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Grumpy boy snaps & pins you to the kitchen wall (m4a)

Hello my sweet creatures! Apologies for the long, long delay. (The longest I've ever taken from Deepdark activities, in fact.) It's been a wild stretch. There were trials & tribulations. There were mysterious (but mercifully short-lived) debilitating ailments. There was Whamageddon and its associated festivities. Most critically, I said my yearly bittersweet goodbye to NYC and my annual euphoric hello to tropical Asia (how I've missed you). It wasn't my intention to drop off without an update, and I'm very sorry if I worried you. But since you've all been so sweet in encouraging me to take space/time when I need to, I decided to just let myself go dark for a while. It was a good call.

And now, of course, I'm back & rejuvenated -- and I brought presents! So happy new year, my beloved listeners. Thank you so very much for supporting me during good times and rough times alike. I hope you all had wonderful holidays. The next audio should be out soon, and I'll catch Jade+ supporters in the extremely-late December Ask Me Stuff session, kicking off later today.

XX 
DDA 

POV: You're about to cook up a snack in your dorm kitchen... but find it's already been claimed by a cute, grumpy guy whom you've clashed with in the past. The more he tries to get rid of you, the more you want to stay. The battle of wills quickly escalates and you find yourself pinned to the wall. Dinner plans may need to change.

Note: Apologies to my Chinese language speakers who have to hear me pronounce "gāla guǒ" (嘎啦果). I'm sure I absolutely biffed it.

CW: This episode portrays mild verbal conflict. The speaker character teases and mocks the listener character (e.g. "talking to you is a waste of time," "you're so stupid"), while the listener character sometimes teases the speaker character about his interests. The listener character also pushes boundaries, refusing to back away from the speaker character when he asks and attempting to steal one of his possessions. The speaker character is physically larger and stronger than the listener character and describes this size difference when playfully menacing them and during the ensuing sex scene. A physical altercation is depicted from 6:15-6:45, after which the speaker character restrains the listener character against a wall. The ensuing sex scene is mutual and playful in tone. A spank is depicted at 23:21-23:24. Kissing is depicted intermittently from 12:10-20:15 and penetration is depicted from 20:15-27:30.

Note that this content is entirely fictional and all sexual acts are simulated. All characters portrayed are 18+ years of age.

 

Grumpy boy snaps & pins you to the kitchen wall (m4a) Grumpy boy snaps & pins you to the kitchen wall (m4a)

Comments

Yes, hi, so, since you asked; this was my subscription video. Apparently, apple geeks are my thing. Okay, uh, thanks ♡

Dan D. Lyon

This man is serious about his apples and it’s killing me but also so real because red delicious is an atrocity compared to like… ANY other apple

Kat

Hi Deepdark. Hope all is well. Looked up a black diamond apple. Truly unique and beautiful. Not being conceited or anything like that, I consider myself a black diamond because if I don't, who will. Loved this audio. Very mmhmm and yeah❤️‍🔥

Mrs. S Dragon

Drop a comment again tomorrow so I can wish you a happy bday! 🍰

.

This is the audio on yt that started my deep dive into DeepDark and what a treasure trove I've found. Tomorrow is my bday and I've been feral from these audios for Days, thank you for the sexiest gift I'll be receiving this year you sinful genius you💕

Gilded in Truth

All I can say is wet

Alexis

I listened to jealous bestie on YouTube and had to come here and listen to more 😩😍👏🏼

Sierra Ochoa

Im 16 mins in and him not letting her down and is sending meeeee omg😍🥵 shiiiii😍🥵 help lol this is my life now👏🏼

Sierra Ochoa

*cracks knuckles, shifts glasses, opens chaotic notebook* Am I reading too much into this with apples and sinful pleasure as an ex mormon you bet your ass I am 😂did I fall asleep and wake up to this voice pounding the dreamscape pavement with me, yeah I did, now enjoy my cranked to 11 thoughts as follows Naga With the serpentine tongue and tail, what prey wouldn't be seduced, or dare I say hypnotized. If Creator's voice box isn't the source, can we guess the tongue then? Enchanted? Nagas are also noted to be guardians of passways/doorways, can't deny the feeling of being transported into each scenario. Need more hours in the day for research 🫡🤓💜 still believe Creator isn't completely human

Pamela

BITCH I SAID HONEYCRISP WHO THE HELL LIKES RED DELICIOUS

June

Welcome & glad it delivered 😘

.

