Bearadox

Update: gaining, content creation, health

Added 2024-03-01 01:37:25 +0000 UTC

Where am I on gaining?

I hesitate to make any big definitive statement. I am not interested in or attracted to it now. I am interested in certain people whom I've met along the way. Taking Prozac was a system reset for my sex drive.

Where am I on content creation?

After having one or more subscribing members post sensitive content on third party sites, I think people in general are just fucking awful. But people are all we have. Hopefully I can speak my truth in the moment when problems arise and not cower from necessary conflict. I enjoy not sharing my body right now.

Health update

I started swimming again this week in an effort to bring my blood pressure down: my hypertension is still off-the-charts, even with taking bp meds. I can feel my endurance coming back and maybe I won't tire so easily.

As of today, I started a low dose of buspirone: "Drugs used in the treatment of anxiety are frequently sedating and tend to be respiratory depressants. Buspirone, a nonbenzodiazepine anxiolytic agent, has little reported sedative effect. It has been shown to be a respiratory stimulant in an anesthetized, glomectomized cat model." "Respiratory stimulants, such as progesterone, theophylline, protriptyline, and buspirone, can enhance the central drive to breathe and normalize the arterial tension of CO2 (Paco2) in the obesity-hypoventilation syndrome."

Can my pussy catch a breath?

This was a big week for mental health care: I have a new medications' manager and a new therapist, in addition to seeing my C-PTSD coach, my 12-step cosponsor and CoDA Meeting (which I skipped, which I need to go to more than anything), and my life-coach (which is optional but still a good thing; we have a vision board and that's helped get me motivated to living a fuller life).