Act Natural - Ch. 3 (4k words)

Chapter 3: The Eight Efforts

GROVER

“Hey, Thomas,” I called out, “Was I supposed to get all the way naked, or just down to my underwear?”

“Oh my god!” Thomas’s muffled voice rang out from behind the curtain, “That better be a joke!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” I said breezily, “I never wear underwear.”

 “Grover!”

I cackled to myself and continued changing. I wasn’t actually going commando, of course. Laundry day was still a few days away. It was just fun to keep Mister Serious on his toes. 

As much as Thomas annoyed me, I had to admit he knew what he was doing when it came to the whole “acting” thing. All that boring prepwork he made me do had totally paid off in rehearsal. Professor Lennox got us to run through a few scenes, and I realised that now I knew what Serena had been through, it was a lot easier to put myself in her shoes. This time around, my lines weren’t just words on a page, I actually knew why I was saying them. Sometimes I even found myself getting a little emotional, like the things I was saying actually mattered. Honestly, it was pretty embarrassing. 

Still, I could tell that Ruby was impressed. Lennox got us to perform our scenes in front of the class, and I saw Ruby nodding in approval after I finished mine. She was a lot less impressed when I jokingly pretended to accept an Oscar for my performance, but it was definitely an improvement. There was still a long way to go before I was going to risk asking her out again, though. I only had one more chance, and with a girl as beautiful as Ruby, I didn’t want to waste it. 

So I was back in Rehearsal Room 6 for another lesson with Thomas. But this time, things were a little different. This time we had costumes.

“Why do I have to wear this now, anyway?” I called out, “You sure this isn’t just cause you’re desperate to see me wearing a dress?”

“Grover! Don’t be gross!” Thomas whined, “And I told you already! You need to listen better!”

“Alright, alright,” I sighed.

“Your costume is going to affect the way you move and the way you feel. Physically, I mean,” said Thomas. Oh boy. He was going into lecture mode, where his voice got all haughty and en-un-ci-a-ted. “If you’re not used to wearing it, it’s going to impact your performance. Especially if it’s something unfamiliar, like a dress, you’re going to be overly aware of your clothing, which will detract from the naturalistic movement you should be striving for.”

“Thanks, Professor,” I muttered. 

He had a point, though. I had never worn a dress before (okay, maybe a couple times playing dress-up as a little kid, before I grew out of it) and the feeling was definitely a little weird. The tight fabric clinging to my upper body, the loose skirt swirling around my legs, and the soft, fuzzy feeling of velvet against my fingers as I smoothed out the creases along my sleeves… all very weird. I checked myself out in the mirror and burst into laughter.

“What is it?” Thomas asked, his voice still muffled. He had pulled the curtain across so we would each have our own private area to change. I was very happy with this. The last thing I needed was the image of Thomas’s pale, gangly body haunting my nightmares.

I turned side to side, sending my dress twirling around my hips. 

“Tommy, I look hot!” I said, “You’re gonna be dreaming of me in this dress, buddy.”

“Ugh,” Thomas groaned, “You’re the worst.”

As expected, I looked completely ridiculous. Admittedly, it was an impressively good fit. Professor Lennox had put us in charge of sourcing our own costumes, and I had gladly ceded that responsibility to Thomas. He had years of experiencing thrifting and altering costumes for school plays and community theater productions, and I had zero interest spending my hard-earned free time scouring thrift shops for mouldy dresses. I had Netflixes to watch. Thomas had returned triumphant with a red velvet dress, which wasn’t exactly period-accurate, but which he said would fit Serena’s vibe enough to help the audience suspend their disbelief. 

They’d have to suspend it pretty damn high not to realise I was a man, though. I chuckled ruefully. It was a pretty dress, if you cared about that sort of thing, but it was still my same regular head poking out the top, with my wide jaw and stubby nose and short, spiky hair. Not exactly the way I pictured Serena looking. 

Well, at least it was funny. 

“Oh, Tommy boy,” I sang out, “I’m ready to make my grand reveal!”

“Wait, crud! Hang on!” I heard Thomas scrambling, “I’m not ready yet!”

I laughed and grabbed the drawstring of the curtain. 

