MiP B2 Chapter 2: Feelings

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"So, in short, the most stuck-up bully of my life is now begging for our help to fulfill his greatest dream, because we've happened to become his only remotely realistic hope of achieving it. Do I have that right?"

Carlos looked up from his plate of succulent roasted meats and vegetables, all covered generously with a rich gravy, and raised an eyebrow at Amber. They were in Mayor Stelras's personal dining room, enjoying the service of his personal chef. "You know you do. You've read the letter yourself, what, a dozen times now?"

Amber set the letter aside yet again and took another bite of her own lunch. "Yeah, I know. It's just…" She shook her head and chuckled. "Out of all the things that happened the last few weeks, this one is somehow the hardest for me to believe is real. It's ridiculous. I know it's ridiculous. I've personally met and spoken with royalty! Kindar should be nothing compared to that! But, somehow… This is hitting me harder than anything."

Carlos nodded calmly. "Makes sense to me. The presence of royalty is completely new to you. It's huge and important, and far beyond anything you ever expected might happen, but the only thing you've experienced before that's different is its absence. You don't have any memories in the back of your mind telling you 'that's not how this is supposed to work.' For Kindar, you have a lifetime of memories telling you that he's more powerful and better supported than you are, and that you're mostly helpless against his bullying. Now that you're the one in power, and he's the one helpless against you, that's not just new, but contradicts a lot of your past experiences. Some part of you in the back of your mind is having difficulty reconciling the contradiction; it's like you have a subconscious voice shouting 'that's wrong; it's not how this is supposed to work!' For meeting Princess Lornera, that voice is only confused and surprised, not feeling like something's wrong."

"Hmm." Amber cocked her head and paused. She looked down and idly speared another forkful of tender steak. She made a few more contemplative sounds as she chewed and swallowed. "That makes some weird kind of sense. I think." She shook her head. "How did you know that? I never would have figured it out."

Carlos chuckled. "Don't feel bad about it. Not many people would ever figure out that kind of thing about how human minds work without being taught. I certainly didn't. My dad's a therapist, and he taught me a lot."

Amber blinked, then blinked again. "I have never heard of that profession before. In fact, I think it doesn't exist here."

Carlos realized on reflection that "therapist" hadn't translated. There was no word for it in Ganler, the native language here. "Huh. … I hadn't thought about it, but I'm not surprised. It took a long time for people where I grew up to realize that kind of thing can be important. Or maybe the hard part was realizing that it takes education and training to do it well."

"Ah."

They ate mostly in silence for a while, occasionally humming in thoughtful consideration while they chewed. Eventually Amber was leaning on her elbow, just watching as Carlos scraped up a few last bits of gravy from his plate. She stared distantly at nothing. "Hmm… You know, I'm tempted to actually accept, just so I can rub his face in how I succeeded better at his own greatest ambition than he ever will."

"Hmm? Oh right, Kindar." Carlos chuckled. "I imagine a few sessions of smugly condescending to him would be rather cathartic revenge for you. Would it be worth the downside of helping him actually achieve his ambition, at least to a minor degree, though? I'm sure that if Darmelkon had any other viable options for helping his son with this, he would have taken care of it years ago. If we refuse, we'll be denying Kindar from achieving his ambition at all. Wouldn't that be better revenge?"

"Logically, yeah, that makes sense. But it just doesn't feel satisfying to me." Amber took a sip of water and pushed her empty plate away. "I want to show him how badly we outclass him now. I want to see his face when he realizes that he will never measure up to the 'annoying stupid girl' he used to tease."

Carlos put his hands together, resting his elbows on the table, and rested his chin on his hands as he looked at Amber. "Not to mention how much money Darmelkon will pay us for doing it." His voice was calm and level.

Amber nodded quickly. "Yes, that too."

"You realize we're already rich now, right? Receiving taxes, and all that."

Amber threw her head back laughed uproariously. When her laughter finally tapered off, she leaned forward and looked Carlos in the eyes. "You may have heard that Darmelkon is rich, but you clearly don't understand how filthy rich he really is. Yes, I was shocked when he offered a hundred gold bounty for finding us back before we became nobles, but that was only because I didn't know why he considered us valuable. For this? For helping his son achieve his otherwise impossible greatest desire? A price in platinum would be cheap! I would bet that he'll pay in mythril and be glad about it."

"Hmm." Carlos quickly did the math in his head. 100 gold was roughly equivalent in value here to a million dollars on Earth, and is also equal to 1 platinum. So 1 million dollars per platinum. 100 platinum is 1 mythril. So each mythril coin is around the same order of magnitude value as 100 million dollars. Just 10 mythril to match a billion dollars. "Okay, that's more than I thought. So he's a major business tycoon? What the hell is he doing living in a backwater in the middle of nowhere like Erlen?"

