𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻

𝗚𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻:
Simplified

❅𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻❅

"You shouldn't have followed me," I said, knowing it was probably really obvious when Mazin stood up to leave the theater right after me.

Dani among everyone else definitely noticed.

"You look like someone who needed to be followed," Mazin stated, walking over to me.

I only remained silent, avoiding her stare as I turned around and leaned back against the sink.

"Virelai," she said, stopping directly in front of me, "Are you okay?" she asked, openly eyeing my appearance.

And I could tell by her hands lifting up and then reluctantly lowering back down that she wanted to touch me.

She just didn't know if she should.

"Well, I'm back with my ex again, in a city that's nothing but a reminder of what went wrong, and then there's you—"

"Then there's me," Mazin cut me short, gently grabbing my chin before she could stop herself—and aligning my stare back with hers, "Who can put a stop to this the moment you say you want it, Virelai."

I shook my head, "It's not that simple—and you know it's not that simple," I whispered, frustration latching onto every word I said.

Everything just feels so fucking chaotic—this feels too far gone.

"I'll simplify anything for you," Mazin emphasized, letting go of my chin.

But only to trace her thumb down my jawline in the gentlest manner—subtly tilting my head back further.

Which left a brief silence between us. 

One that made me draw in a visibly deep breath. 

"I wish you would've simplified everything years ago," I said, feeling everything around me burn when she leaned down closer to me.

So much closer to me.

To a point where our bodies were naturally pressed together, leaving me warmer than before.  

"Me too," Mazin whispered, gently resting her forehead against mine, "You have no idea how much I want to go back and change it all, Virelai."

I let out a deep sigh, staring so deeply into her dark eyes for a brief moment. 

Or a long moment. 

Very long actually. 

Until I made the mistake of glancing down.

For longer than I should've at that.

"Mazin," I suddenly whispered, still unable to glance back up to her eyes.

Everything around us felt undeniable.

It felt like these tiny bolts of electricity—only charged up when we were pressed together like this.

"Virelai," she repeated back to me, her voice barely audible among the silent air between us.

I drew in a deep breath as soon as her lips barely grazed mine.

Which was enough to make my eyes flutter shut, meeting her halfway as our lips naturally melted together.

I instinctively reached for her arm to pull around me—causing Mazin to pull my waist further into her warm body.

Our breaths were deep and mixed together as the kiss grew deeper, tilting my head back even further as Mazin caressed my hair away from my face.

My arms naturally slid around her waist, pulling her in even closer to me—and practically hugging myself to her as she moved her lips so gently against mine.

I ran my hands under her sweatshirt, pressing my palms firmly to her bare back as she pressed me deeper against the sink.

A breathless hum burned in my throat when she gently squeezed my waist, dragging her other hand down from my face to softly caress my arm.

Which was enough to make everything blur so warmly around me.

I wasn't burning hot.

Instead, I felt so comfortably warm—lulled in closer to Mazin almost.

Especially as she ran her hands firmly up my back, gently running her hands through my hair.

I was breathless—nearly on the verge of passing out due to the lack of air between us.

But I didn't want to pull away.

Everything will be different once I do.

There will be something to discuss.

Something bigger in the air between us.

But at some point I was physically forced away, breathing almost rapidly as my chest rose up and down.

The kiss between us had been broken, leaning into her chest as she desperately tried to catch her breath as well.

Our combined heavy breathing was all that could be heard between us for the longest of moments.

Especially as I leaned deeper into her chest, keeping my hands settled under her sweatshirt and pressed to the bareness of her back.

"Mazin," I whispered almost in defeat, sinking down into her arms.

"I know," she said, her voice lowered as she caressed her hands up and down my back.

"I'm supposed to be out there with Dani," I pointed out, nearly on the verge of losing my fucking mind.

This is bad.

Really bad.

"You're not supposed to be anywhere," Mazin emphasized, "Only where you want to be."

I shook my head as I pulled back from her chest, "But I was just with her family," I said, meeting her dark eyes.

"We'll figure it out," Mazin immediately assured me, not even bothered by the idea of me being with Dani and her family.

"It's happening all over again—this is all happening again," I forced out, feeling everything suddenly begin to crumble around me.

Fuck.

"No it's not," Mazin said, her tone as serious as ever with me, "If she lays one fucking hand on you Virelai—"

"I have to go," I suddenly cut her short, realizing the amount of time we've been in here for, "It's been too long already," I pointed out, pulling my hands away from her.

