Sorry

sorry..
..for the lack of content and communication..
i am having... quite a bad phase..
rolling on my last pennies which is causing me to stress beyond what i can handle..
But...
could be alot worst without your support..
which is the only reason i can keep my websites running..
so i want to thank you guys for sticking around
and i apologize for not releasing anything...
i want to get into mhw modding asap..
but..
i am still working on that theme.. very slowly...
and without it done..
my sites are only dying more and more since i will need to whipe them once i apply the changes..
and that causes all incomes that was already cut by 75%...now halting to a full stop..
alot of stuff i am working on simply wont work...
and the worst thing about any kind of coding like c# html yaddi yadda...
is that i am wasting hundreads of hours that in the end if it doesn't work..
was for nothing..
so not only it is very unmotivating..
but makes it look like i am not doing anything...
yet i put 50h+ a week on it.. but ya...
scripts/codes only work if 100% done so..
how can i explain...
there is just no proof of work, no feeling of satisfaction.. no content no end result..
it leaves a void that i then have to work around due to my lack of skills..
but then..
opposite of normal,
i actually have so many idea's i never can decide..
so i have been needing feedbacks forever
if any of you would like to help out with that let me know ;3
i am being ignored everywhere i ask so..
a simple choice of color...makes me lose weeks.. or most likely makes me delete it..
my sites are for users.. i cannot know what people like if i am ignored..
and until i get the theme.. which is my skeleton.. my foundation..
finished..
well my world keeps crumbling...
also mainly stressed right now..
due to those dam europeen fks still harassing me with expel treats when my rent is already paid..
simply because i go pay late..
due to how sick i am due to not eating enough and living in their mice,poison,mold infested rent that i have to lock myself in the back room and cannot wash myself in my own infected bathroom..
they do know i have it on time every month...
and that they can and is... their fkin job to come and pick it up..
but nope..
they prefer sending me treats during the holidays..
which i received another one today even though it was apparently canceled...
so if you watched my stream.. probably noticed i am going fkin mental...
sounding like a beaten sheep that ran out of water a week before..
so my work is sadly slowing down more..
..but...
like always... i will lose everything..
then find some fkin way to go back to basics...
if you have the patience to stick around
swear things will get done..  
and i really appreciate the help even if i completely fail at showing it
i hope that my previous work is atleast offering some joy back
because right now...
i... am very very busy fighting my worst enemy ..
...myself