Celeste Expands; for petrons

1.  My name's Celeste Kindt.  The docs think the best thing for me right now is to keep a diary.  It's supposed to help manage my mental health.  Well, here’s hoping.

I’ve been hearing about Morphasia since I was a teen, I mean we all have, but a couple years ago, back in my early twenties I actually saw a Morphasian Morb, or whatever you call it.

It was this girl.  She was pretty, but not like super hot or anything, just kinda a string bean of a girl with plain brown hair in a pony, and she was on this escalator at the mall.  I was down in the food court and I suddenly heard all this commotion, and i look up and it's like bloomph there just this explosion of flesh spilling over the sides of the escalator.  It was like watching bread dough rise.  The girl’s face kept getting rounder, and her ass just kept exploding wider and wider, and she was sorta stuck near the bottom of the escalator and the people above her were like tripping and like falling into her enormous ass crack.  I couldn't help it, i knew it was a horrible thing for someone to go through, but some business dude just like tripped and you could see his legs sticking out from between her mass cheeks, so I just burst out laughing.  She didn't hear me, I don't think.  She had plenty to deal with, but I’ve always felt bad about that.  But here I am, slowly getting bigger with no idea when it will stop or how big i'll get, and all I can think about is how I don't want anyone to laugh at me.

2.  Right now, I’m just kinda normal fat.  I didn't even feel it happen.  I was asleep in bed with my friend Kaycee.  We hook up occasionally, but that night we were both just tired and she didn’t want to deal with the commute home so she stayed over.  I wake up and Kaycee is yelling at me. 

 “Celeste, Celeste you gotta get out your getting fat!”  By the time I shook myself awake and could tell what was going on it had stopped.  Kaycee had called the Morphasian Emergency Services already.  I didn’t really feel that different until I went to get out of bed, and my body felt different.  not vastly different, more like when you have a shirt on backwards, or inside out, parts of me moved in ways I didn’t expect. I looked down and I had this flabby gut.  

I didn't get super bent out of shape about it, it didn't really seem real at the time, I felt like I was gonna be fine, but then I realized that Kaycee was scared. She wasn’t scared of me really, she was scared she was gonna get smashed against a wall by a wave of fat, and that's fair, but it felt bad to see her look at me and be scared, so i threw on a robe and we both went outside to stand in my apartment buildings shitty little yard and wait for someone to show up and give an all clear.

Eventually a giant truck showed up, and I rode alone in the back of it, in a trailer that probably had more square footage than my apartment while Kaycee rode up front with the drivers.  It was a shitty morning, and it only got shittier when a scientist examined me and told me that most likely I would keep getting bigger.  That I probably had “Slow Morphasia”, and that at some point I would almost certainly get bigger again.  I asked how much bigger, I asked how much time it would take, and they were like “Meh, we don’t know, could be another hundred pounds, could be a few tons.

So now I’m just living one day at a time, waiting to get bigger.  When you develop Morphasia the government provides you housing, and thats rada, and I dont mind being a little fat, I’m honestly rocking it I think, but its kinda like living with a bomb.  I just don’t know when I’m gonna go off.  When I might turn into a public spectacle, when I might just turn into an embarrassing blob, so it's gotten a little hard to go out and do anything

3. I thought I’d mind being fat, but I really don't. I'm not looking forward to being so huge I can’t do shit, but I don't hate how I look..  I got bigger again yesterday.  I was in the shower, and suddenly I felt almost like I was throwing up.  Not as unpleasant as that, just like my chest was kinda exploding.  But in a way that wasn't nauseous or painful.  I looked down and my cool little chubby body was now kinda huge, or at least what I would have considered huge a few months ago.  I’m fatter now than any girl I’ve ever slept with.  My shower is big, it's designed for Morphasians, so I wasn't too worried. I finished my shower and went to assess the damage, and I mean, I now had way more gut and hips.  But hey I had some more in the breast department too, and that was kinda neat.  Honestly, after all the waiting, I was kinda happy.  I sorta explored my body for a bit, I liked how a lot of things felt now.  I felt sensuous. I also got out of breath bending over to tie my shoes, not a huge fan of that.  I thought about going out for a jog, but I’m pretty sure moving at more than a sedate walk is in my past.  Oh well, if this is the worst that happens I'll count myself more than happy.

4. Got bigger again today.  Really don’t wanna talk about it but I guess I should.  I was out at the private Morphasian beach.  I was talking to this girl who was all giant boobs and long dark hair, super cute and I just felt it happening again.  The girl Amy was super sweet and concerned, but we’d had a really nice flirty vibe going.  I felt really normal, it was nice, and then boom.  Once again I had to be reminded of the fact that I have no control over my body.  I made some really awkward excuses about having to go and tried to run home, but of course I’m so heavy that my going was super slow and I was an out of breath mess when I made it home.  I’m so tired of living like this.

