2020 Summary of Art! + update log

Summary of the stuff I drew through the year! Find the posts for each full art piece below:

Jan - Feb - Mar - Apr - May - Jun - Jul - Aug - Sep - Oct - Nov - Dec

Also included last year's summary for a comparison. I'd say my style became a little more polished - and then towards the end the overall look took a BIG shift thanks to my new brush. I also drew a lot more original/personal art, which is huge to me!!

So we're approaching the year's end, and this is the moment I want to get a little personal and lenghty with y'all.

(CW for covid and some negativity, but the following text is about my growth as an artist and person this year and my gratitude for your support!)

2020 was a freaking ride. I graduated from university in February expecting to hunt for a job in my area (I have a degree in psychology! The more you know!) only to be immediately thrown into a pandemic and have no choice but to sit my butt and my stupid lungs that carry a condition at home and focus on freelancing with digital art full time.

The pandemic - and mostly how our leaders chose to handle it - took a toll on my mental health (and that is me speaking as someone who has the privilege to work from home - most in Brazil do not). I'd cry from stress or anger every other day for most of the first half of the year and with time became unable to stay active on social media or even personal direct messaging.

And that only added to my anxiety; as an artist who has Patreon and commissions as their main source of income, networking is essential to stay relevant and fresh in people's minds - or so we're conditioned to think. Stress slowed my process down, and the thought of losing numbers faster than I can gain them - specially on Patreon, since it affects my wage directly - was terrifying.

2020 brought many achievements, some of them life goals I've had for years - making a wage off art, moving out from my grandparents' house (to a rented house with my mom and brother - halfway there!), adopting my own pet. I'm extremely lucky for the audience I have, and while the amount I actually make through Patreon is nowhere close to a living wage for a US citizen, it does convert to living wage in my third world country currency.

But with those came a crushing sense of responsibility - I'm not allowed to fall behind if I want to keep a stable wage and a stable life and chase my next goals. 

At the same time, I've been trying to come in terms with the fact I'm only human. I can keep working hard and trying my best, but I cannot expect myself to pump art and be present on social media frequently and robotically like I'm an emotionless machine - specially with EVERYTHING happening in Brazil and the world at the moment. I have my own pace and I have to respect it.

I'm still struggling not to beat myself over not being fast or productive enough, or not meeting all of my personal art goals each month. I'm still trying to find the balance between art for work (which I always prioritize) and personal art that is a HUGE outlet for my mental health - and looking at this year's summary, I feel a little proud to see I allowed myself to indulge more.

So for 2021, I want to keep chasing the balance. I want to keep creating and get my ideas out there, but being kinder to myself. I want to keep pushing and organize myself better, but respect my limits. It'll be a slow, ever growing process since in the context I'm living, I can never tell what will happen tomorrow - Brazil might eat itself up for all I know - but I'll face it head on while keeping in touch with my feelings.

I cannot thank you enough for helping me get where I stand today. Until a couple years ago I believed it'd be unrealistic to want to go fulltime - now I'm living my childhood dream. I still have much room to grow, both my mindset and my artistic skills, but it's so reassuring to know how many people are backing me up.

I want you to know I don't want you to feel bad or discouraged to delete your pledge for whatever reason - don't be! And you don't owe me an explanation either. Just know if you pledged just even once, you gave me that little push to keep going forward.

Whether you're an old or a new or a former patron - you contributed to a small indie artist, a 24 years old japanese brazilian called Nao (yep, that's my non-internet name) - to keep doing their thing, pay their bills and parent their cat. You're the real MVP. So thank you so much.

I should post a couple more things before the year actually ends - but here's to a 2021 that hopefully treats us kindly. Thank you all so much for the support and never forget you made a difference in Son/Nao's life. <3