Act Natural - Ch. 2 (2K words)

Chapter 2: Given Circumstances

THOMAS

As usual, talking to Grover Lee made me really mad.

It wasn’t just his snarky little jokes that bugged me so much. It wasn’t the fact that he didn’t care about theater, most of the class didn’t. It was the fact that I could tell he didn’t really care about anything. He didn’t have to! I had heard secondhand that he had gotten As in all his classes last year, even though he bragged about how he never studied and spent all his nights partying or staying up late playing video games. And he was so effortlessly confident, cracking jokes and flirting with girls without a care in the world. Everything was just so easy for him. 

I couldn’t stand it, especially when I still found everything so darn difficult. I wasn’t smart, or funny, or cool. I was just… broken. I had always felt that way, like there was something fundamentally wrong with me. No matter how hard I tried to fit in, I knew I would never be good enough. For a while, I had thought maybe I was gay, but I knew that wasn’t it. I definitely liked girls. I had even had a few crushes, even though I knew it was pointless to act on them. No, whatever was wrong with me was something way deeper.

The only time I ever felt right was when I was onstage, losing myself in a character. Everything just became so simple. I could finally stop worrying about what other people thought about me, because they weren’t thinking it about me, they were thinking it about Tybalt, or Henry Higgins, or Gentleman 2. For a couple of hours, I knew exactly who I was meant to be. And I was good at it! When I performed, people applauded. Thomas Macaday the person might be a loser, but Thomas Macaday the actor? He was worth watching.

So, okay, maybe I could be a little high-strung when people made fun of theater stuff. But was that so wrong? That just meant I was passionate. And personally, I would’ve thought passion was something that deserved to be rewarded. 

“Excuse me, Professor Lennox,” I said. The professor looked up from her notebook, where she was scrawling away at a blocking diagram. “I was just wondering if you could please explain the rationale behind your casting decisions?”

I wasn’t mad, obviously! Just… just interested. 

“Ah, young Master Macaday!” Professor Lennox nodded, sending the grey curls of her hair bouncing wildly, “I understand how my casting might seem somewhat bizarre.”

“No kidding,” I muttered. 

“But there is one thing of which you must be aware!” she declared, thrusting a finger proudly into the air, “A single facet in the kaleidoscope of my vision, which brings the whole pattern into focus!”

“And that is…”

She smiled at me condescendingly as she explained, “You see, I cast the girls as boys, and the boys as girls.”

I sighed. As an actor, I knew that it was important to trust my director’s vision. But she did make it difficult sometimes.

“Yes, Professor Lennox, I picked up on that,” I said, “I was more thinking about my role, specifically. Not to be blunt, but I think I’m pretty clearly the best actor in this class. Well, the best male actor, at least. Is there a reason you gave me such a minor role? And, sorry, why you gave such a major one to Grover Lee?”

“Oh, dear Thomas,” she nodded seriously, “It’s simple. I feel as though the notorious Mister Lee has a great potential he has yet to explore. Yes, yes indeed. Also, I find you dull to watch.”

My jaw dropped, “What?”

“You’re certainly talented!” she explained, “But darling, there’s no spark. It’s clear you’re well-studied, well-practiced, but you’re also, well, boring. I want to see a glimpse of something unique, something only you can bring to the role. When you perform, you’ve clearly done the work to make your characters seem like real people. But where’s the real Thomas Macaday?”

I fumbled for something to say. But what could I say to that?

“Ooh, I’ve made you have an existential crisis!” Professor Lennox cooed, “Huzzah! I do love doing that. Well, must be off! All the world’s a stage, and I’m late for my next great role: Lady picking up dry-cleaning. I pretend I’m picking up dry-cleaning if I bump into someone I know on the way to my dealer. Fare ye well!”

Professor Lennox’s words stayed with me for the rest of the week. She was right, really. All my performances were deliberately calculated to hide my real self. But how was I meant to change that when my real self was so inherently unlikeable? It was an impossible situation. I understood now why she had cast Grover as her leading lady. As irritating as he may be, he certainly wasn’t ashamed to be himself. It was a shame he wasn’t actually, you know, a good actor. 

But that was where I came in. 

“Alright, Tommy!” Grover clapped his hands together, “Let’s get down to business. Show me how you did that voice you did at readthrough.”

“What?” I said, “I thought you wanted me to teach you how to act.”

“Yeah,” Grover shrugged, “How to act like a girl. So I figure, y’know, you teach me how to do the voice, put on makeup, maybe stuff my bra, and bingo bango bazongas, I’m a girl.”

He shot me two finger guns and a toothy smile. I scowled at him. 

“A good performance doesn’t start from the outside in,” I said, “Which you would know if you had ever paid attention in class. No, if you want to do this right – and you better, because believe it or not, I do have better things to do with my time – then you’re going to need to truly understand Serena as a person. And there’s only one way to do that.”

Grover’s eyes widened, “I have to become Serena.”

“What? No.” I snapped, “That’s stupid. I was talking about Stanislavsky’s Given Circumstances.”

I could’ve spent hours talking about how Konstantin Stanislavsky revolutionised the way we approach the craft of acting (and, actually, I had prepared a few slides on my laptop) but Grover made it very clear he had not signed up for a history lesson. In the end, I summarised it like this: if you want to make your character seem real, it’s not enough to just read the lines on the page. You need to understand where they came from, their life before the story begins, the baggage they’re bringing with them when they step onto the stage. Only then could you truly bring them to life.

“This is impossible,” Grover complained, “How am I meant to know what this chick’s life was like? She doesn’t exist!”