The YouTube teaser for this episode is what got me to subscribe to you on Patreon. No fucking way I could NOT hear what happened after "are you trying to cause me trouble?" ....And I was not disappointed 🔥😉

Nyx

That apple theme..? That banter? 😂 You can't convince me that this is not Caleb! (from LADS) 🤣🤣🤣 Well done! Truly well done.

Oromara

I can't unhear 'gabagool' like from The Sopranos.

Caleidoscope Cat

Omg my brain has melted 🫠 so hot 🔥 🥵

Cutie09💓

Oh Jesus's lol 😆 😂 another cracking start 🤣 this gonna be amazing I can tell

Cutie09💓

Same

Skyy Johnson

It’s the apple snobbery for me. 😂 I’d snatch that thing up and take a big bite, staring straight into the windows of his soul, with a glint of “fuck you” in my eyes. This one is perfect for us fun sized brats. 😋

LittleMai

The beginning is censored cause it's what goes on YouTube, and it would get demonetized if those weren't censored! I know, I'm sad about it too 😔

Lakora

Fun fact, they actually used to be delicious!! But then selective breeding for improved skin thickness (so they could survive shipping across the country--they used to bruise and spoil WAY too fast) reduced the flavor and texture so badly.....

Lakora

Omg I'm gonna cry that was amazing.

Gia the bunny queen

OK, wild!

.

Fun fact, Wikipedia is wrong. 嘎啦果 "gāla guǒ" is actually not black diamond, it’s just gala apples (originated in New Zealand). (You see the similarities in pronunciation? 😂). The Apple talked about in this audio is called either 黑卡,黑钻(black diamond),or just simply Tibet apples Lmao.

Krypton 025

YES, another Macintosh lover!! <3

Lakora

The nerd in me who loved the apple unit of my college botany course is very happy with all the fun info in these comments lol

ThisBarbieisBored

I very much dislike apples. That being said I would absolutely bug this man for a slice of his precious apple, PURELY to annoy him.🫡🍎

Razzyeen

The info dumping about this apple is what's magical🥹 I do love an apple guy🥵😍🖤

Amelia Satanas

I love educational DD lol but I fully understand the feeling. Let me have my moment in peace! And when you asked their favorite apple, I was like "don't say it, don't say it, don't say it" because I knew it was coming 😂 Nobody with taste chooses red delicious!

Midnightcrayon88

I looked up the apple and immediately wanted to taste it. It is unlikely I will get the chance unless I go to Asia which is on my list. Oh my gosh it was so beautiful and not what I expected while listening to this. Thanks for the apple intense info that tickled my tastebuds. I hope your stay in Asia leads you to sharing more culinary delights as part of your story telling.

Katherine

Pink Lady's and Sugarbees for me while we on the topic of apple's

Sundrop_tea

So...I'm only 2:39 in and I paused to nerd out over this apple haha super cool!

Melissa Janelle

Am I the only one who legit paused this to search for said majestic apple and see if it's real? 😂

Melissa Janelle

😂 Ok, then you definitely need to see the movie The Thomas Crown Affair 🍏

brneyes_tk

I just saw a picture of The Son of Man on a IG post and first thought came to my mind was your comment! 🤭

Ruby

All I see are W's- got railed against the wall AND got a slice of the apple! Fed X2

Daisy

Great audio. I love when you make the episode playful and fun like this. You should do it more often. Its quite lovely

Daftookami

Sheesh all that over an apple 🥵 pleasee don’t cut off the curses! I love my fucks!

Blueluelie

You are SO good at writing dialogue. The intro part had me cackling, the whole scenario with this apple conoisseur and his deeply offended banter was hilarious. Great work!

Diesel Dreamer

i was actually astonished bc i was like. how is he gonna spin this and yet u managed to make it sexy it was infuriating

puppyglock

If I've learned anything from this ep, it's that people get riled up about apples.

