26. Spring Market

-Silika, help me with this!- Jade signed to me. 

-Yes, just a second!- I signed back.

We traded hand signals back and forth, almost as fluidly as words. Over the cold months, Jade and I had tirelessly practised our ‘secret language’ as we had come to call it. 

We had not quite mastered it yet, but we could hold conversations with ease to the point where Hare couldn’t keep up anymore. 

I had gotten to know her quite a bit more through our practices and discussions. 

As I had guessed, she was older than I by two years. I had just turned six years old during the winter, so I guess that would make her eight. 

Birthday celebrations here were quite tame in contrast to how they had been held back at the estate, but it was still a very exciting event, especially with so many kids my age instead of grumpy adults. 

I had also learned how Jade had become an orphan only about 2 years ago. Her mother died giving birth to her, so she had grown up with her father, a violent drunk. He died in an accident with a carriage on a street not far from here, and she had lived here at the orphanage ever since. 

Not that her father's death was anything she seemed seemed to mourn. 

She didn’t talk much about what it was like growing up, but from what I gathered, her father had hurt her. 

A lot. 

Not in the way my parents had hurt me. It was slower. Not as dramatic, but just as painful. The way only bitter adults knew. She told me that his death was the best thing that ever happened to her and that she was very happy at the orphanage.

On the other hand, I didn’t speak about my past at all, and she never asked me anything other than to check if I already knew about something we were talking about. 

I think she knew I was from a noble background since she often had to teach me how to act. Or at least, that I wasn't exactly like other kids. Nothing obvious, just small little things like who do you bow your head to or who eats first at the table. I was very thankful for that…

We also spoke about more fun things too!

One time, I explained to her what the nickname I had given her meant. Surprisingly, she was very pleased with it. She also tried to teach me her real name, but the hand symbols for names used the alphabet, and I still struggled to read and write. I did learn how to sign it, but since I didn’t understand what it was supposed to sound like, it didn’t meant anything to me when I signed it. It felt like saying a bunch of letters for no reason. She also told me that she preferred the nickname I had picked for her anyway. Being able to say her name in 2 signs instead of 6 was an added bonus.

Hare, on the other hand, was another story. He seemed to be offended when he finally understood his nickname. As it turns out hare and rabbit are apparently words used as insults for cowardly people. I found that very odd since I just thought hares were cute and white. I had to explain that it was just what his hair and eyes reminded me of rabbits in winter, but he still didn’t like it. 

In the end, he insisted that I call him ‘Uncle’.

-What are you spacing out for? We have work to do!- Jade signed as she pulled me out of my daydreaming.

The winter had drawn to a close, and the winds of spring had begun to blow in. The puddles of water left by the melting slowly had dried up. It was now time for a great event called ‘Spring cleaning’ at the orphanage. An activity in which all children had to take part… Including me.

-How are your chores going?-

Hare asked as he happened to pass us as I was about to pick up a carpet.

I stood up and wiped my hands.

-Almost done, Uncle Hare.-

He scowled.

-Just Uncle.- He signed clumsily.

-Slip of the hand, Uncle Hare.-

He grimaced for a moment before giving some word of encouragement to Jade and continuing on his way.

Jade and I picked up the rolled carpet and made our way through the bustling hallways of the orphanage as the other children opened windows to air out the place and wiped every and all surfaces with a moist cloth. 

Once outside, we rolled off the carpet and had two older kids help us put it up on the drying line. We used rugbeaters on the hung carpets at intervals. It was hard work, and the dust coming from it made me sneeze, but I enjoyed it. There was something relaxing about hitting things with a stick without having to worry about breaking anything.

The clean-up continued for a few more hours, and by midafternoon, the orphanage had been cleaned inside and out. It was strange to think how quickly a few dozen kids could do things when they wanted to get it out of the way.

Sore, I let myself fall on the green grass of the orphanage’s backyard. Far above, the cloud lazily sailed across the blue sky. 

I breathed in the fresh air. 

It felt… Nostalgic? Was that the word?

It had been so long since I was last able to just lie down, stare at the clouds sailing through the sky and smell the grass.

