Who Helps The Helpsmen?

Found it! It didn't help that I'd forgotten that I'd entitled it Togetherness- "A lonely electron through empty space did roam, "Oh where is a snug place that I might call home? A lonely electron through empty space did roam, "Oh where is a snug place that I might call home? To be a free electron is all very well, But I'd gladly swap some energy for a sweet cosy shell." A solitary proton did hear its lament, "My S shell will hold you close if you'll assent," "Your orbital, dear proton, will suit me to a T, A hydrogen atom together we'll be!" 2.But the hydrogen atom still felt incomplete, "Two electrons, spin up, and spin down, would be neat! However one positive, two negatives, I'm afraid, Would be quite unstable however arrayed." Another H atom was in the same plight, To solve both their problems the first did invite: "Let's share our electrons covalently, A hydrogen molecule together we'll be!" 3.But the hydrogen molecule still felt quite unsound, "Our electro-negativity is less than profound! Our dear shared electrons might flee our embrace, Our potential's too small for a safe stable space! An oxygen atom to soothe them did call, "My P shell has room for two more if they're small, "Let's share our electrons covalently, A water molecule together we'll be, a water molecule together we'll be!""

Mark

don't even check the price!!

Joe

I was confused here, because in my sleep addled brain I was thinking mass effect 3, and was like, I don't remember that mission.

Bridgette Ryan

Martin is by far my favorite character of the comics. And he date Claire!

Marcio Mendonça

She could have nipples if you ask her to.

Stephen Wells

This is literally the first plot arc of MA3. Finding Zii a job.

Opus the Poet

@LazyLich exponential porn. With non-Euclidean sexual conjunctions.

Opus the Poet

Busted!

Opus the Poet

"What's going to happen, Dave?" "Smut-thing wonderful."

Mad Marie

Who smuts the smutmen?

Mad Marie

Don't Pay The Querymen!

Captain Button

That's gotta be a good scene :)

Stephen Wells

@Mark do you by any chance have the lyrics available :) for the purposes of science education you understand

Stephen Wells

I do like the touch that Claire has hired a philosopher to help her categorise whatever the blank Cubetown is doing :)

Stephen Wells

He accepted the role when he decided to set up the coffee shop that Cubetown was missing! :)

Stephen Wells

The solution is for Liz to write smut about the incredible things Moray's body can do, and in the process they will develop devastating new insights in the fields of soft matter, fluid dynamics, and, er, smut.

Stephen Wells

Data: "Of all performers available, who is considered funniest?" Computer: "Twenty-third century Stan Orega specialized in jokes about quantum mathematics." Data: "No. Too esoteric. More generic."

David Durant

I bet the coffee was at least several days old and Liz had made one big pot that she'd just left on the burner and drunk from. *shudders*

enchantedsleeper

Marten's so busy playing high-level 4D chess that he wasn't focusing on such mundane details xD

enchantedsleeper

HAHAHAHAHA OMG what is even going on. ~<3

Mitsuki Ayane

As a librarian assistant Moray may be reaching her peak right now.

ValdVin

Deploying one person being kind of useless to manage another person being totally useless would seem more of a master stroke if Marten hadn't forgotten to flip the sign just sayin

R. Francis Smith

When a squishy ro-BOT Has to watch you read smut That's a Moray!

David

Never stopped? ;)

OldGoat

Well, for someone who's green and totally lacking nipples she is quite attractive.

OldGoat

"Of course she is, she's their adopted gremlin daughter !"

Matthew Ramada

"Utopian, European, take your pick" As a New Englander, (so, proximally adjacent to where this comic actually takes place,) I can say that we would love some of your European utopianism around here and it's really frustrating watching our several hundred million neighbors entirely fail to grasp what the word "socialism" means.

Matthew Ramada

"I'd counter that he understood that, from the get-go." Sure, but Marten in general "understands" things in a fundamentally passively hipster way. He might have known, in the depths of his psyche, that this is what he was going to be getting up to, but I'm not convinced he thought all that much about it before it happened. And in 5000+ comics that's been a consistently successful strategy for him, so I don't see why he'd change it up.

