32. The call of the void (Part 4)

The carriage took me through the narrow streets of the lower district. It was the second time in two days that I subjected myself to the rough treatment of their cobblestone roads, as I stared at the passing houses. 

The carriage finally came to a stop at the church just as I had requested. I had told them it was to avoid scaring the children, but in truth, I simply wished to experience the walk the girl had taken yesterday from the church to her home. 

With the festival starting soon, the place was already packed with people getting the stalls readyl, and visitors already trickling in.

Looking at them go, I couldn't help but think about how a commoner’s daily life was something entirely alien to me. Working endless hours at menial jobs, walking up and down streets carrying produce or materials... Wouldn’t it be easier to move everything at once using a carriage or, at the very least, a cart? I shook my head at the thought; it wasn’t my place to say what did or didn't make sense here. This isn't my world. 

Instead of focusing on other people, I took in the sights as I rounded the corner to Plum Street. Would this place feel intimidating or inviting to a child?

It only took a moment to reach the orphanage. It wasn’t especially large. Perhaps the size of a country house, but then again, it was still considered on the larger side in a city such as Evergreen.

As I stepped on the paved path leading to the front door. Two girls came through the door. I froze as I immediately recognised Silika.

The girl seemed was happily motioning to her friend as they made their way toward me, unaware of my presence as of yet. It wasn’t until they were only a few feet away that Silika’s friend noticed me.

“M-My lord?! W-What b-b-brings you here?”

I now recognise her as the stuttering greeter at the church yesterday. 

So they were friends after all? 

Silika looked up and, seemingly recognising me and smiled shyly. She was dressed differently today, a patched-up yellow dress and in her arms was a black rabbit plush… And to my surprise, a Scorn insignia hung around her neck...

A very unusual sight, to say the least. Why would a child ever wish to be baptised under Scorn of all gods?

No, that wasn't important… For now, at least. There must be some deeper reason behind it and I was in no position to ask.

“If it isn't our greeter from yesterday, and Silika. Pardon me, young lady, but I don't think I ever caught your name?” I said in a soft, controlled tone so as not to scare the girl again.

“C-Coleen, m-my lord. I-I w-w-wi-ish y-you a g-g-great sp-spring festival!” She said with surprising excitement. 

Silika seemed just as excited, peeking behind me, probably thinking about heading out to the festival awaiting her at the church's plaza.

Not wanting to accidentally put her in a sour mood, I stepped aside.

“A great festival to you both as well. I'ill see you later.” I said as I nodded to them.

Coleen's expression shifted rapidly after hearing my words. Did she pick up on some implication behind my words?

“A-As you s-say, my lord. B-B-Bles-s-s-s-sed be.”

“Blessed be.” I responded.

Without another word, the two began excitedly walking down the busy street towards the festivity. I felt something pull in my chest as I saw their small shape disappear into the crowd, but I shook off the strange feeling and instead continued to walk toward the main door. 

I knocked, and a blue-haired boy answered the door.

“What is it?” The boy asked in a defiant tone.

“Could you fetch me the director of this establishment? I would like to have a word.”

“Do you mean Uncle?” The boy asked, slightly confused.

It must be how the children called the person in charge, so I nodded.

The boy slammed the door on my nose as I heard him running down the hallway.

I guess manners are not a priority in this establishment… It’s a good thing that I don't have a particularly… Aristocratic… Personality. This incident alone would be enough to earn the boy a day at the pillory... Or even a notch on the ear or the tip of a finger…

I shuddered at the idea. I would do well to warn this ‘Uncle’ that not all nobles are as understanding as I am…

Not a moment later, a man rushed to the door. He was surprisingly young, no older than I. Probably much younger, actually. His long white hair was tied behind his back, and sweat was pooled on his brow.

“Welcome, my lord! What brings you to this place?” The man said with a smile, but I could tell from his short sentence that he was out of breath.

He probably had rushed to the door after the message from the boy. After all, it was unusual for a noble to visit an establishment in the lower quarters. 

Now. How should I approach this conversation? Should I get straight to the point…? Or maybe I should build a positive rapport first…?

“I wanted to discuss the possibility of sponsoring your establishment.” I decided to open the conversation with what this man stood to gain most from.

He looked surprised.

“Is that so?!” His tone betrayed his utter confusion. 

Maybe that wasn’t such a good opener after all… It was customary to give a favour to receive one from a merchant or another noble, but perhaps it was not so simple for a commoner?

“Well, yes… Amongst other things…” I said, trying my best not to let my own nervousness show on my face.

“Well… Why don’t we continue this conversation in my office? It will be more comfortable… My lord.” The man said with a confused smile.

My opener wasn’t much of a success, but at least I was moving ahead.

He opened the door fully and guided me through the hallways.

This place was utterly packed with children… They ran up and down the hallway excitedly. Some of them left the building in a group just as we entered, probably heading to the festival as well. Running, laughing, playing… Lilica would have loved this place... 

The orphanage was also in relatively good condition. I had expected the place to be dirty and rundown, but the place was clean and everything was well-maintained.

Obviously, this wasn't one of those orphanages they wrote about in books.

We finally reached the office. The man offered me a seat in front of his desk while he sat down on the opposite side.

“Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the director of this orphanage,  Delian Blaine. The kids here also call me ‘Uncle’. May I ask who you are, my lord?”

He looked more composed sitting behind his desk. It did give him a dignified look to be sitting behind such a large and busy imposing thing. Despite his young age and dishevelled clothing, he truly looked like a director now.