Jade came strolling into the backyard. She walked toward me with something in her hand.

I sat up and looked at her curiously. She showed me a piece of paper, and my eyes grew wide with excitement.

It was a shopping list! A shopping list! 

-We’re going! Uncle said you could come as long as you practice reading the list.- Jade explained.

At the orphanage, it was considered one of the biggest rewards to be allowed to go on errands since it also meant you were allowed to buy yourself a snack on your way back. I had never gone on one before because of the snow, but this new adventure was just what I needed after a long winter indoors!

I nodded excitedly. I wiped the grass from my dress and ran to the dorm room. There, I grabbed the yellow satchel I had received on Baptism day and Darkie, who had stayed indoors while we were cleaning this morning.

“Oh! Hi, Silika!”

[Hi Darkie! We’re going on an errand!]

“An errand?! Awesome! I wonder what the city looks like!]

[Me too, can’t wait to see.]

I slipped him into my bag and ran to the front door, where Hare and Jade were waiting.

-You listen to Jade, ok? Don’t leave her side even for a moment!- He signed to me

I nodded seriously. He smiled and gave me a piece of paper.

-If you get lost, don’t move and try to get the attention of a guard. Give them the paper, ok?- He explained with his broken signing. 

Surprisingly, he was much slower to learn than I and Jade.

I nodded again. He said a few more spoken words to Jade and opened the door facing the street.

The wind blew into my face and, for a moment, I was back on that snowy day when I first arrived in this strange, mysterious place. A place far from everything I had ever known. Back then, it was only me and Darkie, but now… Now I had a family again.

I looked down at his small body tucked into my bag. He looked a lot like her. Like Goldie.

Even though it had been months now, she still lingered in my mind. Goldie, my only friend in that terrible place. The one who had saved me from those people… The expression she made that night was still just as vivid as it had been that day. An expression in equal parts happy and sad… 

My heart squeezed in my chest. I still couldn’t understand why she hadn’t left with me. I’m sure she would have become great friends with Hare, and we could have walked around the city just like…

Jade put her hand on my back, and I woke up from my daydreaming. 

-Are you ok? You’re very distracted today- She said with a worried expression on her face.

I hesitated to say something, but thought better of it. I shook my head as I wiped the tears that had been forming at the corner of my eyes.

We waved goodbye to Hare and went into the bustling streets of the city. It was very cramped despite how wide they were. The streets were packed with people and carriages going about their business. Our destination was not far, but we couldn’t push our way through the crowd that easily. I clutched onto Jade’s hand so as not to get separated until we reached the wide open plaza of the market.

It was an incredible sight. 

Stalls upon stalls with an untold variety of items on display. Clothes, tools, spices, fruits, vegetables, accessories… I looked around with excitement, but Jade brought me back to reality. 

-Time for you to practice!- She declared as she handed me the shopping list 

Immediately, my head started swirling. I might have learnt how to read hand symbols, but somehow, reading written words completely eluded me. Why did words need so many letters and strokes?

-We need… Carrots?- I signed uncertainly

Jade frowned immediately.

-At least try to read the list, Silika…-

My lips pursed, and I looked down at the list. The lines looked so pretty and neat, but their meaning was so vague. I had memorised the symbols of the alphabet, but I was still unsure about what sound they were supposed to make. I looked up and down the list until I spotted a string of letters I recognised.

-Cheese!- I declared proudly.

-And what type of cheese? How much?-

Urgh... How much cheese? Is that a trick question? There were a few other words after cheese… I narrowed my eyes as I tried to read them, but their meaning remained a mystery to me.

I looked down, embarrassed.

-I don’t know.- I signed shyly.

She kneeled so our faces were at the same height.

-That’s okay. We are here to practice. Just try your best, and we will get through it.- She consoled me.

She then took the time to explain what each of the words and letters meant. I guess it was just as hard to explain without sounds as it was to understand…

We went around the market practising reading and then going up to merchants to buy the necessary things. Jade took care of talking to the merchants, obviously, and had a pouch securely fastened to her waist from which she took out the small copper coins needed to purchase the items. I tried to fit what I could in my satchel, but it quickly grew heavy. Before long, as we walked through the stalls, my feet started hurting.

