ernaburn

Out here

Added 2024-11-11 19:44:42 +0000 UTC

Every time I come back to NYC my brain breaks a little. I love this city and I also miss it when I leave - the constant distractions, the endless art (and food) to be discovered, and the people especially. But the noise, the air, the lack of trees is really starting to get to me.

Every time I get to leave though, it feels so rushed. Cramming in some work and figuring out logistical puzzles to find budget-friendly flights, cars and lodging always exhausts me. I can't really afford to do it alone, but coordinating with people is so hard. I always joke that my fetish might be someone who plans things for me...

I crave alone time, but I also get bored and lonely. I'm not good at sitting still and quietly with my own thoughts. I haven't felt very motivated to take self portraits recently, but usually it does feel good after I do it. I appreciate that you appreciate it too!

I'm still in a bit of daze and processing things, perhaps you are too. I recently photographed a model and creator in my lingerie line...she has like a million followers and an extreme hourglass figure, so I thought it would look great on her (and it did). But having just met her a couple weeks ago, I see now that's posting about voting for Trump. I love the photos and I thought she was a really sweet person, but I don't feel like I represent the brand that way - at least not right now. I did talk to her about it a bit, I'm not really here to disrespect other's choices and opinions - but apparently the online modeling world has been letting her have it. In that case, I don't think she needs to hear it from me as well.

But it's hard to understand anyone with a uterus voting against ourselves. It's hard to imagine anyone who's not a millionaire voting against ourselves. It is also hard to imagine voting for the other option which has turned such a blind eye on Gazans. But I did it mostly to protect my trans and my uterus-owning friends. Fuck. I can't stop crying lately.

Anyways, I hope you're holding up okay. I need to go live on OF soon even just to chat and check in with you all.

I hope you're enjoying the kind of fantasy content...I have more lingerie stuff and nudes always, but I enjoy mixing it up as you know!

Messaging on here is really not great, so please don't be shy to reach out on IG or OF if you need to vent or chat at all, okay?