"Masha, you're kind and naive"

The girls introduced me to Christopher in Paris once. He was tall very kind, with funny large lips, and almost always walked around in long coats and hats. He was a club promoter, almost like a pimp (just kidding! I don't remember anything bad about him, nothing)

It was always fun. You could stay at his place for some friendly donations, like 100 euros for a week or two. And he rented some really nice places. You could go with him to a club and hang out and drink for free. It was funny to hang out in Parisian clubs, they like to get stuffed to the point of lack of air and listen to dance rap)

I remember this period of going to Paris very well: a lot of cool people, parties, alcohol, DJs, you are always invited to places, there is always something to smoke. It turns out that for me Paris became a city of establishment after 20, and among this establishment there was also a white powder called cocaine in easy reach. And this time around, there are hardly any drugs or parties in my life anymore, not because I limit myself, but because I'm not interested. But even when I was there last summer, I managed to hang out with an acquaintance of mine. Yes, Paris is like that, I love it for that, I hope this year I will be able to visit again.....

Inna and I agreed to stay at Christopher's place for a couple of weeks. He rented an apartment in Montmartre, I love Sacre-Coeur and the metro: with its high winding stairs people love to run out of the train to the elevator, not to climb up. I remember the first time I didn't even notice the elevator and was dragging a huge suitcase up again, in Tbilisi I used to do that too when I lived in different parts of downtown and I dragged those suitcases upstairs because in the old building there is no elevator.

I think Inna arrived a couple of days late and she seemed so beautiful, she had blond, long and thick hair that looked very healthy, perfectly toned body, right size butt and breasts, though she hardly exercised and was just a forest nymph herself, I looked at her and wanted to be that way. The only thing that separated us a lot was our age: she was 30 and I was 22. Inna, too, flew to Paris to be photographed, but just for the money and to hang out, it seemed to me that she was not doing it for her career.....

I was very kind and naive then, didn't notice people's vague behaviors, didn't analyze their bad behavior towards me, didn't question what was wrong with them, why they were acting like that. I remember that my friend from St. Petersburg kept poking me with this: "Masha, you're kind and naive, there's no such thing as such people, it's wild to see such things in this world." She probably meant that I wasn't trying to be liked, that I said what I thought, that I wasn't looking for myself through profit and connections, but that I believed in my gut. Of course, now I think that everything is important: cunning and connections and talent, everything is important. But back then apparently I wanted to be that way, I was thinking about something of my own, like "what are people and where do they run......".

But it was like I really didn't realize that people sometimes say and do nasty things to me, I couldn't believe that they were so sour and wasted their energy on these things.....

Now if something like that happens, I just pull away, realize very quickly why the person is acting that way and move on. And I try not to ignore the first calls of inappropriate behavior. It's like it used to feel like for me to lose my naivety was to become an evil bitch, but now I've lost that naivety and I haven't become an evil bitch) I just have a clearer understanding of what I want, what's good for me.

I didn't think of Inna as someone different. I wanted to see her as she was, she was 30-31 and I was 22 and we were in the same boat. In her 30's she decided to become a lesbian and was dating a rich girl and was looking for someone rich for herself next. i accepted her for who she was, looked at her perfect skin and bright eyes. Yes, I could get tired of her because sometimes Inna would show her pictures as we lay on the bed and I would read or watch something on my own. she would distract me, put her phone up to my face and say "look god look how beautiful I am". To myself I was thinking "yeah, you're really pretty, but I don't give a fuck" and thinking like "eh, that must be weird to do that". I could never understand why she didn't get into a modeling agency, because she really was beautiful. She could make phone calls and talk only about herself, completely oblivious to the fact that the person on the other end was stuffy from her. My opinion is that these are flags of arrogance, and the very essence of the role of the tolerant person is that he doesn't give a damn when he undergoes it. Because then the tolerant person is going to get over it anyway, he'll just be sad after a few days or he won't have the energy tonight, you know what I mean =)

Now I can ask the same about myself, and why I didn't get into the agency, the answer to all of this. I was 20 and didn't believe I was good enough.... Maybe that's why Inna, after she did the métart solo, hardly believed anyone would take her to a good agency, I don't know, that's my guess..... I can tell for myself that I experienced a lot of pressure along the way. Like if I didn't start doing an urgent nude shoot right fucking now, then my train would go somewhere and I'd be alone on another planet and never get into photography again, like that's the only way, only by stripping.....

Now with music I try not to make impulsive decisions. That is, in theory, I could then sit and think and decide that I will still wait, still work, I will not throw myself on the first offer that comes along. After all, the world is crushing with its diversity: isn't there room for me, too.....

To be continued...

Friends, thank you for subscribing to my patreon and reading it, thank you for your time and subscription, I really sincerely appreciate it, happy to share my story with you. And more of my beautiful nude photos you can find here

https://fansly.com/ohwhatawoman

You can also support my art

https://www.paypal.me/DeminaMaria

Welcome to my website

https://ohwhatawoman.space