“Seriously, dude, it’s just a stupid dress,” I said as I yanked it down. I leapt dramatically into the now open space where the curtain had been, giving my best supermodel pose. “You’re acting like an actual…”

My eyes landed on the person standing before me, and my jaw dropped.

I knew Thomas was a good actor, but he must have been a practicing magician too, because he had somehow disappeared. The girl I was looking at definitely wasn’t Thomas. No way, no how. There was simply no possibility Thomas could be that pretty. 

The girl planted a hand on her hip and glared at me, “I told you I wasn’t ready.”

She was using that voice again, that beautiful voice that had captivated me during readthrough. This time, it actually fit her. The girl was wearing a maid’s uniform. Not a sexy one, (although, honestly, the way she was wearing it…) just a sensible black dress, with a white cap and apron over top. It fit her perfectly, with the skirt flaring out around her legs but nipping in nicely at her waist, and the short puffed sleeves making her bare arms look slender and dainty instead of noodly. It was like her whole body had been transformed. Everything that had been awkward about Thomas suddenly looked elegant and graceful. Her pasty skin looked soft and pale like moonlight, and her once-messy hair now framed her face in gentle auburn waves. And that face… damn. I somehow hadn’t noticed how pretty she was, with her high cheekbones and freckles and dazzling emerald eyes. I was definitely noticing it now. 

The girl raised her eyebrows at me and I realised it wasn’t just the dress that had changed her. Her body language was completely different. Thomas was usually all hunched and squirrelly, like he was constantly tensed up. This girl was standing confidently, with a sassy tilt to her hips, and a cocky swagger that made me blush. 

No, this definitely wasn’t Thomas. Thomas wasn’t hot. 

“Maude?” I breathed.

The girl grimaced, and suddenly I saw a trace of the Thomas I knew and very much did not love.

“I don’t really go in for the whole method thing,” she said, “As Laurence Olivier once said, ‘My dear boy, have you tried acting?’”

She giggled to herself, clearly pleased with whatever weird reference she had made. God, she had a pretty laugh… 

I shook my head frantically, trying to get my thoughts straight. 

“I thought we were just wearing the stupid dresses! Not doing all… all…” I gestured at her helplessly, “All that. What happened to your hair?”

The girl blushed. Cute. Ugh! No! Not cute!

“Most student productions don’t have their own hair and makeup team, okay?” she said, “So, you know, I picked up a few tricks. I figured it suited the character.”

Now that she mentioned it, I could see that she was wearing makeup. She had done an amazing job. Her dark eyeliner and mascara really made her brilliant green eyes pop, and whatever she put on her lips made them look soft and pouty and oh-so-kissable…

Oh, god damn it. 

“Okay, I’m not calling you Thomas when you look like this,” I said, “It’s way too weird. As far as I’m concerned, you’re Maude for the rest of the lesson.”

Maude pouted, but she didn’t actually kick up a fuss. 

“Fine,” she said, “Do you want me to call you Serena?”

I hesitated, glancing at myself in the mirror. Suddenly this whole costume thing didn’t seem quite so funny. Compared to Maude, I looked extremely stupid. Her dress somehow made her look all shapely and statuesque, but mine just clung to me , showing off my square, boyish body. Not to mention my stupid head poking out the top. Something about that actually pissed me off. I mean, here I was putting all this effort into this play, and what was the point? No matter how hard I tried, it wasn’t gonna change the fact that I was clearly just a guy wearing a dress. 

Ugh. Crap like this was the entire reason I didn’t usually bother taking stuff seriously. It was never worth it in the end. 

“Forget it,” I said, “This was stupid. I don’t know why the hell I even asked you to do this in the first place. I’m gonna go change.”

I turned away from Maude, stomping towards my bag and my regular, comfortable clothes. As soon as I was out of here, I was gonna go find some of my friends, try and bum some weed, maybe sneak into a party if we could find one. Something fun and dumb and meaningless. 

“Hey, wait!” said Maude, “Where are you going?” 

“I’m exiting, stage left,” I said, “Sorry I wasted your time, but I obviously wasn’t born to be a star. I’m just gonna drop this class.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” she grabbed my arm and I froze. Her hands were so soft and warm. I could feel the hair standing up on the back of my neck. I turned around slowly and Maude glared at me. 

