Writing Update: 04/10/24
Added 2024-10-04 07:06:12 +0000 UTCChange: +4,791
Year to date: 174,437
Last week, chapter 4 was released to FM, with its final scene ("Icarus") posted to TGS and SH. Across all three platforms, it landed with barely a whisper: a few comments on FM (two positive, one critical) and nothing more, which is a bit disappointing.
On the other hand, there's been a positive up-tick on the writing front, with the word count rising back to its pre-summer levels. Whilst just under 5k for the week isn't exactly a blistering pace, it's not bad against the backdrop of a busy work-week. This has also included a lot of editing as I clean up the first half of chapter 5.
The first three scenes of chapter five ("Chiaroscuro", "Julia's Story", "The Long Night") are more or less done, minus another editorial pass or two, and I'm making steady progress through scene four ("Revenge"). At this pace, I reckon chapter five should be complete by the end of the month, if not sooner.
I'm curious as to peoples' thoughts about one of the comments left on FM. Criticism is good, and I certainly invite it, but in reference to this:
"....I think that your description of Julia's relationship with David goes beyond what is reasonable and believable. OK Julia still resents David for how he treated her at their first meeting and for later leaving her for the clinic without saying goodbye. But I just can't imagine that Julia would mutate into such a diabolical and hypocritical person and pretend that her Pavlovian training method only will help David to remain undetected as Cindy."
... do patrons feel I've pushed Julia too far in how I've portrayed her, that she's tipped over into farce or caricature?
Obviously, I don't feel the same way. I'd like to share a little story from way-back. Many years ago, I lived with a roomate and friend who dated this girl for a short spell, a month or two, tops. Then he broke up with her. I don't know how he broke up with her, but she was devastated - absolutely shattered by the breakup. A few days after, she contacted me and asked me to come around. I remember her room was dark and dank, and she'd been crying non-stop since the breakup. I didn't have much to offer her, just platitudes really; she just needed someone to listen and preferably for that person to be someone connected to the person who hurt her. As I remember--this was at university--she ended up needing special provisions for her exams that terms because her life just sort of fell apart for a short time.
I didn't understand her pain; at the time, I hadn't even been hurt that profoundly. I couldn't conceived what it was within my friend (former friend; time and distance and politics can be terrible) that could cut so deeply. I'm sure she eventually recovered, though in truth I lost touch with her.
But it seems to me, returning to Constant, that if someone could be so deeply hurt by something as seemingly innocuous as a short, one- or two-month relationship, then the pain Julia suffered after the way David treated her could be absolutely crippling.
It seems fairly common in the genre that the effects of all the horrible stuff inflicted on characters have limited psychological impact. And I get it, a lot of this stuff is fantasy, and who wants to consider body horror, dysmorphia, and trauma in their fantasy? But as Julia's role in the story grew, I realised I wanted to explore that common trope of the evil ex-girlfriend/wife and what brings them to do the terrible things they do. I wanted her to both be sickened by her own capacity for doing bad things, and also gradually seduced by the feeling of power and control, set against the backdrop of a vaguely-dystopian world keen to deny women both. And so whilst I agree with the criticism that she's a hypocrite--because people are, and we lie to ourselves constantly--I hope she hasn't moved beyond what is reasonable or believable.
Of course, these ideas and this characterisation are in the hands of an admittedly amateur author still learning their craft, so I fully accept that my intentions haven't necessarily been expressed clearly, or as I'd wish. I'm hoping the current chapter, and specifically "Julia's Story" goes some way to justifying her behaviour. And maybe most of all, I hope it's clear by the end that Julia herself is aware of her own behaviour, and sickened by it, but also unable to stop until it's too late.
Any thoughts?
***
Next week:
Monday: Sneak peek for all members, Julia and David's first time together
Wednesday: Sneak peek for Constant members and above, a glimpse at Julia's past
Thursday: fan art by Fraylim
Friday: the next update
Comments
Thank you for your comment - and though it was some time ago, I'm sorry for your pain. Re reviews: I know, I know - I worry about it too much, and everything said in the past remains true now; picking up readers (and reviewers!) 400k words into a story isn't very likely. I think the feedback in this case has been useful, though - I -am- mindful of how easily a character could tip over into parody or caricature of cruelty.
