𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗢𝗻𝗲

𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗢𝗻𝗲:
A Different Light

❅𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝗢𝗻𝗲❅

It was silent, almost tensely silent as I sat in the passenger seat.

The downtown traffic was thicker now that four had struck, which also didn't help my nerves.

Mazin seemed purely focused on the road, not speaking a word of what happened at that bowling alley.

She simply sat quietly next to me—just as she had previously done when returning from outside with Tahir to finish our last round of bowling.

I think she's mad at me.

She seems mad at me.

And now I feel really bad, unsure of what I can do to fix this.

I had remained silent so far, hoping that would diffuse the situation.

But I can't tell if it has, Mazin is so fucking unreadable.

But I needed to say something, especially now that she pulled into the parking garage of my apartment building.

"Your code," she murmured, finally speaking to me even if it were only two words.

"Uh, five, seven... eight, nine, three, one," I whispered, my voice sounding just as on edge as I was.

Mazin nodded once, inputting the code and then driving forward when the white barrier lifted up.

"I'm having that code changed," Mazin determined, slowly driving through the parking garage, until she noticed an empty parking spot, "She was at your place last night so I'm sure she watched you put it in."

I pursed my lips, "I mean, I covered my hand well when putting it in," I tried to assure her, given I didn't want to have to learn another code again.

"The code still needs to be changed," she simply stated, her voice leaving no room for disagreement.

"That would probably be best," I whispered, glancing down at my lap with a soft sigh.

And now that the car was parked, I could suddenly feel her attention shift over to me, easily
making my nervousness grow.

"You know I'm... I'm really sorry, I know you're really mad at me and then I don't seem to be as experienced as you like and—"

"Virelai," she softly cut me short with a sigh, and suddenly her hand was gently placed in my lap, "I'm far from mad at you," she assured me, holding her hand open for me to willingly place mine into.

"You just seem... really upset and then a lot of this feels like my fault," I explained, my voice heavy with remorse as I hesitantly placed my hand in hers.

"You're the victim here—none of this is your fault," she emphasized, gently squeezing my hand before saying—

"I need you to look at me."

I blinked a few times, slowly lifting my head to meet her dark eyes that were already pinpointed on me.

And I could physically feel my chest tighten, wanting to stay here so nothing else bad could happen.

"I'm not mad or upset with you," Mazin stated, her voice serious yet so soft with me, "I'm just thinking about how this should be handled."

I hesitantly nodded, realizing she was only in her thoughts the entire time.

That's why she was quiet.

"But I think I'm okay with being the bad guy here, Virelai," Mazin suddenly sighed, interlacing our fingers together as she gave my hand a soft squeeze, "I tried to respect your wishes, but your safety will always come first."

I drew in a deep breath, trying to remain calm at her words, "I just didn't want her to die. I've known her since we were in middle school, and I can't imagine—"

"I know," Mazin gently cut me short, noticing how unsteady my voice was growing, "But I won't hesitate to kill her if she makes another move."

I swallowed thickly, unconsciously glancing away from her dark eyes when tears burned in mine.

It made me let out a deep wavered sigh, hating that I was crying right now. 

"I hate that it has to hurt you, Virelai—I hate that it even has to be this way," Mazin whispered, letting go of my hand to instinctively cup my cheeks with her hands, gently wiping any of my fallen tears away, "But I would rather you hate me if it means you're alive and safe."

I shook my head as she gently wiped more of my tears away, "I don't want to hate you," I whispered brokenly, finally glancing up to meet her dark eyes blurred by the tears in my eyes.

Mazin let out a deep sigh, "I don't want you to hate me either," she said, sliding one of her hands down to gently caress my jawline, "But I can't always prioritize what you want out of situations when it's like this."

I briefly closed my eyes, letting out a long sigh as I tried to get myself together.

As I tried to stop crying.

But even through it all, Dani was still someone I had known for years.

I don't understand why I can't want her dead.

Why I can't wish her harm when she's hurt me so terribly?

It's so fucking confusing.

But I also know that I couldn't hate Mazin if she did this.

I don't think I could truly hate her if she did anything to me, and that's concerning to say the least.

I mean, I could pretend to hate her as I had done.

I could pretend to never want to lay eyes on her again.

But it would all be such a big fucking lie.