5. I gained some more weight and I’m starting to feel weird about how I look.  Like up til now I’ve kinda been able to dig getting bigger.  But this last gain, I didn't just get bigger, I feel like my fat distribution changed.  Suddenly I have all this arm fat, my upper arm flab rolls over my elbows, and I can just  really feel that my arms are big, like even compared to the rest of me.  My thighs too, they got kinda blocky.  I’m not sure I feel as feminine asI did before.  I’m also really starting to feel limited in what I can do.  Things have been slower and more inconvenient before now, but now I really worry about chairs supporting me, or fitting in spaces.  I absolutely can’t be bothered with shaving my legs at this point.  Thank god theres a morphasian salon for this kinda shit, but I’m really feeling like I’m just waiting to become more and more helpless

6.  I've gotten to the point where I really feel like a Morphasian now.  Before I felt fat, but like a normal fat person.  But I gained weight in my sleep again two days ago, and the size I am now, the way I’m carrying my weight, it just doesn't feel natural.  My belly is enormous now, its this flabby inner tube that hangs down to my knees.  It's so much harder to deal with now, so much harder to move it around, to get to touch places of myself, to maneuver myself into clothes.  When I woke up with it I couldn't even figure out how to get out of bed, I had to rock myself out, and it was so weird.  I look down and all I see is me. It’s not soul crushing, it's not the worst thing about all of this, but it's weird, and weirder still is the fact that I’m going on a date while I’m like this.

7.  So I’m going on a date with an old girlfriend of mine named Morgan.  We used to casually date a couple years ago, and then she met someone that she met someone she could get serious with.  They got married, had a kid, and then they kinda hit the rocks.  So Morgan is single again, and complemented some pics i posted on social media so we decided to meet.  I’m nervous, but Morgan gained a lot of weight with her pregnancy, so it kinda feels like we can relate a little bit.  I think I’ve gained more weight, but honestly, it's hard for me to tell at this point.  I’m so big keeping track of myself is honestly kinda hard, also i’ve changed so much in the last few months that it's just hard to tell what I’m supposed to feel like.  Morgan and I are meeting at an outdoor cafe, cause I don't want her reacting like Kaycee did if I start to get bigger again, I hope this wasn't a mistake.

8  For the first time in a while I feel like things might be okay.  The date with Morgan was… really nice.  Morgan used to be this short soft girl, she worked as an attorney, and she looked good in suits.  And I mean she's still all that, but she's so fat now, after having a kid and gaining like 100 lbs, she just kept going.  It was nice to hang out with someone who has changed so much.  I guess I could hang out with other Morphasians for that, but I know Morgan, we can relate.  When she got here we went to do a cheek kiss and our bellies rubbed against each other and we both giggled.  Despite the fact that I’m an elephant now, there was alot of chemistry really fast, and we didn't stay at the cafe long.

Sex like this is an undertaking, its a lot of effort, but, its still really nice.  Like really nice, my whole body, all this new flesh, is so sensitive.  And so ready to be touched, and getting to explore Morgan’s rolls, play with her fat little fingers and caress her rounded face, I really liked that.  Morgan told me that after she’d had her kid she felt really unsexy for a while, but she started taking sexy photos of herself, just to have in private, and that helped her feel her new body.  I’m gonna try doing the same.  We’re gonna hook up again in a week or two.  Hopefully I can still move the next time she comes by.  I’ve gained more weight since then, my hips are totally out of control.  I can't fit through normal door ways anymore, I have to sorta angle myself through.  And the fact that my belly is practically dragging the floor makes even that super difficult.  They installed one of those robot arms in my bred room.  It helps pull me up out of bed every morning now.  It also helps me put on my pants and tie my shoes.  Its so fucking awkward, I feel like a dumb baby.  But even though I can do even less for myself than I could a month ago, I feel less like the world is laughing at me, or pitying me.  So I guess it's all right.

9.  I can’t walk around without a bellyboard.  My belly is such a fucking avalanche of flab, that i simply can move it with just myself.  Its fucking humiliating. I’m so big, and getting around is such a pain now.  More and more I’m okay with how my body looks, and how my body feels.  Why does it all have to come at the cost of what my body can do?  I’ve been taking boudoir shots lately, and I love how I look in them.  I honestly do.  I find myself sexy now in a way I don’t think I did when I was thin, but that feels like the only thing I can really do anymore.  Going out and doing things is just too much trouble, too much anxiety of what people are thinking about me.  Morgan thinks I should post some of my sexy pictures online. She thinks I need to see more people are okay with seeing me be the way I am now.  I’m gonna try, but I don't know why it matters.  I don’t feel like I’m gonna stop growing anytime soon, so going out is gonna stop being something I don't wanna do, and become something I straight up just can’t do.  Honestly, I’m sort of okay with that at this point I guess.