Mazin shook her head, "Virelai—"

"I'm leaving, Mazin," I whispered, pulling away from her entirely and quickly walking past her out of the bathroom.

Which easily made the past memories from high school triple, walking so quickly back toward the theater.

My heart nearly raced to escape my chest, unsure of what would come of this. 

I kept my head down as I walked into the theater, ascending the stairs toward the third row where Dani was still seated.

"I think I'll take that gingerbread," I quickly said before Dani could say anything.

I just hoped it would help her not ask me about Mazin.

Or what took me so long.

Or why my lips look slightly swollen.

They feel tingly.

But I can't tell if that's just in my head, especially with the warmth still coursing so vividly through me.

"Of course," Dani said, immediately handing me the baggy, "Mazin was in the bathroom again?"

I shook my head "No, I saw her taking a call I think," I quickly lied as I opened the baggy of cookies.

Dani nodded, luckily believing what I said I think.

Thank god.

Meanwhile, I was less focused on the movie than before—and more lost in my thoughts.

Or memories you could say.

Of where everything had gone wrong.

❅Seven Years Ago❅

"Virelai," Mazin laughed when I began swaying my hips—pretending like I was surfing as I struck my arms out, "You're definitely still drunk."

I quickly shook my head in offense, "It's been hours since I've had a shot," I pointed out, and it wasn't a lie, we had left the party over two hours ago to go grab food and even then I didn't drink too much, "So you just insulted the real me."

Mazin jokingly rolled her eyes as she continued brushing her teeth, "The drunk you is more of the real you than you are," she pointed out, spitting out her toothpaste.

We had just got back from the last day of summer party, which was quite literally the night before the first day of school.

Hence why neither of us had more than three or four shots.

Luckily, we already planned for this—and I had decided to stay at Mazin's so all of my stuff was here.

More than it already was given I keep a lot of stuff here for whenever I sleep over anyway.

Dani's mom unfortunately wouldn't let her go out the night before the first day of school, or I would probably be staying with her instead.

It honestly took some convincing for even me and Mazin.

But luckily my dad has a soft spot for me—and Tazmin seemed to convince Lena to let Mazin go.

"The real me likes to surf then," I said, lifting my arms back up to pretend to surf again, which naturally made Mazin smile in amusement, setting her toothbrush down.

"Okay then, miss surfer—it's time for mouthwash," Mazin said, picking up the bottle of mouthwash that she opened and handed to me.

But I refused to stop pretending to surf.

So I just parted my lips instead, causing Mazin to shake her head at me as she gently grabbed my chin and poured the minty mouthwash into my mouth for me.

Then she took her own sip too, screwing the lid back on as we both swished the mouthwash into our mouths for a few brief moments.

Until we both spit it out in the sink as Mazin turned the faucet on.

"Time for bed, surfer Virelai," Mazin said, gently grabbing my shoulders to turn me toward the door.

"Ay captain," I jokingly saluted.

"Surfers don't have captains," Mazin laughed as she walked us back into her room toward her large bed.

Which I dramatically flopped face-first into.

"Why are we being technical?" I mumbled into the comforter that my face was smushed into.

At least until Mazin flipped me around onto my back.

"Fine no more technicalities," Mazin said, motioning her head over to the pillows, "But captain is telling you to get in bed properly."

I rolled my eyes, "Now you're just using it to your advantage," I pointed out, turning back around to crawl to the upper part of the bed.

"Rightfully so," Mazin said as she turned the lamp out, sliding under the covers as I did the same.

And I swear I had never laid in a bed more comfortable than hers. 

I would nearly melt into the mattress. 

"It sucks that Dani couldn't make it tonight," I sighed as we laid comfortably on our backs beside each other.

"The last thing I want to talk to you about is Dani," Mazin said, her tone nothing but truthful.

I rolled my eyes, "We get it—you don't like her," I mumbled, already knowing where Mazin stood with her.

But a part of me felt like maybe it was because she might feel the same as I do.

A feeling I pushed away when I realized we would only ever be friends.

Then I ended up dating Dani in our junior year, and ever since we've been going over a year strong.

"She's so... forceful with you," Mazin sighed as she got more comfortable in the bed, "I don't like it."

I only hummed, wondering what Mazin would say if she knew how Dani was in private.

