Shag Race

This is a big ol’ experiment and a highly voted one apparently! Basically throwing together the old Whacky Races cartoon but where everyone’s a fuckable trope. Dominatrixes racing with snooty princesses, ex porn stars and gamer girl e-thots. It’s a fun setting I’d like to mess with sometime an idea strikes me, but I realized I made way too many racers to fit in a short demo reel of a story. Hence the pileup mentioned early on… 

"Welcome back to more Shag Race! We've got a hot and heated competition as always, people! Dr. Libida is jammed up on the bridge after a not-so-romantic entanglement with the apocalyptic Roadie! That leaves the rest of the racers stuck behind them and our top six racers all battling it out to find out who will be today's fastest, craftiest, sexiest driver in the world! Who's it gonna be?!"

The Shag Race circuit was always a weird and wild thing. It drew the strangest kinds of competitors, most of which were thankfully kinky and sexy to boot. Porn stars, lewd mad scientists, dominatrixes and even tribal amazons came pouring in to prove they were tough and fast enough to try and be the best racer every week. This week's track had them roaring through the mountainous forests of Pennsylvania, swerving along the long and winding roads.

As usual, Stella Starlette was at the head of the pack. The gorgeous and busty beauty's pure blonde hair trailed behind her as she blazed up the hills in the Shaggin' Wagon. Her family had been racing for years and while she had taken a long career in porno, Stella was right at home behind the wheel of their highly customized race car. She was a frequent winner of their races, often used as an iconic poster girl of Shag Race for her ability to win her races while looking like it was a joy ride. She just loved how the roar of the engine made her tingle as her huge breasts bounced around in her tiny pink tank top.

"Faster! Faster!" barked a voice behind her. Stella tipped her rearview mirror slightly to see the unmistakable racer catching up to her. Princess Pedigree (or just Petty to her rivals) was just what she sounded like. The dainty and lovely brunette wore a full lacey gown while racing. Stella knew it wasn't the most aerodynamic thing in the world, but neither were Stella's big fake tits. She didn't have a car to race in, even if the regal brat could clearly afford several of them. She had opted to ride on her faithful mount, a beefy manhorse she just called Manhorse. He was a musclebound, 7 foot tall man with formal armor, stomping hooves and the head of a horse glaring straight ahead.

"Yes, m'lady," he grunted, working up a sweat but barging ahead. The sturdy manhorse could handle turns a little better than a car and while he was closing the gap, he and Petty couldn't quite overcome Stella on the straightaways. "I can't seem to catch up to her. I apolgize!"

"Never mind that. We're close enough!" The princess hopped onto his broad shoulders, digging around in her dress until she pulled out her purse. "Let's treat it like I do everything else... throw money at the problem!" 

She took a bag stuffed with gold coins from her purse and chucked it like a grenade. It whizzed over Stella's head and crashed across the road, effectively leaving an oil slick of her riches.

"Oh shit!" Stella stomped on the brakes, but she hit them too quickly and went spinning out of control. She was able to slow down enough to keep from flying off the road, but a low-hanging branch swept across her chest. It caught the inside of her shoulder strap, ripping her top off in one go as the princess went speeding past with a haughty laugh.

Stella worked quickly to get herself back in the game, but the rest of the racers blazed past her.

“It looks like Petty has taken the lead while the other rowdy racers are trying to catch up!

Queen Yvonne LeBron is tangling with Lana Dee and Lina Dee in their Double Dee-Light!”

“Watch where you’re driving, you insolent pups!” Queen LeBron barked, pacing along the flat top of her vehicle. The dark-skinned dominatrix was dressed in even darker black leather, thigh-high boots squeezing around her appetizingly long legs. Her corset boosted up her already considerable breasts, making them look like a pair of beach balls ready to pop.

She cracked a whip on one of her scantily clad pets. The queen’s vehicle was a round tank the size of a trailer home, largely hollow with over a dozen various undressed subs working the controls. The Ball Bustler was largely slave-powered beyond its basic engine, and as she lashed her whip a chubby man in a blindfold and ball gag started to turn a crank as quickly as he could.

“Try and catch us, bitch!” Lana laughed. The pretty redhead’s long hair billowed in the wind, the top down on their deep red sports car. Her sister veered sharply to cut off Yvonne, the drag-racing twins roaring slightly ahead of her.

“We got her, sis. That old cow can’t catch up now,” Lina gloated. The twins were both dressed the same, with matching pink scarves around their necks, tight jeans and largely unzipped jackets with nothing underneath. The only notable difference was Lina keeping her hair boyishly short.

