Publish: Chapter 2 (Rewrite)
Added 2024-03-28 22:14:33 +0000 UTCAfter the agony of creating the prologue and re
Comments
Again: oops! I'll go back and check those things out, and get them fixed. Thanks for spotting them.
David Sanders
2024-03-29 17:33:39 +0000 UTCOops, thanks for catching these. I'll go back and check it out. And I agree, the scene-by-scene structure of publishing to TGSTorytime seems to work better. It's certainly good for the reader count! Book 1 is approaching 60k views, which is pretty cool. And the Patreon's grown recently, which is wonderful, too.
David Sanders
2024-03-29 17:32:28 +0000 UTCI noticed the D cups as well (as you do!) - they are mentioned in the Candi chapter as Cindy meets Frank. Regarding the Scooter tape scene - it is a bit disconcerting that it is referred to but not really described at all. I appreciate what you have said previously about it being an info dump but its absence is quite jarring as it is not clear how Scooter has spoken to David even as it is apparent that the conversation has had quite a calming effect upon him... Otherwise completely brilliant! I completely agree with Julia about the short chapters - they work really well.
Asklepios
2024-03-29 12:21:42 +0000 UTCNicely edited with some extra flavour added. I miss the old 'Scooter Tape' and can see some of Davids internal monologue refers back to it. I assume you have moved that to the next chapter? Only one error of sorts, the Boob continuity has some flaws. Mostly you have cleared it up but in Franks club Cindy still has double D's that might need some downsizing. Speaking of downsizing I think that your genius idea of dicing up the chapters into much shorter chapterettes in TG Storytime works brilliantly well. You even seem to have a knack for leaving each one on a cliff hanger that encourages further reading. I can't recall if those were always there, or you have made an effort to add them. All this time you have been trying to figure out short stories and it turns out short publications is a thing. Maybe this might be a great way to keep up publication once you get back to the present chapter and beyond even on FM. It might combat that phenomena of readers simply not clicking on the 60 to 100k long chapters due to TL-DR syndrome as well as giving you regular exposure to the 'recent stories' front pages. More eyeballs, more readers and hopefully more Patreons.
Julia
2024-03-28 23:11:25 +0000 UTC
