𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗦𝗶𝘅

𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗦𝗶𝘅:
Technicalities

❅𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗦𝗶𝘅❅

The drive to Mazin's house felt longer than it really was.

Especially with my overthinking thoughts and the disappearing city.

Every mile I drove, my mind kept yelling at me to turn around.

To not just randomly show up unannounced like this.

I should've listened to my inner voice.

At least when I pulled in front of the tall steel gates.

I fucking forgot that her house is like a fortress.

And now the guards at the gate are looking at me like I'm insane—we're quite literally making direct fucking eye contact.

This was such a bad idea.

A really bad idea.

I suddenly furrowed my brows when the gates began sliding apart, noticing the guards motioning me through.

Either Mazin knows I'm here or the guards remember me?

I hesitantly pressed down on the gas, slowly driving forward past the open gates and down the familiar driveway.

My stomach tied in nervous knots as I slowly approached the large house, driving down the illuminated driveway.

But even once I reached the end, I couldn't seem to get out of my car.

At least until I realized how crazy I probably looked just sitting here.

So I forced myself to open my car door, sliding out of my seat and standing.

I glanced over the navy matte Range Rover, wondering if that was Mazin's.

Or if someone else might be here.

I pursed my lips, now regretting this entire decision.

But I can't leave now.

I've already driven past the gate, so if she doesn't already know I'm here then she will later on.

I let out a deep sigh, approaching the tall black front doors as I prayed away the idea of Mazin having company.

This would be really embarrassing if so.

I glanced away from the door to the doorbell, hesitantly lifting one of my fingers to press the button.

And as soon as I heard the noise echo throughout the house, I realized how insane this was.

If she's asleep, I'm going to look insane.

Especially for ringing her doorbell at almost two in the morning.

I suddenly took a step back, now weighing the idea of just leaving.

But then I realized it was a Ring doorbell.

She'll know I was here.

I mean, regardless of the doorbell, she would... the guards already saw me and she'll now see me on the Ring fucking doorbell—

My thoughts were cut short as soon as the door opened.

And there stood Mazin, wearing a Louis Vuitton navy sweater and a pair of Polo pajama pants with slippers.

Her blonde hair was messy with loose natural curls, pulled into a bun away from her face.

Nelli was right.

Mazin wasn't asleep.

"Virelai?" her soft voice jerked me from my thoughts.

It also made me glance away from her body, meeting her stare almost in embarrassment.

I definitely just openly checked her out.

So far this is not off to the best start.

This might just be the worst start.

Because suddenly I can't speak.

I don't know what to say now?

I had so much to say too and now it's just gone.

I suddenly glanced past her, hearing a soft feminine laugh, which naturally made something in my chest sink.

She has company.

Which I guess isn't so bad.

I think it's just the idea of another woman being in there that makes me feel so weird, but it's okay.

I'll be okay.

It's not like I was entitled to her or anything—she can see other people I suppose.

"I'm sorry, you have company," I quickly whispered, deciding I should definitely leave.

"It's just T and Alena," Mazin said before I could take a step away from her.

And almost immediately my brows raised, blinking awkwardly as I processed the assumption I had previously made.

"I just... I thought you know," I attempted to say, but fuck I couldn't properly explain a single thing right now.

Mazin tilted her head, "I don't know actually," she said, her dark eyes trailing my face.

I pursed my lips, "Well, I thought that," I went to say, blinking as I tried my best to word my sentence, "Another woman—I thought you had a woman over or something."

Mazin's brows immediately furrowed, and even if she remained silent, I could notice the offense written all over her face.

"I didn't mean it like that," I quickly said, hoping to ease the aftermath of my words, "It's not like you can't see other people—"

"I can't though—or at least I don't want to," Mazin said almost in confusion, her dark eyes never once glancing away from mine, "I thought I made that clear when we had our conversation?"

I awkwardly nodded, "Yeah-yes, I just know we're not dating so technically..." I trailed off, hoping to explain better.

Mazin remained silent for another moment.

A very long and tense moment.

Until she let out a deep sigh, "I don't want technicalities," she determined.

Which naturally made my heart speed up in my chest, feeling as if she had read my prior thoughts so easily.

I would've undoubtedly been bummed if there did happen to be a woman here with Mazin.

"I don't want them either," I whispered, awkwardly shifting my weight between my legs as I processed the fact that we were having this conversation at her doorway.

Which Mazin seemed to suddenly pick up on, stepping to the side and motioning me inside.

And as I walked inside the warm house that smelled of faint cinnamon, I could hear Tahir's voice as he conversed with Alena over in the kitchen.

