was already terrified of me.

Tomorrow would be different though. Today I’ll celebrate my birthday, like every other birthday, doing all the things princesses do. But I’ll also watch a tournament. And at the end of the tournament, I will become a student of the academy. No longer trapped in my room. No longer surrounded by scared maids and terrified servants. Tomorrow I will have my own dorm room and I will attend my first classes as a blank slate.

I cuddled up against Rosie and gave her a little kiss on her fuzzy head. “Tomorrow we’ll finally get out of here,” I whispered to my best friend. The cute rabbit nuzzled up against me and squeaked softly.

When the sun finally came up, I was quickly woken by a terrified maid. Another one came by shortly after to give me a bath and dress me up in a black frilly gown. Then a third one brushed my blackish-blue hair and led me downstairs to the great hall. Rosie had to remain upstairs.

Dad was already waiting in front of the large oaken doors to congratulate me. A servant came over with a large velvet box. Dad opened it and took my diadem out and placed it on my head. It should be such a special day to me, but it was the exact same thing as the last couple of years. Yes, in a way it was special because it was at least different to all the other days in the year, but the only good part was getting out of my room for once. I didn’t really care for the other princess stuff. Especially not interacting with a bunch of nobles I didn’t know and especially not interacting with the nobles I did know: My extended family.

They had been here a couple of days already of course. The tables to the left and to the right were filled with people I barely knew, if at all, but the large, raised table at the end was filled with people I’d really like to know less.

Uncle Elroy was actually older than my father, but on my grandfather’s deathbed he proclaimed dad the heir. Dad was not a strong man like Elroy. Dad was not brave and fearless like Elroy. But dad was always kind or at least tried to be. And he was good at talking with people, finding connections, bridges, all that diplomacy stuff. As heir, I was obviously taught a bunch of that, too, mostly by master Viruviel, but I wasn’t very good at it.

Next to Elroy was my aunt Talah. She was a Redfort, the royal house of Arang and she was a strong warrior in her own right. I liked her the most out of all my extended family.

Next to her were my cousins, lined up by age. Monique was sixteen and she hated me, Damond was thirteen and he followed along with whatever Monique did. Matthieu was eleven and didn’t talk much. Celeste was eight and acted more like a princess than me, despite not being one. Lastly, Yvette was five and she was a crybaby.

Aunt Neima was older than both Elroy and my dad Kevin. She married emperor Erothor of Thengel, but his imperial majesty never attended my birthdays. At least the twins showed up; Seline and Aespher were seven years old. Seline was the well-mannered one, Aespher was the chaotic one. They had three older siblings, but I guess they didn’t come along this time.

Dad paraded me around the room. There were lots of handshakes and awkward hugs. Monique stuck her tongue out to me, Damond followed suit, because of course he did. Then we finally sat down and started breakfast.

*****

It was midday when the tournament finally started. Us nobles were standing on the wooden balconies that ran in a ring around each level of the palace. Me and dad were on the balcony of the royal quarter and the rest of my family was next to us.

The headmistress of the Academy said some things and the duels began. To be honest I barely paid attention. I spent all my life trying to control my magic so I didn’t hurt anyone anymore and now I was watching a bunch of trained mages using magic specifically to hurt each other.

The duels went on until it was nearly sunset. Most of the competitors were injured at some point, but only one of them was in critical condition. All in all it felt like a huge waste of time and energy and I wasn’t the least bit happy that all these wounds were caused in my name. This was my tournament after all.

In the end two elven mages duked it out, which came as a surprise to no one ever. I tried to pay a little more attention to the finale, because it felt a little important and I was sure I’d have to shake hands with the victor or something. Except, it was basically impossible to tell what was happening. I couldn’t even see the competitors outside of when they were walking to their positions in the beginning.

I activated my magic sight in hopes of getting a clearer image, but even then, it was just a giant mass of shapes and colours. Elemental magic here, spectral magic there, a couple enchantments and conjurations were mixed in between.

Just when I thought the fight would never end, it suddenly stopped. The white-haired elven woman was unconscious on the ground and the black-haired elven man was proudly taking in the cheers of the crowd. The magic in the arena settled down and I had a much harder time picking up on the different types, although I could tell that the elven woman was under the effect of some type of magic that I didn’t know yet. I was pretty sure I could tell apart all kinds of magic by now, so encountering an entirely new type of magic scared me a little. I gathered the elves still kept some of their magical secrets hidden away from us lowly humans.

After the crowd had finally settled down the elf got to name his prize, a scroll of true scry. It wasn’t hard to tell why that particular spell was kept under lock and key. Being able to scry on anyone and any place with no limitations whatsoever was incredibly dangerous, especially to the nobility. But it wasn’t like some random elf was going to mess around with human affairs, most likely he’d just spy on other elven archmages to uncover their magical secrets or something. I couldn’t care less.

Sadly, I had to at least pretend to care for a while longer. Us nobles moved away from the balconies and into the grand hall of the palace where I should meet this elf himself. Congratulate him, do the whole princess spiel. Then there would be a banquet and I’d get to sit down in between my dad and my horrible cousin. I could feel Monique glaring at me the moment I entered the hall. I just hoped she would hold back a little with dad right next to me.

