Marten Opens Up
Added 2025-03-20 00:57:19 +0000 UTCChoosy moms choose...well, you know ;)
Comments
Presumably he'd have had to stir it around a bit between...finishing and putting it away, or the next person to open the jar would immediately know SOMETHING was quite wrong, since PB normally does not have translucent white fluid separating out of it.
Taellosse
2025-03-24 19:22:42 +0000 UTCWell yeah. That IS a type of peanut butter, after all. Unclear if it is also a type of Moray.
Taellosse
2025-03-24 19:17:44 +0000 UTCIn ancient Rome they used olive oil...
Stephen Wells
2025-03-24 11:11:06 +0000 UTCBack in the late 90's, there was a safe sex pamphlet that circulated around Furry conventions, and the back of it read, "Brought to you by Yiffy Lube, where your fox is ready for you in 15 minutes or the service is free!"
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-23 19:35:53 +0000 UTCAlso, if the peanut-butter was on the really thick side and/or crunchy, the condom might *stick,* which would add a new world of hurt to the term "chafe." I don't even OWN a penis and that hurts to think about.
YsabetJustYsabet
2025-03-23 17:21:24 +0000 UTCSame re: jars of Jif, one of which is sitting in my pantry right now. Did anyone else out there wonder if he meant Crunchy or Creamy? R.I.P. to your coffee.
YsabetJustYsabet
2025-03-23 17:18:25 +0000 UTCI just want to chase them. And I do. :D
YsabetJustYsabet
2025-03-23 17:11:51 +0000 UTCThis reminds me of a conversation I once had regarding spray-on Pam. If you ever want some odd anecdotes to add to this, include an Emergency Room tech in your conversation and man, you'll hear a few... The results: don't EVER use anything even vaguely considered part of the Food Groups (or their accessories) as lubricant; just don't.
YsabetJustYsabet
2025-03-23 17:08:54 +0000 UTCOddly, I had somehow forgotten the later one, but remember the earlier one vividly. Hannelore must never know.
Clifton Royston
2025-03-23 01:32:12 +0000 UTC@Solomon Garland, reach out to @enchantedsleeper about that one… You may be able to start a club! 😉
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-23 01:04:20 +0000 UTCThat’s a disturbingly apt observation. Thank you for sharing!
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-23 00:59:15 +0000 UTCBut this has always been such a lovely safe place for all us perverts, right?
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-23 00:57:57 +0000 UTCAnd now I have a sudden urge to pop in a Zelda game & go flying with the cuccos! 🤪
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-23 00:56:24 +0000 UTCThat sounds excellent! I am open for ALL things within or inspired by the world of Tolkien. Hobbits obviously know their way around the kitchen & and ample pantries would offer plenty of room to get down, for example, if others were already having a good time in the wine cellar. That said, I believe that Cizeta was referring to the Mantan Moreland punchline, which first came to my attention when the Beastie Boys sampled him on Ill Communication. https://dangerousminds.net/comments/famous_beastie_boys_sample_revealed
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-23 00:51:42 +0000 UTCYou didn't ask for it, but here it starts: "Well, it takes fluff, fluff, fluff..." (For $100 I'll stop right now.)
ValdVin
2025-03-22 19:23:00 +0000 UTCI heard someone describe Jif as "peanut-flavored Crisco", and I think it describes it well. Not sure if that makes it a better personal lubricant, but it certainly makes it less edible than true peanut butter.
Enno Rehling
2025-03-22 19:18:18 +0000 UTC"You got WHAT in my peanut butter?"
ValdVin
2025-03-22 19:17:56 +0000 UTCGood thing you went with buttercream. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4661
ValdVin
2025-03-22 18:58:32 +0000 UTCDevin, the only way to correctly evaluate that is by mouthfeel, and as we all know, the slime girl "... hasn't been evaluated by Health Canada for oral use." https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5392
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-22 06:00:03 +0000 UTCOh, come on. "A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-22 05:54:59 +0000 UTCIt's worse at night when you get the bourbon spittakes.
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-22 05:53:28 +0000 UTCI showed this comment to my wife and her response was, "Tell her I feel seen."
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-22 05:51:41 +0000 UTCTriple word score for use of raw-dogging.
Kuragari
2025-03-22 03:29:10 +0000 UTCSuch a fun romp. The sequels, not so much, but sequels are always difficult.
Holly Nelson
2025-03-21 23:08:28 +0000 UTCDammit. I miss commenting for ONE night and the discussion turns to strange places where we've stuck our penises...
Yelling Bird
2025-03-21 16:41:11 +0000 UTCOn the one hand, the number of people talking about Moray joining Marten and Claire in bed is making me think you’re a bunch of perverts. In the other, I’m also a pervert and the idea is very compelling. … anyone ever stick a finger in each end of one of those water snake toy things?
Solomon Garland
2025-03-21 14:07:45 +0000 UTCCrunchy?????
Solomon Garland
2025-03-21 14:03:25 +0000 UTCI've been reading your comic for 20 years, and this is the first time I've a) ever left a comment and b) laughed so hard I snorted (not to say you haven't made me laugh before in these two decades, of course. but good lord you really got me good today). It was the last panel that did me in.
