4. The Golden Maid

Weeks went by, and eventually, the only person I would see consistently was a golden-eyed black-haired maid. She looked different from the others. Most people were of Meiriem descent, so the blue and pink eyes and hair were the norm; there were a few people with blonde hair or green eyes, but that was basically it. 

She stood out quite a bit.

I had seen her before around the estate, but she had never interacted with me since she normally worked in the kitchen or ran errands. 

I didn’t even know what her voice sounded like, but it seemed that she had been assigned as my personal maid.

That was a bit surprising since, normally, a young lady is not assigned one before her social debut, when her schedule becomes too busy to manage on her own, but they must have made an exception for me due to my… 

Condition.

Every day now, she brought me my meals, changed my clothes, and just generally took care of me. 

She also tried to entertain me, but seemed to understand quicker than the others that having a conversation would be impossible.

She tried a variety of different things instead.

One day, she brought me dolls. I had never had any before since I usually spent my days playing games with my siblings or pranking the estate’s staff. Dolls had never really interested me. I knew Ela had a few, but seeing them up close, I found them scary.

They just stared at me. Unblinking. Their expressions were forever frozen in a confused stupor. I looked at myself in the mirror.

Was that how people saw me? A creepy life-sized doll?

When the maid came back later, I handed her the dolls and shook my head. She lookedme in the eyes for a moment and nodded. She took them away and I never saw them again.

Somehow, I think she understood what I was thinking in that moment. The first person to do so, in a very long time.

As the days turned into weeks, I realised that more and more people were avoiding me. 

Other servants no longer came into the room to deliver meals or clean; they left them at the door for the black-haired maid to bring in. If I looked out the window and caught a gardener’s eye, they looked away. My own family hadn’t visited me in weeks.

The only person I saw all day was my personal maid. 

She wasn’t very old. Younger than my parents, but still an adult. She had a dignified, serious expression and had a small mole right underneath her golden eyes. Her black bobbed hair framed her face neatly and she wore an intricate silver Seeir insignia around her wrist. Most servants wore theirs proudly around their neck, but she kept hers tucked away. Maybe because she wasn’t a Meiriem follower?

I had taken to calling her ‘Goldie’ because of her eyes. 

At first, like anything else I said, she didn’t respond to the name. But I kept trying. Every time I saw her looking at me, I’d point and call out to her by that name. 

Eventually, she came over when I did. She mouthed something I didn’t understand while pointing at herself. I nodded excitedly.

[Yes! Goldie! Your name is Goldie!]

I felt warmth spread through my whole body. It had been a long time since someone looked at me like that, let alone tried to understand me.

Goldie smiled and bowed.

From then on, when I called her name, she would appear beside me, sometimes with tea or a snack. 

After the doll failure, Goldie brought me different toys. Wooden soldiers were fun until I got splinter. Toys that made me move around too much were also out, since they would just make me feel sick. 

Eventually, Goldie brought me a stuffed toy. A pink bear with button eyes. It was soft and fluffy. Its eyes didn’t feel judgemental or afraid like everyone else's. When holding it, I didn’t feel alone or afraid. It made me feel safe.

By then, I could sit up for a little longer. Goldie still served me meals in bed, but every day she helped me to the sofa while she cleaned or stitched clothes. I would sit there with my plush bear on my lap, facing the window, but all I could see were clouds. 

I wanted to see the garden. 

Every time I tried to explain,  Goldie just looked at the window, smiled and nodded. 

Frustrated, I took matters into my own hands.

While she was busy changing the sheets, I put my plan into action. I slowly slid off the couch, holding the teddy bear and sofa for balance. One foot touched the floor, then the other. Finally, I pushed myself up and stood tall. I slowly turned around while holding on to the couch and looked at my objective.

The window wasn’t far. I could make it.

I left the bear behind and slowly took my first step toward the window. 

So far so good.

I held my breath and took another step, this time with my left foot, but just as I lifted my right foot once more, the world spun around me. 

