Side Stories Spoilers - September 2019

Well, here we are. I don't know how this poll will go. Technically, we have 3 strong contenders in Az and Ilvriss, both of whom are popular or interesting, Toren, and Goblins, but then again, Toren has historically swept a lot of polls and the Goblin option contains Rags, so we shall see! Foliana is our dark squirrel for this poll, and if she wins, I'll be delighted to write her!

With that said, here are your spoilers. Bear in mind that my topic for this poll is 'vaguely relaxing', so I will give each spoiler option a score on how relaxing it is vs how plot-centric.

...PS, the current thinking is that anyone who has access to this can reveal the information to everyone. What's the use of a secret if you can't tell it, especially with a poll? On the other hand, do you miss being the secret few who knew what the poll options were and could have been? Want to go back to having to keep this secret? Let me know; I'm just curious.

Az'kerash and Ilvriss Relax and Work...Separately

...Have you ever wanted to see Az'kerash make pottage? Or a pizza? Do you want to see him make a sandwich? I need to say no more. But I will, since I'm me.

Gah! I hate that new keyboard! Old keyboard here, writing twice as fast and with twice the sass! This side story has it all. Possibly too much? It's in two halves, one with Az'kerash for once not plotting diabolical stuff. He will make food. What food, I haven't quite decided yet. But that is your big lure.

On the other hand, how does Ilvriss relax in proper Drake society in the Walled City of Salazsar? And what is he up to now he's finally home? I'll tell you what. STUFF. Stuff that involves drinking actually good wine.

That's right. Wine and food. But also plot stuff! I score this chapter a pleasingly pleasant undead snack in terms of relaxation and a Drake's steely resolve in terms of plot progression! 7/10 and 7/10? I just made that number up.

Toren's Dungeon Bar

New keyboard here. Slow and painful. Toren is here! And he's got a lot to show for his time away from home. We'll be catching up with our favorite skeleton in the dungeon. Expect Toren's antics at his best! But...what about Toren? What's her take on all this?

In a dungeon, there is a bar. And a skeleton running it. He may be slightly insane. And while there will be laughs, there will also be sadness. Highs and lows. Of your options, this one will confront the dynamics of undead management, the insanity of skeletons, and the logistics of serving drinks to monsters.

We may also get to see how different types of undead rise, and new ones appearing. So if you like...undead...things...er...vote? Also, a cameo of our favorite Raskghar! I don't promise a happy story for them.

...I score this a distressed but amusing skeleton in terms of entertainment, and a necessary life adjustment for plot development. Call it 4/10 and 8/10? I have no clue.

Foliana Eats Food for Fun

Foliana eats food and freaks people out. What more do you want? Guarenteed to win!

Okay, maybe this is the under-squirrel. But this chapter will have the most interesting thing of all: Baleros and someone unafraid to spend money. How many characters have we met who have money? Real money? Ilvriss? Magnolia? And do we see them spend it like they're a [Merchant] with their first hundred thousand gold pieces burning a hole in their loincloth?

No. But Foliana--she'll spend money. She'll see sights. Want to know what a drunk squirrel does in one of the most famous cities of Baleros and what said famous city has to offer?

Want to see Foliana enter a brothel? Can you even imagine what happens next? Because I promise you, that brother scene is going to be written if this chapter wins. Ask yourself this: how entertaining could that moment be? And you will fail to find the answer. I know that answer.

I give this a fuzzy squirrel eating spaghetti in terms of enjoyment and two rocks sitting on a plank in terms of story content. 9/10, hopefully, and 3/10 for lore.

Goblinhome, the Survival Sim

This story is about Goblins. Which ones? The ones that got away. The ones we remember, but haven't seen until now. Their sorrows, regrets, and trauma...

...Will not be the focus of this chapter. Actually, and I'm switching back to the regular keyboard here because writing has taken me 20 minutes of my vacation--this chapter's experimental. It's about Goblins building a base. It's about me playing too much Rimworld, but never Dwarf Fortress because I can't stand the lack of graphics or proper controls. It's about experimentation.

And if you liked the chapters where I try something new, Two Rats being the last of them, you'll like this. How do Goblins build a base? And where? What does the average Goblin's life look like in regards to the master plan? How do you defend against creatures nearby, find a food supply? It's a chapter you vote for if your idea of entertainment is reading about that kind of challenge.

It's frankly a chapter that harkens back to the start of The Wandering Inn. Except there's a lot of Erin's, they have Skills and classes, they're Goblins, so it's hard-mode, and oh, one last thing. They're building in the High Passes. So this is the hardest challenge yet! How will they triumph and fail against nature and monsters? Humans and Drakes aren't there to break their hearts, so they might actually have a chance!

I rate this a Goblin's adventure story in terms of entertainment, and a Goblin ballista to the face in terms of progress! Call it 7/10 if you like that kind of story, 5/10 if not, and 8/10 for plot because of Goblins.