Samantha Gordon
2025-03-21 13:37:13 +0000 UTCI think she feels like a waterbed made of gummy bear
Daniel Burnett
2025-03-21 12:37:35 +0000 UTCMaybe not Sven, but 1,000% Steve
Smashy smashy
2025-03-21 12:17:53 +0000 UTC@Melissa Wilson that sounds like it should be in a LotR porn parody: "Po-tay-toes. Boil 'em! Mash 'em! Stick your dick in 'em!"
David Paul
2025-03-21 09:36:29 +0000 UTCIt'd be high in protein, I suppose...
David Paul
2025-03-21 09:27:02 +0000 UTCI mean, as intrusive thoughts go, this is pretty mild. Marten is practically an angel.
Clifton Royston
2025-03-21 09:09:30 +0000 UTCmine is the urge to pick up a pigeon in both hands like a hamburger, hold it over my head and ~run~
Boots McGoot
2025-03-21 09:06:27 +0000 UTCI do, whenever possible!
Clifton Royston
2025-03-21 09:06:01 +0000 UTCOoooooooh, another 'Witches of Karres' fan! A much neglected book.
Clifton Royston
2025-03-21 09:03:10 +0000 UTCThe 80-ounce size jar?
William Burns
2025-03-21 08:34:15 +0000 UTCJust show him this comic casually.
William Burns
2025-03-21 08:32:31 +0000 UTCThat's stylish!
William Burns
2025-03-21 08:30:46 +0000 UTCNo matter how inappropriate his suggestions are!
Graydon Armstrong
2025-03-21 07:45:51 +0000 UTCI loved them XD They also used to spring leaks very easily
enchantedsleeper
2025-03-21 06:54:19 +0000 UTCIf it were there would be no need for condoms except as birth control
Todd Ellner
2025-03-21 05:30:43 +0000 UTCyou mean Jay-feg?
Minzoku Bokumetsu
2025-03-21 03:49:09 +0000 UTCI don't care how well you prep your dick, I am not using that jar afterward for a PB&J. Just... no.
Beth Goode
2025-03-21 03:43:26 +0000 UTCSAE 90?
Ursus Ridens
2025-03-21 03:29:43 +0000 UTCJeph set it up and you knocked it down, Joe! XD
Sean Brannon
2025-03-21 02:50:52 +0000 UTCWhen will Moray realize that she can simulate the viscosity of peanut butter?
awgiedawgie
2025-03-21 01:29:13 +0000 UTCListen. It’s a good joke. It’s a great joke, even. But, I’m gonna need ya to stop anyway.
Miyaa
2025-03-21 00:48:11 +0000 UTC"waste of peanut butter if you ask me" - only if you don't lick it off, Jeph ...
Joe
2025-03-21 00:27:05 +0000 UTCoooh myyyy
Joe
2025-03-21 00:25:19 +0000 UTCThe solo version of hate sex.
Opus the Poet
2025-03-20 20:15:02 +0000 UTCYou don’t know if you have a peanut allergy? Poor thing. 🥲😘😉
legobil
2025-03-20 17:55:27 +0000 UTCDepends on if it’s shear thickening or shear thinning….
Nessi505
2025-03-20 17:48:15 +0000 UTCI'm a cis woman but I've had a ton of dick-sticking-in-stuff fantasies, the most frequent being a jar of Betty Crocker whipped buttercream frosting.
cakecake
2025-03-20 16:12:01 +0000 UTC"Squirrel Peanut Butter- It's NUTS!"
Hugh Eckert
2025-03-20 16:10:32 +0000 UTCDammit!!! * grabs napkins and sops up coffee dribbled on keyboard * You'd think that after all this time, I would have learned that having any consumables when reading QC is a risk. And I will not be able to look at any jar of JIF without giggling anytime soon.
Rai Venne
2025-03-20 16:06:56 +0000 UTCHell of a way to find out about that undiagnosed peanut allergy.
Garrett Karlson
2025-03-20 16:04:45 +0000 UTC::applause::
Hugh Eckert
2025-03-20 16:01:29 +0000 UTCI'll never be able to get my oil changed there again.
William Cole
2025-03-20 14:49:24 +0000 UTC😂
Moonthief
2025-03-20 14:31:08 +0000 UTCHe'll have to stop for No Nut November
Todd Ellner
2025-03-20 14:08:01 +0000 UTCThough I’m usually a fan of the extra crunchy, dark-roasted, nothing-but-peanuts stuff, I expect my go-to jar in the pantry would provide one an excessive & uncomfortable amount of resistance. For this application, I think extra creamy would definitely be the way to go… Ooh! Or that powdered stuff that people use for smoothies or apple dip. Yes! But it would be a tremendous shame to waste food, so proper hygiene is key, like for grape-stomping… being tidily trimmed & having a gentle antiseptic wash first would be essential! If & only if absolutely necessary, peanut oil should make an acceptable lube. Good grief, I’ve invested so much thought in this, the sunk cost is starting to feel compelling. But how to bring this up with the husband…?🤔
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-20 13:30:37 +0000 UTC...Any high-viscosity fluid can act as a masturbation sleeve if you're brave enough?
Taellosse
2025-03-20 13:20:27 +0000 UTCWell, they DID discuss it initially as an unrestricted experience - adding a condom was only proposed once potential hazards with that approach were suggested.