It was something I always kept from Mazin given her suspicions already. 

I just didn't want to give her more reasons not to like her. 

Dani wasn't mean or anything, she would just yell sometimes if she got upset at me for something.

Usually regarding an instance with Mazin.

To even have this sleepover with her, I had to endure a lengthy conversation with Dani.

It always starts off as irritation and then if I try to counter her point or explain she suddenly raises her voice.

So I've just learned to be quiet.

But she always apologized afterward, and she's really sweet about it.

One time she stood at my locker with roses and a strawberry smoothie.

Mazin ended up telling her my favorite flowers were actually tulips.

And then I had to sit through yet another private conversation with Dani about it.

"You would tell me if something was going on right?" Mazin suddenly asked, turning her head to the side.

I furrowed my brows, "What do you mean?" I asked, turning to meet her dark eyes even through the heavy darkness.

"Like if Dani was hurting you," Mazin clarified, her tone suddenly very serious with me.

I smiled slightly, "She doesn't hurt me, Mazin," I said, knowing the worst she might do is jerk me by my wrist if she really wants to talk to me alone.

But it never exceeds that.

"Well it's not always physical," Mazin clarified, subtly sliding closer to me.

And as soon as her leg brushed mine, I could suddenly feel my heart ticking in my chest.

I could also hear it beating in my ears, especially when her hand grazed mine.

Before she gently grabbed it, wrapping my hand in nothing but warmth.

"Like maybe she uses mean words or lashes out at you," Mazin suggested, but I swear I couldn't focus on anything with her so close to me.

Especially her face.

I could feel the warmness of her breath, softly fanning across my face.

"It wouldn't mean anything less of you," Mazin clarified when I remained silent, "She would be the one in the wrong, Virelai."

I blinked a few times, still staring into her dark eyes as I tried to find my words.

She just makes me feel so speechless like this. 

"I know," I suddenly forced out, still staring so deeply into her eyes.

Or else I would find myself looking lower down on her face.

"I just really care about you, and I don't want to see you get hurt," Mazin explained, her voice softer than ever with me. 

"You care about me?" I asked, probably a dumb question given Mazin always showed her care through words and actions.

But a part of me...

Wanted to know if it was more.

Then I could finally move on from this.

I could finally stop overthinking her lingering touches or how she would look at me when no one else was looking.

When she thought I wasn't looking.

"Of course, I care about you," Mazin said, sounding almost offended by my question, "Every inch of you is cared for by me."

I drew in a deep breath at her genuine words, unsure if she ever really heard the things she said.

Or understood the meaning behind them.

"In... what way do you care about me?" I hesitantly asked, and almost immediately I regretted it.

I really don't want to ruin our friendship.

A friendship that had lasted since we were only children. 

And addressing this topic might do that.

"In every way of course," Mazin said, unconsciously sliding closer to me.

So I placed my other hand over hers which held mine, knowing exactly what she wanted without her even having to ask.

And I could feel her relax further under my touch, lifting her hand to rest gently on my cheek.

Which easily sent a warmth coursing from my cheek to my face, and down my body.

"Well, I care about you in every way too," I whispered back, reciprocating her words with my own genuineness.

And I could suddenly notice Mazin furrow her brows slightly—even in the dark.

I could also feel her eyes trailing my face for something more.

I was just unsure of what more was to her?

My breathing practically stalled, getting stuck in my throat the moment I noticed her stare halt at my lips.

Which she never glanced away from, leaving me a huge mess as I anticipated her next move.

But I felt tired of waiting for her.

I've been waiting since freshman year for her to finally notice or do something.

It was halfway through our first year in high school when I realized I had feelings for her, and ever since I've never been able to think properly around her.

Mazin's brows furrowed deeper when I leaned in closer to her—even if it felt wrong, suddenly recalling Dani.

My girlfriend who I would be cheating on if I kissed Mazin.

But weirdly enough, I didn't want to weigh the consequences of anything right now.

I just wanted to do it.

I just wanted it to finally happen with her.

I suddenly drew in a deep breath, glancing down to her lips when she leaned into me.

Which somehow sent my heart into cardiac arrest, unsure if I was hallucinating all of this right now.

But I knew I wasn't when her lips grazed mine and tingles shot up my spine—alerting me that this was all real.

Especially when our lips finally pressed together.

