Alternate Universe Commissions, ch3
Added 2019-06-13 15:08:05 +0000 UTCHey, guys!
So here are the last two commissions from the "alternate universe" where Varassa has triumphed over the heroes of Highwind. (I have included all 4 chapters for convenience)
As for TaV: Ascension, I only missed 2 days from computer woes so I'm back at it! I would love to finish it by the end of the month, but if not it should be ready at the start of July.
Edit: Chapter 3 is actually just twice as long, it's technically not 3 and 4!
Comments
At some point this summer I'll probably flesh this out some more and turn it into a short book or short series. Not sure yet!
Sarah Hawke
2019-06-15 16:12:03 +0000 UTCWow. That was amazing. I was glad you finally answered a nagging question I've had, which is how Kaseya doesn't get pregnant given how often she and Jorem have been together. I was surprised Jorem never thought to ask before now, either. Nicely answered. Maybe it's just me, but your writing in the past month seems to have ticked up a notch in quality. Not that it was bad before, it's just gotten better. Smoother. More details in artful places (i.e. pointed ears), a few more diverse, vivid word choices, a few bold word usages that felt fresh and hit the mark. And your starting imagery with Varassa, her outfit, and all the narrative that went with it...stellar. Whatever you're channeling to do this, it's working. Keep it up, and keep improving on it. :) One final note: I love where this story seems to be going. Gloriously steamy as this premise is, it's easier to enjoy when I have a sense that the gang isn't doomed to be Varassa's slaves for long. (I wonder if they'll bust out Serrane, too... As for Telanya...I probably could live with that loss.)
Vairya1
2019-06-15 02:24:23 +0000 UTC