.

No problem! ☺️ I know only cause I found him through YT. I suppose it would be too much editing to put the uncensored full version on here, so he leaves it as is for convenience.

AFineCuppaTea

i had no idea i could get so worked up over a story about an exotic apple and yet here i am

puppyglock

I love how he goes in depth about he knows a guy. .. underground apple dealers are now a thing in my head

Pathygenic Mistyfig

Oooh is that right? I didn't know that. Thanks for explaining! I did notice the further you get into the audios the cussing isn't censored, but wasn't sure if that was a style choice. Thanks again!

kibozuu

Bring it on ha ha

Julz

Me: knows I’m allergic to apples Also me: knows DAMN well I would still risk it every time if it leads to this 😂😂

T C

I want one

Michelle

DDA branded apple satchel -- new merch concept?

.

what’s an apple satchel? i see rlly great designer purses when i look it up hopefully deep dark rocks em

mangooooo

Might be a future Halloween costume lol

brneyes_tk

LOL now I can’t unsee it!

Ruby

Recently tried a cosmic crisp...what IS this magic? Crunchy with a hint of nectarine 🤯

brneyes_tk

Seriously agree 😂

brneyes_tk

Well, you just solved a puzzle for me. The creative bug has been cycling around so I was visualizing a female version of The Son of Man painting the day before you posted this. Sidestep my mini freakout that this was about an apple 👀😵‍💫, and I can't unsee a black diamond in this female version of the painting. We all must have apples on the brain 😅 Adding to the unofficial poll, pinata apples are my fav. Never ate so many apples in a single season than when I found those.

brneyes_tk

He censors the cursing in the beginning bc those parts are put on YouTube as previews! ^^ YouTube would demonetize his videos if they have too many curse words in the beginning. 😬

AFineCuppaTea

These past two days, whenever I cut apples in the morning, it’s like an instant replay of this audio plays in my head. How am I supposed to survive going to the grocery store and seeing apples?! 🤣

Ruby

Lol yes 🤣 and thank you! 💕

Ann Harlow

Thank youu 💓

Ann Harlow

@Ann Harlow Welcome to the club! Haha yes, I totally forgot about that! After all the trouble of speaker refusing to let listener try his apple, he finally gave in. 🤭😅😭🍎

dark-vigilant

this was so fucking good it scratched an itch i didn't know was there (favorite apples are fujis)

DontMindMe

Sorry, fixed!

.

you said 37:30 in the caption it's 27 😩

kitty kat

welcome!!

kitty kat

Guess Eve tempted the serpent with a black diamond 😘

Jenima

Not me not noticing anything because I haven’t finished the other audios. But glad that you were able to take the time off for yourself! I hope the holidays were happy for you! Also, I agree. Red Delicious is… just eugh. I don’t get why they have delicious in its name. 😩 (jk, ik I just don’t like associating the word with it)

cc

Hehehehe so cuteee

xy

Oh look, another favorite of mine. 🔥

Vic.

You mischaracterized me with this red delicious nonesense. Everyone knows Honeycrisp or a good Macintosh is superb

Addy

Omg hiii thank you! 🥰 These audios just became my new obsession 🤭

Ann Harlow

Welcome to the party, Ann! 💕

.

Same 😂

Ann Harlow

I downloaded Patreon specifically bc I saw this on YouTube and omg I was not disappointed... I'm obsessed with your voice and the way you talk, it's just incredible. Also I love that she got some of the apple in the end after all that lol

Ann Harlow

16:48-17:13 - your voice.... "sigh", your words..... Mmmm.

Michelle

As a goth girlie, I want that apple. I'm getting a flight when it's in season and bribing anyone I see to find me one... Red delicious are soggy and you can't even bake with them and I'll fight about it. Then again, I'm happy to die on any hill that is about my foodie nonsense. Hehehehehe, but apple satchel? Nerd. 🤣🤭

Miss Katonic

Hot as ever Dark and Welcome back! Also can you not censor the cussing? The whole point of listening is to listen to your hot ass voice say cuss words that send shivers down my spine. The censoring throws me out of immersion and if ppl don't like cuss words they shouldn't be on a NSFW ASMR's patreon. I want the filth, grit, and intensity!

kibozuu

Jesus. I don’t know what life choices led me here…but I’m not complaining.