"Come on," she murmured, naturally grabbing one of my hands as she guided us over toward the kitchen.

"I don't want to interrupt," I suddenly said, immediately making Mazin's steps halt as she shifted her focus to me.

"T just came over to smoke," she assured me, her dark eyes holding mine, "Besides, you couldn't interrupt anything if you tried."

I hesitantly nodded, letting out a deep sigh as she turned back around to guide us the rest of the way to the kitchen.

And I immediately noticed Tahir standing beside Alena at the kitchen island, where there was a large mason jar of weed.

"Vee?" Tahir said, visibly processing my current presence.

Especially since it's nearly two in the morning and here I am.

"Hi," I awkwardly said, unsure of what else to say to him.

"Are you good?" Tahir asked, mostly because of the timing and then with everything that just happened.

I nodded unconsciously, even if everything didn't feel the best.

At least not after the conversation with my dad.

I suddenly felt Mazin's hand gently run up my covered back—grounding me in the current moment.

Especially since I began drifting off toward my thoughts that revolved around so much that had happened yesterday.

"We were actually about to leave," Alena suddenly determined, clearly picking up on something.

Tahir immediately nodded, "Yeah, we'll just leave you guys to it," he said in agreement, grabbing the jar of weed, "Love you guys."

"Love you," Mazin said as I nodded.

"Love you," I whispered almost awkwardly, mostly because we hadn't said love you in so long.

"We'll see you tomorrow night," Alena told Mazin as they walked past us.

And that's when I realized that the navy matte Range Rover belonged to Tahir.

That makes better sense. 

I suddenly glanced over to Mazin when I heard the front door gently shut, leaving us in this tense silence.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?" Mazin instinctively asked.

It seemed like the last thing she was worried about was why I'm currently here.

Just that I'm here with her.

"No," I whispered, still staring at her almost nervously.

I'm kind of still processing the fact that I'm even here.

Mazin remained silent for a moment, her dark eyes trailing my face as she ran her hand down my back.

"I'm not going to bring it up unless you want to talk about it," she suddenly told me, and that's when her clear avoidance of the topic made sense.

Why she didn't bring it up immediately at the front door.

"I want to talk about it," I whispered, earning a nod from Mazin.

"Let's sit down then," she said, gently guiding me by my hand to the nearby living room.

Where two tall white Christmas trees were already up on either side of the electric matte black fireplace.

I let out a soft sigh as I sat down next to her on the couch, unsure of what to say first.

There was so much I wanted to say. 

It almost felt overwhelming. 

"I'm sorry," I suddenly forced out, deciding to start by apologizing first.

Because I felt really bad for leaving everything how I did with her yesterday.

"Virelai," she said, her dark eyes burning into the side of my face, "Why are you apologizing?"

I pursed my lips, still staring forward, "Because I left you there yesterday and then I left you years ago and..." I trailed off, searching for my words better, "I promise I don't want to leave you again," I added, hoping she knew how much this all meant to me. 

How much she meant to me. 

I heard Mazin let out a soft sigh, running her arm around my waist, "I know," she whispered, gently squeezing my waist, "I need you closer right now."

And almost immediately my entire body managed to burn up—especially when I met her dark eyes that were already on me.

I wordlessly slid closer to her, following her motions as she guided me to straddle her lap.

And that's when her arms settled around my waist, holding me as close as she could to her warm body.

Which seemed to soothe her.

It soothed me too, but I knew physical touch was always important to her.

"I didn't want to be upset with you," I whispered, running my arms around her neck as I stared down into her dark eyes, "It just hurts since I was lied to—"

"You don't owe me an explanation," Mazin gently cut me short, "I know it hurt you, Virelail."

I nodded, feeling almost relieved by her understanding.

I figured she might be more upset with me maybe. 

Or maybe that's just because I'm used to Dani.

I naturally walk on eggshells because of her. 

Because I assume people might be unpredictable and lash out. 

But that was just her. 

I need to remember that it was just her. 

"I um talked to my dad," I suddenly said, glancing away from her when tears burned in my eyes, "I was really mean to him."

Mazin's face softened, pulling me closer to her for a hug that I never knew I needed so fucking badly.

It felt so unexplainably soothing to be surrounded by her warmth, nuzzled into her neck, and hidden away from the world.

"And I don't think I'll be spending Christmas with him either—he'll be all alone," I whispered through my tears, sniffling a few times as Mazin caressed her hands up my back.