Taellosse
2025-03-20 13:18:00 +0000 UTCI thought it was mashed potatoes? But I rather enjoy both.
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-20 13:13:12 +0000 UTCTell us!
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-20 13:11:35 +0000 UTCYikes! I hope the dog was happy, at least…
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-20 13:10:18 +0000 UTCEek! Those things gave me goosebumps.
Melissa Wilson
2025-03-20 13:08:25 +0000 UTCA little from column a, a little from column b
Eric Sieck
2025-03-20 13:07:20 +0000 UTCEverybody listens to him!
Eric Sieck
2025-03-20 13:06:50 +0000 UTCGreat, another place I cannot drive by and not be cackling.
Miyaa
2025-03-20 13:01:07 +0000 UTCTo which the social media celebrity EMT guy turns on his ambulance’s sirens and drives while muttering something about a ‘flared base.’
Miyaa
2025-03-20 12:58:05 +0000 UTCA Cif Jif gif Jeph even
Miyaa
2025-03-20 12:55:15 +0000 UTCI’m afraid to ask which jingle. There’s a lot of jingles that Sean could have ruined already.
Miyaa
2025-03-20 12:54:24 +0000 UTCMaking a note to tell Marten not to put his penis in a jar of Vegemite.
Miyaa
2025-03-20 12:47:02 +0000 UTCDepends whether he's got his seven-string, or has borrowed someone's jazz guitar.
Amelia Lewis
2025-03-20 12:46:03 +0000 UTCHey, Sean! Apologies are _hard_!
Amelia Lewis
2025-03-20 12:41:59 +0000 UTCFrom a swedish supplies: https://www.stadbutiken.se/sv/artiklar/jif-cream.html
legobil
2025-03-20 11:58:27 +0000 UTCI mean if anyone would understand, it'd be Marten's mom
Antony Jones
2025-03-20 11:57:24 +0000 UTCFrom the Amazon.com.au site -Jif Cream Cleaner Original 500ml - 100% Dirt Removal - 100% Smooth & Shiny Surfaces - Microcrystal Technology - Complete penetration - Easy to rinse off. " https://www.amazon.com.au/Jif-Cream-Cleaner-Original-500ml/dp/B0CSGB3VSZ/
Charles Hirst
2025-03-20 11:54:32 +0000 UTCSo deep.
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 11:37:37 +0000 UTCFood safe, other than being a biohazard?
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 11:36:23 +0000 UTCThank god somebody does.
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 11:16:30 +0000 UTC"Rawdogging" is a slang term that originally referred to sexual intercourse without a condom, but has expanded to mean enduring a difficult or mundane activity without any support or distractions, such as a flight without entertainment or a chore without assistance. - from the Internets
Phil Allison
2025-03-20 11:15:23 +0000 UTCmy deepest apologies
Mad Marie
2025-03-20 11:15:12 +0000 UTCYes! Similarly to truffle dogs, the peanuts were harvested by real trained squirrels, actually related to the ones they used in the Wonka movie. The brand died out when Health Canada determined that, though safe for people, the process exposed the squirrels to excessive peanut fats and oils, and significantly decreased their lifespan.
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 11:14:36 +0000 UTCJiph Cocques
Mad Marie
2025-03-20 11:13:14 +0000 UTCThe _proper_ pronunciation of "GIF".
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:12:48 +0000 UTCOh, we _all_ know the answer to _that_.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:12:16 +0000 UTC@Diptych top tier reference
enchantedsleeper
2025-03-20 11:11:51 +0000 UTCConsidering the sexual escapades of both of their mothers? Pretty sure they've already had _plenty_ of such discussions. The weird-ass fetishy topic of the day must be routine to them now.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:11:21 +0000 UTCTwo great tastes that taste great together?
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:10:07 +0000 UTCSomewhere, right now, his Pint-ey-senses are tingling. But he might not notice, 'cause he thinks it's just capacitor feedback.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:09:12 +0000 UTCCannibals hate it when the captives do that.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:07:18 +0000 UTCWhat if she's like a giant one of those squishy "water snake" toys that were big in the 90s?
enchantedsleeper
2025-03-20 11:05:46 +0000 UTC"Oh God! So terribly red! And the SWELLING!"
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 11:04:31 +0000 UTCDid the cylindrical indentation not tip them all off?
enchantedsleeper
2025-03-20 11:03:14 +0000 UTCGeek-nerding adds more to the edifice of comprehension than is commonly understood. Moray must be far more complex in her interior than she appears from outside. Remember in the Witches of Karres, where the horse-sized battle spider was normally just a pile of fake fur, till activated and given form by some kind of electromagnetic fields? I feel Moray is like that, only squishier. (Hey, you think Gordon would enjoy being a battle spider, maybe on weekends?)
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 11:02:57 +0000 UTCOkay , that's pretty amazing.
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 11:00:48 +0000 UTCI had forgotten that. Mercifully. But now, not. Thanks. :P
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 11:00:14 +0000 UTCDepends on the birds. Vultures aren't picky about proteins.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:58:40 +0000 UTCAh, yes, I remember well the GIF Wars *flashback ensues
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:57:30 +0000 UTCHe is the son of the greatest living Domme of North America. He grew up with some, let's say, non-standard ideas of "weird".