Violet Tendencies

@DDA Aww, I thought I would be just a little weird. 😉

Pandora Mauve

Unfortunately, I’m a mouthy little thing. And sometimes that mouth gets me into trouble. 😬 However, I do get a sort of thrill from exchanging sassy banter. That’s my bit of brat coming out. 😅 But I do know who I can and cannot do that with. 😊

Pandora Mauve

Haha I fear u may have a type for mean guys aka yandere....I on the other hand had the instinct to smack him when he was talking shit at me prolly cuz I'm a brat, hehe sorry not sorry deepy ;)

Aaishah

Lol me either!! But I saw everyone else adding their two cents, so I wanted to contribute 😆

AFineCuppaTea

HEH

.

You're arguably less weird, Pandora.

.

Thanks, Tea! I must say I didn't think the comments would get *this* rowdy about apples. Good to see the passion haha

.

guess whose back ~ back again ~ deep dark’s back ~ tell a friend ~ 😆 glad you enjoyed your long break!!! ☺️ i already wished you this on your “gagged by your older punk friend” audio, but happy holidays + new year!! last year was the worst year of my life and you were a big part in making it bearable ♥️ can’t wait to see what you come up with this year!! on that note, these intros keep getting more and more hilariously random!! xD Was this apple so delicious you just had to make an audio about it?? 🤣 Never change!! (Also, I will not tolerate this red delicious slander!!! sure, they’re not the BEST applies, but they aren’t the worst! macintosh are the worst, since they’re mushy 😙 Granny smith apples are my fav!) Anyhoo, this character was way too pressed about fuggin apples and totally deserved to be teased for it! xD Spontaneous wall sex is always fun! ♥️ Had a lovely time with this ✨ Enjoy the sun wherever you are! It’s in the 20s here in the Northeast of the US 🥶

AFineCuppaTea

Before I get all silly, am I just weird for not having a favorite apple? 🤔 Bro…you’re gonna be smelling grilled cheese. Panini is too fancy for me. 😂 Um…not me instigating an encounter. See at 8:34, my body would instinctively respond by wrapping my legs around his waist and looking mischievous. 😏 And I would be causing the right kind of trouble. 🤭 At 16:16 on…I’m just a puddle. Something about the way you talked in this one just overloaded my brain, and I loved it. 🤤🥴

Pandora Mauve

I love the fact that you make everything sound realistic. Those chair screeches make it easier for imagination. 🥰💞

dark-vigilant

I love that “apple historian” is someone’s actual job title. 😆 It didn’t affect me personally except that my loathing of Red Delicious apples was validated, haha. I was too little at the time to register consumer effects. But I’ve since learned from friends that it hit our farming communities brutally hard.

January Jaxon

Ah, that explains why there is at least one actual apple historian in the US (read a couple more articles about Red Delicious and/or the apple industry). How did this affect you personally / consumers?

Sarah Sinner

LMAOOO OMG

Studybug.Mp3

Happy to have piqued your interest! 😊

JL

Snake x Eve in the garden of eden 🍎 [GONE WRONG] [GONE SEXUAL]

Liz

Yep. Came close to single-handedly killing the Washington apple industry when I was a kid in the 90s.

January Jaxon

Had to look this up and you are spot on. https://www.nytimes.com/1984/09/26/garden/ok-red-delicious-move-over.html (Scroll down for the full article from 1984 that explains this phenomenon)

Sarah Sinner

This explanation makes me want to try to learn mandarin someday, so intriguing.

Sarah Sinner

Apple is a new flavor of freak lol I love it!