"And that's not your fault—being upset over this and needing space isn't your fault," Mazin said, her voice so soft in my ear.

"I just hate treating him like this," I forced out, letting out a broken sigh as I held her tighter to me, "I love him a lot," I added, my voice barely audible between us.

"I know baby," Mazin whispered, her arms tightening so presently around my waist, "But you guys will get through this—it'll all be okay."

I sniffled, "I really hope so," I admitted through my heavy tears.

"I know so," Mazin quickly assured me, "I'll help make it all okay for you."

I nodded a few times, pressing my body even closer to hers as I let out a deep sigh.

It was calmly silent between us for a moment, our breathing naturally falling in sync as we remained in each other's arms.

Mazin never stopped caressing my back, her breath warm and soft against my neck.

"I'm sorry about your aunt, I didn't realize..." I trailed off for the right words, unsure how I should say this.

"It wasn't your fault—all of this was beyond your control," she reminded me, pressing the softest kiss to my neck and sending a soft shiver down my spine.

I softly hummed, suddenly unable to form words.

Especially when Mazin pulled away from our hug slightly, her stare openly focused on my lips for moment.

Until she leaned down, tilting her head slightly as our lips connected so perfectly.

I hummed, naturally kissing her back as I gently squeezed her neck.

Mazin's hands instinctively slid down to my waist that she squeezed, sliding her tongue past my lips with each kiss.

"I missed you so fucking much," Mazin whispered against my lips, "And it's only been a day."

I smiled slightly against her lips, feeling my face burn up from her words, "I missed you too," I whispered back to her, running my hands down from her neck.

So I could slide them under her sweater, pressing my hands to the bareness of her back as I leaned even deeper into her body.

I wanted to be closer.

I needed to be closer:

"Virelai," Mazin suddenly breathed out against my lips.

I only hummed, sliding my tongue past her lips as I ran my hands up her sides—caressing her soft skin.

"We should get ready for bed," Mazin suddenly suggested, pulling back from the kiss slightly.

Which naturally made my brows furrow, feeling slightly embarrassed that she pulled back from me like that.

Did I do too much?

I'm not sure how to navigate all of this exactly.

"I want to kiss you," Mazin suddenly said, making it clear that my thoughts were written on my face, "I just don't want to start something we can't finish," she added, her dark eyes never once glancing away from me.

I blinked a few times, almost in confusion.

Until I realized what she meant.

That she was referring to sex.

Which immediately made my face burn up, nodding almost wordlessly as I pulled back from
her to quickly stand from her lap.

I practically stumbled in the process of it, feeling so caught off guard. 

Mazin smiled slightly, her dark eyes trailing my face in amusement as she stood from the couch—and pulled me back into her by my waist.

I felt my lips twitch up when she briefly kissed my lips again—and then my cheek, firmly squeezing my waist before she pulled back.

"I'm glad you came over," she told me, guiding me by my waist over to the stairs.

"Really?" I asked honestly, staring at the side of her perfect face, "Because it's kind of late."

Mazin only shook her head, "It's never too late—my security knows your car and face," she assured me as we approached the stairs.

And suddenly it made sense why they had let me through so quickly.

"So I can just come over when you're not here?" I purposely asked her as we walked up the stairs.

Mazin smiled slightly, "If that's what you want to do," she said, eyeing me as we walked up the stairs.

I hummed, "So I can come over and eat all your food?" I decided to ask her as we approached the top of the stairs.

Mazin chuckled, "Yes, Virelai, you can come over and eat all of my food," she said, lightly squeezing my waist where she knew I was ticklish.

"Mazin," I whined dramatically, nudging her away as she chuckled again—following me down the familiar hallway toward her bedroom.

And suddenly the idea of sleep felt like heaven, especially when I realized I would be sleeping with her.

I nearly rushed through brushing my teeth, thinking only of her bed and how soft it would be.

At least until I suddenly zoned in on her wrapped knuckles.

Mazin claimed she cleaned them earlier, but I wanted to make sure it was all done properly so I unwrapped them—grabbing the first aid kit in the drawer.

I could feel her dark eyes burning into my face as I focused on cleaning her raw skin with alcohol and then smearing Neosporin over it.

I made sure every inch was covered with the Q-tip I used before grabbing the bandage to wrap around her soft hands.

They looked so perfect in mine.

All I could do was stare, even once I finished—gently squeezing her hand in mine.

"All done," I whispered, finally glancing up from her hands to meet her stare.

Mazin hummed almost wordlessly, "Thank you," she whispered, her dark eyes trailing my face so openly.

