A Vry Above Board Offer to Objectify You for Our Pleasure

Heeeeeeeey,

So, I have been quietly waiting for my followers to hit 666 on Reddit to initiate Project DixDixDix. We're so close; I hit 600 just last night,

Buuuuuuuut, I'm impatient? And my birthday is coming up, and last time was so fun, and I keep telling myself it will be a bit like blowing out candles and to be honest, I havn't had a lot of candles to blow out in the last few years. I miss it.

So... Shall we do a special sneaky Dick Rating? 

How It Works: 

I will be accepting dick pics through [THIS LINK HERE (Google Form)], until midnight September 15th. I record a rating of it; 10/10 dick, baby, it's fucking great, but... can I talk about how I want to put my tongue on it for a minute? 

I will send you a super secret code, so you know when it's your turn and we can share a secret look and no one else will know. I will be posting the final audio live on Patreon and Reddit on my birthday (the 17th, bbyyyyyyy), cause I need that sweet sweet dopamine. It goes so good with cake... 

Rules:

1. NO MINORS. If you are under 18, I will call your fucking mother. At work. She'll be pissed. Not as pissed as I will be though. 
2. All links must be submitted through [THIS LINK HERE (Google Form)]. All results will be deleted immediately after recording.  I need a name  of some sort to have somewhere to sent your Personal Dick Identifying Alphanumeric Code. No names will be used in the recording. 
3. I'm taking pics from when this post drops on Patreon until 23:59 PM PST Sunday, September 15th, 2021.
4. Imgur links only. Slutty eyeballs only work on imgur links. I'm not clicking on anything that looks sus and for this purpose, if it's not on imgur, it's sus. Please remember to hide your pic unless you are into public praise and/or ridicule. Did I mention Imgur links only? 
5. A single picture only, please. I would *love* to watch videos of all of you (because I'm a fucking degenerate) or gawk at a full album of angles but I literally do not have the time if you want me to keep making with the cute and sexy and wet sounds. Pick your best angle! I love it however you give it to me. 
6. Please remove any identifying features you don't want me to mention. I'm not interested in d*xing anyone and I will be upfront in that no matter how good your dick looks, I'm not going to pull up to your place of employment randomly. Nor will I be saving any of these images for later. This is a fleeting moment we share; Let's make it special and safe, babe.  
7. Spoilers, but they will all be 10/10 great dick. I'm not going to be degrading anyone for my birthday, besides like... calling you a dirty boy, maybe. And myself... as is tradition. 
8. My Patrons get first dibs on being in the recording and a quick thank you audio. Why? Cause Capitalism dictates it to be so and I... I think that's a fair way to do things as I'm putting it up front.
9. I *will* report unsolicited dick pictures that are sent to me outside of this call for pics and the form. Possibly for CP as only a CHILD cannot respect this basic boundary. I'm really not sure if that's a threat or a promise, please don't make me find out; It takes barely any time to ask if I want to see it first. Please be respectful of this. I promise, I don't get offended by the question. 

Edited to add: I will NOT be looking at the pictures until I record, so they will be first impressions!