Divina

glad you’re feeling better!!! happy new year & hope your break was nice and restful, thanks for always spoiling us <3

izzy

I missed you so much, have a great start in your new year and please take care and stay safe, we all love you <3 (and wow...grumpy cute guys...are so yummy, especially with your voice, DDA x3)

Queen Zelda

I'm very grateful for the apple🥸🫰💕

Nandita

Ahhh ive missed you quite a bit! Im back and ready to binge all your content! Glad to see you still kicking 🩷

Brunette

This was a fun one! I'm glad you got to take a break even if it started out unintended. My favorite apple is Honeycrisp ❤️

BKL

Hehe, yeah! 😁

JL

Okay, so first off, a warm welcome back to you!! And coming back strong with an absolutely 'Delicious' audio!! 😉🤭 I, as many have already stated, think it's absolutely wonderful that you took that time to yourself. Everybody needs a break from time to time, even from things you enjoy or love to do!! 💙 For me personally, I know that if I don't take that time away, I won't be at my best and therefore won't be able to *give* my best in any endeavors I may pursue. Secondly, in regards to my favorite apple, I like a particular kind called SweeTango. That is the brand name as well, I believe, but they are seasonal and are only in stock during the fall/winter months. I don't claim to be an apple connoisseur, but they are so crisp and juicy, and are both sweet and tangy (hence the name, I presume). 🥰🥰

Tiffany

The panini and apple connoisseur part at the beginning had me-💀🤣🤣 these stories are so creative, can’t wait for more.❤️

Artimus Twilight

Pre🎧: Saw the notification in my emails yesterday and *genuinely* felt a chill run down my spine. Couldn't even will myself to hit play right away because the nervous anticipation was too strong! As much as you were missed, I'm happy that you're in a healthier state. 🌹 I know this delayed gratification is about to pay off sooooo well... good to have you back 😘

riss

I second this one with Cantonese .. especially if you pronounce the number 4 slightly wrong it becomes death 🤣

Ruby

Mango supremacy

Jade_Cinnamon

Well if you do count me in. I have a few story tellers with a deep voice who i love to listen to when i am going to bed (i have trouble falling asleep and it takes hours with out it or its listening to rain and thunder, a maha myityunajaya mantra or a genius brain wave hertz, but it sometimes gets old and i need to find a different way to have my brain shut down for atleast an hour or so hah. Anyways i have a few ideas for you if youd like, not that i have them all written down or worked out but i write short stories and haikus (poetry) although they might need some tinkering and such. So if youd like i could share them with you.

kurea13angel

Golden Delicious is very respectable in my humble view.

.

This isn't a green vs red thing -- my complaint is specifically about a cultivar called "Red Delicious". You'd recognize one if you saw it. Anyway, Pink Lady is my current #1

.

Thank you, Sarah. Pink Lady is my current favorite of the mass market entries. Take me to a farmer's market in New York or New England, though, and all bets are off. Love mangosteen! ❤️

.

Haha, just wait till you try Cantonese! 😜

JL

Hey Shellbelle, that's really interesting -- glad it's feeling better now! ❤️

.

Ah but despite the name, the "Chinese Red Delicious" is not directly related to the US Red Delicious!

.

Welcome to the party, kurea13angel! I've been approached by a few authors who were interested in having me narrate their work. I might be open to it someday -- if I do, you all will be the first to know ❤️

.

Thanks for the lesson, JL! Tones are so nonintuitive to me haha

.

Red Delicious apples are specifically bred to look pretty at the expense of actually tasting good. No joke.

January Jaxon

Sorry, I was being modest before when I said I wasn't going to comment on your Mandarin. 😅 But now it's bugging me, so.... imo, the best pronunciations were the second one and the one at 5:27. As far as I can tell, the tones are supposed to be ga1 la5 guo3, and that's what you did for those two pronunciations. Tone 1 is a high tone that is sustained (stays high). Tone 5 is a neutral tone. Tone 3 is a tone that starts low, dips and then rises slightly. (I don't think the dip is always obvious, though.) I think the key to this one is to start with a higher tone and end with a lower one. One other thing I would do is to make each syllable more distinct, because they are three separate characters. So, not "galaguo" but "ga la guo." Okay, that's all. I'll shut up now. 😅

JL

man the way i jumped up and down

gooner

I forgot to mention in my earlier comment that my favorite apple is usually Gala or Fuji, but lately I have been enjoying Honeycrisp. They’re all delicious! ❤️🍎❤️

Pam 701

Welp, I think I like apples now.