The barrier between us was broken immediately—turning off our backs and onto our sides as our bodies naturally pressed together.

It was beyond anything I had experienced.

This warmth was unfamiliar, but probably the best feeling I've ever experienced.

I never wanted it to stop, especially with her arms wrapped so perfectly around my waist—pressing her hand firmly into my back to hold me even closer.

I ran my arms around her neck, tilting my head back when she deepened the kiss with her tongue.

Which unconsciously made a hum escape my lips, only to be muffled by hers—sliding my tongue into her mouth as I reciprocated her actions.

It was so warm and breathless between us.

To a point that we eventually had to pull back to get air.

And I expected her to say something or maybe even try to kiss me again.

But instead, she pulled me into a full-on hug, nuzzling her face down into my neck.

Which left me confused, unsure of if I should say something first.

But I felt too nervous to, so I just relaxed in her arms instead—listening to the rhythm of her heartbeat as I pressed my ear further against her chest.

It was a sound I fell asleep to, and even woke up to—still tangled in her arms even with the morning sunset barely peaking through the windows.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, realizing what we did last night.

And what might come of it this morning.

What Mazin might possibly say.

She enjoys flirting and messing around with the girls at school a lot.

So I assume this wouldn't be her thing.

And then it could possibly ruin our friendship.

And I just...

I would rather avoid the process of getting my feelings hurt.

So I made an executive decision.

I snuck out.

At least after minutes of trying to get out of her arms and then also out of her bed.

I grabbed my bag of stuff, not bothering to grab anything I left in the bathroom or on the nightstand.

Minus my phone that I definitely needed for an Uber.

My dad was confused when I got back home early that morning, considering I was supposed to be getting ready at Mazin's.

Someone who I thought about all morning with knots in my stomach.

I also thought about Dani.

I knew I had to tell her about this.

I was just unsure of how.

And a part of me was a little scared to.

Not by much really, she just can get so irritated sometimes.

And she's definitely allowed to be more than irritated by this.

I cheated.

What I did last night was cheating.

It was really bad.

So I made the effort to have Dani meet me in the A Hall bathroom that morning before classes started—deciding to just rip the band-aid off and tell her.

Even if it might ruin our first day of school.

But this is my fault.

I messed up and I need to take accountability for it.

"Happy first day baby," Dani greeted me as I walked into the bathroom.

I forced a smile, "Happy first day," I whispered back, adjusting the plaid uniform skirt I wore as I stopped in front of her.

And almost immediately Dani pulled me into a hug.

Which left me with a lingering realization.

She doesn't feel like Mazin.

But Mazin hasn't attempted to text or call me.

Maybe she does want to forget about what happened?

I don't know, Nelli told me on FaceTime this morning that I should talk to her.

And god, did it feel good to tell her about it all and not get judged or yelled at.

I'm not sure Dani will have the same reaction.

"How was the party last night?" Dani asked me as she pulled back slightly from our hug, meeting my dark eyes.

"Good, we didn't drink that much honestly—and then we ended up getting food after," I said, briefly reiterating the night to her, "Then we were getting ready to go to sleep and I was doing this hilarious surfing dance and Mazin—"

"I'm not trying to hear about your sleepover with her," Dani said, taking a full step back from me, "That was the agreement wasn't it?"

I nodded a few times, knowing I still had to at least tell her the one thing, "Yes but—"

"Drop it," Dani cut me short, shaking her head as she glanced away from me, "You're lucky I was okay with you staying at her house in the first place—it's the weirdest fucking dynamic between you two."

I remained silent, unsure of if I should say anything yet.

She seems irritated so I think I should stay quiet.

Maybe I should wait for her to be calm again to mention anything about what happened last night.

"I really don't want to start our day off like this," Dani suddenly sighed, grabbing one of my hands to pull me back into her body, "You just... you go too far sometimes."

I nodded a few times as she hugged me, "I know," I whispered, knowing I should've waited to bring it up.

I also need to bring it up in a better way.

"I still love you so much—aside from all of that," Dani said, holding me closer to her body.

"I love you too," I said back, resting my cheek against her chest as I hugged her back.

And we naturally remained still in the hug for a few more minutes before Dani had to go turn in a summer project—and then I had to find Nelli.

But as soon as I noticed she was talking to Mazin, I suddenly felt stuck frozen.

Especially at her familiar presence after last night.

