Huge Fkin Life Change, this is it i am taking my life back..

So this is very fkin important to me.. im fkin done jailing myself in my own fkin mind and body for over 11 years been single and losing weight and not eating and drinking 4 times the normal caffeine dose...
Well ya last saturday i did an insane caffein overdose..
So i didnt touch a single one since..
And now i am having what they call a Manic Attack
which is actually a good thing wish i had them more often..
in my case i seen it happen only 4 times in my lifetime..
And everytime it poped up i completely wasted the opportunity of using that Inner Fire To do soimething about it to be able to once and for all take control over it..
Im doing a video been on it for 28 hours...
And then will be doing alot of irl streams where i will be telling my life story once and for all...
I am letting everything out.. including showing my nasty teeth even though i will force myself to go before xmas to get them all pulled out i feel people need to see how pathetic i am right now... and i need to remind myself has well... cause i don't think i will... I FKIN WILL win against Bipolarity this fkin time..cannot get rid of it But i need to retake control over it...
I was able to until the age of 21 to use my Manic has almost an advantage using humor to redirect it..
WTV!!!
If you care even a bit about me.. and i mean me.. not my work my sites i mean my Mental and physical health.. my dam life..
Then it would be nice if you could show some support ;3
I know you guys already show support here ;3 But if maybe you can just pass by say a quick little hello, or a quick follow if u arent alrdy
Any small thing will help me keep up.. i am also going to do a massive speech to my mother to force her to fkin accept my sickness once and for all so that she can help me instead of fkin ignoring my call for help...
Really hurts when out of all people.. since Bipolarity in the eyes of 80% of people is nothing else then laziness or a little mood swing and they always just say stand up and walk.. HAS IF IT WAS THAT EASY GRRR
But when my own mother says it... makes me wanna jump a bridge,.
So time to let it all out... my reputation cannot become worst then it is anyways... so if people attack me since i know they will.. well who cares.. atleast i might hopefully feel better by sharing my story