Matthew Ramada

"When your coffee guy just hangs out for a while... that's a Moray."

Matthew Ramada

I thought that Claire was going to do something about better defining what Moray's job is, and helping her to do it.

Mark

“… our top story! Scientists turn back time… and emit!” – Colin Mochrie on one of the Drew Carey hosted “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”

Miyaa

Bookbeard: do I still owe you a round at Callahan’s Bar, or has that not happened yet?

Stewart MacWilliam

Proper science requires repetition, research, sharing results, and more repetition!

Michael Steamweed

Proper comic knowledge and coffee-making skills can be learned.

Michael Steamweed

Makes you wonder just how bad her setup was.

Michael Steamweed

He could get one of the CubeTown machine shops to make him any equipment he wants. But...that would have consequences, implications, and repercussions.

Michael Steamweed

#perfectavatarisperfect

Michael Steamweed

That's how at least half the Coffee of Doom employees got their start. Marten is just following best practices. :D

Michael Steamweed

It is why she is The Librarian.

Michael Steamweed

We don't kink-shame here. We kink-same instead.

Michael Steamweed

UUgh, I love Moray so much

Amós Batista

It could be real life: you work very hard to be efficient, still the result is bad.

Amós Batista

Loved the Latin quote

Amós Batista

Well, I mean, it is _now._

Halloween Jack

Hey, reading smut while Moray looks over my shoulder is my kink.

Halloween Jack

I’m not European, yet, but really hope to retire there. Whatever happens always seems to be enough & while that may not reach Utopian standards for all, it certainly sounds like it would feel just right to me.

Melissa Wilson

Honestly, yes. I love your take much better than mine. Marten adopting Liz was just one facet of him adopting the entire community. He is cubetown's chill dad now.

Bagge

there's something so beautiful and safe-feeling about being known. not this time though

Boots McGoot

"Bring Claire her coffee" and "take Claire her coffee" are both correct, they describe the same situation from different angles. Free choice.

Stephen Wells

😂🤣😂🤣

Carrie

"Would you like to come up and see my collider?"

alphanor

I should have added "in coffee quality", but true, the accessibility is a big improvement x3

enchantedsleeper

Neither Moray or Liz works at Mood Coffee but between them Marten has all the chaos he could ask for. Why hire anyone xD

enchantedsleeper

Germany Has Entered The Chat

enchantedsleeper

Mmmm spaghettification... https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5189

David Paul

The Librarian Knows

enchantedsleeper

Absolutely, also she knows Marten needs help with Liz. She's a genius.

SpookyPenguin

Well, you don't have to wade through waist-deep garbage to get to it. That feels like an improvement.

BookBeard

I can just picture Moray looking over Liz's shoulder and asking her to explain the smut...

Alasdair Mackintosh

Moray becomes VERY high on caffeine.

enchantedsleeper

I have a feeling that Claire asked Moray to bring her some coffee knowing full well that it would take about an hour.

enchantedsleeper

It's Pintsize's self-insert wish-fulfilment erotica: "The Adventurer Who Could (Fuck A Black Hole)". So, yes

enchantedsleeper

Wasn't Mood Coffee supposed to be a step *up* from Liz's basement coffee machine 🤔

enchantedsleeper

We should have Coffee of Doom ones too! I badly want a T-shirt with "advice: 69" on it

enchantedsleeper

And to think Moray was resentful of Zlata because she wanted to be Claire's assistant 😆 Though maybe she would find that fine as long as she had something to do. But I don't get the feeling she would be very good at staying on-task.

enchantedsleeper

It's funny because it's true! (I'm European too so I can say that)

prettydragoon

And this is why, after a certain point, my brain just gives up on grammar. Certain things get to me, but I don't have the patience to sit and analyse the exact breakdown of a sentence's components. I'd rather be doing anything else xD

enchantedsleeper

Or as Claire might say, their gremdaughter.