“I’m not letting you get out of this that easily,” she said haughtily, “Not when you’re actually making progress. I know you think you’re Mister Too-Cool-For-School, but this is the theater, okay? You can’t just bail out because you feel silly wearing a dress. Haven’t you ever heard of ‘The show must go on?’”

I nodded numbly. Somehow, Thomas’s usual self-righteous ranting wasn’t as annoying coming from Maude.

“You’re the one who asked me for help,” she continued, “Literally the one smart decision you’ve ever made since I met you. Don’t you remember why you wanted to do this in the first place.”

I did remember. To impress Ruby Oyama, the most beautiful girl in the world. 

“To do Serena justice,” Maude said. Her voice softened, and she looked at me plaintively with those dazzling green eyes, “Come on, Grover. Do it for her.”

God. I really was helpless when pretty girls were involved.

“Fine,” I said. Maude squealed and clapped her hands with excitement. I laughed and picked at my skirt, “But come on, you gotta admit I look nuts. How’s anyone gonna take Serena seriously when she looks like this?”

“Oh, whatever,” Maude fluttered her hand airily, shooing away my concerns, “I’ll teach you some makeup tricks, and I’ll try and find you a wig. You’ll look great.”

“I dunno if that’s gonna be enough,” I said, “I mean, look at me, My body is all wrong for this dress. I can’t even do the voice, and I’ve been practicing a bunch.”

Maude arched an eyebrow, “A bunch, huh?”

I avoided her eyes. Okay, maybe more like once or twice. Maybe a lot more like once than twice, actually. It wasn’t my fault, really. I had tried to do all the things that Maude had said, the resonance exercises. I made an “mmm” sound and focused on the buzzing in my lips, and then tried to hold my voice in that area instead of dropping it back into my chest. It sounded a little different, but it definitely didn’t sound like a girl. And then, y’know, I had other things to do. Things that weren’t so frustratingly difficult. Things that didn’t make me feel like crap if I screwed them up.

“If you want to get better, you need to practice,” she said firmly, “And your body is fine, it’s just your body language that’s not right. How much do you know about Laban Movement Analysis?”

I stared at her, “Maude. Babygirl. How much do you think I know about Laban Movement Analysis?”

Maude rolled her eyes and began to explain. Once again, I found that Maude in lecture mode was a lot more enjoyable than Thomas in lecture mode. Most of it still went over my head, though. From what I managed to take in, Laban Movement Analysis had something to do with the way character could be conveyed through human movement. The guy who invented it, who I could only assume was named something like Rudolf Movement Analysis, identified four key components of movement (Direction, Weight, Speed, and Flow) which could be combined in various ways to create different types of movement, which he called the Eight Efforts. 

“Each of the eight efforts tells you something about the character,” Maude explained, “So for example, a character who uses a lot of wringing motions, their movement is indirect, heavy, sustained, and bound. You wouldn’t want to overdo it, of course, because our goal is still naturalistic acting. But that type of movement would work for a character who’s really tense, or anxious, or repressed.”

“I know someone like that,” I said.

“Who?” Maude said, her freckled face looking adorably perplexed, “Serena? I guess that would make sense, with the whole lesbian-in-denial thing.”

“No, Serena’s more confident than that,” I mused, “She likes to appear relaxed and in control, like she’s above it all, even if she’s struggling on the inside. I think her movement would be more like floating.”

I looked up from my thinking and realised that Maude was grinning at me.

“What?” I said, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing!” she beamed, “It’s just.. you’re actually trying. I knew you had it in you!”

“Yeah, well, don’t spread this around,” I muttered. 

Maude was excited to get started on our movement exercises (to be honest, it was kind of infectious) but she insisted that it was important to stretch first. She said something about “warming up our instruments” again, but this time I didn’t make a joke. It felt a little bit too real, even if I knew that it was still Thomas under there. I followed her through the stretches, trying desperately not to notice the way her skirt rode up to show off her long, smooth legs, or how when she bent over to touch her toes, her hair fell forward to reveal the gentle curve of her neck. Hey, it had been a while since I had hooked up with anyone. Any horny college guy would be noticing the same things. 