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:56:32 +0000 UTCOh dear god, I had forgotten Fidel "Pintsize" Castro. Never, ever tell Hannelore.
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 10:53:20 +0000 UTCAnd with all this discussion of peanut butter sex, it's only a matter of time before Pintsize spontaneously wormholes into the chat.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:53:19 +0000 UTCProbably it was May's idea. She wanted to watch.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:52:13 +0000 UTCShe has opinions on the sensual effectiveness of viscoelastic foods. The combination of both solid and fluid behaviors adds complexity.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:51:42 +0000 UTCBut Crunchy Jeph or Smooth Jeph?
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:49:43 +0000 UTCBecause you secretly enjoy the coffee spittakes.
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:47:02 +0000 UTCPerfect follow-up is perfect. :D
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:46:11 +0000 UTCJIFs, GIFs, Smifs, Mi(l)fs, and Di(l)fs! Plenty of initialism possibilities there. * goes off to write some very confusing AO3s
Michael Steamweed
2025-03-20 10:45:40 +0000 UTCWe've seen her spring a leak & discuss "topping up her fluids", so the interior is definitely a lot more fluid than the exterior.
Stephen Wells
2025-03-20 10:38:26 +0000 UTC"...oh, I thought you said raw-dogging Moray. My response is unchanged."
Stephen Wells
2025-03-20 10:37:06 +0000 UTCClaire's response: "Smooth not crunchy, warm it to body temperature first, and I get to watch" :)
Stephen Wells
2025-03-20 10:36:25 +0000 UTCoh dearie dearie me
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 10:31:42 +0000 UTCI would not trust a microwaved watermelon. Hot spots could be ouch 🥵
Holly Nelson
2025-03-20 10:30:21 +0000 UTCNo, PB&BJ.
Opus the Poet
2025-03-20 10:06:22 +0000 UTCDaaang!
Opus the Poet
2025-03-20 10:04:38 +0000 UTCYes, but did he microwave the watermelon to body temperature first?
Opus the Poet
2025-03-20 10:03:52 +0000 UTCYeah? Something to do in the kitchen, perhaps?
Donna Flint
2025-03-20 09:23:19 +0000 UTCDamn, you're right, I've set a bad example for Brad...
BookBeard
2025-03-20 09:10:54 +0000 UTCI also wonder how consistent she is throughout. Is she like a gummy bear or does surface tension hold together a more fluid interior?
Donna Flint
2025-03-20 09:10:53 +0000 UTCMessy, but not dirty. Besides, everyone knows J(iz) is food safe.
Donna Flint
2025-03-20 09:07:14 +0000 UTCYou really keep this community together
Alcaria Swain
2025-03-20 09:01:28 +0000 UTC@ Captain Button: it didn't. Peanut butter is very much a niche product here. Most people prefer Vegemite.
Dean Reilly
2025-03-20 08:47:41 +0000 UTC“And now somewhere there is a dude furiously masturbating to that mental image” Furiously masturbating has a certain ring to it.
legobil
2025-03-20 08:43:31 +0000 UTCNO! We don’t kink shame here! BookBeard, don’t go there! Those are some perfectly normal and not weird things at all to do with hair.
legobil
2025-03-20 08:35:48 +0000 UTC@BookBeard at least it wasn’t a bird flu outbreak?
legobil
2025-03-20 08:18:14 +0000 UTCShe's still taking notes. Not on the same topic as before, but there are notes.
Stephen Wells
2025-03-20 08:16:11 +0000 UTCI dunno why I read “two great things that taste great together” but I guess that depends on the operators equipment.
legobil
2025-03-20 08:14:55 +0000 UTCThe slight blush on Martens cheeks in panel 4 is 😘👌
legobil
2025-03-20 08:13:45 +0000 UTCI don't know why I KEEP reading this comment section over breakfast...
enchantedsleeper
2025-03-20 08:13:17 +0000 UTCOh, totally. I know the one you mean! But I have also seen it spelled Cif which ruins your point. :(
legobil
2025-03-20 08:11:18 +0000 UTCYou get a like because it’s dirty.
legobil
2025-03-20 08:10:50 +0000 UTCThis is what we call it in my household and I regularly have to check myself when I’m saying it to people who aren’t my wife
J
2025-03-20 07:52:55 +0000 UTCI managed to remember the beard pubes and NOT the salon artist. Ah, Marten and Dora's reconciliation, that's a cute run of strips ^^
enchantedsleeper
2025-03-20 07:52:25 +0000 UTCIt's not a waste of peanut butter if you, ahem...use it to make a PB & J(iz) afterward!
Liam Barksdale
2025-03-20 07:36:01 +0000 UTCThis reminds me of a Reddit Story in which is transpired that one of the roommates in a household had been doing this... And had been putting the jar of peanut butter back in the kitchen cupboard each time.
Ste Saunders
2025-03-20 07:24:06 +0000 UTCIt very much depends on her body temperature.
