About last night....

Hey my handsome Patrons,

So, yes thank you Ramon my very loyal Patron who I communicated to last night to ask him to do a shout out to let you know that I wasn't able to make it last night...

It was technical issues, but I was also having a CPTSD flashback, that's why technical issues are even more difficult to resolve because in a flashback as you may know by now from hanging out with me so much, part of my brain is not working.

It was a big flashback. A big flashback means passive suicide thoughts (don't worry they are passive which means I think them but don't act on them) it's one of the symptoms of a CPTSD flashback, it means it's a severe flashback. Luckily my energy healing family were online for support and by talking to them I realised i was having a flashback. Before that realisation I thought my life had suddenly spiralled from pretty good to not worth living. The good news is that as soon as I realise I am having a flashback I can course correct and the way I do that is by saying "OHHHHH I'm having a flashback. Suze, you have permission to do whatever you want"

By dropping all the "shoulds" on my to do list (and no talking to you is not a "i should do this" but I knew i wasn't going to be much fun) plus once I tried to connect, thinking that maybe chatting with you would lift me up, my chrome had reset itself minus the bookmarks and passwords, couldn't find my laptop charger to find another way to access, which is when i was like "WOAH, HOLD UP! THIS is not a time to do anything, but listen to my spiritual teachers satsang on YouTube and put my feet up on top of my electric blanket. So that's what I did.

Further good news is that I woke up a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON!!!!

I jumped out of bed to finish painting my dressing up room, i got my laundry done, made a good meal for myself, had a bunch of awesome ideas and I was like HALLELUJAH we are back on track!!!!!!

it's amazing how permission to do whatever we want is such a big step to the quickest recovery possible. I know I need to start teaching this stuff because i know there are many people suffering from all kinds of invisible illnesses that cause so much internal suffering, and I have found the tools to manage them and in some cases to completely overcome them. CPTSD still loses me days, but oh so much better than in the past when it lost me weeks. Thank God.

So, let's reschedule for next weekend please....suggestions for times and days, I don't think I can do Saturday evening CET but Friday or Sunday, please feel free to add your preferences, I will go with majority vote, and if you don't vote I go with whatever I feel like!

I will get back on track with content tomorrow, you might suddenly get a truckload of videos at once!

So typically me, like a bus, none coming and then all come at once!!!

You can send your requests NOW!!!!!

*Here is the link to my Spiritual Teachers Sunday Satsangs for anyone interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LfMEt5QFio

And for anyone not following my new youTube channel that is here, please subscribe:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcy_rIZn7E2BJkRzqLI4Qqw 

Loads of love and thank you for your patience 

Suze x