"T and Ronan are speaking to Dani in the hospital," Mazin suddenly spoke again, her voice lowered and calm with me, "I'm going to give her a warning, a chance to play this right and leave you alone."

I nodded, letting out a deep breath, "Okay," I whispered as I opened my eyes to meet her stare.

"Okay?" Mazin murmured back to me, her dark eyes trailing my face for more.

"I'm not sure how to feel right now, Mazin," I admitted, hating that more tears burned in my eyes.

I hate being so fucking sensitive.

It feels like everyone around me is accustomed to killing people, but I was never instilled that way.

My dad is such a big force and my mom is like a softer version that envelops you in a different warmth away from all of this.

I think I'm more like my mom.

"Let's table this," Mazin suddenly determined, gently wiping more of my tears away, "Regardless, it's nothing that you need to be involved in and that's what matters."

I nodded silently as she let go of my face, turning the car off and opening her door.

"I'm staying with you until security gets here," Mazin said as she slid out of the car, which earned a nod from me.

Mostly because I didn't want to go separate ways with her.

Even once security was here.

But I also didn't want to sound needy or desperate for asking her to stay again.

I glanced over, noticing Mazin stopped by my door, which she pulled open for me.

I quickly grabbed my phone and purse, sliding out of the car and taking her extended hand to carefully step down.

And soon we were walking through the parking garage toward the elevators—which I inputted my code into so it would head up to my floor.

Once we were in my apartment, I immediately headed into my bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes.

Which consisted of a pair of black cotton flare leggings and a sweatshirt.

I also took off my makeup now that it was messed up from my annoying crying.

By the time I made it out of my bedroom, Mazin was situated over on my sectional couch with her Nike's off and her legs propped up on the long part of the couch.

I made sure to head over to the fridge to grab us both waters before joining her over on the couch, unsure of how much distance to keep between us.

So I just left a comfortable gap, extending her one of the waters.

"Thank you," Mazin said, locking her phone and directing her attention to me now that I was seated beside her, "This is cute," she added, eyeing the choice of clothes I wore.

Which naturally made my face grow warm.

"Thank you—it's a lot more comfortable," I said, unsure of what else to fucking say.

But even what I said felt awkward.

Like clearly it's a lot more comfortable.

Mazin smiled as she took a brief sip of her water, "That's good," she said, screwing the lid back on her water.

She also eyed the gap between us with noticeable confusion—before she glanced back up to me.

"Are you going to come here or should I come to you?" Mazin asked me, unsure of why there was this much space between us.

And I knew now was the time to bring it all up.

There would never be an ideal time or a perfect way to initiate this conversation with her.

I just need to rip the bandaid off now.

I unconsciously fidgeted with the cold water bottle in my hands, "I thought maybe we should talk about the past first," I finally said, internally relaxing now that I got the words out.

"Are you ready to talk?" Mazin asked me, her dark eyes trailing my face.

"Yes, if you are," I said, knowing she didn't bring this all up for a reason, "It seemed like you didn't want to."

Mazin tilted her head, "I was waiting for this Dani situation to blow over before bringing this up with you," she said, immediately shutting my assumption down. 

I blinked a few times, but inevitably nodded, realizing she didn't want to add to everything already going on.

And I just assumed she didn't want to speak to me about it.

"Well, I..." I trailed off, unsure of how to start this conversation with her, "I guess I was hurt when I heard you say that the kiss between us years ago meant nothing to you—and then you went and kissed another girl that night at the frat party we went to with T."

I glanced away from her dark eyes, mostly because I felt like I anticipated her answer too much.

This would either make or break whatever is between us.

"Meant nothing to me?" Mazin asked almost in confusion, clearly recalling a different perspective than me.

One where she didn't realize I was hiding in that stairwell listening to what she said.

"I heard what you told Nelli," I explained, meeting her dark eyes that still remained on me, "I followed you guys into the stairwell."

A brief flicker of recognition passed over her features, recalling exactly what I was saying.

"I previously overheard you in the bathroom with Dani," Mazin explained, naturally making my brows furrow, "She said something about loving you aside from it all and then you said you loved her back... I just assumed you told her about what happened with us."

I furrowed my brows, realizing she had overheard only one part of our conversation.

"Dani said she loved me aside from the times when I do too much," I briefly explained to Mazin, glancing away from her stare as I recalled the heavy memories with Dani, "She was still mad about me sleeping over with you so I chose not to tell her in that moment."