10 I’m immobile.  Woke up today, and I was just a big puddle of flab.  These apartments have voice recognition software, so it didn't take 10 minutes before there were some BBI technicians up in here all ready to fit me with a bunch of mobility aids and things to help ease my transition into basically being a plant.

That's overly bitter.  They were nice, they were supportive. This whole thing is honestly kinda a relief.  This was the worst that could happen, and it has, and now, even if I get bigger than this, things aren't gonna change much.  so now I can just plan what my life is gonna be.  Morgan’s gonna come over in a couple days.  I don’t know what we’ll do when she gets here, I’m not much good for anything at this point, I suppose she can use me as a bed.

11  She absolutely used me as a bed, and I am great at that, and it's kinda awesome.  

I won't lie.  I was pretty much in self pity mode when Morgan got here.  The thing is though, since I’m a big helpless blob, I really couldn't do much to stop Morgan from cheering me up in some very intimate ways.  My body is huge and round and I can’t really perceive myself, but it's also sort of like a huge waterbed, and I’ve always had a good time with waterbeds.  I honestly thought sex was right out, like I can’t spread my legs that far at this point, but when Morgan wants to eat box she’s very persistent.  Feeling my entire body quake and rub against itself while I was completely helpless, it was so hot, and freeing.  I thought I would feel shitty, like I couldn't participate.  Like I was some impotent dude, but I felt present.  I felt there with Morgan.  It didn't last super long, I don’t really have that much stamina anymore, but when it was over we fell asleep and iI felt really at peace with my body.

I woke up a few hours later with Morgan perched on top of my tits grinning at me like a gremlin.  I was like “What the fuck?” but she starts waving her phone at my face.  During my nap I started growing again.  But unlike Kaycee freaking out or something, Morgan just hung around filming it.  I’d never seen footage of myself growing.  Morgan said it was really hot and I couldn't disagree.  It was fascinating, watching my skin pulse, watching me swell.  It wasn't some embarrassing site like that girl on the escalator all those years ago, it was almost elegant. Watching the video, both of us got horny and Morgan ended up burrowing her way under my huge ass gut to do something about it.

12  I started a website.  It's part erotica, part documentary.  I keep cameras on myself all the time now, so when I grow, and man have I grown, I have plenty of shots from plenty of angles.  It's hot, really hot.  I love to watch it myself, but moreover, I want other people to be able to watch it, to be able to see a Morphasian grow, and for it to not be traumatic, I want people to not feel so much fear and disgust as I felt going into this.

Last week I completely outgrew my apartment.  I’m gargantuan now, as big as a bus.  And when it happened, even as I felt my flesh oozing forward, pressing tightly against the walls of my room, all I worried about was if I got good shots or not.  Yeah it was inconvenient and it was awkward, but it wasn't the end of the world.  I had goals I wanted to achieve on the other side of it, and that's what's really important.  Even though I have to rely on machines to move me, even though I’m like a t-rex with these practically useless arms that can't even touch my own privates, I have things I can do.  And ways I can manage, feeling like that has become so important.  I feel pretty good about my life right now.

13  I’ve started going out again.  It's nice.  It's a pain in the ass, my new apartment is practically like a warehouse and if I wanna go anywhere they basically have to send a huge forklift to peel me off the floor like a spatula flipping a particularly ungainly burger.  But I get to go to the beach, I get to show off my body to women and be confident about it, and that feels so empowering.  I’ve even been going down to places that aren't Morphasian exclusive.  I want normal everyday people to see me.  Today I was at the beach near my old apartment, before I changed.  It was nice, their were stares, oh man there were definitely stares.  But I just waved to people and smiled, and enjoyed the air.  I was there for about an hour when I heard two girls arguing.  Apparently one of them had forgotten to pack their beach blankets, and they didn't want to get sandy.  I could feel a sly grin spread across my chubby face.  “Hey ladies,” I called, “I can be your beach blanket.”  One of them was just confused, but one of them was obviously super interested.  Shortly I convinced her to climb up on me, her tiny little hands digging pleasantly into my fat.  She spread herself out of me, her head resting on one of my tits.  There was wonder in her voice when she said “Wow, you’re soft”.  Her friend eventually joined, and we spent the day lazing in the sun, feeling each other's skin caress one another.  I honestly couldn't think of a more perfect day.  

There's alot of things I can’t do now.  And alot of things that are harder to do, but even though I might keep getting bigger, I don't fear my life anymore.  I’m controlling my life, I’m controlling how people see me.  Even though I’m a giant blob, I can choose to be a sexy confidant blob, and I guess that makes all the difference.