Her blonde hair was down in loose waves, her face bare and glowy as she wore the usual Claremont button-down and blazer. 

Except she always paired it with khakis while I would typically wear the plaid skirt. 

Mazin looks fine to me.

More than fine.

I guess we are going to forget it?

I need to get closer.

I need to hear what they're talking about. 

I suddenly drew in a deep breath, hesitantly walking closer to them through the groups of students.

And luckily, Nelli closed her locker and turned around to walk with Mazin—allowing me to silently follow them both.

Even into the stairwell.

That I made sure to purposely enter a few delayed seconds after them.

"Come on, Vee already spilled the details," Nelli said, immediately making me pause on the lower stairs—realizing Nelli had stopped Mazin at the staircase above me before they could fully exit the stairwell, "I have to hear your side too," she added, being her usual nosey self.

But I knew it was for me.

She would tell me what Mazin said later.

Little did she know, I was already following them both.

"It meant nothing really—it was just in the moment," Mazin said, sounding almost over the topic, "I genuinely just want to forget about it," she added, her voice void of the softness it held with me last night. 

I blinked a few times, glancing down at my shiny black shoes as I tried to steady my breathing.

Because I annoyingly want to cry at her words.

But it was just a kiss, it's not a big deal.

Even if I looked forward to that happening for years now.

I quickly wiped under my eyes when warm tears spilled from them.

Maybe it is a big deal.

Maybe it was a bigger deal to me than it was to her.

As everything always is with us. 

I understand moving past it... I just don't understand this.

How could it all mean nothing to her?

I suddenly opened one of the double doors, walking out of the stairwell towards yet another bathroom.

Which I ended up hiding in when I couldn't stop crying, skipping my first class to get myself together.

But I simply couldn't.

The offer to spend my senior year in Korea with my mom sounded so appealing right now.

But I knew better than to do that.

I couldn't leave everything behind here.

I also didn't want to leave Mazin even after how much she already hurt me with her words.

So I forced myself to suck it up, pushing through the rest of my school day until I headed home to crawl under my covers and never come out.

At least until Nelli insisted that we go to the frat party Tahir invited us to—but I knew she was hoping to get my mind off of everything with Mazin.

The funny part is, Tahir's not even going to college—he's been focused on integrating himself into the family business with Tazmin.

Something Mazin said she wanted to do as well.

Omara seems more set on sticking to school though.

Something I was also set on—which meant a small part of me was curious to see a college party.

So I decided to go even if seeing Mazin might be the last thing I should do.

I managed to get ready and I even invited Dani since Mazin claimed that kiss meant nothing to her.

I'll show up with Dani then.

Maybe that will show her.

Or at least I thought it would show her.

Until I saw her with a girl, keeping her arms around her waist as they danced among the packed crowd.

So much for showing her anything.

She doesn't care.

She truly doesn't care.

"Your drink," Dani said as she stopped beside me, handing me one of the red solo cups.

She also passed one over to Nelli who stood beside Tahir as they both conversed about something I long zoned out of when I noticed Mazin with someone else.

"Vee are you up for a little beer pong?" Tahir asked with his usual excited smile.

I shrugged, deciding a game of that might be fun.

But before I could form a response, I had unconsciously glanced back over to Mazin.

And at the worst time.

Given she was now kissing that random girl.

Not even twenty-four hours after our kiss.

Which... yeah that one hurt.

Worse than this morning in that stairwell.

"What is it?" Dani asked, furrowing her brows as she analyzed my face.

Which I knew displayed every inch of hurt consuming me.

The tears burning in my eyes made it apparent.

"Vee, what's going on?" Dani asked me more firmly, noticing my line of sight to Mazin.

At least until I glanced away.

"Nothing," I forced out, quickly blinking my tears away as I let out a deep sigh.

And suddenly Nelli had taken a step closer to us, along with Tahir.

Which meant my crying was more obvious than I wanted it to be.

"It's clearly not just nothing," Dani pointed out, reaching for my wrist, "Let's go somewhere private," she said, pulling me away before I could say anything.

"We'll go too—I want to make sure she's good," Tahir said as he followed us with Nelli who nodded in agreement.

"I just want to talk to her alone about something, but you guys can meet us in a few minutes," Dani said as she pulled me closer to her side, quickly leaving them both behind as we weaved through the crowd.

And I could feel her squeezing my wrist tighter and tighter as we walked toward the nearby hallway together.