Alasdair Mackintosh
2025-03-20 07:17:28 +0000 UTCNext she's gonna try askin' Liz
Green
2025-03-20 07:15:28 +0000 UTCThis comment horrifies me, thanks
Green
2025-03-20 07:09:30 +0000 UTCConsidering he's done it with a watermelon, that doesn't sound like too much of a stretch 🤔
Green
2025-03-20 07:09:00 +0000 UTC'Jif' is a brand of counter-top creme cleanser here. This comic reads....very differently.
MikeT
2025-03-20 06:36:23 +0000 UTCIf we are sharing, I for one have spent a lot of time the last days thinking about what Moray hugs would feel like...
CrudeButEfficient
2025-03-20 06:19:46 +0000 UTCMan I miss those crazy kids. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=832
J.C. Hewitt
2025-03-20 05:34:27 +0000 UTCD:
fx_in_mind
2025-03-20 05:29:08 +0000 UTCNow I'm curious
J.R. Murdock
2025-03-20 05:03:10 +0000 UTCChoosy moms choose Jeph?
Eric Sieck
2025-03-20 04:41:12 +0000 UTCI wonder how it goes for Liz to concentrate on her work
Bagge
2025-03-20 04:27:37 +0000 UTCSure, Marten's considered peanut butter, but I'll bet Sven already did it. With Crunchy.
Finvaara
2025-03-20 04:24:16 +0000 UTCOr does she? https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5082
BookBeard
2025-03-20 04:23:48 +0000 UTCNothing says it has to be wasted.
Christopher Ellis
2025-03-20 04:15:51 +0000 UTCJiffy Lube
Ace of Hearts
2025-03-20 04:10:44 +0000 UTCTo be fair, there's no way to be sure which of your body parts the birds may or may not want to taste. And yet *still* I'm not allowed back in that aviary...
BookBeard
2025-03-20 04:09:36 +0000 UTCAh, of course, a chanticleer.
BookBeard
2025-03-20 04:04:20 +0000 UTC"Two great tastes that taste great together"?
Doug DeJulio
2025-03-20 04:02:16 +0000 UTCwhat's another word for rooster
Minzoku Bokumetsu
2025-03-20 03:53:43 +0000 UTCDammit Sternberg, don't leave us hanging!
Brian Yaras
2025-03-20 03:51:21 +0000 UTCWell this was NOT the way I thought this was going. But this is a safe space, Marten. Thanks for sharing.
Hawkeye
2025-03-20 03:40:30 +0000 UTCIt's a joint photographic experts group. You know, a group of people who understand photography but can't determine how to pronounce "gif" so they had to come up with a format with a more easily pronounced name.
Matthew Reiter
2025-03-20 03:40:10 +0000 UTCIs "yes" the wrong answer?
Matthew Reiter
2025-03-20 03:38:47 +0000 UTCI knew exactly what each one would be.
Daryl Sawyer
2025-03-20 03:38:07 +0000 UTCDo I look like I know what a JPEG is?
Daryl Sawyer
2025-03-20 03:37:09 +0000 UTCAt least it's just putting it in there, and not spreading it on and then letting a dog lick it off. Yes, I heard of a guy doing that, local news. Went about as well as you'd expect.
Daryl Sawyer
2025-03-20 03:35:29 +0000 UTCThis is hands down the most charitable outcome I have ever heard for the experiment
Phaine Of Catz
2025-03-20 03:32:35 +0000 UTCyou mean natural latex and water based lube?
Ralph Cornwell
2025-03-20 03:30:16 +0000 UTCOne time a friend offered me $20 and a new jar of peanut butter to do this and describe what it was like for her and my exact response was that it would still be a waste of peanut butter
Phaine Of Catz
2025-03-20 03:28:57 +0000 UTCP&BJ?
Rob Vary
2025-03-20 03:26:58 +0000 UTCthe birds dont want to taste your dick either. and the condom chemicals if that was used could be not safe for them to injest.
Ashley Thomas
2025-03-20 03:19:05 +0000 UTCWell, what?
Creeperkry
2025-03-20 03:14:00 +0000 UTCDon't waste food. Use it to make a pine cone bird feeder.
Shawn K. Younkin
2025-03-20 03:05:22 +0000 UTCAt least in Canada you can get fluconazole without a prescription.
Graydon Armstrong
2025-03-20 02:55:49 +0000 UTCWell, he wasn't exactly going to admit to anything *weird* though was he?
Simon Green
2025-03-20 02:46:19 +0000 UTCIt is absolutely Wild to me that That was the impulse he decided to admit to
Green
2025-03-20 02:36:30 +0000 UTCI think the joke goes, "Everyone wants to pronounce GIF with a 'j' sound. But if the Almighty Himself came down and said, 'It's pronounced 'jiff,' the only logical response would be, 'Okay, Jod!'"
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-20 02:35:26 +0000 UTC"Secret Roadkill Necrophiliac" is my RFK Jr. Cover Band.
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-20 02:33:55 +0000 UTCI remembered the salon stylist. I'd totally forgotten about the beardpubes.
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-20 02:32:42 +0000 UTCReally, both uses leave audiences "harrowed and forever changed", so let's call it even.
William Cole
2025-03-20 02:32:20 +0000 UTCSurely someone has heard the joke, "What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?"
