Chapter 36: Assistants

Arthur made his way home.

The worst part about his walk was a moderately sore set of legs. It almost felt wrong. This was a place everyone referred to as the demon world, a land of magic completely different from his previous hum-drum, unsatisfying life. In almost any fantasy story he had ever read, that meant learning to use a sword. It meant hucking fireballs. And, very relevantly, it meant almost always getting ambushed with some kind of trouble when you were just trying to walk home.

And yet, after a short few minutes of daydreaming about a girl who blushed in blue, he was home. In strict defiance of fantasy-world rules, it was only after he got home that things started to get weird.

“Arthur Teamaster?”

“That’s me. Still getting used to the last name.”

Whatever language shenanigans the system was going through to help him understand the language of the demon world as English worked pretty well. Credit where credit was due, the system had somehow made words work so seamlessly for him that he hadn’t thought about the language part of things until days after he arrived in this world. And then he didn’t think about it again because it just wasn’t an issue for him at all.

Visually, it took some time to get used to how demons looked. Most demons, he more or less understood what he was looking at. They were, by and large, animal-ish. They were close enough to rabbits, bears, wolverines, sparrows, and porcupines, that he could make the mental leap. Even Karbo’s species of infernals was somewhat understandable.

And now, somehow, that was all falling apart. These men were skinny, almost to the point of what he’d consider rope-like. But their heads were large, square, and flat, with huge, equally square eyes. They had round mouths, and metallic-tint skin. And when Arthur went to look for a comparison from his earth-life to try to determine what he’d call them, only one came to mind.

I don’t care how much they look like it, there’s no way in hell these are USB cord hybrid people.

“I’m sorry, I had a question, just real quick,” Arthur said. “I’m an offworlder, as you might know.”

“We were informed so, yes.”

“And my planet only had one humanoid, sentient species. Unless you count dolphins, which… never mind actually. The point is that I haven’t quite figured out every species of demon, yet.”

“It’s nothing to worry about. We are, as you would understand it, a representation of the metal concept, much like water elementals are of moisture, or as infernals are of the concepts of force.”

“Ah. Got it. And thank you.” Breathing a sigh of relief that the system hadn’t forced him to accept calling them Usbians, it suddenly occurred to Arthur that the men were likely there for a reason. “And how can I help you?”

“We’ve been sent by the city.” The more talkative of the two not-a-cable men fished into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper not entirely unlike the credit voucher the wolverine commander had provided him with. “To help you produce goods for the monster wave resistance efforts.”

“To help? In what way?”

The less talkative metal elemental shrugged. “In whatever way you can use us best. We’re both relatively versatile assistance and support classes. You will find we are up to most tasks.”

“Oh. Hm.” Arthur wished the wolverine had given him more of a heads-up about this. He hardly knew what to do with them. Pulling the credit voucher out of his pocket, he showed it to the pair. “Can you use this? In lieu of me, I mean.”

“If you wish.”

“Alright, then. I’ll need a few things from the market, if one of you can go and get them. I’ll make a list. And whoever wants to stay can help me get set up while we wait. It’s going to be a long night.”

A few hours later, Arthur’s room was a factory of polished, efficient production. Whatever else these metal elementals might be, they were at a much higher level than Arthur. More than that, they were experienced. They had, Arthur learned, worked in dozens of different environments while gaining the initial levels in their class, and had seen set-ups much more professional and thought out than his.

Once they realized Arthur wasn’t going to give them trouble in some pride-fueled resistance, they helped him optimize his own workflow. They fed him ingredients just as he needed them, brought the finished products from one beautifully planned station to the next, and more or less turned his room into an assembly line for boba pearls.

Best of all, this didn’t seem to have any downsides. So long as Arthur was pumping out majicka, the boba pearls seemed to get the full benefit of his involvement, just as if he had handled every step.

“It’s part of the class,” the less talkative man said when Arthur asked why that was. “A normal helper might actually disrupt the production. But the combination of our high-level and class skills allows for efficiency gains without product quality loss. It’s a win-win.”

“Well, I’ll certainly take it. It’s just a shame I can’t keep up, really. As of now, I’m officially on majicka cooldown.”

Across the room, the other man jerked as he seemed to suddenly remember something. “Oh! I did forget, didn’t I?”

“What?”

“This.” He brought out a small packet. “From the city. It’s meant for healers whenever they need to keep up with some kind of disaster affecting a large part of the city, but the overall mixture is sound for anyone trying to optimize their majicka production.”