But this time it was different.

This time it made me flinch.

"Dani," I winced, trying to pull away from her.

But she only squeezed my wrist tighter.

To a point that it made pain shoot up my arm.

"You're hurting me," I tried to say over the music as she pulled me into a nearby vacant bedroom.

"And you're embarrassing me," Dani said as she finally let go of my wrist, closing the door firmly behind her.

I rubbed my sore wrist, "I wasn't trying to I just—"

"You just what?" Dani asked as she walked closer to me, "Because crying over Mazin kissing someone is fucking pathetic."

I blinked a few times, trying to stop my lips from falling into a frown.

Which only made them tremble, trying to keep my emotions at bay.

Especially since I know she's about to yell at me, and crying only makes it worse.

"There's always been something more with you guys—I always said it and you tried to make me think I was the one who was crazy," Dani said, shaking her head to herself, "I bet she's fucking you."

I rapidly shook my head, "No," I forced out, quickly shutting down her assumptions.

"You'll let her fuck you but all we ever do is kiss," Dani said, eyeing me in such a distasteful way that it made tears burn in my eyes before I could fight them away.

"I swear that's not what's going on," I whispered, unconsciously taking a step back from her as I continued to rub my sore wrist.

"Then why else are you crying about her kissing someone?" Dani asked, her voice growing much louder and impatient with me.

I squeezed my eyes shut when she roughly grabbed my shoulders, feeling my warm tears stinging down my cheeks.

"Tell me what is going on," Dani demanded as I continued to squeeze my eyes shut, remaining still under her hold.

I'll only make it worse by pulling away.

"Tell me now or I swear I'll throw you into the wall," Dani said, digging her nails into my covered shoulders and making me flinch in pain.

"I-I—we," I tried to force out, stumbling desperately over my words, "We kissed—we kissed last night."

I felt my body tremble with each breath, anticipating what she would do.

But it was only silence.

Momentary silence.

Which made my eyes hesitantly flutter open to Dani.

Who probably looked the maddest I've ever seen her.

"I'm really sorry—"

"What kind of kiss, Vee?" Dani asked me, wanting to know more of the details.

I shook my head, "What do you mean?" I whispered, flinching when she roughly grabbed my throat.

"Was it just a singular kiss?" Dani asked, finally letting go of my other shoulder.

Which made me relax a little, even if she still held my neck too firmly for my liking.

She can be scary when she's mad.

"It was singular, but more long... we were in bed and—"

A gasp fell from my lips as soon as rough pain shot through the side of my head. 

Which immediately made me start crying, processing the fact that Dani really punched me.

She just... she full-on punched me.

"You were kissing in her fucking bed?" Dani said as I unconsciously began sobbing, hoping she would just let me go.

But her grip was tight around my neck, even as I tried to sink down onto my knees.

"I'm-I'm sorry," I forced out, sobbing in between each word, lifting my arms around my head in defense when she raised her fist again.

And luckily before she could do anything else, the door to the bedroom suddenly opened—quickly grabbing my attention.

"Tahir," I cried harder as Dani finally let me go, causing me to fall onto my knees.

This is so embarrassing.

"What the fuck, Dani," I heard Tahir say as he immediately neared me, "You don't have any right to put your hands on her," he said, lowering down beside me as he gently guided my hands away from my face.

"Fuck," Dani suddenly said, eyeing my face for a moment, "Vee, I'm so sorry—"

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Tahir said, glancing away from me to Dani.

Which naturally made me cry harder, "Please don't—Tahir," I tried to say, but it just sounded like inaudible sobs.

That he luckily managed to make out, nodding a few times as focused back on me.

I swear I just can not stop crying. 

Not even if I tried. 

"I'm sorry, Vee—" 

"Genuinely, shut the fuck up" Tahir cut Dani short as he tried to soothe me, gently wiping my tears away, "Let's just get you out of here," he told me, openly eyeing my face again, which made me wonder if there was a bruise.

The side of my face feels like it's pounding—caved in almost, and then my head really hurts. 

"Is it bad?" I forced out, feeling more tears burn in my eyes.

Tahir pursed his lips together, "Well, not really, it's just—"

"T," I heard her familiar voice say, cutting Tahir short as we both glanced over, "What's going on in..." she trailed off, glancing between us and Dani.

And suddenly I was crying even harder, shaking my head as I tried to hide my face.