Ralf Paul

Genius?! 😍

Freid

Wouldn't it be "take the coffee from here" and "bring it to Claire"? You don't usually take TO (although it's a less/fewer situation where it's far from exclusive).

Bill Silvia

I wonder what happens when a liquid droid falls into an espresso machine?

Yelling Bird

I'd counter that he understood that, from the get-go. Now that doesn't stop him from being grumbly about it from time to time--but he's been already like that for quite some time prior to Cubetown. As one with a spouse whose career has some similarities to Claire's social role, I can attest that it kinda comes with the territory; regardless of one's personality, the partner-of kinda just steps into that most of the time. And Marten does seem to have a natural temperament for this. They discerned this together, with lots of clues along the way that they'd be de-facto mom and dad for the community.

Mad Marie

Utopian, European, take your pick (European here, and I am joking, but only a little bit)

Joakim Björkgren

Perhaps Marten could channel his inner John Lennon and form a skiffle band called "The Querymen"

Mad Marie

Or possibly in the shape of a moose and a squirrel.

Mark

I wrote a choir song a few years ago where an electron is feeling lonely then finds a proton to hook up with, then in the second verse the resulting hydrogen atom is still feeling unfulfilled and so hooks up with another hydrogen atom, and the happy ending polycule in the 3rd verse is a water molecule. Edit: I honestly didn't intend to rhyme 'polycule' with 'molecule', the former of course having been derived from the latter anyway.

Mark

"Quis auxiliet ipsos auxilies?"

Mad Marie

"Who Researches the Researchwomen?"

Mad Marie

"Grandma, what large hadrons you have!" "All the better to collide you with, my dear!"

Mad Marie

Indeed, common usage is ultimately the test of correctness. Definitions and grammatical rules do not exist to control how people use language, they exist to *describe* how people use language. As a language evolves, so too must the rules.

BookBeard

I used to call it "channeling my muse".

William Cole

Common usage makes it correct.

Donna Flint

Nah, it just kinda "rubs off"

Donna Flint

Claire knew that her job would be to keep cubetown weirdos semi-functional when she took it. I bet Marten didn't think it would be his job too

Bagge

Nice!

William Cole

he never said he was hiring Moray, just that he needs her help TO BE FAIR

Minzoku Bokumetsu

???? I'm sorry but y'all need to get real problems. Language is not a permanent, unchanging thing, and that usage of "bring" has been extremely common for decades

Fart Captor

DON'T BE A NARC, MARTEN

Fart Captor

I hate that it took me until the last line to realize, and now this is going through my head. Thank you for that!

Bridgette Ryan

This comic feels so utopian. Everyone is just doing everything in the most inefficient possible way and whatever it's fine.

Mark

she's not "clingy", she's "adhesive"

LH

Ooh, good idea

jonesnori

He’s just like Dora, hiring anyone who walks in the door

chili sunrise

It’s one of her charming quarks

Magic Chopstick Games

She's not clingy. She just has a high surface tension when she gets attached.

Ursus Ridens

And advertise the reading -- it could bring in some business, no?

Ursus Ridens

Did you mean "What enormous bosons!"? (Liz seems to really be into big bosons.)

Ursus Ridens

My, what a large hadron

Magic Chopstick Games

More than friends, less than lovers sort of situation

Alcaria Swain

Of course she is, she's their adopted gremlin daughter !

Etienne M.J. Dubourg

I know a comic book store owner who worked on the same principles. Comic knowledge not necessary if you were a cute alt girl. ... He does own the largest comic book store in the Tri-County area...

Alan

Liz be thirsting for artificial security women. Fictional women are just a stopgap measure.

Alan

FATHER! THE SLACKER HAS AWAKENED!

Alan

#theykissedanditwasverysexy

ValdVin

Ok I know the polycule joke's already been made, but knowing Liz that well really does sound and feel like she's part of their dynamic. IJS

Azrux

Like I said.. HOT

Thomas Baxter

Meanwhile, in Marigold's brain: "P-p-proton senpai... my elementary charge..." https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3767

BookBeard

My theory is that this is just temporary while he's waiting for a coffee maker and espresso machine, in the shape of a beaver and moose respectively, that he commissioned from Faye.

