Depressed, for lack of a better word...
Added 2024-11-29 01:47:38 +0000 UTCOrdinarily, I'd leave these complaints on Twitter and let it stew in silence, but this has the potential to drastically impact my career - so I should share it here.
To keep things short:
I'm tired. I'm not good enough. Not enough people care about my work and I do not create anything of genuine, long-term value. I don't see a "point" in creating - it feels like such a waste of time lately.
I'm behind on some work, which should serve as evidence of my exhaustion. Not to mention the gradual simplification of my Patreon experience over time.
I feel like I should give up because I'm not good enough, but I can't because my livelihood depends on this. I'm sick of courting social media, but can't survive operating within an isolated bubble. I don't want to be forced to create shallow artwork for other people, but it's clear that I can't simply create for myself. Also, Patreon has insisted on making my life harder too (with censorship & banning me from advertising on social media) -- and who knows what laws will change moving forward that will affect my career. I feel like I've lost and I'm just slowly watching myself spiral into acceptance until it's too late.
I'm sure many of these feelings aren't a big surprise to those of you who've been here a while, as I echoed similar, albeit less extreme, thoughts in the past.
I still plan to catch up on the work that I've fallen behind on, but I felt that it was important I express these feelings to you, given that it directly impacts my work - and what you're here to support. I don't know if I'll manage to pull myself out of this within a reasonable time frame.
Apologies for souring your holiday mood.
Don't forget to eat & sleep.
Comments
That does sound like depression to me, please talk to someone about it if you can.
Psudonym
2024-11-29 19:26:32 +0000 UTCYou sound too harsh on yourself. I'm super happy every time a new sketch is publied.
gkr
2024-11-29 07:37:24 +0000 UTCi second this
Anthony Docimo
2024-11-29 04:54:38 +0000 UTCI second the others here, that you should do what you need, and to rest. we're here for you. also, I'm not sure what you mean by "not enough people care" - how many do you need? i'm serious.
Anthony Docimo
2024-11-29 04:54:25 +0000 UTCI'll always support you for as long as I'm able to, and anything I can do to help just let me know. It's always good to vent, too.
Calsetes
2024-11-29 03:15:07 +0000 UTCIt's always good to vent. Life currently sucks with what's going on. If you need a break you should take it.
DoubleAC
2024-11-29 03:03:00 +0000 UTCIf you need time, please take care of yourself.
Shawn Heatherly
2024-11-29 02:24:01 +0000 UTCIt's rough trying to survive right now. I feel you.
Violet Rose in The Dark
2024-11-29 02:16:49 +0000 UTCFeel free to step away. You absolutely have to take care of yourself first. I just ask that you let me and other patrons keep your account active to keep supporting you as best we can.
Sororitas Cupid
2024-11-29 02:02:58 +0000 UTCI feel ya.
Couchpotato22
2024-11-29 01:55:30 +0000 UTC
