Der-shing Helmer

TM530 notes

Added 2017-02-21 19:34:18 +0000 UTC

Instead of the comp for the page itself, a look at some pages I compressed into the final. A lot of this chapter is almost a direct redraw of the thumbnailed chapter, because I felt the writing was very strong in this first draft and only needed art and dialouge tweaks (and not pacing tweaks). One soft spot was the argument between Suda and Rana, which I felt was a bit too evenly paced.

One of the things you can do as a writer is to compress or lengthen certain scenes to give them more impact. So I ended up dragging the impact of the argument into the canon page 29 and compressed the denoument into one page (30) instead of 1.5 like it's shown here. There are a few easier ways to show the passage of time than to show the activities in the day... color pallet changes, environmental changes, a bunch of montage scenes, etc. I ended up going with environmental change + repetition to show the focus on one character's emotional state, compared to the original which was more of a half-ass montage. They both culminate in transfering the emotional thoughts to the next character, but I felt like the last panel in the page 30 shown above was less cliffhangery than ending on the stuffed animals, and I do love ending each page on a question, so there we are.

I'm not entirely sure that the pg30 transition will read too fast or not at this point, once it's just the 2/3 midpoint of a continuously read chapter, just going with what my gut tells me to do on this one!