Amandroid

i missed these!! but im glad you had time to recuperate and just enjoy the holidays, much love🔥

lz

Oke, i am new here and i was wondering.. as your voice is totaly awesome and deep (yes i wish your voice could wake me up instead of my alarm clock, as it now only makes me grumpy and not want to get up). You would be great as a story teller (like reading a mystery/ horror/ ect book 😅 to a loved one with a fire place burning, while taking sips of your hot coco with marchmellow and snacks... and after the reading a delicious dessert)

kurea13angel

HAVE NONE OF YOU HAD A GOOD RED DELICIOUS? like fudge. Don't worry studybug I'm with you. 🤜

Guilty Pleasures

Honestly I thought it would be a breed of Gala...cause well.

Guilty Pleasures

Hey! Red Delicious are great when there not those mass produced bundles! Freshly plucked and washed is the way to eat them.

Guilty Pleasures

I was curious about the apple so I looked it up. It says its a breed of Chinese red delicious. I laughed cause I had looked it up just after he insulted my love for a well grown red delicious.

Guilty Pleasures

Happy New Year! Happy to hear you are well. I too missed you and am actually grateful (now) for the forced break. I think of your audios as self care but when they weren't there, I realized my over-reliance on them(it was borderline obsessive.) TMI? It was good to explore and expand self care to other activities. This audio was so good, your voice is as amazing as ever (lots of hmmms) and I'm now going to research said apple.

Shellbelle

Loved this dynamic. The banter, getting challenged by the listener character to wrestle, the sass, the geeking out over apples, the pinning down against the wall and using body weight to your advantage and getting played with the most obvious tricks in the book the smaller listener character can think of. And yes! The slight reference to the previous audio where the speaker character has a sensitive neck. It comes across like some kind of Easter egg and I am here for it. Also: Pink Lady apples for the win! Ps. Back in Asia: have you tried jackfruit, tamarind, snake fruit, mangosteen, rose apple, durian, dragon fruit? #fruit-envy Pps. Love that you took some time off, it was SO very well deserved. When I started to get slightly worried, I looked at how frequent you usually post and I noticed you seemingly never really took time off since the start of this channel. 🥺 So I removed my comment about your absence.

Sarah Sinner

What's your favorite apple variety? ...Green? I love his passion for apples but I have no idea what my man is talking about.

RetroFuturism

Welcome back!! Never have I wanted an apple so bad though 😭 lol great episode, definitely going in the favorites

Diabolikupcake

Eyy I stumbled into it!

.

I think it speaks volumes that the Red Delicious is *issued* as the token fruit by institutions like schools and prisons.

.

oh my god....yet another example of why your audios are the sexiest thing on the planet to me 🔥 like others said, I missed you too but glad you got a break. life happens. and that was TOTALLY worth a slice of that apple...🫠

Dirnali

Honeycrisp 4 Life 👊

Natttwenty

I’m so glad you are safe and happy in your new environment/home! Stay safe and happy* new year?! Can I even say that still? 😆

Cherry Klash

The sheer power of the phrase “what are you gonna do about it?” That just has the ability to turn on the brat button inside my silly little whimsical brain (not the charli xcx kind im afraid)

Kas

I love this character, he's ridiculous 😂 he'd be so fun to pester. And "Stinky panini" is now my cat's new nickname 🐈‍⬛🐈

blissful schnooze

I swear I thought you said gabagool lmao. Glad to see you're back!

timberalbright

What in the standing missionary 😭😳🥰🥹

xy

Also the pronunciation is pretty accurate!!

xy

The obsession with apples is SO F*CKING CUTEEEE🥰

xy

One of my favorite microtropes is the "What're you gonna do about it?" and you are easily one of the best at it in the VA game! It's probably why your grumpy/bully characters are instant favorites 😏 Happy New Year & glad to hear you're taking time for yourself! May the New Year bring you peace, prosperity, and good health (which will be much easier considering the favorable latitudinal adjustment) 🥳✨

AnimeDiplomat

I cringed when the answer was “Red Delicious”; the only circumstance I would buy one of those is if it were required to be bought in the same bundle as one of my favorites. Fuji are nice but hit or miss, Honeycrisp are delightful, and Cosmic Crisp are the best, in my humble opinion. As delicious as this audio you’ve cooked up for us 💚 Wishing you a wonderful time in Asia this year! Hope you eat so much good food and see many beautiful sights.