"Get her out of here—I don't want her here," I tried to say between my overwhelming sobs, shielding my face from Mazin's stare.

Now this is even worse. 

This is so much worse. 

"You hit her?" I heard Mazin suddenly say.

"It was an accident—a misunderstanding," Dani tried to explain as I cried harder, leaning into Tahir.

Who stiffened beside me, "Maz don't—"

I immediately glanced up when I heard a loud grunt followed by a thud.

And there Dani was—on the ground and holding her hand to her eye.

More tears burned in my eyes, feeling my breathing grow so difficult that it made my chest ache.

"Please... stop—stop," I tried to emphasize between my breaths, reaching for Tahir to do something.

And luckily he had instinctively stood up, especially when Mazin began kicking Dani directly in her stomach—earning deeper grunts from her as she shielded her face.

Which somehow overwhelmed me even more. 

"Maz-Maz, let it go for right now," Tahir firmly pulled her back, but Mazin only fought against his hold, attempting to kick her again.

But Tahir swiftly pulled her back even further before she could.

"Maz, you're scaring Vee," Tahir tried to tell her as I held my hand to my chest, attempting to self-soothe myself, but it just wasn't helping, "Think about Vee."

Mazin's motions slowly stalled.

Until she was no longer fighting Tahir's hold.

There was a brief silence between them. 

Between us all. 

Until he slowly let Mazin go, causing her to instinctively turn to me—disregarding Dani who was now coughing roughly as she hunched over the floor.

"Virelai," Mazin said, but I immediately shook my head.

"I-I, you—I don't want to see you ever again," I forced out, feeling my bottom lip tremble profusely as I stumbled up from the floor.

Which caused Tahir to take a step forward to help me stand, "Vee come on you don't mean that," he said, finding my words directed at Mazin a little harsh.

But she... she doesn't care about me like she said. 

Not in the way I thought at least. 

Otherwise, she wouldn't have kissed me and said it meant nothing—she also wouldn't have kissed someone else the next night at a party she knew I would be at. 

"I don't want to see either of them again," I whispered to Tahir, glancing between her and Dani who was still coughing.

But she managed to shake her head at my words, "Vee, I swear I'm sorry—I was just upset, I lost control," Dani tried to explain as she coughed again. 

But this all hurts too much for that.

It hurts too much for an I'm sorry. 

Emotionally and physically. 

"This is... it's all your fault," I said to Mazin, feeling my eyes burn with more tears when her face physically dropped, "If you didn't kiss her out there—if we didn't kiss..." I trailed off, shaking my head when I broke down further, somehow spiraling all over again.

I can't do this with her anymore.

Mazin.

Or Dani.

I can't play pretend with Mazin anymore.

And I can't endure another hard conversation with Dani.

This might just be the lowest it gets.

"Let's just go home—we can figure it out at home, Virelai," Mazin said as she took a step toward me.

But I immediately took one back, "I'm going home on my own—for good," I said, feeling more tears burn in my eyes at the determination I just made.

I guess I am going back to Korea after all.

"Vee, can we just talk about this?" I heard Dani say as she tried to stand on her feet, causing Mazin's jaw to visibly tighten. 

I quickly shook my head, feeling more tears to burn in my eyes, "Can you take me back to my dad's... please?" I whispered to Tahir, wiping my tears away as I sniffled again.

"Yeah, of course... I got you," Tahir hesitantly said, blinking a few times as he briefly glanced between me and Mazin, "Make sure Nelli gets home safe," he briefly told his sister as we walked past her. 

I had completely forgotten about Nelli. 

Someone who I didn't want to tell about this. 

Not yet at least. 

"Virelai," Mazin said, attempting to follow behind us.

"Let's just give her some time—you guys can talk when she's ready," Tahir said, following close behind me down the hallway as I kept my head down.

If there is a bruise I would definitely have to use a lot of concealer. 

Or else my dad might genuinely kill Dani. 

And I don't want anyone to die. 

I walked closer to Tahir as Mazin reluctantly stayed behind instead of following after me.

I'm just unsure if she would've done that knowing what came next.

Knowing that I would take off to Korea and not return for years.

Maybe things would've gone a lot differently.

Maybe Mazin would've tried to talk to me on the spot.

Or she wouldn't have said what she said in that stairwell.

Nor kiss that random girl.

Maybe a lot of things would be much different now.

Had we both known.