The cranking from the Ball Bustler became audible as a mounted turret grew out of the top of the vehicle. A scowling Yvonne stepped into it and aimed the double barrels towards them. Lana looked into the rear view mirror and raised her eyebrows.

“Lina? She’s got guns.”

“Pointed at us?”

“And closing in again.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“It is.”

“God that’s so hot.”

“I know!”

“Kiss me, stupid!” 

Lina and Lana were infamous adrenaline junkies. Lina grabbed her sister and pulled her into her, making out with her shamelessly on live TV. The incestuous thrillseekers still veered along the limited space of the road, dodging around the pursuing laser blasts from Queen Yvonne’s cannons.

“Hold us steady, you idiots!” Yvonne barked at her underlings. She glared back at her hench-slaves, just to find some of them looking behind them. One of them waved wildly at her. “Yes, what is it!?”

The scrawny white girl took the ball gag from her mouth. “Queen Yvonne! Oona and her monster approach!”

With a triumphant whoop and a creak of the metal around the Ball Bustler, a creature resembling a t-rex the size of a velociraptor landed on the back of the vehicle. Riding on its back was a towering amazon dressed in dark fur loincloth. Her full breasts bounced around, making her bushy black hair and the thick gold rings in her nipples bounce along with them. Her tan skin bulged with muscles as the tribal woman rapped her knuckles on her dinosaur’s head.

“Grath! Dig!” she ordered simply. The beast buried its jaws into the metal of Queen Yvonne’s, chucking a plate of it away. The assorted sex slaves shrieked as they tried to chase her off, but they were fended off by the snapping jaws or knocked aside by Oona’s thin but heavy wooden club.

“Useless minions!” Yvonne snapped. The dom racer stormed towards the back of her ride with a whip in hand. She lashed it at Oona, but the amazon raised an arm and caught it around her thick forearm.

“Best let go, booby woman,” the primitive racer said with a grin. Grath suddenly chomped down on another piece of metal, ripping out something important looking with a series of sparks and wires. The Ball Bustler started to make a loud humming noise and swerve to one side of the precarious road. The slaves panicked as Oona and her mount leapt over the crashing vehicle. The amazon’s solid body pulled the whip along with her, forcing Yvonne to the front of the warmachine so that her thick breasts squashed out against the windshield. With a miserable gag, she finally released the whip rather than get pulled off like an outclassed fisherman.

“You stupid jungle bitch! I’ll get you for this!” she shouted after her before spinning out into some trees.

Oona laughed over her shoulder before spurring on her dinosaur. “Next hunt, Grath,” she ordered. Nobody knew everything about the strange warrior woman, but she had happily talked during interviews about her and her trusty beast’s favorite game in her old country: passing jeeps in her jungle territory.

Moving up towards the lead, Oona pointed to the only two ahead of her. Princess Petty was reaching into her fluffy dress and tossing spare crowns and scepters back at them as she held onto Manhorse’s back. The Dee sisters wove around them as Oona started to gain on them both.

“We got an amazon behind us!” Lana reported as she checked the rearview mirror.

“We got a bitch on a manhorse in front of us,” Lina reminded her.

“FUCK do I love this race!”

“I love you!” Lana’s hand went down Lina’s panties and was about to finger her when their car creaked and tilted backward. Grath had landed on their trunk and latched on with his claws as Oona reached over and grabbed both girls by the collars of their jackets.

“Already in the mood, I see. You’ll make fine wives,” Oona noted with a grin.

“What? Get bent, ya meathead!” Lana produced a can of emergency hairspray from her glove box and sprayed it back at the brute’s face. Oona swatted it away as it didn’t cause much trouble for her. Grath, however, sniffed the acrid cloud with its flaring nostrils and gave a few disgruntled snarls as it pawed at its face, shaking its head and dropping back off the car. 

Their tires dropped back to all fours and they went roaring ahead, quickly catching up to the princess and her buff steed. They sped past the regal pair as the princess gave a frustrated growl.

“Manhorse! I demand you smash them!” she snapped, stomping her heel on his broad back. The overgrown horseman swung a huge fist at the girls, leaving a dent in the side of the Double Dee-light but unable to stop them from overtaking them. The adrenaline junky sisters sped past, flipping her off as they roared into the lead.

“Uncultured oafs,” Petty fumed. “Those are some of the most tasteless…”

The announcer’s voice blared over the speakers in the drone flying overhead.

“And here come The Gamer Grrls rocketing ahead in their Co-op Coop!”

“Oh great,” Petty groaned as the thumping 8-bit remix music started looming in from behind her. 