Sim

A person of fine taste 💚

Sim

Golden delicious are awesome. The only green apple variety I will eat.

Rachel Tipaldi

Honey crisp is delicious.

Rachel Tipaldi

An apple satchel? *zips off to Google* Sooo, he carries a purse for his apple? 🤔 Interesting. I love how he's so passionate about this apple and they're fucking with him over it. Haha. Bro, you always have me laughing. I love it. Thank you. 😊 And welcome back from your much needed "you" time. Glad you're well and feeling rejuvenated.

Rachel Tipaldi

Me and my social anxiety ass practicing what to say before making a phone call but then IMMEDIATELY forgetting as soon as they say “hello?” 😂😂😂

Ariel

Such an apple tease! 🤭

Sherri

Gala and Envy (when they are on sale 🤣 ) are my favourites. Dang, I think I just melted into the wall with this one-it’s so how I’d imagine being pinned against the wall!🫠🫨🫣

Ruby

Thanks, Ariel! I tried to get the tone right on "guo" the first time I said it.. then immediately forgot for the rest of the episode haha

.

So, you were in Tibet looking for that apple, right? 😉 It's great that you were able to take some time for yourself and that you're feeling refreshed! I'm really glad you're back. You were missed! 💗 I'm a Cantonese speaker, so I won't comment on your Mandarin. (I'm assuming it was Mandarin.) I've never heard of a Gala Guo before, so I looked it up, and they look amazing! My favourite apple is the Cosmic Crisp. I like the crisp texture, and the name just sounds super cool. 😊🍎 Btw, "apple satchel" is the cutest thing I've heard all week! Also: Whew! The listener *really* wanted a taste of that apple, huh? 🤭

JL

As a Chinese speaking listener, I can confidently say your pronunciation was actually not bad. My mandarin class had so much worse pronunciations so I was pleasantly surprised 👏

Ariel

This was entertaining and cute. Granny Smith apples personally for me 🍏🍏🍏

Filigree

Thanks, Michelle. I hope I get to try the Gala Guo myself someday ✨

.

Used to love them but a few years ago their quality in the NYC area fell off a cliff. Very odd. Anyway, thank you for the well wishes ❤️

.

Fair warning - it's a cooking apple - so you'll want to bake it first - with raisins is great - there are recipes online.

H4rrisH4wk

Hey hey now, Red Delicious were good... 20 years ago. 😏 Personally, Gala or Pink Lady apples are my favorite.

Rachel Tipaldi

Granny Smith is very respectable in my opinion! It's the only *tart* mass-market entry and we need that.

.

Never tried one! I'll put it on my list.

.

I would rather not eat an apple than to eat a red delicious apple, too soft, too mushy. This Tibetan delicacy sounds like a true gem among apples. Don't give a slice to just anyone, only the truly appreciative. Finally, We are up against the wall! So hot with the manhandling, the pinning, and sexy talk in the second half. It's amazing how dramatically the speaker's attitude changes once the listener softens up. Can I just say yes, yes, and double yes? Staying off the floor seems to definitely have it's benefits and I had all kinds of *benefits* listening to this episode. I guess we have to stay off your neck too - such a sensitive guy. Your voice is magical. The way you talk, the timbre of your voice, the things you say and all the little noises you make just made my night. Now that I'm all relaxed, I expect a good night's sleep. Happy to hear you are alive, well, and well rested. Thank you for the present DDAddy.