“I am Baron Marshall Ashbrook, first son of Count Alan Ashbrook of Clotop.”

The director looked at me silently for a moment before bowing his head.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Count apparent. What can this common man do for you today?”

He lifted his head again, looking more nervous than ever. Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest introduction. Too intimidating. Baron would have been enough. 

I should try to relax the atmosphere. 

I looked around the room and noticed a well-stocked library.

“Quite an impressive collection you hCW.” I said while pointing at the shelves with my chin.

Delian looked in the direction and smiled.

“Children are full of questions. I’m a director as well as an educator. It is my solemn responsibility to fulfill their curiosity.”

He didn’t seem to be annoyed by this. In fact, he looked satisfied. Like a man who had found his purpose in life. Something anyone should envy.

Delian paused for a moment, as if lost in thought, before turning to me.

“Do you have any children, my lord?”

His question was innocent, but immediately, I felt a pit grow in my chest. A hollow whistling echoed through my heart. I tried to appear unbothered, but I must have failed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” He said, looking genuinely sorry about his question, but I shook my head.

“Don’t be. It is in part the reason that brings me here today.”

He suddenly perked up, probably remembering that this was no mere social chat.

“Ah, yes, so about that... What can I do for you exactly?”

Suddenly, my seat felt too stiff and my shirt too tight. 

What was I so nervous about? Was this a mistake after all? 

No. 

No! 

It's just nerves, it’s fine. 

I'm fine.

“I’m looking to adopt a child.” I said suddenly.

He blinked a few times. As if he struggled to register the information.

“If I may be frank, my lord. We don’t often have adoptions in this establishment. Most of the children who come here are cases that require special attention. I’m not sure you will find…”

I waved my hand, cutting him off.

“I am aware of the details regarding your orphanage. I’m also aware of the relation you have with the Septenary church, and your expert handling of the children and their education.” I said while trying to sound as pleasant as I could. "And I do not come here, blindly looking to adopt a child. I’m looking to adopt a girl. A particular girl. Her name is Silika.”

Just as I said those words the director's expression visibly shifted.

“Uhm… Silika… That is... Well...” 

He struggled to get his thoughts out as his face contorted in all sorts of ways as if wrestling with opposing thoughts and emotions.

"I understand that she's a sweet-looking child, but wouldn't you consider adopting another child instead?" He finally asked me, making me raise an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't consider adopting a child in the first place if it wasn't for her." I simply retorted. 

His lips pursed slightly.

"You see, my lord. Silika is not what I would call a typical child. Even by my standards."

I gathered he meant she was unusual due to her handicap. I shrugged.

"We all have our differences." I simply answered.

"But my lord, she's…"

"Deaf? Do you think I'm foolish enough to come here without even knowing that much?" I said with a chuckle. 

I understood that he had his reservations, but his stammering and lack of straightforwardness was getting irritating. 

'Even by my standards’ he says!

"No, my lord. I assumed you already knew that much if you knew her name. I was talking about the daymares…" He said with a complex expression.

"Daymares?"

He nodded.

"Silika is not a typical child. She has gone through… Difficult things. Not only is she deaf, as you have already mentioned, but she has suffered tremendously in the past.”

He took a moment and tried to swallow audibly. His throat was getting dry. Was it just nerves?

“Her arms, her legs… Her entire body is covered in countless scars, but that's not what is most important. Her soul is also scarred. Her mind is fractured between the present and the past… The very worst of her past."

He paused for a moment, probably trying to arrange his thoughts.

"My lord, can I ask you something? Do you sometimes recall events from the past, and the mere thought brings pain to you?"

At that moment, I recalled Lilica dying in bloodied sheets before me. Like an icicle piercing my heart. I closed my eyes.

"Every day of my life." I answered, and he nodded.

"Silika does too, but she doesn't simply recall them. She relives them. When the memories occur, she will stop being with us and will simply drop and scream. It's not to say it happens all the time. She is strong. Unbelievably strong. But at a moment's notice, she could break again. It’s a constant uphill battle to try and get her to move on from those memories of hers. Every night, she cries in her sleep and wakes up in a sweat, screaming. Someone must be with her, at her side. Could you be there? No matter the time of day or night? No matter the circumstances?" He asked seriously, his eyes unwavering.

I didn't know what to say.

Could I be there? I wanted to say I could, but could I truly…?

Before I could muster my thoughts, the door burst open, slamming so hard against the wall that I jumped out of my seat. I snapped my head around, heart pounding in my chest.

Standing in the doorway was the girl from earlier. Silika’s friend. 

Coleen, I think her name was.

She looked like she had run through a battlefield. Her hair was wild, her face swollen above the brow, and her dress torn at the shoulder.

"U-Unc-c-cle!"

Her scream shattered whatever composure either I or the Director had maintained.

Delian completely dropped our discussion and rushed to the girl. 

"What is it, Colie? What happened?"

Understanding that something more important was going on, I also got up from my seat and rushed towards them. 

Coleen was here, of course, but where was…

"I-It's S-S-Si-li-li-lika!" Tears pooled in Colleen's eyes as she struggled to say her friend's name. 

I felt a shiver run down my spine at the mention of Silika's name. 

Delian patted the girl's back, trying to keep her from breaking down.

"It's okay, Colie. Silika. Yes. Silika. What happened to her?"

I was at my wits' end. 

Just… What is going on?

This. Isn’t. Good.

She struggled to get the words out as they got caught in her throat. She took a deep breath and finally managed to utter the words.

"T-T-They t-took her! T-They took Silika..!"