I lost my balance and fell face-first against the cold marble floor. 

The shock made my eyes well up. 

I struggled to lift myself off the ground and saw a small pool of blood where my face had been a moment before. I watched as more blood continued pouring down from my nose.

Did I break my face? Am I dying?! 

Panic set in as thoughts flooded my head, and pain spread across my face. I started crying. 

Goldie rushed to me and hugged me tightly.

[Mommy! It hurts! It hurts so much! Mommy!] I cried as I buried my face into Goldie’s dress.

I called for my mother so she would come and make the pain go away like she used to… 

But she did not come.

She hadn’t come. Not once. Since the day I woke up months ago.

Goldie rocked me gently back and forth, wiping my nose with a handkerchief. My eyes still burned, but being held made it better. I realised no one else had held me since the accident.

Goldie carried me back to bed and tucked me in. She then went and brought over my plush I had left on the sofa. 

I looked at its blue button eyes. Like my mother's. 

Eyes that hadn’t met mine in weeks. Eyes that hadn’t come to make the pain go away.

[I hate you!] I screamed out.

I threw the plush as far as my strength allowed it. Tears flooded my eyes again.

Goldie picked up the toy and looked at me. She didn’t say anything. Just nodded. 

I buried my face in my pillow and cried myself to sleep.

The next day, Goldie entered the room with a basket in her arms. 

She smiled and placed it at the foot of the bed as I sat up, curious.

She took out a sewing kit, coloured fabrics and buttons.

Was that… To make a new plush?

I scooted closer, interested. 

She picked out two black buttons and placed them in front of her eyes to show what they were meant to be. I nodded excitedly. She then showed me the box filled with dozens of multicoloured buttons expectantly. 

The answer was obvious. 

I pointed at the yellow buttons. Like Goldie’s.

She held out the pastel fabrics, but I frowned. I wanted something that reminded me of Goldie, but her hair was black, not colourful. 

I pointed at her hair, but she only tilted her head in confusion. She probably thought that I was just pointing at her... 

I grabbed her hand and pulled closer. Once she was close enough, I held a strand of her hair and showed it to her. 

She blinked for a second, confused. 

She grabbed some coloured fabrics and mouthed something, but I shook my head and showed her the strand of hair still in my hand insistently. Goldie looked perplexed, but eventually nodded.

She left the room and came back a few minutes later with dark fabric and a tray with tea and snacks. 

She propped me up against the pillows and placed the tray across my legs. I grabbed the cup of tea and watched as she began her work. 

When I saw her reach for a yellow fabric, I grunted in discontentment, but she didn’t stop, just gave me that calm smile of hers and kept sewing. 

She traced shapes on the cloth with chalk and cut pieces of different sizes. She stuck needles in them to give them shape before sewing it together. 

I couldn’t follow everything she was doing, but I watched as limbs took shape, then a head, and finally long ears. She then used some sort of white fluff to fill the body out and give it volume. 

By the time I was done with the tea, she held up the result of her work. 

A cute black bunny rabbit with golden button eyes, with yellow paws and inner ears. 

She handed it out to me and I delicately took it into my hands. I stared at the plush in awe. 

It was just like Goldie, but it could be with me all the time!

I looked at him and he looked back at me. He wasn’t staring. He wasn’t pretending. He was just… There.

[I’ll call him Darkie! Say hi to Goldie, Darkie!]

I made the bunny rabbit wave at Goldie. She smiled weakly and waved back. 

I hugged Darkie tightly, burying my face in his soft fabric. I would never have to be alone again with him around!

I looked up at Goldie, a smile spread across my lips, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes as she continued to force a smile. 

[Thank you, Goldie! You’re my best friend ever!] I said as I threw my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder.

At first, she didn’t move, but then, she slowly wrapped her arms around me as well and held me close.

I couldn’t ask her why she looked so sad, but as her best friend, I silently wished she would feel better soon.