BookBeard

Read aloud! Read aloud! Read aloud! Read aloud! 👏👏👏

Melissa Wilson

Reading smut when you're supposed to be doing work? Well I neeeeeeever!

Benzy

Is it just me, or is everyone else hoping that the solution will be for our favorite gremlin to read her literotica aloud?

Melissa Wilson

I, too, needed some seconds to get past that "bring" error. Marten, Marten...tsk, tsk.

Michael Steamweed

Who's smashing whom? At the quantum scale, you can't say for certain!

Michael Steamweed

Or...maybe Liz will corrupt Moray into reading smut with her. By March of this year, Moray and Liz will be collabing on AO3. (Their debut piece, "Pubetown: Hole-istic Research", was an instant hit and quickly shot to AO3's Top 100 in 24 hours. Even though half of the tags made no sense.)

Michael Steamweed

OooOOOoooh… Has Claire been teaching him the weirding ways?

Melissa Wilson

Ooh, yes please. Maybe with the menu on the back!

Doc Gumby

She's always struck me as a bit over-clingy. Maybe it's simply because Marten & Co. are the first people to show Moray any kind of respect, and she doesn't know how to handle it. And when she feels it fading (like not having anything to do), she *really* doesn't know how to handle it.

awgiedawgie

Would be nice to see Zlata again. I bet she’s thriving as the supreme assistant to The Librarian.

Miyaa

"The Proton needed a change of pace. Being with the Electron, orbit after orbit, just wasn't satisfying any more. That's when the positron entered their sphere of influence and changed their... life... forever" Ok, that confirms it. I have not idea what elementary particles find titillating. I shot my shot, but I will never write the great particle physics sex scene that I have in my head. It will have to be just for me (and its hot, like fusion hot).

Thomas Baxter

Rule 10^34

LazyLich

Is that what the kids are calling it these days? "Don't come in mom! I'm just getting inspired!"

BookBeard

awgiedawgie

Or, as it will be known after Liz publishes her next paper, "Appleboom's First Law of Pornodynamics". There are sixty nine laws in total.

BookBeard

We just call it rule 34.

rhekke

Obligatory 'drip' comment

Shinymelon Fearnow

When she hangs out at Mood To stop Liz being lewd That's A Moray!

BookBeard

It may be me, but Moray has been giving off serious stalker vibes the past couple of strips. Like icky, sticky, 'peel off the goop' vibes.

Am Queue

Of *course* there is astrophysics smut. Law of quantum pornography. Or whatever Dora called it.

Captain Button

Perhaps smut is Liz's new area of research!

Packy Anderson

Is it astrophysics smut?

Captain Button

And if you read smut backwards, you need Tums.

Sean Kinlin

Dammit. Did I leave my webcam on again?

BobC

My wife would twit me about that. “I can tell you’re writing a sex scene,” she’d say, ‘because sometimes you forget to breathe.”

Elf Sternberg

For the love of god Marten, please obtain an espresso machine, or at least a grinder and some V60s....

MikeT

Liz be thirsting for fictional women.

Andrea Andrew

Mood Coffee t-shirts and mugs on Topatoco when? :-)

Olaf

Knowing Liz, Moray is about to be dragged into reading some smut.

Doc Gumby

Marten Don't call us out like this

Cas Wanden

Depends whom you're researching.

joe velsher

Challenge accepted?

joe velsher

Is it just me? Moray is so darn cuddly!😍

Peter Shaw

When did "reading smut" and "research" become mutually exclusive?

ValdVin

And now Martin learns the first lesson of owning a coffee shop... cute baristas get more customers... then he will rapidly learn the second lesson, don't hire cute goop-bots.

Bridgette Ryan

Liz and I have the same weakness.

Orion Rhine

Hey she's reading literature to get inspired

Michael

Smut gremlin

Zig Justice

Haha me too though Liz. Don't feel bad

Cancertopia

Poor Moray. A beam of sunshine in the gray sky of the mandatory meeting.

JMK