Elf Sternberg
2025-03-20 02:31:57 +0000 UTCThe result: a BJ that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
kaitou
2025-03-20 02:28:07 +0000 UTCChoosy moms choose JPEGs?
Matthew Reiter
2025-03-20 02:27:14 +0000 UTCThey’re going to have to give Jeph two Eisners.
Gary Walker
2025-03-20 02:25:41 +0000 UTCIf this is gonna be that kind of party...
Cizeta8088
2025-03-20 02:24:48 +0000 UTCSo, did moray get a data burst from Pintsize?
Tannerbot
2025-03-20 02:24:39 +0000 UTCThat’s just nuts. Er…so to speak.
FreeReedz
2025-03-20 02:21:54 +0000 UTCNot inaccurate.
William Cole
2025-03-20 02:20:29 +0000 UTCCrunchy for your pleasure
SpookyPenguin
2025-03-20 02:19:53 +0000 UTCAnd human tissue!
William Cole
2025-03-20 02:19:03 +0000 UTCGDI Sean you’re spread ALL OVER this comment section 😵💫
Ailadi
2025-03-20 02:15:10 +0000 UTCWe must have blocked that one from memory. Oh well, time to follow where it goes…
Ailadi
2025-03-20 02:14:19 +0000 UTCeven his intrusive impulses are fairly pure. that would hurt no one, he should go for it. and then throw out the peanut butter.
Ashley Thomas
2025-03-20 02:13:18 +0000 UTCThere are worse things to do with hair trimmings. https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1983 Or... y'know... *much* worse things... https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=832
BookBeard
2025-03-20 02:06:05 +0000 UTC…and JPEG stands for “joint photographic experts group”, so obviously it’s pronounced “jay-feg”
Magic Chopstick Games
2025-03-20 02:05:06 +0000 UTCWarning: contains peanuts, and nuts
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 02:04:57 +0000 UTC🤢 You’re not wrong though (we think, we don’t possess the equipment to test such theories).
Ailadi
2025-03-20 02:04:43 +0000 UTCI just realized what a jarring revelation this is.
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 02:02:40 +0000 UTCJif sounds a bit like “just if”, Gif is “Graphic Interchange Format” 😆
Ailadi
2025-03-20 02:02:20 +0000 UTCMonths. Years. Decades.
Joseph Houk
2025-03-20 02:01:56 +0000 UTC"Two great tastes that... we'll enjoy behind closed doors."
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 01:59:58 +0000 UTCIt's a pity he didn't bring this up at Coffee of Doom, because Faye and Dora could have riffed on dicks in peanut butter for hours.
Ross TenEyck-McDowell
2025-03-20 01:57:33 +0000 UTCHe is referring to the law of Quantum Fetish Mechanics. And Marten clearly had the peanut butter thing on his mind even then. (jury still out on elbows) https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=715
BookBeard
2025-03-20 01:56:28 +0000 UTCMarten's a white male, aged 18 to 49.
Graydon Armstrong
2025-03-20 01:55:07 +0000 UTCMarie… no… GDI
Miyaa
2025-03-20 01:53:56 +0000 UTCNot interested in checking (I eat too much peanut butter to stick myself with THAT visual) but I'd be surprised if a peanut butter fucking site hasn't been in existence for a long time already.
Steve McSheffrey
2025-03-20 01:51:56 +0000 UTCIIRC it used to have a peanut on top.
Graydon Armstrong
2025-03-20 01:51:30 +0000 UTCThe early brand history is wild. https://foleyhoag.com/news-and-insights/blogs/making-your-mark-blog/2014/march/skippy-v-skippy-the-great-peanut-butter-trademark-wars/
Graydon Armstrong
2025-03-20 01:49:55 +0000 UTCPer *rule 34* you mean!
Simon Green
2025-03-20 01:49:46 +0000 UTCBecause USA ideas of flavor are salt, sugar, and fat. **shudder**
Ailadi
2025-03-20 01:48:53 +0000 UTCPer Dora, there is a porn website for this now.
Captain Button
2025-03-20 01:42:29 +0000 UTCWhen on tresses she chews But they clog up her ooze That's A Moray!
BookBeard
2025-03-20 01:42:16 +0000 UTCMarten, we were having a perfectly normal conversation about vore, and you had to go and make it about sex.
Graydon Armstrong
2025-03-20 01:41:24 +0000 UTCI am told that in Australia "Skippy" means "Skippy The Bush Kangaroo", who was like Lassie, except, you know, a kangaroo. I wonder how this effected peanut butter marketing there?
Captain Button
2025-03-20 01:40:10 +0000 UTCOr is it pronounced "Gif"? I have a peanut allergy - I don't know.
Chris Reed (aka Animeraider)
2025-03-20 01:38:17 +0000 UTCI’m crying-laughing at this one. Great job, Jeph!
Cory Thorp
2025-03-20 01:34:09 +0000 UTCClaire: "Again? That girl needs a hobby."
Zygo
2025-03-20 01:30:03 +0000 UTC......... Back in your corner you - and give me those crayons!
Darnel D Cooper
2025-03-20 01:29:04 +0000 UTCDamn. Surprised she didn't volunteer. (Don't hate me, she seems to be up for anything for/about her friends. She's played pillow and jacket, she controls her moisture levels by concentration she can detach and attach parts of herself.) Good then I'm not a geek/nerd/scientist - I'd want to know her min and max both in size, intelligence, and strength. I feel that Moray at 6'5 would probably be a lot smarter and have strength approaching Bubbles.