Once we were all stretched out, Maude led me through some movement exercises. I tried my best (she had infected me, I swear) to embody the light, graceful floating movements I pictured Serena using, but it was tough. Any time I felt like I was getting close, I would catch a glimpse of myself, Grover Lee, prancing around in a red velvet dress, and the whole thing would come crashing down. After a while, Maude noticed my frustration and called our practice to a halt. 

“I think you’re getting in your own head,” she said. I shrugged. Maude put a finger to her lips, tapping her foot as she thought. Finally she nodded decisively, “Okay, I know something that might help. Come here.”

I approached her obediently, and she positioned me so I was facing away from the mirror. Now I couldn’t see myself anymore, just Maude, looking down at me with a satisfied smile. It wasn’t such a bad view. 

“We’re going to try a mirror exercise,” she announced.

“The mirror’s thataway, baby,” I said, thumbing over my shoulder. Maude scowled.

“I’m not talking about that mirror,” she said. She waved a hand between us, like she was polishing an imaginary surface. “I’m talking about this mirror. You’re going to be my reflection, okay? Whatever I do, you follow. That way you don’t need to feel self-conscious about what you’re doing. Just relax, and let your mind go blank, and move with me.”

Oh, god. Why did she have to say it like that? In that voice? Once Thomas came back, we were gonna need to have a serious talk about Maude’s behaviour. 

Maude started moving, sweeping a hand up and across her body. I followed along, trying to match my movements as close to hers as possible. She lifted her leg and I lifted mine. She swayed to the side and I swayed with her. Slowly, I got more and more in sync, anticipating her motions until we were moving almost in unison. 

“Good,” Maude murmured softly, “That’s good. Don’t focus on my body, just keep eye contact with me.”

I nodded and moved my eyes up to hers. Oh, wow. I had been noticing her gorgeous green eyes the whole lesson, but this was the first time I had actually been met with their full power. Those things were dangerous, bright and glittering like precious gems. Once I started, it was hard to look away. 

I could still see Maude’s body in my peripheral vision, and I kept copying her as I gazed into her beautiful eyes. I was dimly aware that her movements were becoming more feminine. Swaying hips, gently arcing wrists. I followed along dutifully. She was right, I wasn’t the one choosing to move this way. I was just her reflection. I had nothing to be self-conscious about. 

“That’s so good,” Maude smiled, “Okay, now you try.”

I froze, “What?”

“Shhh,” she soothed. She lifted her hand slowly, and raised her eyebrows meaningfully until I started following along again. “No pressure. Just start mixing in some of your own movements when you feel ready, okay? And I’ll follow along with you.”

I nodded slowly, and Maude nodded with me. She smiled supportively and I smiled back, although I wasn’t sure if the mirror stuff applied to facial expressions. I waved my arms experimentally, and Maude waved too. I twisted my hips, and she twisted with me. There was something surreal about it, moving my body and seeing this beautiful woman as my reflection. 

“That’s perfect, Grover,” Maude cooed. Her voice was full of support and encouragement, without a trace of irony, “Remember, think of how Serena would move.”

I grimaced. Serena would move really girlishly, was the thing, and I still wasn’t sure I could pull that off. Maybe if I could lose myself in the character, the way Maude did, but that seemed pretty much impossible. 

I tried to raise a hand, in the delicate, graceful way I imagined Serena would, and immediately felt dumb. What was I doing getting all caught up in this goofy mirror exercise, anyway? The whole thing was really just playing around, after all. Monkey see, monkey do. I smirked and curled my arms up like a monkey scratching his armpits. I expected Maude to tell me off, but she just held my gaze and followed along silently. I switched it up and began to pose, popping my hip like an instagram model showing off her butt. Maude followed suit, and I swallowed drily at the way her skirt flared out over her hips. I shook it off and leant forward with a smirk, running my hands up my sides, then squeezing my pecs together like I was showing off imaginary cleavage. 

Maude matched my every movement. Her bright green eyes never left mine for an instant. 

God, she was really committed to this, wasn’t she? As she followed along with my sarcastic poses, I started to get a little annoyed. Was she really just gonna keep this up? Like she couldn’t tell I was joking around? I mean, that took all the fun out of it, really. If she didn’t get mad, I wasn’t making fun of her. I was just making myself look dumb. And if I was gonna look dumb anyway…

I lifted my hand, in the flouncy, floaty way I figured Serena would do it. Maude did the same. 