The black-haired elf, Lord Aran Maranwe, as I found out when I had to shake his hand, got to sit at the high table as well. He was telling tales of the Isles of the Immortal and did a bunch of random magic tricks that got everyone’s attention, luckily Monique’s as well.

I was still a little scared of him ever since I felt that unknown magic and the way his blue and green heterochrome eyes were staring at me every now and then made me really uncomfortable. I could swear he was even smirking a little every now and then. Maybe he knew about my past, about what I did to my mother. He probably did and he thought I was pathetic for not having control over my magic. Except I did, now at least. More or less. I still got unstable when I was emotional, but Viruviel made sure I always pushed down all my feelings to not let them take control.

About two hours passed and the feast was in full swing now. Lord Maranwe was persuaded to do another magic show and he followed through by darkening the ceiling of the hall and putting little stars into the darkness. All the guests were in awe, but only because they didn’t know how easy that stuff actually was. I could tell it was only spectral magic. Some shadow magic for the darkness, then some light magic for the stars. I could do that sort of stuff years ago. I often used the little orbs of light when I wanted to read after sundown or when I had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep.

“Betcha can’t do that, witch-monster!” Monique elbowed me in the side and stuck her tongue out at me. She only wanted to get a rise out of me, I told myself. She’d do anything to make me feel like shit, but I had my feelings under control.

“It’s actually pretty easy,” I stated matter of factly. “It’s just a shadow spell and a few light orbs. I could do that when I was six.”

Monique grimaced. “Yeah, well you could also blow up your mom when you were zero!” she bit back at me.

I felt a pang of anger rise up but I pushed it down immediately. That was then. I am in control now. I no longer hurt people with my magic.

“It’s honestly such a wonder you managed to keep that bunny alive for so long. I’d have guessed you’d ‘accidentally’ murder it within the week,” she mocked.

I could feel tears building in my eyes and I had to supress a wave of anger and sadness. “Please stop it Mon,” I whimpered softly, hoping that dad wouldn’t hear.

“Why? Or did you already murder it and your dad just keeps getting you a new one every month?”

This time I wasn’t supressing anger. I was supressing rage. I could feel the heat boiling up in my chest. My hands were trembling. Tears were running down my face and I started breathing rapidly. I felt like the whole room was closing in around me as I fought against the chaotic force that was trying to claw its way out of me.

A voice suddenly pierced through my meltdown. “How about a magic demonstration from the young princess?” Lord Maranwe asked. His terrifying gaze was fixed on me again. The whole room was looking at me right now. Their expectant, posh, stupid, annoying, aggravating, depressing faces were all staring at the sobbing useless mess that was me.

“Don’t pressure the poor kid.” My dad’s soft and warm voice cut through the air. “Can’t you see she’s overwhelmed?” I felt a hand on my shoulder and give me a reassuring squeeze.

“Or maybe you are about to blow this whole place to smithereens? You’re pretty great at that, aren’t you?” Lord Maranwe said calmly, yet louder than any other voice in the room. “The blood of darkness, hidden away in her little tower.” His green and blue eyes were practically glowing and he had that terrible smirk on his face again. His lips weren’t even moving, yet he spoke on. “A murderous little monster like you belongs on a leash!”

For a moment by breath stopped. Then the room went up in flames. The table shattered into a thousand needles and shot through the hall, piercing into a couple of the guests. Screams tore through the roiling flames. I saw Uncle Elroy shove past the fully unharmed Lord Maranwe and run towards me at full sprint. I didn’t even realise what was happening until I was thrown halfway across the room into a wall.

*****

I was back in my room again. Rosie was curled up in my lap and I’d been crying through the whole night and day. My clothes still smelled of smoke and ash and there were a few bloodstains on them. Not a single maid had checked up on me all day and I didn’t have the energy to do anything by myself.

Uncle Elroy visited me in the evening. First, he only shouted at me, told me of all the damage I’d done, the people I’ve hurt. My dad and Monique were in critical condition. Dad lost an arm and a leg and half his face was burned. Monique lost an arm and an eye. I’d also wounded Aunt Neima, Seline, Aespher, Damond, Matthiew and Aunt Talah, though they were all stable. Dozens of guests, mostly aristocrats, got hit by the table splinters and the general nobility was calling for my execution.

After he unloaded all of that he checked the antimagic-collar he put on me last night and punched me in the face “for good measure” before stomping out of the door. I deserved it, I told myself. This and worse. I deserved being executed, though dad probably would put a stop to it. If they waited long enough for him to wake up, that is. My only concern was what would happen to Rosie. At least she should get to have a happy life. She didn’t do anything wrong, but I knew no one would adopt her, knowing where she came from. The monster of House Verois.

I must have been crying till midnight, when I noticed the magic. Spectral. Shadow magic. Even in my current state I could tell magic types apart by heart. Master Viruviel hammered that into me. My sobbing stopped as I tried to figure out what was happening. I could sense the magic crawl around the palace, from room to room, like it was seeking something or someone. I crept further and further up the palace and I held Rosie against my chest protectively when it pushed into my room.

Utter darkness. The blackest of shadow consumed my vision and within the darkness, my magical sight fell on a purple eyed, white haired, elven woman.