Darnel D Cooper
2025-03-20 01:27:14 +0000 UTCAwkward way to discover peanut allergies in the household.
Commodore_Perry
2025-03-20 01:26:54 +0000 UTCPintsize would be LIVID to find out that this conversation happened and he wasn't part of it.
Bill Silvia
2025-03-20 01:26:31 +0000 UTCMarten and Roko could make the most cursed peanut butter sandwich ever :D
Devin Gates
2025-03-20 01:24:18 +0000 UTCI'll never think of that jingle the same way again. I hope you're proud of yourself!
ValdVin
2025-03-20 01:23:04 +0000 UTCAnyone remember that Reese's commercial? "You got peanut butter on my cockolate!" "You got cockolate in my peanut butter!"
Mad Marie
2025-03-20 01:22:18 +0000 UTC"Oh! I'm the general consistency of smooth peanut butter!"
Devin Gates
2025-03-20 01:21:42 +0000 UTCDied out as a brand about 25 years ago
Devin Gates
2025-03-20 01:20:46 +0000 UTCClaire: so, is there something we need to talk about?
Andrea Andrew
2025-03-20 01:19:56 +0000 UTC"You put Peanut Butter in my chocolate!" "You put ch....OH MY GOD!"
Sorastro
2025-03-20 01:17:47 +0000 UTCHe gets it through Grinder
Todd Ellner
2025-03-20 01:16:35 +0000 UTChttps://ehs.princeton.edu/sites/g/files/toruqf5671/files/media_files/Corrosive.jpg This also applies to dicks, not just hands
Bridgette Ryan
2025-03-20 01:16:02 +0000 UTCI think I just got whiplash from the change in direction there.
Doc Gumby
2025-03-20 01:15:57 +0000 UTCYes, I was up in Montreal in the mid -90s and our friends had it there. And that's how I learned "écureuil" is "squirrel" in French. (I don't actually know if it was #1.)
ValdVin
2025-03-20 01:15:28 +0000 UTChttps://media.bunnings.com.au/api/public/content/0f6c5fb496ef46ae9479670de722c2f4?v=4c646551&t=w700dpr2 So, even funnier when I looked up the product... It's an all-purpose cream cleaner... Creamy, mmmmmmm
Bridgette Ryan
2025-03-20 01:14:34 +0000 UTCWhy do they put sugar in peanut butter?
Todd Ellner
2025-03-20 01:14:16 +0000 UTCThere's an old joke that this brings to mind... Dave worked for 27 years at the local pickle factory. One day, he came home early, and his wife asked him why. "They fired me," said Dave. "But why?" asked his wife. "Well, I have a confession. For the last ten years, I've had an ongoing fantasy about putting my penis in the pickle slicer..." "What? Oh David..." "...And today I just couldn't take it any more, and so I... stuck my penis in the pickle slicer." "Oh my god- what happened?!?" "Well, they fired me." "No! I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?!?" "Oh, they fired her too."
Duke
2025-03-20 01:14:13 +0000 UTCOr only if you get the no-sugar kind
Todd Ellner
2025-03-20 01:13:55 +0000 UTCIn the UK, it used to be called Jif, then it was rebranded as Cif in 2001 (to match the rest of Europe). It's interesting that Australia/NZ still use the older name.
John C. Kirk
2025-03-20 01:12:56 +0000 UTCJust leaving this out there… Nutella.
Populuxe
2025-03-20 01:11:43 +0000 UTCBut crunchy would provide adequate friction!
Shawn K. Younkin
2025-03-20 01:11:28 +0000 UTCAt least if it was smooth it wouldn’t …” clog things up”
Murray Pens
2025-03-20 01:09:32 +0000 UTCWait, Squirrel peanut butter?
Miyaa
2025-03-20 01:08:47 +0000 UTCJeph? You okay, dude?
A Dark Planet, Lit By No Sun
2025-03-20 01:08:23 +0000 UTCThat was horrible. Have a like
Dorian
2025-03-20 01:08:19 +0000 UTCWe need to get you away from the computer. For everyone's safety /j
Alcaria Swain
2025-03-20 01:08:07 +0000 UTCSmooth or crunchy?
Maurice Kessler
2025-03-20 01:08:02 +0000 UTCBut what do jiffy mothers choose?
Ben R
2025-03-20 01:07:49 +0000 UTCCursed
Alcaria Swain
2025-03-20 01:07:29 +0000 UTCNow sticking your dick in a jar of marshmallow fluff? Totally different story..
Not that Patrick Foltz
2025-03-20 01:07:13 +0000 UTCGrowing up is less a requirement and more if a suggestion. Immaturity suits some people more than others. So long as you aren't churning through friend groups, be as immature as you want!
Alcaria Swain
2025-03-20 01:07:12 +0000 UTCFun fact: The most popular brand of peanut butter in Canada is Kraft Peanut Butter. Another fact is they stop selling Skippy peanut butter in Canada after 2017 because of competition and unable to price Skippy for profitability.
