This is Suze

Let's talk about shame

Added 2018-11-11 07:55:11 +0000 UTC

Today I am sharing a video of myself taking a shower. Just a very normal mundane routine that all of us do, that can at times be a really glorious time in our day. A time where our bodies get to be cocooned in the water we were carried in for 9 months, a time where we feel healed, where we feel free to sing, our voices beautifully framed by the steam in the room, a time where we perhaps return to our most innocent and natural self.

As I watch this video back to check the volume I am aware how much our natural selves have been suppressed. We have been made to believe that we are not good enough unless we fit some social standard, and that that social standard is similar for those of us born to the same country and class, but also has specific standards based on the standards of our parents. Even more confusing when your parents come from different cultures, races and classes, because there are sometimes conflicting social standards between them that growing up we had to read between and come up with our own definition of what is, and is not, expected of us.

Fall short of those social standards? The consequences feel internally and externally dangerous, eg, being naked in public, or not have the figure that matches the photoshopped one in the magazine or your mothers or fathers preference for how a man or woman "should" look, then what happens is, you learn and adapt to carrying around a huge amount of shame.

The theme that has been coming up this week again and again for me has been shame. This weeks adventure in travelling has not gone as I had hoped. It has been painful far more than it has been relaxing. i have not felt "myself" I have not felt the ground beneath my feet, and for that reason my vlogs have been delayed, as i repeat the phrase "What would someone who loves themselves do now?" and sometimes the answer has been, take time for yourself, breathe! And today I realised that someone who loves themselves would share their story with those that make them feel safe, which for now, is my Patrons.

Thank you for waiting,

Suze :-)