An Update! (I'm So Sorry)

hello!

as the title says, I am deeply sorry it took me this long to get around to writing a proper new update - as you might be aware if you've been keeping up with me over on twitter, things have been changing at a rapid pace on my latest video project and it's frankly turned into a much more radical shift in my process than I was expecting. already when I look back at the early drafts for this current project I see someone writing with a very different voice and trajectory - I really hope that when this thing finally comes out, my desire to show something new in my work is apparent.

so what is "this thing"? last I updated you all it was a video about the ideology of cyberpunk (as well as a close examination of Cyberpunk 2077) - well, err, yeah, that's not happening anytime soon. I loved the idea, still do, but at a certain point I realized that while it made sense from both an academic and YouTuber's perspective, my heart just wasn't in it - more specifically, I realised how frequently over the last year I'd made videos without really considering my heart at all. at various points throughout 2019 and 2020, in an effort to keep up a respectable schedule, there were definitely many times I committed myself to a project I really had little personal investment in - it was content I was producing and I knew I could use it as an opportunity to communicate a positive message or at least entertain, but it felt more like I was a producer for the Jack Saint channel than, well, jack saint. so as we hit february and I figured out this cyberpunk video just wasn't working out, I asked myself a question - if I could make something right now that specifically expressed something artistically and intellectually that I felt was most important to express, what would it be?

the current project is prospectively titled Teenage Wastelands.... or I felt that I belonged someplace.... or maybe just Someplace To Belong. ok, i'm still figuring out the title, but it's essentially a combination autobiographical piece and analysis of recent youth culture trends in western capitalist countries - think everything from the greasers to the hippies, the mods to the punks, etc. looking at the realities themselves as well as media from Rebel Without A Cause (1955) to Quadrophenia (1979) to Suburbia (1984), my goal is to both express the unique pathologies of growing up in post-World War II capitalist nations and chart a coherent cultural narrative for the experiences of kids like myself who grew up mainly in the '00s (an era so ill-defined there still isn't consensus on how to even say it). now months into redrafts, I firmly believe this is the culmination of my work up to this point - I've always flirted with using common experiences and nostalgia-based pop culture connections to communicate complicated social and political points, but now I think I'm getting to the heart both of how complex a network of influences this is and how unexpectedly simply it can be communicated to people. my goal is really what it always should have been - I want to communicate complicated ideas as intuitively as I can. also, I want my videos to look cooler, so I'm working on that too.

so I hope this adequately expresses what I've been up to, and as always I want to thank you all for your patience up to this point. every few days I have this intrusive thought about the reality that if it weren't for the financial support I receive from my viewers, there is no way someone with the extremely unpredictable work process that I have could keep myself away from either poverty or multiple side-jobs. and then I remind myself that I'm literally getting the support because I'm producing something people value, but all the same my thoughts wind up twisted and muddled. rest assured, I cannot say how much appreciation I have for those of you who have stuck with me up to now. all the best, and I hope you enjoy what I have lined up for you soon.

jack