Mazin remained silent for a moment.

And so did I.

It was long, but not tense.

We were mostly clicking the pieces of all this together in our heads, realizing there was a little more to this than we realized. 

"I lied when I said it meant nothing, Virelai," Mazin finally spoke again, her dark eyes still burning into me, "You left me in bed that morning and then I assumed you were moving past it with Dani," she said, shaking her head a few times to herself, "I thought it would be better to downplay the kiss or forget about it for you."

I pursed my lips, "But you kissed someone else that night," I pointed out, glancing over to meet her dark eyes.

And maybe I was still upset about that.

Maybe it did still bother me that she did that in front of me.

"You showed up with Dani," Mazin countered back, raising a brow at me.

I remained silent, realizing this was all a huge messy circle.

We both overheard things and made assumptions, and this is just...

It's all miscommunication I think.

"Dani hit me that night because I told her about our kiss," I suddenly whispered, hoping to clarify it better, "She was previously mad because... I saw you kiss someone else and then I was trying not to cry and—"

"Virelai," Mazin cut me short in the softest whisper.

And before I knew it, her hand gently grabbed mine in my lap—guiding me closer to her.

I let out a deep sigh as I slid closer to her, feeling her arm smoothly slide around my waist—

And pull me closer for a hug.

I leaned into her immediately, nuzzling my face into her neck as she hooked her hand behind one of my thighs—pulling it across her lap.

It was an action that left me straddling her, fully leaning into her as my arms settled around her neck.

The familiar cologne she wore flooded around me, along with the warmth of her body—sliding her hands under my shirt to rest against my bare back.

"I'm sorry," Mazin suddenly said, her words muffled against my neck.

I shook my head slightly, "I should be the one saying sorry—I'm the one who left before we talked about this," I pointed out, feeling disappointed that I made such a drastic decision in that moment.

"No, you believed something else at the time, and then Dani didn't help," Mazin said, not bothering to let me feel bad for all of this.

I sighed, relaxing deeper in her arms as my eyes fluttered shut, "You know, I waited for that kiss since freshman year?" I whispered, my tone joking with hopes to lighten the mood.

"I think I was waiting since... eighth grade," Mazin suddenly said.

Which immediately caught me off guard—pulling back from our hug to meet her dark eyes.

"That can't be true," I said, tilting my head slightly as I took in her serious expression. 

"It is," Mazin said, softly running her hand up my bare spine, "We were on that field trip to the aquarium and you wore that white ruffle dress."

I shook my head, feeling my face burn up at her specific recollection.

I didn't realize she remembered these things about me.

"Your hair was down just as I liked it and you wore the white bow I gave you to match," Mazin whispered, her dark eyes trailing my face as if she were living the moment right now, "You were excited about the new exhibit—and I was excited to hang out alone with you."

I drew in a deep breath, staring into her dark eyes that held nothing but the truth behind them.

Her expression was so genuine, her touch against my back so soft.

"But you strictly treated me like a friend... you messed around with so many girls," I pointed out, almost feeling confused by this all.

But at the same time, I knew the blush coating my cheeks was irritatingly visible, now seeing this all in such a different light.

Now seeing Mazin in a different light.

Especially years ago.

"I could never tell if you felt the same way—I always waited for you to make a move so you weren't uncomfortable," Mazin explained, gently squeezing my bare waist as her stare remained prominently on me, "But it was never serious with them, Virelai," she said, now caressing the bareness of my back again, and sending a soft shiver down my spine, "I always knew that if I couldn't have you then no one could have me."

I felt my entire face soften at her words, "Mazin," I whispered, my voice barely audible among the quiet air between us, "That... this is the most beautiful thing I've heard," I admitted unsure of how to process this.

I never imagined anyone would feel this way about me.

Especially not this deeply.

I always assumed I would end up with someone like Dani—where I settled for them not knowing every single thing about me or never experiencing the small romantic gestures.

Even Mazin bringing my favorite cookies to that movie theater when I refused to speak to her was something that spoke volumes to me.

And she had done so much more than that when we were younger.

It just never seemed like something I would ever get to experience as more than her friend.

I always assumed a beautiful girl would eventually come along and that would be it for Mazin.

But here I am on her lap, realizing that it was only ever me.