Michelle

May be basic, but I like honey crisp personally lol. Happy new year, wishing you health, success, and abundance!

zaphina lillith

“Please take six steps back” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 holy fuck this is too good dude

zeed

So glad you’re doing okay! I’m five minutes in and laughing my ass off. You are so immensely talented as well as hysterical. And just such a fucking dork. “Are you unwell?” “What’s your favorite apple variety?” “I just went from being irritated by you to worried about you.” 🤣🤣 But truly your intelligence shines in all of your audios, and I appreciate your wit and vast obscure knowledge so dearly 😄

zeed

This was so funny at the beginning - I was laughing so hard. Your exasperated explanation of just how special the apple was, and why was priceless. I missed you terribly, but understand completely the need for the break. The arguing and pinning against the wall was so hot. You are so freaking good at every aspect of these audios. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am truly addicted to your voice. As soon as I started listening to this, it was like a hit of the best drug imaginable. This was a great audio to start off the new year, and I hope your 2025 will be as awesome as you are! ❤️😩🫠🥵🔥🥵🫠😩❤️

Pam 701

This was timed so perfectly because I’m just on my flight back home! So I can’t wait to listen later. But I’m so glad you gave yourself a break as you deserve it. (Also I relate to the pronouncing as I’m learning myself 🫂🤍)

aevis

Red delicious are NASTY 🤺 en guard!

Lakora

Sir, you must pay the apple tax. (I'm personally a granny smith/fuji truther. :) welcome back! 🙏)

ArteryParty

Apples are the superior fruit 😋 😌

Lakora

Okay but my fave type of apple is actually Annie Elizabeth's (specifically from the tree growing in my mother's back garden that my grandmother and I helped transplant from an allotment we used to have - super special because my great-grandmother was named after the apple type). But y'know I don't hate red delicious.

H4rrisH4wk

Thank you, January 🙏

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Thanks, Ruby!

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Thank you, Purity ❤️

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🤺

Studybug.Mp3

Do we have a Red Delicious apologist among us????

.

This is obviously apple propaganda in disguise

Jade_Cinnamon

Welcome back; glad you're doing well 🙂..as for the audio, I'd like to mention that I'm not an apple freak, more like a freak that loves apples (I like Fuji myself), does that count? Lol😊🤭

LaShawn

Apple slander

Studybug.Mp3

You were missed immensely! I was quietly growing more concerned over here, but I'm so glad you're okay and that you prioritized your well-being. Overjoyed to have you back 🤍

PurityofThought

Happy new year :) I’m glad you’re back and rejuvenated AND you got us presents. I can’t wait to listen to it later. 😊

Ruby

You just can’t get this quality from anyone else fr

SJR

Red Delicious, specifically, are the enemy.

.

How much apple research did it take to write this? Also, my favourite apple is golden delicious; am I basic?

Leigh

love you pookie

Kenna

So glad you took us at our word that it’s okay to take breaks! Delighted you’re well and feeling better.

January Jaxon

Just got home- I love when the timing is so right. Welcome back, I’m so glad you took the time you needed!

Naomi

The “no I’m not sorry f*ck off” sent me 😂 but welcome back 💕 missed this voice 🥳

Galvanized_Doll

so glad you were able to take a break!! welcome back 🫶🏻

e

I appreciate the magic of the apple, don’t get me wrong. I want him to have this experience, and I love that he’s passionate about it. However, I have also never felt the urge to bully someone until right now. (Also yes agree red apples are gross. Green apples for life).

SJR

I'm only 3 minutes into the audio, but I have to say, this one is hilarious!!!! I've missed you! Glad to hear you are feeling better And that the rest did you good...

Vered

Happy to hear you’re okay 🥰 Can’t wait to listen later

Rachael

I’m glad you’re okay🩵 welcome back babes💋

Noir

Oh my gosh what a yummy treat to have!! Thank you for the fooood 🥰

Lakora

I JUST finished a different audio of yours , im so sleepy 😭 nooooo <3

Katlin

The king has delivered again, let us all bless our ears with his angelic voice (please imagine this angelic ahhhhhhhh tone thank you)

Missy

I was *just* going back through faves last nite, because I missed your work. 😭

Elle Driver

WELCOME BACK DDA WE MISSED YOU 😍😍

kirbs

Thank the heavens you're back!

Michelle

OMGGGGGG

joan

No way I just refreshed and this popped up

Nine


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