Gdzlla's Size Changery!

I haven't seen the movie.

Added 2025-08-11 22:32:37 +0000 UTC

Dakota Johnson and Isabella Merced were halfway through another long, dreary day on the set of Madam Web. Both had reached the same conclusion weeks ago. They didn’t love the script, but hey, it was a paycheck.

They were trudging back from lunch, passing the security fence that kept paparazzi and superfans at bay, when a voice cut through the noise.

“YOU’RE RUINING MADAM WEB!”

Dakota froze. Isabella looked up just in time to see a wiry guy in a trench coat push toward the fence. Then, in one motion, he whipped something out from inside his coat.

Dakota’s eyes went wide. “Oh my God, is that a—”

“—wand?” Isabella said, then snorted. “Wow. Some sad Harry Potter shit right here.”

The man wagged the wand dramatically and shouted something about “the sacred timeline of the Spider-Verse.” A burst of glittery pink beams shot out and hit them both square in the chest.

“Uh… what the fuck was that?” Dakota blinked.

“Probably some TikTok influencer trying to go viral,” Isabella shrugged. “Come on, let’s get security.”

They took two steps.

Dwindle.

Isabella slowed, staring at her hands. “…Dakota. I… I think I’m… shrinking?”

Dakota looked over, then down. “Oh my God, you are shrinking! Wait… oh my God, I’m shrinking!”

“What did he do to us?” Isabella hissed.

“I don’t know! This can’t be happening! People don’t shrink!” Dakota said, her voice shaking.

“It’s not stopping!” Isabella said, her voice squeaking higher. “We gotta find somebody. Security, EMTs, the director, anybody!”

They bolted toward set, dodging the towering legs of crew members. Somewhere behind them, the “wizard” was still yelling about comic book accuracy.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the 2024 film Madam Web had such a lengthy production delay. They had to reverse the shrinking. True story.