NokiMo
ThiccRTreat
ThiccRTreat

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Donut Delinquent Page 11

Two cute dorks... Wouldn't it be a shame if a little gremlin bound by the red string of fate got it all tangled up?

Apologies for the delay on the new page! I've been kind of busy IRL these past few days, not as much time for art as I'd hoped. Hope this makes up for it, though! Only a couple more pages until we finally see the titular Donut Delinquent...


Donut Delinquent Page 11

Comments

Apologies. To be completely honest with you (not being a suck-up, I swear), the exposition in this comic is generally pulled off rather well in my opinion. Doesn't feel forced. Please take the initial critique with a grain of salt though, since such opinions tend to be completely subjective and I admittedly could very well have been wrong. Personal, subjective opinion; Seems great now.

Scryer

I can see where you're coming from on the dialogue, my intent was for the dialogue to be Leo reassuring her by telling her all he means to her, but I suppose I didn't get that across with the dialogue in the first try. Went ahead and edited it, tried to make it a little more natural. Thanks for the critique, really helps!

TrickTreat

Omg they are sooo cute, and of course no worries on any delay

Bailey G

Correction a thicc gremlin lol

Blazingfox77

You're fine, mate. As a rule, real life MUST take priority. Minor criticism, but while the exposition helps us as the audience understand their relationship, it seems a little awkward for Leo to say in-character, considering they're both aware. Doesn't detract from the story or the quality of this comic in any way, just seems a little odd is all, though once again it's not bad. That said, it DOES help establish exactly what Lis means to him and why he's so fond of her. Only relationship yet to be fully established is that of grumpy, big-butt gremlin and blubbery cinnamon roll. Also, Lisbeth is adorable in the last panel, hard not to smile. Personally, am fond of the flashback pannel, something about the room and furniture I find aesthetically pleasing. And seriously, if life gets in the way, take as much time as you need between pages, no-one's going to complain.

Scryer


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