ernaburn

Notes on Paris

Added 2023-05-18 17:31:16 +0000 UTC

I want to tell you more about this Paris trip. But the story actually starts long ago, long before any of you ever knew me.

However, I am writing a book - so I don't want to give it all away just yet. Let it suffice to say, it's not my first time feeling completely alone in Europe. Not my second time either, but actually my third.

My European travels continue to have a gently sad nostalgia. Without getting into a very long story just yet, the first time is an especially wild tale that starts with me working and living in a rural town outside of Venice, and ends with a torrid love affair that had me waving goodbye to someone for the last time from a train window in Rome as it pulled away. I'll save that story for another day.

Both of my previous sagas left me feeling very alone in a foreign country, like a stupid stereotypical American girl. (Although, allow me to note, the second European tour did have its successes, like riding on the back of handsome stranger's motorcycle - a total gentleman, by the way- through the streets of Athens at night.)

This Paris trip didn't go entirely as planned, and I ended up alone quite a few days I wasn't supposed to... but this time was different. This time, I (mostly) figured it out.

But still, that feeling was there. You dumb, stupid American! Everyone can learn your language but you can't learn even one?! I hate feeling like "an influencer" anywhere, so I don't take photos outside really to avoid attention. But let me tell you, having this social media network saved me. The photographers I met on this trip - plus the ones I'd been talking to for literally years on Instagram who agreed to meet up with me - made this trip magical.

It made me enjoy making art with my body again, and one in particular (who had lived in New York before) got my sense of humor that most Parisians don't, and we had so much fun. I don't date photographers, but dare I say they may have been a bit of romantic tension? Nothing happened, which I think is almost more magical. Anticipation is so fun, don't you think? That feeling of meeting someone on a trip that you will probably never see again...knowing that it's brief and it will end. Promises of staying in touch will fade, and you won't be back soon. But it's somehow okay...to know I can feel something like longing again is comforting. I haven't felt it in a long time.

I can't wait to share the photos and videos we took with you (this set I'm posting is from before my trip!). Instead of spending every night posting and editing, I lived in the moment - so there will be much more to come delayed. I still have photos from my last trip I haven't shared yet!

Okay signing off, until my next post I hope you enjoy the rest of your week.