Amber shrugged. "I have no idea. Ask him."

Carlos stared for a moment and snorted. "I suppose it doesn't matter." He took a deep breath. "Alright, I guess we're at least seriously considering it after all. So, let's break it down, pros and cons. Pros: personal satisfaction for you, Darmelkon loses any basis for claiming we still owe him a favor, and we get a ridiculous amount of money. Cons: Kindar becomes a noble. Also, we have to put up with him being here for a while. Anything else?"

"Another one for pros: Even with the favor and Darmelkon paying so much, Kindar himself will personally owe us, bigtime." Amber grinned. "His house will just about be permanent vassals in service to us."

Carlos hesitated, then frowned. "… Just how much, and how long, do you intend to keep paying him back for how he treated you?"

Amber raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "…Until I get tired of it? I don't know."

"I'm all for giving him a well-deserved comeuppance, turning the tables, and giving him a taste of his own medicine to teach him a lesson. But I will not countenance continuing to humiliate and abuse him long term!" Carlos shook his head emphatically. "If we do that, we would be bullies just as bad as he was. I hate bullies, and I refuse to be one."

Amber slowly lowered her eyes, blushed, and nodded shyly. "I… You're right. That is not the kind of person I want to be. I'm sorry for suggesting it."

Carlos leaned forward and reached out to gently put his right hand on top of her hands. "It's okay. What's important is that you recognize your mistakes, learn from them, and make yourself a better person. My parents taught me that very, very thoroughly."

"Yeah." Amber sighed and shook herself. "Thanks. I'll try to remember that. And… Should we just call off the whole idea?"

"Only if you truly want to." Carlos squeezed her hands gently. "If you can get some satisfaction without taking it too far, then that's completely okay, and you were right that there are serious benefits to it. Even having him as a vassal house, as long as we treat him reasonably. Though… Hmm." He frowned. "There has to be a reason why strong noble houses aren't raising up new vassal nobles all the time, right? It's not all that hard to make a noble soul plan if you know the requirements details."

"I suppose. Lorvan probably knows the reason."

Carlos nodded. "Yeah. I feel like he might just ask if we can figure it out ourselves, like he did about nobles keeping mana wellsprings, though…" He shrugged. "I'm sure Darmelkon knows too, and he wouldn't have asked if the Crown forbids it, or anything like that. He's ambitious and ruthless, not stupid. We should ask, certainly, but I expect any consequences we might have overlooked will be manageable. As I see it, the core question is just…" Carlos reached his other hand forward, firmly clasped and lifted both of Amber's hands, and looked her in the eyes. "Amber, what do you want to do with this?"

Amber stared back for a moment, then averted her gaze. "Don't you have an opinion about this too? Why are you only asking me?"

"Of course I have an opinion, but all he did to me was loan me a sword in a dungeon and then act rude and arrogant when he demanded it back afterward. You are the one who grew up being bullied by him. How to treat him matters far more to you than it possibly could to me." Carlos squeezed Amber's hands reassuringly. "Amber, please, look at me." He waited, and after a few seconds Amber hesitantly turned her head to face him directly again. "My opinion on this is that I want our response to be something that you will be content and happy with. All other relevant considerations that I can think of are less important than that."

Amber stared and slowly nodded. "I… Thank you." She squeezed Carlos's hands back and awkwardly extracted her hands from his grip so she could lean forward and rest her head on them, propped up by her elbows on the table. "I think… I do want to accept, but maybe with some conditions. I still want to show him up in person and see his reaction. Part of me still feels afraid of him, and I want to prove to myself that he doesn't have the power to threaten me anymore. That seems like something your 'therapists' would say something about. Would they say it's a good idea? Do you know?"

Carlos nodded. "Yes, absolutely. Standing up to something you used to fear is a great way to resolve residual fear of it that lingers in your mind."

"Then, yeah. I want to do that, and I do still want to get some payback." Amber hesitated. "But if I start bullying people like he did, I'd start hating myself as soon as I realize it. So, no bullying. And that goes for Kindar too. If he can't learn to stop being a bully, then he doesn't deserve what he wants. Let's give him a chance. Make our conditions clear, and demand partial payment up front, but give him an opportunity to earn our help."

"That sounds fair." Carlos cocked his head and frowned in thought. "Having him with us may require adjusting some of our plans. … Actually, we're overdue for making certain plans in the first place. I got a bit too carried away with my excitement over all the spell keywords we can learn now. Sorry."

Amber grinned. "Have you forgotten that I told you I'm well known for always having a plan? What do you think I've been doing the past two days?"

Carlos raised an eyebrow, then grinned back at her. "Oh really? Let's see what you've got!"

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