David Sanders
2024-10-07 08:00:15 +0000 UTC(This is also a chance to remind you that "story 3, chapter 5" postings are not exactly framed to be entry points for new readers. So you already knew, on some level, how splashy the latest update would be. No worries; attempts at a bestseller can come later.)
Dan T
2024-10-06 18:19:27 +0000 UTCSpeaking to how simple breakups can be lifechangingly devastating, YES they can. In my own case, I had my heart broken at age 20. I knew her for maybe six months; we dated the final month of that period; and due to physical distance we really only dated four weekends (plus correspondence). Still, it took about a decade before I felt ready for another relationship, in a way that would be emotionally fair to whoever new came along. Even now, more than a second decade after that, this current season I've found myself reflecting on the whole experience, and wondering how I might feel if our paths were to cross again. I had a friend once, in the intervening years, who'd experienced something similar, and he'd coined a term for it: "premarital divorce". As for critical reviews: By all means, leave yourself open to feedback that will help you improve. But! Don't allow any of it to cut too deeply, either. We've "chatted" in this forum in the past about reader counts versus review counts, and the preference for anonymity that many readers exhibit in contexts like these. So at least in a statistical sense, anyone writing reviews -- let alone those who sound thoughtful -- is already outside the "main group" of your readers.
Dan T
2024-10-06 18:19:01 +0000 UTCThanks for the comment. I don't know if there's a greater compliment that can be given an author (especially an amateur one) than to be told that a reader has found something with which to connect in these words I've written.
David Sanders
2024-10-05 08:04:01 +0000 UTCDear Fakeminsk: I just wanted you to know that while I may not comment, I am deeply committed and appreciative of your stories. As for the lack of appreciation for the psychological despair and emotional ruin that happens, I can attest to its truth based on what I myself went through at the hands of my ex-wife and her radical feminist doctor friend years ago, who rendered my former jock (and yes chauvinist) mindset an effeminate one. Some (my ex, my sister and the good doctor Rohmer) might argue it was deserved, however the punishment truly exceeded the benign level of offense, which while non-compliant with today's uber PC mindset, was quite mild and hardly offensive my that day's standard. Yes the physical emasculation and breast implants I was subjected to against my will were traumatic, however it was the psychological overhaul that I went through that was the real issue for years to come. Thankfully I met my second wife who both accepted me for the hopeless sissy I was rendered, but showed me how to accept myself and face family and friends as what I was. Nevertheless I still bear the emotional scars and fears it manifested in me. To that end I am always most appreciative of authors who blend the physical titillations that come with most forced sissification stories, with a backdrop of hearing the inner thoughts and turmoil going on in the mind of the effected one. To wit I can attest to its importance if one really wants to understand a characters overall development, for while the physical castration was cataclysmic in the moment, it eventually became my normal, however the psychological has never abated, for every time I bump into some acquittance or associate from my past for the first time, even though it is years later, I still find myself cringing in shame, despite the comfort that has been engendered by the acceptance of those who have come to truly care about me. Thank you sincerely for taking the time to explore both the protagonist's and antagonist's thought processes, as it makes all the difference between sexual fluff and meaningful reading. Respectfully yours, Miss Gracie (Greg) Buchholz
GREGORY BUCHHOLZ
2024-10-04 16:25:55 +0000 UTCIt's the gradual slide into excess that I was hoping (in part) to convey, I think, hopefully with some degree of success. As for Tom - nobody knows what's happened yet (well, except for me). That scene's currently being written, and should be done by next week.
David Sanders
2024-10-04 12:38:42 +0000 UTCJulia has been 'given' power over David in a way that probably puts any revenge fantasies she had to shame. Long story short - I don't think you've gone over the top - but there again I don't know what happens with Tom yet!
Asklepios
2024-10-04 11:44:38 +0000 UTC
