Monster Essays: Halflings

Another one of these to start the month. Halflings are casual, lazy and horny, so they get along great with humans. I've only really used them in Stackers within the setting (technically very briefly in Haunted Rose when the gorgon watched porn with a halfling and centaur), with the excuse that they're very much homebodies who are big on ordering pizza and online hookups. Fun little gals I could bring back sometime.

Dylan Eywind

History of Interspecies Relations II

Little Folk and Hillfolk. The History of Halflings

**A. I assumed you’d pick up on the simplified ways of halflings well enough.**

Among the other emerging races, halflings seemed to be the most accidental. Their appearance was simple and singular as the first public halfling Polly Littlerock stopped by a minotaur household to ask for their Wi-Fi password. Having no resemblance to any other race (as dwarves and gnomes would not be known for roughly another year), the neighbors welcomed them to it if they would answer some questions. When their relationship proved amicable enough, Polly began a rapid chain of communications through her people that the “tallfolk” were pretty fun to get along with.

Halflings are, as their name suggests, just under 3 feet tall on average. They largely resemble small humans, if with larger, fur-topped feet (though shaving them is a common trend) and tendencies towards broader noses, thick eyelashes and curly hair. Due to their foraging and secluded way of living, halflings tend to put on weight faster than other races. Not only does this make them thicker and curvier than a human of their size would be, but their race is notably better endowed than expected. They are most commonly found in rural America and Europe with some settlements in Russia.

Contrary to common belief, halflings do not get their name by their height. The word is an ancient word in their native language, a swift and musical tongue that is difficult to learn. In fact, halflings have had incredibly little contact with other races before their revelation. Their large feet and thick soles are surprisingly soft and nimble, and their small size and sharp senses make them masters of natural stealth.

The main legend concerning halflings surrounded their small but immensely comfortable homes. True enough, halflings tend to live in hollowed out hills or boarded up caves, spending years constructing furniture and cookery that would make their “nests” exceptional. This tradition led to halflings having such comfortable dens that they left it as rarely as possible; content to stay secluded or in small social circles, often with tunnels leading between such houses.

This secluded lifestyle has led to many interesting developments. Even among the modern world, halflings prefer to stay in the comfort of their homes. Their introduction to television, the internet, and food delivery services has only made this worse. Studies show that many halflings won’t leave their homes for weeks or months at a time but are glad to invite or welcome friends to their home.

Their seclusion has also encouraged most halflings to bear a notable accent. It is not universal, but much like centaurs, they tend to carry some distinct (usually a warped southern or Irish) accent. There have been families of halflings that have spent generations in America while still carrying the Irish accents of their homeland, simply from never meeting enough people to learn the local accents.

As with most species, halflings have shown sexual interest in humans. Despite their small stature, their thick and flexible builds make them compatible with the largest of races. Halflings have been known to enjoy partners as big as centaurs with little to no discomfort, and females of species smaller than humans (besides fellow halflings, naturally) may have trouble fitting a halfling male inside them. Their indulgent nature and fondness for the indoors leads to many of them entering adult entertainment. Sex and food appear to be the only things that motivate them to leave their homes, so halflings are only particularly common in the workplace such as adult film and sexworkers.

Statistically, halflings are slowly beginning to emerge into more social lives. Studies show that halflings may have been wowed by the introduction of online life but have begun to grow interested in the world that it only teases at. Food and sex can be brought to their door but the urge for new experiences begins to take hold of their curiosity. More join the workplace to learn and teach from humans, and the groundwork set up for goblins makes our world easily accessible for them. It’s a positive sign that the species of the world have different things to offer one another and that they can draw us closer together.