Miyaa
2025-03-20 01:06:59 +0000 UTCOf course. For science.
Joel Bateman
2025-03-20 01:06:18 +0000 UTCI mean, I can’t say the idea ever occurred to me but that’s not the most absurd pocket pussy i’ve ever heard of
AlexKorobeiniki
2025-03-20 01:06:10 +0000 UTCSame in NZ. Came here to make this exact comment; had to spend some effort uncrossing my legs first.
Leaflemming
2025-03-20 01:05:52 +0000 UTCI wonder when I'll grow up 🤔
Not that Patrick Foltz
2025-03-20 01:05:47 +0000 UTCPenis Butter?
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 01:05:26 +0000 UTCHow's it a waste of peanut butter?
Ash359
2025-03-20 01:04:20 +0000 UTCMartin, Yes! 🥜🥜🥜🥜
Not that Patrick Foltz
2025-03-20 01:04:20 +0000 UTCfun fact: penises can get yeast infections! please Do Not the peanutbutter!
Logan Nix
2025-03-20 01:04:10 +0000 UTCAt least the most interesting!
Not that Patrick Foltz
2025-03-20 01:03:59 +0000 UTCHer indignant face in the first panel, adorableness level 10000
JMK
2025-03-20 01:03:58 +0000 UTCMoray learning about intrusive thoughts can only lead to good things
J
2025-03-20 01:03:55 +0000 UTC"He lubed himself with natural oil, and spread the... spread."
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 01:03:45 +0000 UTCJif? Since the demise of Squirrel / écureuil brand, Kraft is Canada's favorite peanut butter. Marten can get Jif up there, if he really wants.
ValdVin
2025-03-20 01:03:35 +0000 UTCWith Claire’s (and Moray’s) consent of course
J
2025-03-20 01:03:34 +0000 UTCA Jiff gif
Not that Patrick Foltz
2025-03-20 01:03:26 +0000 UTCThat was *exactly* my thought.
Ron Braithwaite
2025-03-20 01:02:33 +0000 UTCAre we talking natural peanut butter that you have to stir? I mean you could carve out and opening, and leave the oil....
Not that Patrick Foltz
2025-03-20 01:02:23 +0000 UTCAlso the nut
Wynn Donivan
2025-03-20 01:01:41 +0000 UTCthe content is particularly questionable this week 😙🤌
Lucas Werkmeister
2025-03-20 01:01:41 +0000 UTCTalk to weird people, have weird conversations
Taigan
2025-03-20 01:01:38 +0000 UTCOh god... in Australia, I am pretty sure Jif is a caustic cleaning product, so that joke lands very differently.
Bridgette Ryan
2025-03-20 01:01:27 +0000 UTCWincing
Miyaa
2025-03-20 01:00:55 +0000 UTC'I need help removing an allergy-swollen cylinder from a jar of Extra Crunchy without damaging the cylinder.'
Diptych
2025-03-20 01:00:53 +0000 UTCPutting his Peter in the Pan.
Dave Van Domelen
2025-03-20 01:00:49 +0000 UTCMarten says that, but Moray doesn't know about his mom.
Tabetha Rosenberg
2025-03-20 01:00:31 +0000 UTCPutting the fluffer in fluffernutter.
Sean Kinlin
2025-03-20 01:00:23 +0000 UTCThey're sharing their kinks with each other, my fanfiction is inching ever closer to reality
That one guy
2025-03-20 01:00:18 +0000 UTC"Nuts and Cum: Together At Last!"
Peter McDevitt
2025-03-20 01:00:16 +0000 UTCCould always try with a cute slime girl?
Joel Bateman
2025-03-20 01:00:14 +0000 UTC…Does he like it chunky or creamy? The peanut butter sex joke market is so untapped. :rofl:
David D.
2025-03-20 01:00:01 +0000 UTCCareful you might develop a peanut allergy
Michael
2025-03-20 00:59:58 +0000 UTCOr the best. Why is it swelling?
Darth Hypno
2025-03-20 00:59:54 +0000 UTCAs one does
Magic Chopstick Games
2025-03-20 00:59:52 +0000 UTC"Raw-dogging a jar of Jif" Sweet mercy Jeff, that was inspired 😂
Kurist Zero
2025-03-20 00:59:51 +0000 UTCThank goodness he wasn’t trying to dip his dingaling into Peter Pan.
Miyaa
2025-03-20 00:59:42 +0000 UTCI missed Marten's uncensored thoughts. Growing up is usually just learning to have a filter, half the time.
Alcaria Swain
2025-03-20 00:59:40 +0000 UTCgif
Brendan Luster
2025-03-20 00:59:32 +0000 UTCYeast infection from hell. But... Worth it??
Jackie aka Jax
2025-03-20 00:59:29 +0000 UTCI mean, I thought he was going to go with the Call of the Void, but you do you.
Andrew Denton
2025-03-20 00:59:25 +0000 UTCEvery day is a battle with the intrusive thoughts
Elberik
2025-03-20 00:59:21 +0000 UTC..... Marten, No.
Am Queue
2025-03-20 00:59:13 +0000 UTCProbably the worst way to find you have a peanut allergy.
Jonathan Marinaro
2025-03-20 00:59:09 +0000 UTC
