Recovering, slowly.

This little goat has been a blessing, and a surprise.  After the accident I have been stuck at home, no way to get around. A little over a week after the accident, this little guy was born, and needed some special care. I have been slowly recovering, bottle feeding this baby goat and he has been such a huge blessing in helping me heal. It has gotten me back into the routine of waking up on time, for feedings, and as you can see here, made me paint for the first time since the accident. 

The good news after the accident too, is that the man that hit me, and ran from his car, was caught, and the people he flipped my car into that night, are alive and doing well. The driver is off the road for now, to my knowledge, and might be, for a long time.

The bad news,  I have had to cancel contracts, move my life around, and I am still so deathly afraid of driving, it is making it hard to move on, or even ride in friends vehicles, and I of course have physical therapy to hopefully regain regular use of my back, hips and neck.

When I was in the car, I never went unconscious, I saw his lights a half second before I was hit, felt the impact, the glass exploding into my face, the rolling and seeing my dog flip into the air as I reached to catch her.  I remember bracing against the dashboard, sticking my arm out straight, and my legs into the floor of the car. 

We rolled, over the hood of the car, over the freaking front as his truck pushed me through and forward.

After we rolled, 

We rolled again.

The car came to a stop with me dangling over the passenger side, glass was raining down on me and my dog from all sides.  

The real horror of the entire event was watching people drive around me.

I was screaming. Screaming for help and shaking as people drove around me. The EMT's arrived, the fire department got me out of the car safely, a woman kindly held my dog for me, I wish I knew her name, I wish I could thank her so badly for giving me the calm to not collapse then and there.

I do plan on driving again, but at the moment it is baby steps.  I was at a light, at night, and was hit with so little time to react that now every intersection or every quiet pause in sound even when just out and about is causing an immediate sense of fear, and it is pretty crippling. 

Returning to routine is my next hope.  

But I wont be able to horseback ride, or build things. I love building, I built my own house for goodness sake! and the day I was hit I had laid out the lumber for my raised garden bed, and had just finished building new front steps for a tiny porch.  It was a good day, up until that point, a really good day that was supposed to be topped off by painting miniatures, and making spicy thai soup. 

Healing is what I am doing now though, and I hope that means more art.  Thank you everyone for your patience, thank you for the kind notes and words. I haven't had a lot of time to sit down, not in pain, to create, but the goals to make some progress are there. 

And for what it is worth, I did end up making that soup.

Taylor-