That she did want me.

And she still wants me.

"No more friends," Mazin whispered, subtly sliding her hand up to the back of my neck, "I never want to just be your friend again, Virelai," she clarified, drawing me in closer by my neck.

I raised an offended brow even if everything inside of me physically burned up at her words, "Wow, you never want to be my friend again?" I asked her, my soft tone holding lightness to it, "That's a little harsh, Mazin," I mumbled, smiling slightly when her lips twitched up from my words.

"Maybe I can help you not take it so personally," Mazin said, guiding me even closer and leaving our faces barely centimeters apart.

I hummed almost wordlessly, especially when her gaze flickered down to my lips.

My body burned even hotter when we naturally leaned in closer, our lips barely grazing.

Until Mazin gently pulled me in by the nape of my neck, impatiently pressing her lips to mine.

I naturally pulled her in closer to me, basking in the softness of her lips against mine.

And how our bodies pressed together almost perfectly.

How her hand caressed my bare back so presently.

I parted my lips as soon as her tongue smoothed against them to ask for more access.

And as soon as my lips were parted, she deepened the kiss—causing a warmth to burn down my spine.

My hands naturally caressed the back of her neck, running down to her arms that I gently squeezed.

Which earned a hum from Mazin, drawing her hand away from my neck to cup my cheek.

The kiss grew deeper and breathless—so much more breathless as her thumb caressed my cheek, gripping my waist against her with her other hand.

Then my hands were under her shirt, smoothing against her soft bare skin for more physical contact that I desperately needed.

Almost immediately, Mazin's grip around my waist grew firmer, sliding her tongue into my mouth with each kiss.

A kiss that was so deep, we could both hear it.

Hear our brief deep breaths and the sounds of our lips connecting and disconnecting.

Until finally, we pulled back slightly—breathlessly panting for as much air as we could get into our lungs.

But Mazin didn't seem to care about air, suddenly pressing a brief kiss to my lips and then trailing soft kisses over to my cheek.

I smiled when she kissed my cheek, and then the edge of my jawline, leaning deeper into her with a soft exhale.

Then she nuzzled down into my neck, pulling me back in for a hug as I ran my arms around her waist.

I wasn't sure where this all left us or what it meant now—all that mattered was that we had this talk.

And hearing Mazin's side changed everything for me.

I let out a deep sigh when Mazin's phone vibrated in her pocket, causing her to pull back slightly from me.

But I still managed to stay pressed to her, keeping my cheek against her chest.

"Security is outside," Mazin told me, her voice lowered and raspy, "T needs to see me."

I pursed my lips in disappointment, "FaceTime is a thing," I whispered, suddenly not wanting her to leave.

Mazin hummed in amusement, "We need to handle something in person," she explained, gently playing with my hair.

I nodded, knowing I didn't want to sound needy or too clingy.

But I really didn't like the idea of her leaving and then being alone.

Maybe I could invite Nelli over.

"I can come over after if that's what you want?" Mazin asked, analyzing my face when we pulled back from the hug slightly, "I'll make you dinner again," she offered. 

I quickly shook my head, "No, it's fine—I think I'm just going to invite Nelli over," I quickly said, not wanting to inconvenience her.

Mazin tilted her head, her dark eyes still trailing my face for a moment.

A long moment. 

Until she inevitably nodded.

"I'll text every hour to check in," Mazin said, leaning in to briefly kiss my lips, "Tell me when you're going to sleep."

I nodded wordlessly, especially when she kissed my lips again.

"I will," I whispered as she pulled back, causing me to slide off her lap.

I watched as she slid her Nike's back on, adjusting her jeans and baggy t-shirt—her actions so effortlessly attractive. 

Then she walked back over to me as I sat on the couch watching her—gently grabbing my chin and tilting my head back.

"One more for the road," she murmured, leaning down to me.

Which naturally made me smile, tilting my head back for one more kiss.

It was brief, but I still felt the lingering warmth from her lips pressed to mine—watching as she walked over to the front door.

And grabbed her gun from the side table, tucking it into her back waistband.

I never even noticed that she put that over there.

A deep sigh fell from my lips when the door gently closed, grabbing my phone to text Nelli now that Mazin was gone.

It would be really nice to catch up with my best friend.

Even if being separated from Mazin felt like the last thing I wanted to be.