It was weirdly intimate.

Our eye contact.

The warmth of our hands holding one another.

And then the tension.

There was this tension that you couldn't even attempt to cut through.

I suddenly glanced away from her, almost nervously—mostly because I had never felt something like this before.

The burning in my lower stomach was new and entirely abnormal.

"These are cute," I whispered, grabbing the pack of Hello Kitty band-aids.

Mazin rolled her eyes, "Omi insisted I have those in the first aid kit," she said, shaking her head as I opened the pack of band-aids.

"She's smart for that," I said, now opening one of the band-aids, "Now we can make your bandages all cute."

Mazin's lips twitched up almost immediately, "Yeah, because that's exactly what I need," she murmured, watching as I stuck one of the pink Hello-Kitty band-aids on one of her bandaged knuckles.

"Perfect," I said with a content smile, which naturally made Mazin's smile grow, shaking her head at me, "Now we can sleep."

Mazin hummed, "I like the sound of that," she said, gently grabbing my waist and pulling me into her for a brief kiss.

Which I didn't hesitate to reciprocate, running my hands up her arms as I tilted my head further back for her.

"I like these pajamas," Mazin said, running her hands up my back as she pulled away to eye my body.

I glanced down at the cotton black leggings I wore with the matching long-sleeve top that was left slightly unbuttoned.

Which Mazin was undoubtedly glancing down, noticing my subtle cleavage.

"Mazin," I said, pushing her away when my face burned up quicker than I could process.

"What?" she laughed, following behind me when I began walking out of the bathroom, "I can't look at you now?"

I jokingly rolled my eyes, feeling my face burned up even worse, "You know I get shy, Mazin," I said, avoiding her eyes as I slid into the bed.

"It's cute," Mazin said as she slid into the bed beside me.

And just like that, her arms were wrapped back around me—pulling me so close to her.

Which immediately made me go blank, forgetting what we were even discussing as I naturally tangled my legs with hers.

Mazin hummed when I nuzzled closer to her, burying my face in her chest.

"Good night beautiful," Mazin whispered in my air, gently playing with my hair.

"Good night," I whispered back, feeling my entire body light up at her words.

It was something I replayed in my head over and over again as I fell asleep, listening to her calm heartbeat.

And for once, I didn't have an alarm set for the next morning.

It was finally Friday and I didn't have any classes to teach.

So we slept in until the sun naturally brightened the room, stirring us from our sleep.

But I swear Mazin was so warm I didn't want to ever get up.

At least until she mentioned waffles.

Then I was ready to brush my teeth and head downstairs to eat.

Or watch Mazin cook and then eat.

But I insisted on at least helping with one thing so she let me clean off the peaches.

Meanwhile, she focused on cooking the waffles and then topping them with whipped cream, a peach jam, and the peaches I cleaned.

She also warmed up the maple syrup up for us to drizzle on top.

I swear it was heavenly.

Probably one of the best breakfasts I've had in a while. 

All I could do was hum each time I took a bite, bouncing my legs up and down as Mazin ate her waffles as well, watching me almost in amusement.

I think we might have to make this again tomorrow morning. 

And the next. 

And then the next. 

Maybe we could even have it for dinner—

"So I was thinking," Mazin suddenly said, taking a brief sip of her water.

I raised a brow, "Thinking?" I repeated back to her, unsure if what she was about to say would be a good thing.

"Yeah, about this professor—gang leader situation," Mazin said, setting her glass down.

I tilted my head, "What about it?" I asked almost in confusion.

"It has to be hard, Virelai," Mazin said, her dark eyes on me so intently.

I nodded almost hesitantly, "Yes, but I'll get used to it eventually," I said, knowing it was hard to balance the two right now. 

But that'll go away eventually. 

I think?

"This isn't something you get used to baby—it's something that wears you down over time," Mazin corrected me, naturally making my brain short-circuit at the use of the pet name.

She's only used it barely a handful of times and I swear it nearly makes my heart burst out of my chest every time. 

I suddenly shook my head, mostly trying to focus and forget about how the word baby sounds coming from her perfect lips.

"I have to follow in their footsteps," I emphasized, setting my fork down, "Even if me and my dad are... in a predicament."

Mazin immediately nodded, "And I understand that entirely," she said, gently grabbing one of my hands, "I've already talked to T and we would be more than willing to handle the illegal side of things while you focus on being a professor."

I blinked a few times, openly eyeing Mazin's face for a moment.

She already talked to Tahir about this?