“There are clues in the text,” I pointed out, “For example, you know she’s an anchovy heiress. But then you have to use your own deductions, and your own judgment, to come up with the rest of it. There’s a certain amount of creative interpretation, which is why no two actors ever have the exact same take on a character. For example, since we know she’s rich, that means she would’ve been raised in luxury. So for my take on Serena, I might interpret her as being kind of a sheltered, spoiled brat.” 

“Makes sense. She’d be used to all the finer things in life. Caviar, French champagne…” Grover waggled his eyebrows at me, “Sexy maids.”

I sighed, “I thought you wanted to take this seriously.”

“Oh, Thomas,” Grover smirked, “I’m always serious when I’m talking about sexy maids.”

I gave Grover a list of Stanislavsky’s six questions – Who? When? Where? Why? For what reason? How? – and gave him twenty minutes to come up with some answers. I had already figured out my Given Circumstances for Maude, so for a while I just sat there, watching Grover write. 

Ugh, he even wrote in an annoying way. His handwriting was broad and swoopy, taking up way too much space on the page, and when he focused his tongue stuck out a little from the side of his mouth. Like a big stupid goofy dog. I crossed my arms and looked around the room. 

The rehearsal room was actually pretty nice, with a large mirror along one wall and a curtain to pull across to divide the room in half. There was even a little vanity in the corner for applying makeup. Grover caught my eye in the mirror and waved.

“I’m done!” he chirped, “Number one Serena expert, reporting for duty.”

He had done a pretty good job, noting down all the concrete information about Serena’s lifestyle and upbringing that was mentioned in the play, and adding in some thoughtful additions of his own. Still, there was something missing.

“This is really good stuff,” I said. Grover shrugged nonchalantly, infuriatingly unconcerned. I forced down my frustration and continued, “But throughout the play, Serena does all these reckless things. Selling off her fleet of anchovy boats, burning her father’s will, even confessing her love to Duncan. What do you think motivated those decisions?”

“I think…” Grover’s brow furrowed, and he ran a hand through his spiky black hair as he thought it over, “I think she’s unhappy. I think even though she’s rich, she has this hole inside her that she knows money can never fill. So she’s given up trying to do things the right way, and instead she just distracts herself by doing all this crazy outlandish stuff. Something like that, anyway.”

I blinked. Wow, that was a much deeper read than I expected. In fact… something told me it might not be entirely about Serena.

“Huh,” I said.

Grover went a bit red, “You said I could make stuff up!” 

“No, no, it’s good!” I said quickly, “I’m glad you’re taking it so seriously. I think that’s a really solid interpretation of the character. Is there anything else you want to add?”

“Maybe one thing,” Grover shrugged, “I think she’s a lesbian.”

“What?” I said, “She literally confesses her love to a man!”

“Yeah, she’s in denial,” said Grover, “That’s why the confession didn’t feel real.”

“The confession didn’t feel real because you were the one performing it, and you delivered all her lines like freakin’ Mickey Mouse!” I said.

“Well, maybe it would be more believable if someone would teach me how to do their suspiciously accurate girl voice!” Grover said. 

I blushed. Okay, maybe I had spent a lot of time working on my girl voice. Well, girl voices, technically. I had a few different ones I could do, just in case I ever needed to play multiple different female characters. But there was nothing suspicious about that! It’s just… an actor prepares, you know?

“We’ll get to the girl voice later,” I said, “We have more character preparation to do.”

Grover groaned, “God, Thomas, do you ever switch off?”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to do the role justice!” I protested, “I’m not asking you to do anything I haven’t already done for my own character!”

“Oh yeah?” said Grover, “So what’s Maude the maid’s deal?”

“She’s a maid,” I said.

“Oh, that’s good,” Grover nodded, “Yeah, I can see your work has paid off.”

“Let me finish!” I snapped. Far out, he was irritating. “She’s a maid, which means she was born into the working class, at a time when the class divide was even more rigid than it is now. And she spends all her time around wealthy people, like Serena. She acts confident and flirty to try and save face, but she’s constantly being reminded that she’s inferior to them, that she’s someone lesser, someone disgusting, someone not even worth talking to. And she has this aching desire to prove that she’s not. That she deserves respect. That she deserves love…”

I trailed off. Grover nodded, for once watching me with quiet attention. 

“...and also she’s a lesbian,” I finished quickly. 

“What!” he shouted, “No fair!” 

“There are signs!” I protested, “It’s supported by the text!”

“How come your girl gets to be a lesbian but mine doesn’t?” Grover complained, “Either we’re both lesbians, or neither of us are!” 

“Fine!” I said, “Fine, okay. We’re both lesbians. But when Serena confesses her love to Duncan, it at least needs to feel like it could be real, okay? Otherwise the rest of the play doesn’t make any sense.”

“Deal,” said Grover, and stuck out his hand with a grin, “We’ll be lesbians together.”

I rolled my eyes and shook it. We spent the next hour and a half going through the play, assigning intentions to each of Serena’s lines. Grover grumbled a lot, and I found myself wondering why exactly he had really asked for my help. He claimed he wanted to do a good job, but he had done nothing but complain this whole lesson. Was there another reason he wanted to spend time with me? For a moment, the thought that he might have a crush on me crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed it. Grover liked girls, I had seen the way he flirted with Ruby. Besides, I wasn’t the type of guy that people got crushes on. And also? Gross. 

Whatever his reason, it didn’t really matter. Now that we had started, I was committed to making sure Grover did a good job, even if I still felt like he was miscast. To reward Grover for sticking with all the prep work, I finished our rehearsal by giving him a few quick tips on doing a feminine voice, then I sent him home to practice. 

Theater was all I had. I was not going to let him ruin this show.