A flashy race car with strobe lighting and several mounted computer screens and webcams came speeding along behind her, piloted by two girls with skimpy “hot geek” attire and alt girl style streaks in their hair. The street racers, l33t gamers and livestreamers that were Liz and Mina each had their own steering wheel built into their high-tech ride. Mina was a busty Asian girl with dark hair and a red streak wearing an Animal Crossing shirt while Liz was a bright-eyed blonde with a chubby, curvy figure and a tight-fitting Overwatch logo shirt.

“Heads up, gamers! We just hit a mushroom boost as we’re coming to you liiiive with better commentary than the actual show!” Liz addressed her cam cheerily. 

“We’re climbing up that leaderboard and now there’s just this pay to win poser and the incest sisters in our way!”

“So let’s pop our ult and leave ‘em in the lag! L.O.L!” Liz giggled. Both of the gamer girls pulled on their steering wheel and it rapidly morphed into a large, cube-like body with some thick mechanical limbs. Their robot went charging ahead as Manhorse quickly whirled around and threw up his arms, grappling with the mecha as the streamers grinned from inside the protective glass that was once their windshield.

“Didn’t you ever learn not to train against bots?” Mina  taunted as they kept running while shoving and grappling with each other. They still left some space on the edges and with some risky coasting, that was where Stella Starlette came racing in from alongside Manhorse and Petty.

“Don’t mind me,” Stella chimed. “I’ll just help myself.”

The chesty and topless blonde pulled on Manhorse’s belt, dropping a few plates of armor behind their speeding forms. The predictably huge shaft popped out from between his legs and with a flashy smile, Stella pulled in closer and slid most of the footlong into her pouty lips in a smooth pull. Manhorse gave a long, low grunt at her driveby blowjob as his grip seemed to falter. 

“Come on! Manhorse! I order you to not…!”

But Stella made a more convincing argument as she bobbed her head. The talented pornstar moaned and slid around her tongue as she pulled back slowly. With a weary groan, Manhorse stumbled as he shot his load across her face and fell to the back of the race. Stella just licked her lips and hit the windshield wipers to clean some of the horse cum off her glass.

“Not so fast!” Mina challenged as her robot bounded ahead of her. “You can’t blow your way past a robot!” 

“No?” Stella asked with a feigned look of confusion. “Well how about them?” 

The blonde suddenly stomped the gas to shoot ahead at top speed, ramming into one of the robot’s legs. The Co-Op Coop stumbled to stay upright, and while she was ready to burst right after her the heavy footsteps came barging in behind her.

“After that treacherous wench!” Yvonne barked. The dom was whipping at her sex slaves, most of which had piled out of the vehicle and were carrying it by hand as they hurried to catch up. Oona was back on her dinosaur and right behind them, its snapping jaws keeping the minions moving quickly.

“Aha! That iron monster has swallowed those maidens!” Oona shouted. The Gamer Grrrls tried to run ahead but they were quickly overwhelmed, wildly swinging their robot’s arms at the other fighting racers. 

“Noooo! Pwned again!” the girls wailed as they were buried in the brawling racers. 

---

“Hey, girls!” Stella waved to the Dee sisters as she pulled up beside them, neck and neck for the lead. The sisters smirked back at her and they both raced for all they were worth before the Double Dee-Light swung sideways and rammed into The Saggin’ Wagon. The blonde kept her control over her car to stay on the road, but her tires bounced around as her boobs jiggled from the rough terrain.

Thankfully, that gave her an idea. She sped back up to catch up to them as they neared the finish line, weaving and juking the sisters until she got on the inside of the road. She returned the favor with a firm bump to their side, but it didn’t have the same punch as the sisters’ heavier hotrod. She did manage to push them far enough to go off the smoothed dirt and bouncing over the rougher gravel and grass. 

Stella’s plan started working almost immediately. Lana started to push back against her but her hands went unsteady on the wheel. The vibration of the rough terrain combined with them teetering near the edge of the forest with the cliff just beyond. Knowing they were a few feet from a dangerous tumble and the steady vibration going through their groins, the sisters’ eyes rolled back in their heads as they moaned along with the grinding of their tires.

“We could totally fall off!”

“Or smash into a tree.”

“And the track’s forcefield failsafes might even fail to be safe!”

“Holy fuck I’m gonna~!”

The sisters broke into howling orgasms gripping the arms of their seats with one hand and their other hands clasping together. Stella blew them a quick kiss before pulling ahead, blazing across the finish line.

“And another win for Starlette as she, er… comes across the finish line! Just behind her are The Double D’s and the Gamer Grrrls pulling into third! Once again, it has been action-packed and weirdly horny! Join us next time, racy race fans! Will we be getting sand in our buns in a sweaty desert race or braving the jungles of Monster Island? Tune in and find out!”