Arthur took the paper packet, opening and dumping out six pills of various colors and shapes into his hand. After double-checking he was supposed to take them all at once, he downed them.

Buffs Active!

You have consumed various alchemical products. For convenience’s sake, the system has assembled all the separate effects into a shorter, easier to read, summary.

For the next four hours, your majicka replenishment rate is doubled. Your passive and active Majicka use are both slightly more efficient for the same period, and majicka-consuming tasks now cost slightly less to produce the same effects.

Your majicka stores have been immediately refilled. Note that this particular combination of alchemical products can only refill your majicka once per day.

If the explanation wasn’t enough, Arthur got the gist of what was going on just from how he felt. It was like a combination of just a solid cup of coffee, a massage, and the perfect amount of sleep. He was suddenly raring to go.

“Okay, great. You guys ready for a long night?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Let’s get down to it.”

—

Four hours later, they had created a mountain of boba pearls, one that the two metal men had packaged in barrels and taken away to parts unknown every time Arthur took a break to re-up his mana. It was a remarkable thing.

“How much to hire you guys?” Arthur said. “Not that I have the need just yet, but just in case I ever get there.”

The two men looked at each other and laughed. “More than you’d think, even if you could hire us. You’d have to bid us away from the city first. They consider us a… what’s the term?”

“I think it’s ‘a resource most valuable for balancing purposes.’ They use us to clear bottlenecks in the local economy when it’s needed. Which is fine by me, at least. Variety keeps things fresh.”

“Makes sense. Too bad, though. We could have gone national with this thing.” Arthur’s majicka stores weren’t quite full yet, but from the night’s experience, he knew they would recover entirely by the time he got far enough into the tea-making process for the majicka draw to kick in again. “I’m ready for the next round if you guys are.”

“No, it’s done.”

“What? We can make more. There’s… I mean, there are a lot of hours until dawn.”

“There might be, but one of our functions as assistants is safety. You overdrew your mana last night, correct?”

“Yes.”

“One of our orders from the commander was to make sure you didn’t overdo it tonight. Remember, you have to be functional for tomorrow. As far as we know, nobody can assemble these drinks besides you and keep the effect.”

Arthur looked at the boba press longingly. “You’re sure? I really could keep going.”

“We’re sure.” The two grabbed their workbags and what few tools they had taken out of them to help with the work, then walked to the door. “Thanks, Arthur. We both had fun.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Next monster wave, maybe?”

“Maybe. Have a good night.”

—

Before dawn the next morning, he was shaken awake by Lily, who rushed him out of bed, slapped a pepped hot tea Ella left for him, and more or less dragged him to the city center.

“Lily! I need my stuff!”

“Those metal elementals said not to tell you until this morning, but they said all your stuff is there already.” She stiffened up in a rough imitation of the posture of the two. “It was like, ‘Tell him that we will prepare his equipment with the same attention we gave to the pearls.’ Just like that. So it’s taken care of.”

And it was. Not only was his cart and every piece of equipment he needed already set up, they somehow managed to duplicate every part of it. He had more heat sources, more pots, and more kettles, all arranged in an efficiency-boosting way similar to the night before.

“Oh, hell yes.” Arthur walked over to some unidentified crates and opened them to find dozens and dozens of back-up cups in addition to his own usual serving gear. There were carrying trays and bottles and tubes and everything else he might need, all conscripted for his own private beverage war.

Somehow, and Arthur swore he’d find and thank both of them for this, they had even known about his private, Mizu-optimized well. A note on top of a set of several large barrels informed him they had drawn it fresh last night, and had it transported here, ready for him to dip into.

That tears it. Professional assistants are unreal. And they really were unbelievable. If Arthur managed to get someone with even half the effect one of them had, he’d be set for life. It would have been hard to imagine a better assistant than them if it wasn’t for the one standing right in front of him.

“Oh, yes. That’s a LOT of stuff,” Lily said, then suddenly raised her hand, pointed at the wall, and spun. “We’re going to make tea for ALL the people in the city. Every one of them. For all day. Ella and the doctor both said I could.”

He couldn’t help it. He reached down, threw back the hood of her jacket, and rubbed the top of her feathery head like she was a kitten, fully ignoring her annoyed squawk and attempts to get away.

“Hell yes, we will. Lily, let’s get to it.”