It didn’t look so dumb when she did it. 

I kept going, slowly growing more comfortable with the graceful, girly movements. Maude kept reflecting me and my confidence grew. Yeah, this is how Serena would move, floating through the world like she was above everything. Sure, it was kind of an act, hiding her own desperate, aching insecurity, but if you were gonna be insecure you might as well be hot at the same time. I stepped closer to Maude and then twirled away teasingly, and she reflected my movements. She was grinning at me, and I realised that was a reflection too. 

“This is kinda fun,” I admitted.

“You’re nailing it,” Maude winked, “Serena.”

I laughed and stepped towards her again. I raised my hands and she copied me, but this time she broke through the invisible barrier, interlocking our fingers together and squeezing tightly. I wavered for a moment, not sure if this was a new part of the exercise. But I kept my eyes on Maude. She smiled at me, green eyes sparkling, and my gaze drifted down to her soft, pink lips. Maude leaned towards me and I silently craned my head upwards, parting my lips slowly…

“Great work!” Maude chirped happily, “That exercise went really well, you seem way less self conscious now!”

I flung myself back, letting go of her hands like they were burning hot. His hands, Thomas’s hands. What the hell was I doing?

“Yeah, great!” I said brusquely, “Thanks, Tommo. It’s been a hell of a lesson. Ruby’s gonna love it.”

Thomas blinked, confused. He looked down at his hands and his cheeks went red. 

“Yeah. Good. You’re welcome,” he said. He looked up again and his eyes narrowed, “Wait. What’s that about Ruby?”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, even though it was hard to hear over my heart pounding in my ears, “She said I could go out with her if I did a good job as Serena. That’s the whole reason I’m here.”

Thomas’s mouth opened, and then his cheeks went even redder. He scowled.

“I should’ve figured,” he muttered, “God forbid you actually cared about the theater. Or about… ugh. Whatever.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I echoed, “So, uh, I know it’s been kind of a short lesson, but…”

“Yes, you can go,” Thomas snapped, “Just practice your floating. And do your vocal exercises, like I told you. For real this time.”

“You got it, generalissimo,” I said, “Just gonna, uh, change out of this dress. Might raise a few questions if I met up with the boys in this getup, haha.”

Thomas looked down at his own dress and grimaced. 

“Right,” he said, “Yes. I should change too, obviously. Maybe we should save the costumes for a later lesson. When we can do it properly, I mean. I’ll try and get you a wig.”

“Oh, no, that’s…” I stopped myself. Despite whatever confusing mixup had happened in my head, I still wanted to make out with Ruby Oyama, and that meant I still had to do a good job in the play. And part of me was a little curious if I would look any more convincing in a wig. “That would be great. Thanks.”

“I’m not doing it for you,” Thomas said, turning up his nose, “I’m doing it for the audience.”

I changed back to my regular clothes and stuffed my red velvet Serena dress into my bag. It turned out some of my Marketing 202 buddies were having a party, so I went and hung out with them. It was a fun time, casual and chill and carefree, and I spent the whole night trying my hardest not to think about Maude’s eyes, or her pretty voice, or the moment when I almost kissed her.

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Author's Note:

Hey angels! I hope you're enjoying this story. Some quick reminders:

• If you want to skip ahead and read the whole story (and 18 others by a bunch of wonderful authors) you can buy our Secret Santa bundle here.

• If you wanna chat with my other sweet readers (including the beautiful brokies), help me brainstorm new stories or see some cool rocks, you can join the discord here.

Also not sure if I mentioned but huge thanks to Rooibos Chai for helping me with this story! Her feedback was invaluable and she came up with the perfect ending, which is typical Roo. When it comes to writing cute, romantic, funny, tightly-plotted eggfics, nobody is better than her. If you haven't read her amazing beautiful wonderfully lesbian story Chosen Family Tree, you gotta check it out!

And speaking of adorable lesbian eggfics, if you haven't already read Under Stagelights by Transcect, go do it now! It's a classic "I have to pretend to be a girl to join this (lesbian) band" but it's maybe the best one ever. I love Sophie and [REDACTED] so so so much.