-Can we take a break?- I asked her, feeling completely out of breath.

She looked up at the sun, probably trying to guess the time.

-Can you hold on a bit longer?- She asked.

I shook my head from side to side. I felt as if I took one more step, I’d collapse.

She thought about it for a moment before looking back at me. 

-There’s a fountain at the centre of the market.- She said while pointing somewhere behind me. -You can go sit there, and I will come pick you up when I’m done with the rest of the list.-

I nodded with a relieved expression, and we began heading our separate ways.

There were a lot of people, and being a lot shorter than most, I couldn’t see the fountain from here. I headed in the direction Jade had given me, but after several minutes of strained walking, my legs were coming closer and closer to giving out… And yet I still didn’t reach any fountain; instead, I had reached the other side of the market. 

I looked behind me, but there was nothing but waves and waves of people weaving through the stalls. I tried to make my way through to the fountain again, but I couldn’t find it.

What do I do? What do I do?!

“Calm down, Silika! Remember what Hare told us before we left!” Darkie reminded me.

Right!

I dug through my satchel and… 

Where is it? Where’s the paper?! 

I looked around, panicked, but couldn't see my paper anywhere…

I did see a guard right over there. Should I go see him…? Just as the thought crossed my mind, I locked eyes with him. He must have noticed my panicked expression because he immediately began walking towards me.

What do I do? What should I say? 

He bent down, spear in hand, and smiled at me. He asked me something, probably if I was lost.

[Hum, I lost my friend.]

He tilted his head and asked me the same thing again.

I could feel cold sweat form on my brow. How could I make him understand me?

[I’m looking for the fountain, do you know where it is?] I asked anyway, hoping that he would somehow understand my words.

But instead, as expected, he began eyeing me strangely. His eyes lingered on the satchel at my side for a moment, and then back up at me. 

What was I thinking? It would have been a miracle for someone to actually understand me for once!

...Maybe I could try hand signs..?

-I am lost.-

He didn’t notice my hands moving immediately, so I backed up a bit and repeated. This time he definitely noticed, but his expression wasn’t good.  He said something snappy and pointed at my hands. His posture was different now. Not confused or friendly.

It was alarmed. Hostile.

[I’m sorry. I don’t..] I said as I signed the same, but before I could finish my sentence, he clamped down on both my hands with his glove. 

It hurt. 

He wasn’t being gentle or trying to calm me anymore. He began looking around while calling out something, drawing the curious and worried gaze of passersby toward us.

[I.. I.. I’m sorry.] I mumbled as another guard arrived.

The man squeezed harder as he talked to the other man while doing a circular motion around himself with his spear. 

Suddenly, the guard withdrew his hands from mine, startled, and I felt a reassuring warmth on my back. From the corner of my eye, I was relieved when I recognised Jade coming to the rescue. 

She spun me around and bent down so we were at eye level.

-Are you ok?- She asked, her expression filled with worry.

As I was about to nod, she looked at the guard behind me and said something spiteful toward them. She looked at me again as tears began pooling at the corners of my eyes.

I’d been so scared. 

Thank you, Jade… Thank you, thank you, thank you.

-Are you okay?- She asked me again

I nodded, and she hugged me tightly. I clung to her as I began crying. I continued to cry for a while as onlookers began forming a circle around us.

She stood tall again, not releasing her hold on me, and said something to the guards. They argued something back, but Jade wouldn’t hear any of it. Eventually, the two guards seemed to back off, but gave some sort of stern warning to me and Jade and as they did.

She separated from me slightly and smiled 

-Come on. Let’s go get some snacks.- She signed to me, before taking my hand and pulling me along.

-What happened? Did I do something wrong?- I asked her as I wiped the last of the tears still streaming from my eyes.

She shook her head.

-No, they’re just idiots. I’ll tell Uncle when we get home.-

As she hurriedly dragged me off, I looked back at the men who were still staring at us from the crowd. Strangely, it wasn’t anger I saw in their eyes.

No, it was something else.

It was a look not too dissimilar to the ones I had received at the church that day. The look people give when they don’t see a child.

Only filth.