upstate
Added 2021-07-15 04:58:42 +0000 UTCQuick trip upstate where my friend is house-sitting...my room is one of the kids rooms (the family is not here obviously).
I always wonder where I can say what I'm really feeling...if it's not here, idk where it would be. I've been feeling really disconnected from my body.
While I know it's illogical, things like chopping my hair, gaining like 3lbs, and getting another year older is taking an unreasonably negative toll on my mental health. I feel like I'm looking at the end of my peak? Aging for women is such an odd thing already but with modeling being my main income now, it's a much more intense pressure.
I'm thinking about returning to design work again, to focus on my other skills besides...being naked haha. It's not that easy you guys! If you're here, you are more likely to know I'm 34 and while that is not old - it is a DECADE older than most women doing what I do.
I do wonder how they will feel ten years from now...they might understand what I'm going through now. It's become so abstract to me, my physical appearance. It's like saying the same word over and over again, you say it too many times and it loses meaning. It begins to sound odd, to feel strange in your mouth.
Know what I mean?
Anyways, I'm not quitting yet. But I'd like to clear the way for some other creative skills to flourish again too.
Comments
You can always do both, pursue other interests while modeling for the hoards of people like us who love to see your beautiful face and skin and body on a weekly basis :) I don’t think mid-30s is old at all, but still you barely look older than 24.
Grey Grey
2021-07-16 08:27:08 +0000 UTCYou’re breathtakingly beautiful! Please try mindfulness/yoga etc to connect with that body of a goddess you’re blessed with. The joy is in the journey 🌹
2021-07-15 14:41:06 +0000 UTCJust remember, you are so much more than what you look like.
Timothy Mark Skilton
2021-07-15 06:31:57 +0000 UTCYou know I’ll always encourage you to find balance with your creative side… you’re talented in so many ways besides being one of the more lucid, sexiest women on the internet today… do you Erin… only you can… ❤️
Stevie
2021-07-15 05:06:37 +0000 UTC