"It would all still be in your family's name, we would just be handling business for you," Mazin further explained when I remained silent.

Which sounded appealing. 

I wouldn't have to balance everything anymore. 

I quickly shook my head at the idea I was now contemplating, but even then I still didn't know.

A part of me liked that idea.

And then the other part felt like I would somehow be letting my dad down.

Even if I am upset with him, I would never want to disappoint him.

"It's not a now decision," Mazin assured me, gently squeezing my hand, "I'm thinking I'll bring you along with me today—so you can see the real dealings of this lifestyle."

I raised a brow, "I already know the dealings," I said, unconsciously coming off defensive.

Although, I'm not sure why.

Mazin's tone is so calm and soft with me, and she's not trying to force me into this decision. 

"I know you do beautiful, but it isn't something you handle yourself," Mazin said, her voice still calm and her stare never wavering from me, "And eventually you will have to handle some things on your own."

I pursed my lips as I held her dark eyes, "I feel like you're underestimating me, Mazin," I said, my tone slightly joking.

But a part of me was serious.

"Never," Mazin immediately said, now standing from her chair to stand right in front of me, parting my legs with her body, "I think you're capable of anything you put your mind to Virelai."

I shook my head, staring up at her, "But this is different?" I whispered, unconsciously running my hands up her arms.

"No," Mazin said, gently cupping my face in her hands, "I just think you're meant for something softer—something beyond this, that's all."

I remained silent, taking her words almost as a compliment.

I don't think it's a bad thing not to be cut out as a gang leader.

I just...

I don't think I'm ready to give this all up so easily.

It goes back generations.

"Again, it's not a now decision baby," Mazin reminded me, gently caressing her thumb against my cheek as she stared down at me, "And the choice is up to you—just give me today to show you my side of things."

I remained silent for a moment, staring up into her dark eyes as I contemplated all of this.

The idea of giving up my dad's gang.

Or not technically giving it up since Mazin said it would still belong to my family.

She and T would just run it for me.

But for how long?

"It doesn't feel sustainable though," I admitted, now realizing they couldn't do this forever, "I'll eventually have to come back and run it," I pointed out.

Mazin shook her head, "We'll handle it all until the very end for you," she didn't hesitate to assure me.

But there were too many what if's roaming my head.

Like what if this doesn't work out between us?

Then what?

Will she still want to do this all for me?

Even if we end up with other people?

"You're aware that I'm not letting you go now?" Mazin suddenly asked me, her dark eyes trailing my face as she read me so well, too well almost, "You left once and I'm not letting it happen again."

I pursed my lips, "But this could all still not work out and—"

"I only want you, Virelai," Mazin cut me short before I could doubt this even further, "I've only ever wanted you."

I felt my expression soften at her words, how truthful she sounded, and how she never glanced away from my stare once.

"I only want you too, Mazin," I whispered honestly, knowing I wanted this all to work out for us.

I'm not sure why I'm doubting so much right now.

"If I only want you and you only want me then I don't think there's an issue here," Mazin said, her voice so gentle as she ran her hands down from my face to gently caress my neck.

"I just think... maybe I'm creating issues," I admitted, running my hands back down her arms.

Mazin hummed, "I think you are too," she whispered, gently squeezing my neck, "But as long as you communicate with me then we can fight that together," she added, staring so deeply into my eyes for confirmation. 

I nodded, "I want to fight it together," I said, my tone entirely honest as I gently squeezed her covered biceps.

"Then we'll fight it together," Mazin didn't hesitate to assure me, "Starting today," she said, caressing my exposed collarbone. 

Which unconsciously made my body burn up.

"So you really want me by your side all day?" I asked almost jokingly, smiling slightly at the idea of this all.

Mazin's lips immediately twitched up, "Oh yeah, I wish I could have you by my side every second of the day," she murmured, gently tilting my head back as she leaned down to kiss my lips.

I hummed contently, reciprocating the brief kiss and basking in the feeling of her soft lips against mine.

Until she naturally pulled away slightly, eyeing my face for a moment before she kissed me again.

And then again.

And again.

And—

"Mazin," I laughed, jokingly nudging her away before she could kiss me again.

"I can't help it," she whined so attractively, "Your lips are too kissable, Virelai."

I shook my head with a smile, feeling my face burn up, "Well you can kiss them all you want once we get ready," I joked, standing from the tall chair before she could convince me otherwise.

Hopefully, seeing the real side of Mazin's business might help me determine what I really want.

Maybe I can handle this lifestyle.

Or maybe I can't.

And I think... I would be okay with that reality.